3% sure. . when rich the first thing doing Is getting laser hair removal an every inch at my body that isn' t my head yew leek pretty funny without eyea: re' -w 3% sure when rich the first thing doing Is getting laser hair removal an every inch at my body that isn' t head yew leek pretty funny without eyea: re' -w
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3% sure

when rich the first thing doing Is getting laser hair removal
an every inch at my body that isn' t my head
yew leek pretty funny without eyea: re' -we
at least 3% sure that my r en my head
...
+1759
Views: 53685 Submitted: 05/18/2013
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59 comments displayed.
#5 - trojanmannn
Reply +135
(05/19/2013) [-]
I'm bored so I'm gonna make a list of all the things I'd do if I was rich
>Buy Clothes. I have literally nothing I ever wear ever
>Get a maid because I hate doing laundry
>Get the most expensive gaming pc out there
>Buy out EA and make them not be assholes
>Be iron man
>My teeth are sorta crooked and it pisses me off so I'd get the best mouth possible
>I'd buy Emma Stone
>Buy a ******* spyker c12 or an huayra
>Buy funnyjunk
Alright I've exerted that bit of fun.
#7 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
>hire armies to fight WW3 with pool noodles
>fund cure for cancer. keep it and not share it with anyone
>buy faberge eggs for my omelettes
>buy China and use it as my ping pong room
>hire justin beiber to eat all of my poops
>solid ****** gold spaceships
>send people i don't like to siberia where they are forced to suck horse cock
#18 to #7 - appleisland
Reply +29
(05/19/2013) [-]
instead of sending people you don't like to siberia to get horse cock. you could just send them to ABC Amy's Baking Company
#19 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
>Buy 200 pounds of crude plutonium
>Hire an ex-military nucleur scientist
>Bomb a country that you don't like
>Start a WW3

Won't that be grand?
#24 to #5 - xecoq
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
Spyker **** yeah

The Netherlands **** yeah
#31 to #5 - impo **User deleted account**
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
hum...

> Buy some expensive brand name clothes and shoes
> An arsenal would be great
> Invest in human trafficking
> Invest in toilet paper industry
> Invest in park managment, public security
> Candidate for mayor
> repeat and profit

Phew, this was tough and fun!
#59 to #5 - Timmietim
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
the new spyker venator looks awesome,
the interior was beautiful too when i saw it
#64 to #5 - pervertodores
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
you cant be ironman
#65 to #5 - safo
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
**** im so privileged, I own half of your list
#66 to #5 - nightdge
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
I can relate on the gaming pc, but the damm guitar park i would have, ***********
#79 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
You LITERALLY have nothing you ever wear ever? You always walk around naked?
#92 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
you said rich. not rich enough to make bill gates your butler.
#99 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
>Buy out EA and make them not be assholes

HERO AS ****
#110 to #5 - seizure
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
I feel you on the teeth thing bro... It's been affecting my confidence for years.
#23 to #5 - localcatbarber
Reply +2
(05/19/2013) [-]
"> be iron man"
So you are already a genius playboy philanthropist?
#125 to #23 - thekich
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
You aren't?
#16 to #5 - niggerlips
Reply +3
(05/19/2013) [-]
id do
#98 to #5 - doctorrock
Reply +5
(05/19/2013) [-]
But funnyjunk isn't a corporation, it's a dictatorship democracy.
#15 to #5 - tittylovin
+8
has deleted their comment [-]
#10 - coolchalkyxxx
Reply +58
(05/19/2013) [-]
> Buy a yacht, but instead of an anchor hire a team of scuba divers to take the chain to the seafloor and hold it down.
>Hire a boys choir, and sit in the audience as they perform with a blow dart gun picking them off one by one. (bonus points for nailing them as they hit their falsettos)
>Hire Morgan Freeman to follow me around narrating my life.
>Hire a famous top 100 singer to write a romance song about my burps and it has to be totally serious.
>Summon Cthulhu and bring about chaos and destr- oops wrong list.....
>Hire uptight butlers from high society England to take place in a human size chess game in which all players are armed with sporks. Fight to the death.
>Finally find out the Colonels' secret recipe.
> Can believe it's not better.


There is probably a reason I am not rich. Probably a very good reason.
#21 to #10 - admiralen
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
but how will you get them to stand still when they get picked of in chess?
#76 to #10 - phudgepacker
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
*can believe its not butter
#83 to #10 - anon
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
You probably shouldn't nail choir boys.
#53 - manirock
Reply +45
(05/19/2013) [-]
>First become immortal   
>Buy/breed millions of koala bears   
>Equip them with infant-sized military uniforms with cute little helmets   
>Genetically engineer for extreme aggression and thirst for blood   
>Buy brain wash device   
>Convince them I am their general   
>Go to 9 year old's birthday party   
>Release my horde   
>Hire several mexican janitors for cleanup   
>Head back to base   
>Repeat until no humans survive past age 9   
>Make children become fertile at infancy   
>Babies continue to spawn   
>Convince all children I am God and koalas are my angels   
>Beautiful peace for a time   
>Eventually get bored   
>Order koalas to execute all other humans   
>Remove immortality   
>Kill self   
>Allow koalas to live and evolve on their own   
>Planet of the Koalas
>First become immortal
>Buy/breed millions of koala bears
>Equip them with infant-sized military uniforms with cute little helmets
>Genetically engineer for extreme aggression and thirst for blood
>Buy brain wash device
>Convince them I am their general
>Go to 9 year old's birthday party
>Release my horde
>Hire several mexican janitors for cleanup
>Head back to base
>Repeat until no humans survive past age 9
>Make children become fertile at infancy
>Babies continue to spawn
>Convince all children I am God and koalas are my angels
>Beautiful peace for a time
>Eventually get bored
>Order koalas to execute all other humans
>Remove immortality
>Kill self
>Allow koalas to live and evolve on their own
>Planet of the Koalas
#134 to #53 - humans
Reply -1
(05/19/2013) [-]
What did I ever do to deserve this...
#123 to #53 - newmanchamp
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
How the **** do people like you come up with these glorious stories

