3% sure. . when rich the first thing doing Is getting laser hair removal an every inch at my body that isn' t my head yew leek pretty funny without eyea: re' -w
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Comments(128):

[ 128 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#53 - manirock (05/19/2013) [-]
>First become immortal   
>Buy/breed millions of koala bears   
>Equip them with infant-sized military uniforms with cute little helmets   
>Genetically engineer for extreme aggression and thirst for blood   
>Buy brain wash device   
>Convince them I am their general   
>Go to 9 year old's birthday party   
>Release my horde   
>Hire several mexican janitors for cleanup   
>Head back to base   
>Repeat until no humans survive past age 9   
>Make children become fertile at infancy   
>Babies continue to spawn   
>Convince all children I am God and koalas are my angels   
>Beautiful peace for a time   
>Eventually get bored   
>Order koalas to execute all other humans   
>Remove immortality   
>Kill self   
>Allow koalas to live and evolve on their own   
>Planet of the Koalas
>First become immortal
>Buy/breed millions of koala bears
>Equip them with infant-sized military uniforms with cute little helmets
>Genetically engineer for extreme aggression and thirst for blood
>Buy brain wash device
>Convince them I am their general
>Go to 9 year old's birthday party
>Release my horde
>Hire several mexican janitors for cleanup
>Head back to base
>Repeat until no humans survive past age 9
>Make children become fertile at infancy
>Babies continue to spawn
>Convince all children I am God and koalas are my angels
>Beautiful peace for a time
>Eventually get bored
>Order koalas to execute all other humans
>Remove immortality
>Kill self
>Allow koalas to live and evolve on their own
>Planet of the Koalas
User avatar #123 to #53 - newmanchamp (05/19/2013) [-]
How the **** do people like you come up with these glorious stories

Well done sir
#134 to #53 - humans (05/19/2013) [-]
What did I ever do to deserve this...
#69 to #53 - aludin (05/19/2013) [-]
I wouldn't kill myself. I would just hide and wait for the koalas to evolve and present yourself one day as their god.
User avatar #5 - trojanmannn (05/19/2013) [-]
I'm bored so I'm gonna make a list of all the things I'd do if I was rich
>Buy Clothes. I have literally nothing I ever wear ever
>Get a maid because I hate doing laundry
>Get the most expensive gaming pc out there
>Buy out EA and make them not be assholes
>Be iron man
>My teeth are sorta crooked and it pisses me off so I'd get the best mouth possible
>I'd buy Emma Stone
>Buy a ******* spyker c12 or an huayra
>Buy funnyjunk
Alright I've exerted that bit of fun.
#19 to #5 - anon (05/19/2013) [-]
>Buy 200 pounds of crude plutonium
>Hire an ex-military nucleur scientist
>Bomb a country that you don't like
>Start a WW3

Won't that be grand?
User avatar #31 to #5 - impo **User deleted account** (05/19/2013) [-]
hum...

> Buy some expensive brand name clothes and shoes
> An arsenal would be great
> Invest in human trafficking
> Invest in toilet paper industry
> Invest in park managment, public security
> Candidate for mayor
> repeat and profit

Phew, this was tough and fun!
User avatar #59 to #5 - Timmietim (05/19/2013) [-]
the new spyker venator looks awesome,
the interior was beautiful too when i saw it
#64 to #5 - pervertodores (05/19/2013) [-]
you cant be ironman
User avatar #65 to #5 - safo (05/19/2013) [-]
**** im so privileged, I own half of your list
User avatar #66 to #5 - nightdge (05/19/2013) [-]
I can relate on the gaming pc, but the damm guitar park i would have, ***********
#99 to #5 - anon (05/19/2013) [-]
>Buy out EA and make them not be assholes

HERO AS ****
#110 to #5 - seizure (05/19/2013) [-]
I feel you on the teeth thing bro... It's been affecting my confidence for years.
User avatar #24 to #5 - xecoq (05/19/2013) [-]
Spyker **** yeah

