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User avatar #17 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
I want to smoke weed, but I don't know anyone I can buy it from. Also, I probably couldn't tell the difference between oregano and weed.
#387 to #17 - chargedpking (05/15/2013) [-]
Just be careful when smoking for your first time. Me and my bud were 15 when we first tried some when we found out his parents were total stoners. They kept their weed hidden it totally obvious places, and me and my friend were starting to take notice. One day, my friend jokingly said "Hey, let's try smoking some of this". I agreed and for the first few times, we didn't really get high... What i mean is, we didn't inhale the smoke so we really didn't get high at all (maybe a little buzz from second hand smoke). Afterwards, we looked up how to actually smoke it (they had a little pipe) and found out we were doing it completely wrong. After some more reading, we thought we were ready, so we got out Doritos and hotdogs and started to smoke. This is the time where it started to go downhill...

We smoked way to much for our first time, around a bowl and a half for me (friend backed out) and a bowl for him. We went back inside and nothing was happening really, but after 10 minutes or so, my mind started to slip. I thought i was going ******* crazy. I started to get mild visuals, even with my eyes open, and when i closed them, i distinctly remember seeing a yellow and purple warp hole type thing with cows flying in them. This wasnt really to bad for me, but my friend started to freak the **** out. He was so paranoid that it was going to last forever, that the high would never wear off. He constantly wanted to be moving around, going up and down stairs (keep in mind this was at 4 in the morning, while his parents were in the same room as us, sleeping.) He started to look up ways on how to get the high to go away faster (none of which worked by the way...). We tried exercising, but that didnt work at all. Eventually, i just layed back down on the couch. It came on as a feeling like i had to yawn, but i knew soon that i had to throw up. I quickly jumped off the couch and ran to the toilet, but didnt throw up. (cont)
User avatar #408 to #387 - ohp (05/15/2013) [-]
Only time I've ever thrown up off of bud was when i took too big of a rip off my 5 foot bong
User avatar #390 to #387 - chargedpking (05/15/2013) [-]
Another funny thing that we did while high; we knew we were supposed to get really hungry, so we tried eating stuff. My friend had a tray of brownies in his fridge, so we got them out and tried to eat some. He didnt want any but i said "I think i'll have one." Immediately after i said that, he put them back into the fridge. It really makes me laugh because i realized that he was so high, he didn't understand what i was saying.

After all of this, it turned out to be bad for me. I read somewhere that weed can cause depression or anxiety if not done right, and i just happened to be one of those unlucky people. I fell into a depression that lasted a week or two. Most days, i ate little or nothing (one day i ate a single french fry and thats it). Eventually, i got on medication which helped me get out of it, but that whole experience really changed me as a person.

Don't let my story scare you haha, weed is pretty damn amazing when you take the right amounts. This one time we played Halo 3 while high. I kept zoning out every 5 minutes or so, but we had hotdogs and Doritos so it was a pretty damn good night.
#374 to #17 - elluboy (05/15/2013) [-]
MFW, I´ve done weed well over 15 times
MFW, I´ve only gotten high 1.5 times
User avatar #409 to #374 - ohp (05/15/2013) [-]
Sounds like you need to buy the stronger stuff man
#327 to #17 - John Cena (05/15/2013) [-]
It's not worth it mate, dulls your mind like a ************ . Spoken from experience.
#368 to #327 - John Cena (05/15/2013) [-]
thats weed duh, the effect is being lazy especially on indica you get locked, but on sativa you have a nice head high and you can do **** , but i prefer indica only negative i can say is that ur memory gets distorted a few days after and ofc smoke is not good for ur lungs besides that your good to go
#187 to #17 - knowstoomuch (05/15/2013) [-]
Weed smells like pepperoni skunk

I know that doesn't make sense, but if you take a wiff and your mind immediately goes to skunk and pizza, you have just smelled weed.
User avatar #174 to #17 - ordernumbernine (05/15/2013) [-]
hey, if you live near woods, that can be an awesome smoking spot. Also, that advice ghostlytaco gave you is spot on. Although, I'd say you should definitely masturbate often after smoking. Weed + Tori Black and some alone time is heaven.
User avatar #107 to #17 - dapianoman (05/14/2013) [-]
#93 to #17 - youcocksmoker (05/14/2013) [-]
If someone hasn't called it call greens
User avatar #90 to #17 - budbrown (05/14/2013) [-]
If you find yourself coughing remember to breath in with your nose and out through your mouth
#68 to #17 - John Cena (05/14/2013) [-]
Adding to ghostlytaco, they may ask if you want mids or 50s, go for mids.


I got 50s and my knees melted together.