Well done sir
#69 to #53 - aludin
Reply +1
(05/19/2013) [-]
I wouldn't kill myself. I would just hide and wait for the koalas to evolve and present yourself one day as their god.
#61 to #53 - thefunnyside
Reply +3
(05/19/2013) [-]
#8 - midgetmayhem
Reply +31
(05/19/2013) [-]
what i would do i i am rich:
> Buy a plane
> Buy a tank
> Put tank in the plane
> fly over westboro church
> drop my paylload of death
> then go home and hire mexican strippers to help me study spanish ( It is a good motivator)
#22 to #8 - thelegitsuperfurry
Reply -4
(05/19/2013) [-]
That's a very stupid idea.
#1 - classygentleman
-28
has deleted their comment [-]
#28 to #1 - fcrocker
Reply -1
(05/19/2013) [-]
At least Funnyjunk acknowledges that the content isn't theirs and doesn't feel the need to slap a watermark on it
#34 to #1 - killerliquid
Reply -1
(05/19/2013) [-]
The funny thing in this thread is that usually the blue names complain about reposts and white names usually bitch about the blue name.
#2 to #1 - sketchfactor
Reply +1
(05/19/2013) [-]
Quite complaining, it wont change anything.   
Everything on the internet is a repost.
Quite complaining, it wont change anything.
Everything on the internet is a repost.
#3 to #1 - hueyfreeman
Reply +4
(05/19/2013) [-]
Holy **** man, why don't you go ahead and call the ******* cyber police while you're at it
Holy **** man, why don't you go ahead and call the ******* cyber police while you're at it
#4 to #1 - lorddrake
Reply +28
(05/19/2013) [-]
People are posting this because they find it funny. And they want to share it.

Who care's where it's from.
#13 - peanutbuttahjellah
Reply +23
(05/19/2013) [-]
>Buy a sort of top of the line gaming PC, something that won't need to be upgraded for about 4 years or so
>Laptop as well
>Do some investing
>Give **** loads to charity
>Buy a helicopter
>Smallish house because I will end up living and dying alone
>Cry
#80 to #13 - fuckmedia
Reply -1
(05/19/2013) [-]
Faggot
#71 to #13 - sooten
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
Don't worry, friend, there are lots of golddiggers out there if that's any comfort
#97 - fredthemilkman
Reply +16
(05/19/2013) [-]
>Be rich
>Buy Funnyjunk
>ban everybody
>unban tardaasa and Ray Bingo
#118 to #97 - swittig
Reply +1
(05/19/2013) [-]
tardaasa got banned?
#120 to #118 - oceanicsss
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
same question ran through my head...
#106 - pehtran
Reply +9
(05/19/2013) [-]
i love the fact that noone would use their cash to stop war,hunger, poverty, ecc...   
picture semi-related
i love the fact that noone would use their cash to stop war,hunger, poverty, ecc...
picture semi-related
#121 to #106 - reaperssprint
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
No amount of a single person's money could stop war. Hunger it can fix, but only temporarily unless you use it to help teach those in need how to farm and such. Fixing poverty, again no amount of a single man's wealth can fix that.
#129 to #106 - anon
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
no amount of money can solve any of those problems
#131 to #106 - drewbridge
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
Because in 20 years there will still be giant amounts of war, poverty and hunger, and no-one will remember what you did.
#107 to #106 - hulonation
Reply +7
(05/19/2013) [-]
You do it
#35 - calawesome
Reply +8
(05/19/2013) [-]
If I was rich I'd do two things.

1) give enough to my mum and the other people I love so that they can live comfortably for the rest of their earthly lives.

2) go to every major city I can and open a homeless hotel type thing. A place sort of like a youth hostel, but for homeless people with a good few thousand beds so that they have somewhere to sleep at night.
#82 to #35 - fuckmedia
Reply -1
(05/19/2013) [-]
That's ******* stupid.
#44 to #35 - anon
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
No you wouldn't.
#45 to #44 - calawesome
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
How the **** would you know?...

If I was rich enough, what would be the point of not doing it?...maybe it wouldn't necessarily be out of my own goodness as a person, but if I have the money, why not?
#38 to #35 - northamster
Reply +7
(05/19/2013) [-]
#39 to #38 - calawesome
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
huh?
#91 to #39 - northamster
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
I can't believe there are still good people like that out there.
#41 - unoletmehavename ONLINE
Reply +7
(05/19/2013) [-]
I would buy a good gaming PC
I would buy a good gaming PC
#102 to #41 - yutdollacwwwthree
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
Computer with a 3 way Titan SLI

7990s I'd be awesome too
#103 to #102 - unoletmehavename ONLINE
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
How much does it cost ? Both of your kidnies and you firstborn child ?
#132 to #103 - yutdollacwwwthree
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
And my left nut, but it's worth it. I don't use it anyway
#133 to #132 - unoletmehavename ONLINE
Reply 0
(05/19/2013) [-]
They can take both of mine how things are going it looks like i won't be needing them