definitely keep him. . chickensandwich: What if your giving a bi in the shower and he just starts shampooing and conditioning youwhat very polite keep him. On a unrelated notice, there are more nipples in the world than there are people. Please move onwards to the next comment.
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Comments(201):

[ 201 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#5 - felixjarl ONLINE (05/26/2013) [-]
On a unrelated notice, there are more nipples in the world than there are people.

Please move onwards to the next comment.
#141 to #5 - boomboomsha (05/26/2013) [-]
what the **** man
User avatar #150 to #5 - lostbutseeking (05/26/2013) [-]
I havent seen anything more random and in the same time true sentence in my life so far. I thank you.
User avatar #158 to #5 - whenuleastxpect (05/26/2013) [-]
you made my day.
-4
#203 to #5 - larryqa **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #225 to #203 - ctenop (05/27/2013) [-]
Even if it only included female nipples it would be true...
#205 to #5 - nymikemet (05/27/2013) [-]
My God!   
They are Taking Over!
My God!
They are Taking Over!
#239 to #5 - Jesusnipples (05/27/2013) [-]
My username made me feel like I had some sort of responsibility to reply to this comment
User avatar #216 to #5 - gorginhanson (05/27/2013) [-]
I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?
User avatar #30 to #5 - chaossniper (05/26/2013) [-]
what if i told you there are twice more nipples than humans (+/- 0.05% third nipples)

source : i know i counted them
User avatar #36 to #30 - freddyb (05/26/2013) [-]
i know someone who doesn't have any nipples
User avatar #37 to #36 - chaossniper (05/26/2013) [-]
i met the guy he is in my calculations
User avatar #41 to #37 - freddyb (05/26/2013) [-]
don't you call my sister "he"
User avatar #103 to #41 - chaossniper (05/26/2013) [-]
sorry was hard to tell the difference without nipples
User avatar #93 to #41 - RamzaBeoulve (05/26/2013) [-]
You've seen your sister's lack of nipples? Kinky.
+1
#70 to #36 - Yesitsme has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #232 to #30 - tastycrisps (05/27/2013) [-]
what if they were twisted off?
User avatar #59 to #30 - originalanonymous (05/26/2013) [-]
What about third nipples.
User avatar #138 to #59 - hektoroftroy (05/26/2013) [-]
Like Marky-Mark
User avatar #102 to #59 - chaossniper (05/26/2013) [-]
already counted mate
#14 to #5 - dissectedtesticle (05/26/2013) [-]
that's kind of... obvious...
User avatar #22 to #14 - bitchplzzz (05/26/2013) [-]
However, there are less penisses than humans
User avatar #24 to #22 - dissectedtesticle (05/26/2013) [-]
Actually, since every male mammal has a penis, that statement is false.
User avatar #143 to #24 - manicekman (05/26/2013) [-]
Not only mammals have penises. So penises outnumber people a lot.
#144 to #143 - dissectedtesticle (05/26/2013) [-]
I didn't want to go into detail.
User avatar #25 to #24 - lurifax (05/26/2013) [-]
... no. Humans. Females don't have penises.
User avatar #26 to #25 - dissectedtesticle (05/26/2013) [-]
He didn't mention that the penis owners should be only humans.
#27 to #26 - lurifax (05/26/2013) [-]
Oh, I see.
User avatar #42 to #24 - pedobearRAW (05/26/2013) [-]
sharks have two penisses
User avatar #95 to #42 - fistpump (05/26/2013) [-]
I mean every two men are one shark.
**** , I don't know.
User avatar #94 to #42 - fistpump (05/26/2013) [-]
Therefore, every man is two sharks.
#133 to #42 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
Sure... but sharks aren't mammals.
User avatar #31 to #22 - carnivoreapples (05/26/2013) [-]
i guess this means we should share
#23 to #22 - pearfield (05/26/2013) [-]
Just as obvious, really
#39 - ggdhindo (05/26/2013) [-]
i would do that but i dont have a girlfriend
User avatar #69 to #39 - usernamecannotload (05/26/2013) [-]
see comment #58
#66 to #39 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
Then take up Plato and Hobbes and Milton and have patience.
#96 to #39 - penetractor (05/26/2013) [-]
i would do that, but my gf doesnt shower much and doesnt like to suck dick
#101 to #96 - jonnyfunk (05/26/2013) [-]
This image has expired
**jonnyfunk rolled a random image posted in comment #40 at I'm going on an adven - oh shit ** oh she does! just not yours
#231 to #96 - anon (05/27/2013) [-]
"my girlfriend doesn't shower much"