It literally felt like my knees melted together.
User avatar #69 to #68 - xjosequeervox (05/14/2013) [-]
Forgot to log in.
User avatar #65 to #17 - gongthehawkeye (05/14/2013) [-]
A kid at my school gets weed every week.
He'll get some for you if you give him the money to. (the guy he gets it from sells it for $10 a baggie or something).

He's a nice guy, he's even offered to get me some for free. Never did take him up on that..probably never will.
User avatar #64 to #17 - sparkajh (05/14/2013) [-]
Lol ghostlytaco is crazy, that could be a list for taking a high dose of lsd. All you need is some green and some friends. Probably some food eventually, other than that don't worry about it.
User avatar #59 to #17 - secretdestroyers (05/14/2013) [-]
Got any friends who smoke weed? Ask them where they got it from. If you're in college, even better, I had like 4-5 dealers at one time back when I got high...
#48 to #17 - John Cena (05/14/2013) [-]
You're a ******* degenerate
#39 to #17 - Jowi (05/14/2013) [-]
It makes me happy that your names is highhopes and you have hopes of getting high! But hey if you live in Cardiff I'll sort you out haha
#56 to #39 - nsfwanon (05/14/2013) [-]
While I don't wish to smoke, it amazes me that I've found someone so close to home haha
#57 to #56 - Jowi (05/14/2013) [-]
Where do you live pal? I come from Brecon but currently study in Cardiff
#58 to #57 - nsfwanon (05/14/2013) [-]
Good ol' Newport haha, so not too far away!
#60 to #58 - Jowi (05/14/2013) [-]
Ah nice one! Well if you're ever in the Capital gimme a buzz haha
User avatar #43 to #39 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
Haha, I didn't realize that
#46 to #43 - Jowi (05/14/2013) [-]
Don't suppose you do live in Cardiff?
User avatar #53 to #46 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
I wish I did now...
#55 to #53 - Jowi (05/14/2013) [-]
Well either way what people are saying is true, just ask a friend! I've been smoking trees for 7 years and I haven't looked back!
User avatar #35 to #17 - aahrg (05/14/2013) [-]
just ask a friend if you can come along with them one time, they'll know what it smells like, so you won't get ****** over.

they also will probably hook you up with a dealer too.
#34 to #17 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#395 to #34 - John Cena (05/15/2013) [-]

I had to try it 5 or 6 times before I actually got a high. First-hand.
#403 to #395 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#393 to #34 - John Cena (05/15/2013) [-]
I eat chocolate all the time when Im stoned..

thats probably why im fat
User avatar #389 to #34 - Faz (05/15/2013) [-]
Most people don't get stoned the first time and getting stoned off the first drag isn't likely.
#371 to #34 - John Cena (05/15/2013) [-]

Agreed on all accounts except number 2. While coughing can hurt your lungs a tad as coughing is want to do. You get buzzed faster and better if you cough
#404 to #371 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#358 to #34 - sjakk has deleted their comment [-]
#326 to #34 - mizzdepp has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #282 to #34 - abstract (05/15/2013) [-]
I've tried smoking twice but didn't really feel anything. Any words of wisdom or advice?
#285 to #282 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #288 to #285 - abstract (05/15/2013) [-]
The first time I took a pretty big hit from a bong and coughed a lot, and the second time my friend told me it was **** and I only took a couple hits. So basically, I ****** everything up.

Another thing... smoking is like a science. A group of stoners teaching a newbie how to use a bong is like watching a group of chemists getting really excited over a demonstration to a student. It's ridiculous in a good way.
#290 to #288 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #293 to #290 - abstract (05/15/2013) [-]
Do you have any advice on edibles? I heard a tip to start with only a small bite, and to work your way through the treat so you don't go over board.
#299 to #293 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #307 to #299 - abstract (05/15/2013) [-]
Thanks so much for the advice. My friend ate two because he was told they were weak but was messed up for 6 hours and had to sleep it off. I was kind of scared to try it, but I'll just take it really easy. Again, thanks for the advice, brochacho.
User avatar #270 to #34 - kibuza ONLINE (05/15/2013) [-]
Holy **** , you make it seem like a bad thing with all those rules.