The Netherlands **** yeah
#79 to #5 - anon (05/19/2013) [-]
You LITERALLY have nothing you ever wear ever? You always walk around naked?
#92 to #5 - anon (05/19/2013) [-]
you said rich. not rich enough to make bill gates your butler.
User avatar #23 to #5 - localcatbarber (05/19/2013) [-]
"> be iron man"
So you are already a genius playboy philanthropist?
User avatar #125 to #23 - thekich (05/19/2013) [-]
You aren't?
#98 to #5 - doctorrock (05/19/2013) [-]
But funnyjunk isn't a corporation, it's a dictatorship democracy.
+8
#15 to #5 - tittylovin has deleted their comment [-]
#7 to #5 - anon (05/19/2013) [-]
>hire armies to fight WW3 with pool noodles
>fund cure for cancer. keep it and not share it with anyone
>buy faberge eggs for my omelettes
>buy China and use it as my ping pong room
>hire justin beiber to eat all of my poops
>solid ****** gold spaceships
>send people i don't like to siberia where they are forced to suck horse cock
User avatar #18 to #7 - appleisland (05/19/2013) [-]
instead of sending people you don't like to siberia to get horse cock. you could just send them to ABC Amy's Baking Company
User avatar #8 - midgetmayhem (05/19/2013) [-]
what i would do i i am rich:
> Buy a plane
> Buy a tank
> Put tank in the plane
> fly over westboro church
> drop my paylload of death
> then go home and hire mexican strippers to help me study spanish ( It is a good motivator)
User avatar #22 to #8 - thelegitsuperfurry (05/19/2013) [-]
That's a very stupid idea.
#10 - coolchalkyxxx (05/19/2013) [-]
> Buy a yacht, but instead of an anchor hire a team of scuba divers to take the chain to the seafloor and hold it down.
>Hire a boys choir, and sit in the audience as they perform with a blow dart gun picking them off one by one. (bonus points for nailing them as they hit their falsettos)
>Hire Morgan Freeman to follow me around narrating my life.
>Hire a famous top 100 singer to write a romance song about my burps and it has to be totally serious.
>Summon Cthulhu and bring about chaos and destr- oops wrong list.....
>Hire uptight butlers from high society England to take place in a human size chess game in which all players are armed with sporks. Fight to the death.
>Finally find out the Colonels' secret recipe.
> Can believe it's not better.


There is probably a reason I am not rich. Probably a very good reason.
User avatar #21 to #10 - admiralen (05/19/2013) [-]
but how will you get them to stand still when they get picked of in chess?
User avatar #76 to #10 - phudgepacker (05/19/2013) [-]
*can believe its not butter
#83 to #10 - anon (05/19/2013) [-]
You probably shouldn't nail choir boys.
User avatar #13 - peanutbuttahjellah (05/19/2013) [-]
>Buy a sort of top of the line gaming PC, something that won't need to be upgraded for about 4 years or so
>Laptop as well
>Do some investing
>Give **** loads to charity
>Buy a helicopter
>Smallish house because I will end up living and dying alone
>Cry
User avatar #71 to #13 - sooten (05/19/2013) [-]
Don't worry, friend, there are lots of golddiggers out there if that's any comfort
#80 to #13 - fuckmedia (05/19/2013) [-]
Faggot
User avatar #97 - fredthemilkman (05/19/2013) [-]
>Be rich
>Buy Funnyjunk
>ban everybody
>unban tardaasa and Ray Bingo
User avatar #118 to #97 - swittig (05/19/2013) [-]
tardaasa got banned?
User avatar #120 to #118 - oceanicsss (05/19/2013) [-]
same question ran through my head...
#52 - violentpixi (05/19/2013) [-]
every girl wants neck down alopecia
every girl wants neck down alopecia
#41 - unoletmehavename (05/19/2013) [-]
I would buy a good gaming PC
I would buy a good gaming PC
#102 to #41 - yutdollacwwwthree (05/19/2013) [-]
Computer with a 3 way Titan SLI

