The old testament. . abraham: And Gad aadd unto Abraham, "Abraham." And Abraham replied, "What." Gad aadd to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life." But Jo yes
x
Click to expand

The old testament

Tags: yes
abraham:
And Gad aadd unto Abraham, "Abraham."
And Abraham replied, "What."
Gad aadd to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life." But John
came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judah approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one
whom I idea itt the one you BEBE"
To which they rammed, "Gay."
And thaa, Gad made Eve. And are waa bammin’ ' bootylicious.
...
  • Recommend tagsx
+1843
Views: 62009
Favorited: 434
Submitted: 06/01/2013
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to chrisruler submit to reddit

Comments(146):

[ 146 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #7 - MCPO (06/01/2013) [-]
God said upon Noah: "Noah, you will build an ark 300 cubits long, 60 cubits wide, and 40 cubits tall."

In which Noah replied onto god: "God, What's a cubit?"
#37 to #7 - goodmagitian (06/02/2013) [-]
And God showed him Minecraft
#60 to #7 - shiteonastick (06/02/2013) [-]
If Noah had the benefit of hindsight on his ship
He could've snatched two unicorns and left behind the ************* ...
Pigs
User avatar #73 to #60 - awesomanium (06/02/2013) [-]
Yeah, and then we'd have no bacon.
#17 to #7 - anon (06/02/2013) [-]
Cubit = tip of finger to elbow / about 18 inches (46cm)
#53 to #17 - anon (06/02/2013) [-]
That measurement is assuming their size was a certain standard we know.
#24 to #7 - anon (06/02/2013) [-]
Bill Cosby made this same kind of joke.
User avatar #25 to #24 - MCPO (06/02/2013) [-]
Oh no. If only I had seen the performance that the joke is based off of.
#41 to #7 - infectionslaugh (06/02/2013) [-]
I don't know why, but I thought in Quantum Bits when I read the word Cubits...

<pic somewhat related, I like to post pics And that was my face when I read the word Cubits
User avatar #112 to #41 - kaitheguy (06/02/2013) [-]
as did i
#74 to #41 - indianboii (06/02/2013) [-]
me too, but that is written qubit
User avatar #141 to #74 - infectionslaugh (06/02/2013) [-]
In Spanish the word 'qubit' can also be written as 'cubit'...
(Sorry if my English it's not perfect, I do my best)
#145 to #141 - indianboii (06/02/2013) [-]
aha, i did not know that.
you spanish?
User avatar #147 to #145 - infectionslaugh (06/02/2013) [-]
Well, now you know it

Yeah, Spanish is my mother tongue, I learned English from watching movies and reading on Internet and other things like that...
#149 to #147 - indianboii (06/02/2013) [-]
well, you can guess from my name where i'm from
User avatar #151 to #149 - infectionslaugh (06/02/2013) [-]
England?

Nah, just kidding...

I'm from México! It's nice to meet someone from other country!!
#152 to #151 - indianboii (06/02/2013) [-]
yeah, it is
btw, im from norway xD
0
#148 to #147 - indianboii has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #18 to #9 - wellimnotsure (06/02/2013) [-]
Im in no way religious but Jesus isn't the son of man, common mistake
#34 to #18 - teenytinyspider (06/02/2013) [-]
But I thought Jesus sometimes was referred to as the "Son of man"?