dude. gross.
+46
#87 - truekiller has deleted their comment [-]
#106 to #87 - linkheros (05/26/2013) [-]
canoodling
canoodling
#58 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
Guise. Seriously.

Stop being whiny cunts. You're all young, still.

You will eventually meet someone, stop worrying about it already. Do you want a girlfriend? Step one; BE CONFIDENT. I know it might be hard, but it's most definitely the best way. Girls like secure guys.

Shower, put on some nice clothes and go outside on a Saturday night. Don't sit home on funnyjunk feeling sorry for yourselves. As said, be confident, but don't try too hard. YOU are who YOU are, and there is someone out there specifically for YOU. Keep looking, don't give up. You all have it in you. One day, you will meet the person who is meant for you. I promise.
User avatar #152 to #58 - arizonastar (05/26/2013) [-]
I hope you're right. I really, really do.
#189 to #58 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
THANK YOU.

I was getting annoyed at the comments
-13
#60 to #58 - nigalthornberry has deleted their comment [-]
#91 to #60 - penetractor (05/26/2013) [-]
being cute wont get your dick sucked
being cute wont get your dick sucked
+5
#125 to #91 - infernis has deleted their comment [-]
#113 to #58 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
actually its proven that if you look like brad pitt, you will get your dick sucked regardless if you are confident or not.
#126 to #113 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
only if you has his fame and money to go with it, though.
#130 to #126 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
*have, damnit.
#108 to #58 - icametocomment (05/26/2013) [-]
Anon has a point. Girls dig confidence. Big difference between that and douchebaggery, though.
User avatar #120 to #58 - tastycrisps (05/26/2013) [-]
What advice would you give for a lonely female?
#148 to #120 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
TELL THE GUY YOU LIKE HIM.

No, seriously. We're ******* stupid and insecure, so if you don't flat out tell us we'll never know.
User avatar #218 to #148 - tastycrisps (05/27/2013) [-]
Did that, I did not end well.

Asked him out, he didn't take it as seriously as it actually was, he thought I meant to go out as friends. Well somewhere along the line he caught on, but didn't say anything. I tried plan after plan to get a first date, but he kept shooting me down with lame excuses. He even turned down going to Universal Studios. Well two months later I realize he's not really into it so I confront him about it("Did you only say yes to going out to be nice"). Well he confesses he only likes me as a friend and didn't get the full meaning when I asked him out. We kindof fought, and I haven't talked to him since.

As a side note: Two of his favorite sayings are "Nice guys finish last" and "There's nothing as awful and frustrating as the friendzone.
User avatar #149 to #120 - othagovna (05/26/2013) [-]
- Be yourself.

- Make the first move. (Many guys actually like it when the girl makes the first move and asks them out. It removes quite a bit of uncertainty of if the girl actually likes him, boosts his confidence and is very flattering to the guy).

- Be up front and strait forward with the guy. (Men are generally very strait forward in how they communicate, whereas women rely more on body language and other subtle methods of communication that men have difficulty understanding.)
User avatar #217 to #149 - tastycrisps (05/27/2013) [-]
-no problem

-made first move to a guy like 6 months ago. not only did he not like me, but he said nothing about it, he just made lame excuses no not go out until we just fell apart(destroyed my confidence BTW)

-please, i hate non-direct communication. I say what I mean and what's on my mind because I want people to trust my opinion. If I say your shirt is nice, I really ******* think the shirt is nice.
User avatar #240 to #217 - othagovna (05/27/2013) [-]
If the guy is shy/introverted then he will more than likely rebuff a girl's advances for a while (until she can convince him that she's not just toying with him and actually does like him).