7990s I'd be awesome too
#103 to #102 - unoletmehavename (05/19/2013) [-]
How much does it cost ? Both of your kidnies and you firstborn child ?
User avatar #132 to #103 - yutdollacwwwthree (05/19/2013) [-]
And my left nut, but it's worth it. I don't use it anyway
#133 to #132 - unoletmehavename (05/19/2013) [-]
They can take both of mine how things are going it looks like i won't be needing them
#95 - anon (05/19/2013) [-]
r
User avatar #9 - AliceZ (05/19/2013) [-]
Should I become rich:
>Buy a house.
>Furnish said house.
>Buy a car. Nothing fancy, just a regular car.
>Travel a bit.
>Put away rest of money.
>Maybe buy a dog.
#113 - flyingtrees (05/19/2013) [-]
>Open a chain of pet food stores all over the country and it would be called **** Ass Pet ******* .
>Dog food would cost a million dollars for one can, that’s the price, **** you, you don’t like it? **** off, it's **** Ass Pet ******* .
>Nobody will ever, ever spend a dime at **** Ass Pet ******* , but i will keep it open for years and decades and never close, keep expanding like we’re doing great… Open a new one every day next to another one, surround every Starbucks with five **** ass pet ******* all facing each other.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_XiA4U_XsE
#106 - pehtran (05/19/2013) [-]
i love the fact that noone would use their cash to stop war,hunger, poverty, ecc...   
picture semi-related
i love the fact that noone would use their cash to stop war,hunger, poverty, ecc...
picture semi-related
User avatar #121 to #106 - reaperssprint (05/19/2013) [-]
No amount of a single person's money could stop war. Hunger it can fix, but only temporarily unless you use it to help teach those in need how to farm and such. Fixing poverty, again no amount of a single man's wealth can fix that.
#129 to #106 - anon (05/19/2013) [-]
no amount of money can solve any of those problems
User avatar #131 to #106 - drewbridge (05/19/2013) [-]
Because in 20 years there will still be giant amounts of war, poverty and hunger, and no-one will remember what you did.
#107 to #106 - hulonation (05/19/2013) [-]
You do it
#86 - drewbridge (05/19/2013) [-]
If I was rich, I'd invest. Land, stock, interest, etc.    
Keep a faction, buy 20-40 acres, build a house. Buy guns, rare earth minerals and other 			****		.    
   
While you stupid jews spend it on women and video games, my great grandkids will have an extremely bright future, and guaranteed college education if they choose, they'll invest, and then world domination and the new world order success is a sure thing.
If I was rich, I'd invest. Land, stock, interest, etc.
Keep a faction, buy 20-40 acres, build a house. Buy guns, rare earth minerals and other **** .

While you stupid jews spend it on women and video games, my great grandkids will have an extremely bright future, and guaranteed college education if they choose, they'll invest, and then world domination and the new world order success is a sure thing.
+7
#75 - russianbro has deleted their comment [-]
+6
#77 to #75 - russianbro has deleted their comment [-]
+5
#78 to #77 - russianbro has deleted their comment [-]
+5
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+5
#84 to #81 - russianbro has deleted their comment [-]
#85 to #81 - anon (05/19/2013) [-]
faggot
User avatar #35 - calawesome (05/19/2013) [-]
If I was rich I'd do two things.

1) give enough to my mum and the other people I love so that they can live comfortably for the rest of their earthly lives.

2) go to every major city I can and open a homeless hotel type thing. A place sort of like a youth hostel, but for homeless people with a good few thousand beds so that they have somewhere to sleep at night.
#82 to #35 - fuckmedia (05/19/2013) [-]
That's ******* stupid.
#44 to #35 - anon (05/19/2013) [-]
No you wouldn't.
User avatar #45 to #44 - calawesome (05/19/2013) [-]
How the **** would you know?...

If I was rich enough, what would be the point of not doing it?...maybe it wouldn't necessarily be out of my own goodness as a person, but if I have the money, why not?
User avatar #39 to #38 - calawesome (05/19/2013) [-]
huh?
#91 to #39 - northamster (05/19/2013) [-]
I can't believe there are still good people like that out there.
User avatar #14 - deathcampforjewtie (05/19/2013) [-]
>build my dream home(architect as **** )
>pay for my dad's surgery
>hire a black butler
>force him to answer to "Geoffrey" and pretend to be Geoffrey from Fresh Prince 24/7.
>get my Rubicon some new tires and my Golden Knee a new terrarium.
#48 to #14 - crimsondarkness **User deleted account** (05/19/2013) [-]
"black butler"

i dont know why you would call him geoffrey..
#96 - dirtyharrypegs (05/19/2013) [-]
**dirtyharrypegs rolled a random image posted in comment #128 at those fucking usual facebook statuses. **
#94 - SILENCEnight (05/19/2013) [-]
**SILENCEnight rolled a random image posted in comment #3 at Man I love killing things. ** mfw '3% sure eyebrows'
User avatar #112 - imalex (05/19/2013) [-]
i would use all my money to genetically make battletoads, thats all
#57 - playcolt (05/19/2013) [-]
This image has expired
I shave every hair off my body from the chin down every two days, I'm like a naked mole rat with a toupee.
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