McDisasters 22: Jesse, We Need To Cook. Another anecdote from my days as a fry cook at the D. I don't mind OCD people for their cleaning skills out of a fast pa McDisasters 22: Jesse We Need To Cook Another anecdote from my days as a fry cook at the D I don't mind OCD people for their cleaning skills out of fast pa
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McDisasters 22: Jesse, We Need To Cook

McDisasters 22: Jesse, We Need To Cook. Another anecdote from my days as a fry cook at the D. I don't mind OCD people for their cleaning skills out of a fast pa

Another anecdote from my days as a fry cook at the D. I don't mind OCD people for their cleaning skills out of a fast paced environment. But put an alcoholic OCD 26 year old in a McDonald grill, and there's going to be problems. This guy would literally open the freezer to hide his face while he took pulls off his hip flask! He did ok during slow times, but any rush, and his lack of speed became an instant issue. Enjoy the read, Funny Junk! and if you don't like the story, leave a comment and I will give you a thumb anyways!

PART 7 /funny_pictures/4542697/McDisasters+7+Race+Weekend+Madhouse/

PART 8 /funny_pictures/4544444/McDisasters+8+The+Golgothon/

PART 9 /funny_pictures/4546427/McDisasters+9+Decreaser+Death+Cloud/

PART 10 /funny_pictures/4547440/McDisasters+10+The+Ragenadian+Urinal/

PART 11 /funny_pictures/4549438/McDisasters+11+Fellatio+Fun/

PART 12 /funny_pictures/4550919/McDisasters+12+AutoWash/

PART 13 /funny_pictures/4552972/McDisasters+13+The+Birds+and+the+Antz/

PART 14 /funny_pictures/4571052/McDisasters+14+Bus+month/

PART 15 /funny_pictures/4572642/McDisasters+15+Drivethru+not+Walkup/

PART 16 /funny_pictures/4574161/McDisasters+16+Oops+I+Crapped+My+Pants/

PART 17 /funny_pictures/4577568/McDisasters+17+Stoner+Dreds/

PART 18 /funny_pictures/4579456/McDisasters+18+Smokeys+Revenge/

PART 19 /funny_pictures/4580816/McDisasters+19+Dinner+Rush+Mayhem/

PART 20 /funny_pictures/4582475/McDisasters+20+Got+Lucky/


comanderspy and masterchiefawesome honorable mention

knower guy replacing kitty
consists on working grill
ttry to pull rank
ccan' t keep anyone out
kfine, fuck it
like a motherfucker
aalso a raging alcoholic
shrinks on breaks
shrinks in grill
shrinks while drinking
creeps his shit together
kirill is cleanest it has ever been
eeverything is fully stocked
knot a crumb or grease splatter to be seen
sandwich maker
swipes the table after every sandwich
tiimes hurting a little
yhave to force him to cook one day
smaking sandwiches
making meat
strains every burger for 5 seconds before
traying it
wlecome annoyed
yhe' s sneaking sips from a flask when he thinks
i' m not looking
ihope to improve times by making him cook
cook than sandwich maker
twerking at
stropping a little shredded lettuce and some
onions while making one order
knotice he' s itching to wipe down the table
ttell him to concentrate on making meat
skeep working, making sandwiches
ggo to drop buns in toaster
ddude runs over and wipes table down
ddoes not dry it
pstart assembling double cheeseburgers
sticks to the wet table
thears as i try to pull it down
ibun flips over
Ionians, pickle, mustard and ketchup all over
the table
gguy flinches like i took a swing at him
ttell him that' s why we don' t wipe table during
lunch rush
zbrush it all on the floor
gguy flinches again
ttell him to man up
yhe starts saying he' s not feeling well
tthe heat from the grill is making him dizzy and
soco. com
skeep at it for a while
goes even slower
creeps complaining that he' s sick
around like a drunk
astards leaning on the grill
synaps his head back
of puke right on the grill
what the fuck man?! get to the bathroom right
fgets to the table
starns left
into my 3/ 4 full waste can
amother fucker...
stakes the waste can with him to the restroom
stakes 45 minutes in there
ain the intere, i' m left to my table, clean
a grill and still make food for ravenous
shoudl have shut the grill down
said just clean as you go
the frying puke into the grease traps
like a dumpster fire behind a PF Changs
frighting not to add to the pile
aat least none got on the floor
wwould have had to pull out the grill
tthese bitches weigh over 250 lbs
kirill is cleaned, start dropping as much meat as i
crooking and making sandwiches myself
feaster than when i have ocd in the grill
vwhen ocd makes it back to the grill, says sorry
man, something got to me
ttell him to stand at the bun station
yhis least favorite place
scrum's everywhere
twerking furiously while he drops buns
Tories to every crumb that comes out
Finally lose patience
ttell manager to get him out of my grill before i
strangle him
goes to the fry station
ahas a heart attack over the loose salt
dissmissed from fries, sent to the coiner
ccan' t get over the tray liners not being
centered on the trays
yyou gotta be fucking kidding me...
dsent to back cash
mdoing dishes
ddon' t hear from him the rest of the day
bonerman the grill
skeep my times down
tries to come back
relaxe at him until he slinks away
phucker never offered me any whiskey
knever allowed in the grill when i' m working
Views: 85131 Submitted: 05/15/2013
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#58 - enamis
Reply +415 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
I swear to ******* god OP, if the very last chapter of this says "I live in a pineapple under the sea" I will ******* find you, and I will kill you
#182 to #58 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/16/2013) [-]
my god imagine if this whole thing was a set up. oh laurdy
User avatar #210 to #58 - drastronomy
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(05/16/2013) [-]
make it happen, OP

it will be the greatest ********* of our time
User avatar #161 to #58 - ompalomper
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
#77 to #58 - kisushima
Reply +29 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
Jesus H. Christ I have a new worst fear now.   
Pic unrelated..
Jesus H. Christ I have a new worst fear now.