I'll need to check on that one. It's too late in the night to do it now.
User avatar #19 to #18 - RidgeRacer (06/02/2013) [-]
You know what ,I saw that when I was posting and I knew someone was going to say something.
User avatar #20 to #19 - wellimnotsure (06/02/2013) [-]
Just spreading the "gospel truth" ba dum tss
User avatar #23 to #20 - gziggas (06/02/2013) [-]
I was raised in a church. Jesus was always referred to as the son of man.
It's pretty ******* ridiculous, if you ask me.
#27 to #23 - pxthreezerothree (06/02/2013) [-]
Do you understand the significance the phrase held in Greek?
User avatar #28 to #27 - gziggas (06/02/2013) [-]
Why, no, in fact. I do not. Could you inform me of this significance?
#29 to #28 - pxthreezerothree (06/02/2013) [-]
It is a phrase that indicates a eternal, divine ruler and a representation of mankind as a whole. So Jesus the divine ruler and the example by which all of mankind is suppose to live.
User avatar #30 to #29 - gziggas (06/02/2013) [-]
That seems to make sense. Though, I still don't care too much. I was raised on it, and I can't stand it anymore. I was just bored.
#31 to #30 - pxthreezerothree (06/02/2013) [-]
Doesn't hurt to understand it. Here's Superman taking a shot.
Doesn't hurt to understand it. Here's Superman taking a shot.
#8 - snakefire (06/02/2013) [-]
I showed this to my heavily religious grandmother. She laughed at the first three, then called the fourth one blasphemy.
#13 to #8 - anon (06/02/2013) [-]
I guess not even religious jokes are safe from feminists.
#45 to #13 - anon (06/02/2013) [-]
******* retard
User avatar #15 to #8 - fjsknight (06/02/2013) [-]
What is that picture from?
#51 to #15 - fargone (06/02/2013) [-]
It's the God-Emperor of Mankind in the form he took when he united the Asiatic Conclaves in the War of Unification.
User avatar #52 to #51 - fjsknight (06/02/2013) [-]
I'll just take your word for it
#125 to #51 - shruiecken ONLINE (06/02/2013) [-]
Heres it captioned if you want it
User avatar #114 to #51 - randomnab (06/02/2013) [-]
Source, now.
User avatar #115 to #114 - fargone (06/02/2013) [-]
Warhammer 40,000
User avatar #130 to #115 - randomnab (06/02/2013) [-]
Thanks, have a thumb
User avatar #21 to #8 - zorororonoa (06/02/2013) [-]
Wait wait wait, she think bootylicious is blasphemous, but a ******* gay joke is okay?
User avatar #22 to #21 - snakefire (06/02/2013) [-]
yes
#33 to #22 - anon (06/02/2013) [-]
Slap her for her foolishness.
#54 to #33 - heeveejeevees (06/02/2013) [-]
&quot;Take this grandma!&quot;
"Take this grandma!"
#88 - bullbrigade (06/02/2013) [-]
Always cracks me up
#5 - mrshrapnel (06/01/2013) [-]
Then god made spiders to hard counter eve.
Then god made spiders to hard counter eve.
User avatar #38 to #5 - hektoroftroy (06/02/2013) [-]
I think you mean wasps
#46 to #5 - anon (06/02/2013) [-]
Is this... is this a vague LoL reference?
#42 to #5 - dawdawdwa (06/02/2013) [-]
Part hard gifs anyone?
Part hard gifs anyone?
#134 to #42 - sanguinesolitude (06/02/2013) [-]
This image has expired
mf fav
#127 to #42 - shruiecken ONLINE (06/02/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#142 to #135 - shruiecken ONLINE (06/02/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#150 to #146 - shruiecken ONLINE (06/02/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#12 - cupotruth (06/02/2013) [-]
And on the third day Jesus was still dead because holy **** that looked like it hurt.
#63 - thascomrad (06/02/2013) [-]
Jesus is sucha nice man
#103 - neznanc **User deleted account** (06/02/2013) [-]
User avatar #3 - kietzu (06/01/2013) [-]
Text recognition strikes again.

And Judah approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one
whom I idea itt the one you BEBE"
To which they rammed, "gay."
User avatar #16 to #3 - thinegame (06/02/2013) [-]
I don't think ramming will help their case.
#61 - crazyolitis (06/02/2013) [-]
Heresy.

You all know what kind of thread this shall become now.
#66 to #61 - theshadowed (06/02/2013) [-]
DO I hear the sound of Heresy?
#67 to #66 - crazyolitis (06/02/2013) [-]
Why, yes. Yes you do hear heresy.
Why, yes. Yes you do hear heresy.
#69 to #68 - crazyolitis (06/02/2013) [-]
For teh spehs mareens! for teh emprah!
#70 to #69 - theshadowed (06/02/2013) [-]
BLUD FURRR DE BLUD GUD
#71 to #70 - crazyolitis (06/02/2013) [-]
SKALLS FOR DA SKALL TFROHN! MILK FOR TEH KHORNEFLAKES!
User avatar #75 to #71 - theshadowed (06/02/2013) [-]
I am out unfortunately
#76 to #75 - crazyolitis (06/02/2013) [-]
Well that sucks...
#77 to #76 - theshadowed (06/02/2013) [-]
Oh no, got a few more
#79 to #78 - theshadowed (06/02/2013) [-]
This little stamp is my final piece *sniff*
#80 to #79 - crazyolitis (06/02/2013) [-]
But that means... This thread is going to be ordered to exterminatus! Goddamnit!
But that means... This thread is going to be ordered to exterminatus! Goddamnit!
User avatar #82 to #80 - theshadowed (06/02/2013) [-]
I have failed the Emperor
#83 to #82 - crazyolitis (06/02/2013) [-]
The inquisition will have your head.
User avatar #84 to #83 - theshadowed (06/02/2013) [-]
What are the best 40k Warhammer games?
User avatar #85 to #84 - crazyolitis (06/02/2013) [-]
Meh, I've only played the demo's, but the dawn of war series is alirght.
User avatar #144 to #84 - sanguinesolitude (06/02/2013) [-]
ive never really played a good one. Space marine was ok, but not great.
User avatar #10 - bme (06/02/2013) [-]
And go said "Do not eat the holy fruit of this tree" and adam said" **** it i've got the munchies"
#87 - sausageskin (06/02/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #96 to #87 - wtfnametoolong (06/02/2013) [-]
all hail zoidberg
User avatar #11 - hazmathank (06/02/2013) [-]
And so Adam said " I will name this sweet fruit, orange", and god said "I don't care anymore"
+13
#36 - thedepressedpotato **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
[ 146 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)