Many shy/quiet/introverted guys do that in order to avoid getting hurt by rejection or being toyed with by girls. Some of them do this due to a lack of confidence that may have been compounded over time. Others do this because experience has taught them that the only reason a girl would be "interested" in him is if she is trying to use (and then discard) him, or is trying to lead him on for her own amusement.

As a result of this many of these types of guys will just automatically assume that any girl making advances on him is either trying to use him or is trying to toy with him. Proving that those are not your intention can take a while and require a fair bit of understanding.
User avatar #145 to #120 - nonnotitiapono (05/26/2013) [-]
you dont have to do much but wait, atleast thats how i see it.
User avatar #136 to #120 - thebestperson (05/26/2013) [-]
As a fellow female, be yourself and don't follow the crowd.
User avatar #129 to #58 - edlias (05/26/2013) [-]
I hate people whining about not having a girlfriend also but I also hate how people say to just be confident. People don't just flick a switch and are all the sudden confident, it takes a lot of time for people to build it up within themselves if they lack it. You cant just think "women like confidence, I am now going to be confident". Not to mention there is something that is making them insecure in the first place which they need to address and it isn't always easy as hitting the gym.
#77 to #58 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
Or you will live long enough to see yourself become the dbag
#191 to #77 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
No... that's not twue... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
#100 to #58 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
What if I can't go anywhere on a Saturday night because my parents refuse to let me get my goddamn license?
User avatar #122 to #100 - ICEDgrunge (05/26/2013) [-]
Do what you were innately born to do and walk.
#151 to #122 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
What if girls refuse to date you because you don't have a Mustang or BMW to take them around in like all the other guys you know?

*sobs quietly*
#172 to #151 - bannon (05/26/2013) [-]
Then ditch that bitch!
User avatar #190 to #151 - ICEDgrunge (05/26/2013) [-]
You're going for the wrong ******* women then. Stop trying to pin your inability to get a date on anyone but yourself. If you have the ambition then you will get what you want, and you clearly lack that.
#64 to #58 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
but what do if girl ?
#68 to #64 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
Do the same **** smarty
#81 to #58 - davajz (05/26/2013) [-]
Damn Tyrone you got it together
Damn Tyrone you got it together
#74 to #58 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
Or you'll die alone.
#1 - pooflinger (05/26/2013) [-]
Imagining this gives me a feel.





I am sad that I will probably never experience this. It would be lovely for both myself and whoever was giving me the blowjob.
#137 to #1 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
Stop being a beta wuss
Go out, meet women and get your ******* blowjob already dammit
#193 to #1 - anon (05/27/2013) [-]
You'll have it happen, I have heard so many of my friends swear they will never be with someone in high school. Now you look at those people years later and they all have girlfriends or wives.
User avatar #142 to #1 - Kairyuka (05/26/2013) [-]
Well do you want a blowjob or a relationship with someone you love? Because one of those are very easy, and the other takes lots of self-reflection
User avatar #28 to #1 - nebuchadnezzaurus (05/26/2013) [-]
At least you got a roof over your head, food, and an internet connection
that's what I tell myself, anyway
User avatar #115 to #1 - drastronomy (05/26/2013) [-]
likewise.....

ugly loners unite
#29 to #1 - hrg (05/26/2013) [-]
Wouldn't it be you and the the person you were giving the blowjob too
User avatar #21 to #1 - ivoryshadow (05/26/2013) [-]
Sorry to hear that pooflinger...
User avatar #35 to #1 - ompalomper (05/26/2013) [-]
you know?

month or two at the gym, hitting a few bars, pretending to be confident to the point that you become confident and then get a gf and you won't have to imagine
User avatar #65 to #1 - deathstare (05/26/2013) [-]
Problem I see with that is:
1. The shampoo will run into her eyes and mouth, if not properly cared for (or if water runs)
2. Said shampoo, once in her mouth, will enter the urethra of your penis.
3. You now have two people in pain. Worst case scenario, your penis gets bitten off.
#2 to #1 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
well if you want....





we could get you a dog and some peanut butter.
0
#166 to #48 - anon Comment deleted by rasconza [-]
User avatar #182 to #166 - rasconza (05/26/2013) [-]
not on my content
#79 to #2 - pooflinger (05/26/2013) [-]
Its just not the same.   
   
