Its as funny as a clock at 12:00 pm. . The following are actual winning analogies in the "worst analogies ever written in a high school essay" contest The littl
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Its as funny as a clock at 12:00 pm

The following are actual winning analogies in the "worst
analogies ever written in a high school essay" contest
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the
way a bowling ball wouldn' t.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty
Bag filled with vegetable soup.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a
sneeze.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots
in the center.
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
T) flw. / ch@ urgg but gets
He was as tall as a threepence tree.
Long separated by cruel fate, the lovers raced
across the grassy field toward each other like two freight
trains, one having left Cleveland at 6: traveling at 55
mph, the other from Topeka at 4: at a speed of 35 mph.
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after
the Dr. on a Dr. Pepper can.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two
hummingbirds who had also never met.
...
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Submitted: 05/27/2013
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Comments(103):

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#18 - redclover (05/28/2013) [+] (3 replies)
I want to read the whole story now.
It may just be the greatest piece of literature ever composed.
#9 - honkan (05/28/2013) [+] (6 replies)
Here are a few more.
#15 - slias (05/28/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Now you see, after having finished several years of shitty, entirely pointless literature courses, I can honestly say that these are all fucking fantastic analogies.
#13 - maledicere (05/28/2013) [-]
'He was as tall as a six-foot three-inch tree.'    
   
   
Bloody precious !
'He was as tall as a six-foot three-inch tree.'


Bloody precious !
User avatar #3 - VICTORx (05/28/2013) [+] (2 replies)
i actually quite like the bowling ball one
#25 - kaffedk (05/28/2013) [-]
Lost it at the last one.
Lost it at the last one.
#62 - fuckyeahpidgey (05/28/2013) [-]
Like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup?   
   
I can imagine it so clearly
Like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup?

I can imagine it so clearly
#16 - wheres (05/28/2013) [+] (1 reply)
HOLD THE FUCK UP

"They floated in the air in the way a brick wouldn't"
-Douglas MOTHAFUCKING ADAMS
User avatar #39 - designateddumbass (05/28/2013) [+] (8 replies)
Good thing I was drinking a Dr. Pepper while reading this, or I would not have believed the thing about the period. I had honestly never before noticed that it wasn't there...
User avatar #38 - daentraya (05/28/2013) [-]
It is now my goal to write a story including as many as these as possible, just for the hell of it
#2 - optimussum (05/28/2013) [-]
They were actually pretty fucking funny
User avatar #59 - psychosamm (05/28/2013) [-]
This post made me chuckle like an overweight man choking on his favorite flavor of chicken wings.
#26 - MysticTomatoe (05/28/2013) [-]
pretty funny
#41 - stepsword ONLINE (05/28/2013) [-]
The Dr. Pepper one actually made sense though!!
The Dr. Pepper one actually made sense though!!
User avatar #74 - firstresponder (05/28/2013) [-]
this made me laugh in the way that a bowling ball wouldnt
#60 - gingeraletwo (05/28/2013) [-]
This was fucking awesome.
This was fucking awesome.
#102 - allseer (05/28/2013) [-]
FUCK.
#11 - jokerja (05/28/2013) [-]
This is the one thing from my way from the front page that has actually made me laugh.
This is the one thing from my way from the front page that has actually made me laugh.
#5 - blizzeh ONLINE (05/28/2013) [-]
Oh god, not the soup!
Oh god, not the soup!
[ 103 comments ]
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