Pic unrelated..
#194 to #77 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/16/2013) [-]
source....for uhh....scientific matters?
User avatar #211 to #194 - chupiter
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/16/2013) [-]
Olivia Wilde on Colbert report i believe.
User avatar #212 to #211 - Ryu
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/16/2013) [-]
Nice avatar
User avatar #214 to #212 - chupiter
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/16/2013) [-]
Thanks. I like yours too!
User avatar #205 to #194 - thedudeistheman
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/16/2013) [-]
Fairly certain it's Olivia Wilde. Go nuts.
#72 to #58 - lordraine
Reply +41 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
I had never even considered that.

But now I want it to happen.
#18 - eatchickendaily
Reply +304 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
[drinks internally]
#160 to #18 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
He always has that one line...
#49 - qazsa
Reply +83 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
What was this cheeky little ****** doing out of place.
#144 to #49 - krizzah
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
OP is clearly hiding something from us.
OP is clearly hiding something from us.
User avatar #56 to #49 - frienderman
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
It's there to annoy people with OCD
#35 - holler
Reply +51 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
ocd at the bun station
ocd at the bun station
#224 to #35 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/17/2013) [-]
#126 - kungfujesusx
Reply +36 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
Petition to change the title to "tales from the Mccrypt"
#233 to #126 - finjin
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/14/2013) [-]
It had better be that is perfect **** to sign.
User avatar #198 to #126 - meganinja
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(05/16/2013) [-]
All in favor say Aye
User avatar #133 to #126 - pivotmasterdm
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
I'd sign that ****
#129 to #126 - hueyfreeman
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
I second this
#137 to #129 - pandacore
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
I third
User avatar #149 to #137 - darkfuzion
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
User avatar #153 to #149 - ddemiddon
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
User avatar #78 - brenton
Reply +34 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
>Former server at Japanese steakhouse
>Pothead cook at the kitchen grill in the back for to-go orders
>Handles 15 meals on one half-sized grill, no problem, speedygonzalez.fotografía
>Smokes on breaks
>Boss catches him, orders random drug testing
>Stops smoking, doesn't want to get fired
>Starts ******* everything up and panicking during Friday dinner rush
>Boss: "What the **** is wrong with you today?"
>Cook: "The weed kept me calm. I can't concentrate like this."
>Boss: "... You are no longer subject to random drug testing."
>Never notice a single mistake again
User avatar #67 - Lambda
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
***** let me get this straight: He puked on the grill, and then you guys just scraped it off and kept cooking burgers on there?
User avatar #76 to #67 - ladyxa
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
my thoughts exactly.
User avatar #79 to #67 - fuckmods
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
well whiskey plus the heat from the grill would have killed any and all germs, still disgusting though
User avatar #124 to #67 - ICEDgrunge
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
that's the secretsauce
#25 - pineapplepeople
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
So I like your stories man, but your getting a little ridiculous with the "statement.joke". It's funny but don't get too redundant. Just my two cents.

PS: never eating Mickey D's again.
User avatar #26 to #25 - sirbrentcoe [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
the nuggets are good
#27 to #26 - pineapplepeople
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
Pink slime?
#70 to #25 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
I know I'm anon, but I just wanted to say that I love the statement.jokes. Keep em going. I think most would agree. You got a thing going there, man. Like, a thing. Don't wreck the thing.
#192 to #70 - pineapplepeople
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(05/16/2013) [-]
I agree they're funny, I was just trying to warn him from getting redundant/excessive, as paradoxical as that may sound.
User avatar #31 to #25 - fuzzysixx
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
#193 to #31 - pineapplepeople
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/16/2013) [-]
See my response to the anon above.
#166 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
This stuff is so made up and ridiculous. There is absolutely no way in which 23 of these events have happened at the same mcdonalds while the OP is workign there.

This kid is probably 15, writing whatever the hell he likes, and y'all are liking it? The comedy is so puerile I feel embarrassed.

Is this what FunnyJunk has come degenerated to? A bunch of 15 year old children?
User avatar #169 to #166 - HarvietheDinkle
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
people like reading stories, fiction or not.

meanwhile, you're wasting your time complaining to make yourself feel better.

Now who's the degenerate?
User avatar #4 - quidmaster
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
Your stories get crazier each time you post them.
I love a good crazy story, keeps me happy.
#47 to #4 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
kiss ass
User avatar #48 to #47 - quidmaster
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
Nah anon.
Your opinion doesn't matter.
How much quid you got mate?
#50 to #48 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
im not british, and it bothers me that the British say quid instead of pounds
User avatar #51 to #50 - quidmaster
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
Anon, if you search Quidmaster on youtube then you will find why I am doing this.
But anyway.
User avatar #7 to #4 - sirbrentcoe [OP]
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
i thought this was one of the tamer ones considering the people blowing the trashcan up like it's a port-a-potty at a construction site...
User avatar #8 to #7 - quidmaster
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(05/15/2013) [-]
Sure, that's the correct word for it!
Anyway, I loved the one with the cheating girl.
How bad was your life, mate?
And how much quid did the store lose after all of this?
Was it over One Hundred Quid, mate?
How about One Hundred Quid and a Penny?
I should stop asking so much questions, but the QUID mate.