   
   
   
Believe me.
Its just not the same.




Believe me.
#40 to #2 - thefasrdog (05/26/2013) [-]
My dog hates the shower...
#139 to #2 - cough (05/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#176 to #2 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
wouldnt the dog just bite your dick off, i've never understood how a dog just wouldn't take a chuck otta it since it tastes good to him
User avatar #229 to #176 - qwarthos (05/27/2013) [-]
dogs don't chew peanut butter, they lick it
User avatar #220 to #176 - iamnotstevenhooper ONLINE (05/27/2013) [-]
Dogs are a bit smarter than that. Most of them anyway.
#83 to #2 - entarasul (05/26/2013) [-]
get a job pay hookers god dammit
+1
#202 to #2 - larryqa **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
+13
#128 - bendingtimesucks **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #132 to #128 - onebadbassoonist (05/26/2013) [-]
Especially if it causes her to bite down...
#177 - kikkelikeiju (05/26/2013) [-]
Why would I shampoo and condition my hands...? They´re not THAT hairy...
#159 - dirtyharrypegs (05/26/2013) [-]
**dirtyharrypegs rolled a random image posted in comment #104 at Spiderman has no nose. **
#210 to #159 - thempc (05/27/2013) [-]
This image has expired
this is what it would be like if spiderman was bought by disney
#185 to #159 - agentpurplek (05/26/2013) [-]
Spiderman logic is best logic
Spiderman logic is best logic
#46 - leeisawesome (05/26/2013) [-]
I definitely want to try this out on someone, just to see their reaction, for the lols

just need to find someone to love me now...

<--- HFW
#86 to #82 - leeisawesome (05/26/2013) [-]
I got excited for a moment then because I thought I'd pulled, then I realised you assumed I was offering to GIVE the blowjob...

Sorry pal

>YFW
#89 to #86 - entarasul (05/26/2013) [-]
who said i am a guy?
#90 to #89 - leeisawesome (05/26/2013) [-]
You posted in the 'show a picture of yourself' thread
#92 to #90 - entarasul (05/26/2013) [-]
you dirty little ****** every girl on internet is a pedo didnt u know
#97 to #92 - leeisawesome (05/26/2013) [-]
Maybe the sort of girls you're talking to online
Maybe the sort of girls you're talking to online
#98 to #97 - entarasul (05/26/2013) [-]
you would never know what i am doing to this kind of jokers
#135 - scumbagposter (05/26/2013) [-]
Shampoo+Dick
Shampoo+Dick
User avatar #140 - platapus (05/26/2013) [-]
to this day that was stil the best prison shower rape I ever had!
#118 - mode (05/26/2013) [-]
#73 - raidenkanya (05/26/2013) [-]
My ex and I did this once, the only problem is some shampoo got in my eye around the same time he came.
My ex and I did this once, the only problem is some shampoo got in my eye around the same time he came.
#155 to #73 - disies (05/26/2013) [-]
&quot;My ex&quot;...You have seen some dicks in front of you, dirty     
   
   
:You and your ex in that moment
"My ex"...You have seen some dicks in front of you, dirty


:You and your ex in that moment
#80 to #73 - anon (05/26/2013) [-]
Yes... shampoo...
#112 to #80 - raidenkanya (05/26/2013) [-]
Yes.   
   
Shampoo.
Yes.

Shampoo.
User avatar #20 - martiini (05/26/2013) [-]
And while he's doing her behind it's also polite to wash the floors since she's already on a face-down position.
User avatar #3 - rzkruspe (05/26/2013) [-]
That's actually the kind of thing I would do
#99 - jonnyfunk (05/26/2013) [-]
This image has expired
your
#214 - tropicalbonerfish (05/27/2013) [-]
I would be **** scared of him getting shampoo in my eyes
User avatar #157 - juanbalcknwhite (05/26/2013) [-]
liked it on facebook.
might as well thumbed it up here too.
User avatar #15 - raidaltamimi ONLINE (05/26/2013) [-]
why i read it shampooping....... why?
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