1) Take a hit
2) Chill
#218 to #34 - kodo (05/15/2013) [-]
all those favourites... so many future junkies on funnyjunk o.o
#300 to #218 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#210 to #34 - John Cena (05/15/2013) [-]
actually is very hard to get high on the first time
#205 to #34 - alexthynoob (05/15/2013) [-]
Advice for getting high the first time?
Do you really think that they'll remember this?
User avatar #164 to #34 - fuckinniggers (05/15/2013) [-]
I have asthma... do you think weed would bother me badly?
#231 to #164 - crackkmonkey (05/15/2013) [-]
You may be able to hold less.... but weed has actually shown to help asthma... not proven but it shouldnt hurt
User avatar #314 to #231 - fuckinniggers (05/15/2013) [-]
Just curious, now what would be a good strain to start with? White widow? jk I know that **** is pretty strong stuff
#398 to #314 - junahi (05/15/2013) [-]
Asthma here, didn't do much for me. Hardest thing was actually to get smoke into my lungs and not just mouth. Since I don't smoke cigarette or anything joint was too slow and hard way so I bought bong which made smoke cool enough so it didn't burn. What I did notice was after smoking little too much for few weeks, like 3-4 days a week or something, I started to notice my asthma go worse, but week or two brake made it go away.
#364 to #314 - sonicserver (05/15/2013) [-]
it doesn't matter what you smoke your first. time. i suggest mids (lower quality weed, typically only $5/gram in most places) simply because they have lower thc content and you won't get super mega high and get freaked out. you'll just get a little high. like easing into it.

if you have asthma, i suggest smoking out of something that will run the smoke through water, so that the smoke will be cooled and not as likely to cause coughing, which you're probably prone to. any bong, bubbler, or vaporizer will do (with a vape being by far the best choice).

enjoy getting stoned. i know i do.
User avatar #157 to #34 - maxismahname (05/15/2013) [-]
dude that honestly sounds awesome
User avatar #129 to #34 - zgbgydug (05/14/2013) [-]
I'm not sure if coughing is bad because it makes you exhale the smoke or it ruins a high or whatever, but holding in a strong cough can be very dangerous. It's alright to hold back a little bit, but if you really need to cough, your body decided that for a reason and you can damage your lungs by holding back that much pressure.

Other than that, I like this advice. Thank you, sir.
#102 to #34 - Dairycow (05/14/2013) [-]
Acting like he's some sort of drug expert, when hes some low life loser, hey i'm sure those skills will look great on your job application by the way.
#234 to #102 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#410 to #234 - Dairycow (05/15/2013) [-]
Matter of fact is that you'r a lowlife scum that lives in your moms basement thinks hes still some cool kid back in high school because he smokes weed, shut the **** up and get a life, maybe go to college you waste of air.
#411 to #410 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #413 to #411 - Dairycow (05/15/2013) [-]
K, say what you want, whatever makes you sleep at night, just know your a loser who makes minimum wage and you're a waste of air.
#189 to #102 - John Cena (05/15/2013) [-]
a school taught drug expert knows what the books tell them. However, even the most casual smoker often has more insight into how marijuana works than that gradutate.
User avatar #83 to #34 - mookiez (05/14/2013) [-]
Do you got any tips on how to make an opiate buzz more enjoyable, or a way to kick it to make it stronger? Or do you just smoke weed?
User avatar #106 to #83 - sandnigglets (05/14/2013) [-]
inject it straight into your heart
User avatar #88 to #83 - frysandaburger (05/14/2013) [-]
Try punching yourself in the balls... the pain releases endorphins that will increase your high without causing any other side effects.
User avatar #82 to #34 - thephantur (05/14/2013) [-]
I have to say burritos are delicious when high.
User avatar #115 to #82 - danniegurl ONLINE (05/14/2013) [-]
i feel like that's the case for everyone. i always hear stoners talking about taco bell being awesome.
User avatar #117 to #115 - thephantur (05/14/2013) [-]
I go to a place called Seoul Taco. It's Korean BBQ flank steak in burritos with fried rice and **** . Delicious.
User avatar #118 to #117 - danniegurl ONLINE (05/14/2013) [-]
that sounds delicious.
User avatar #119 to #118 - thephantur (05/14/2013) [-]
You don't know the half of it. Oh and rasberry smoothies are delicious too.
User avatar #122 to #119 - danniegurl ONLINE (05/14/2013) [-]
well, that sounds good too.
i've never been high though, so...
User avatar #123 to #122 - danniegurl ONLINE (05/14/2013) [-]
and i don't really plan on it.
User avatar #124 to #123 - thephantur (05/14/2013) [-]
That's fine. Not everyone is keen on doing drugs. I just like to smoke once every few months when things get too stressful.
User avatar #127 to #124 - danniegurl ONLINE (05/14/2013) [-]
yeah, i wouldn't have a problem with others doing it if it weren't illegal.
personally, i don't want to smoke anything or do any drugs because 1) my mom smokes cigarettes now and i hate it, and 2) my mom and grandpa both did drugs and regretted it a lot.
User avatar #77 to #34 - lightness (05/14/2013) [-]
I've smoked about 15-20 times now, and most of the times recently I get really ******* stoned, no matter how much it is. I really dont know why, since you seem like an expert can you please explain this to me.
#75 to #34 - John Cena (05/14/2013) [-]
Yeah. "Wisdom" is the word I would've used there....
#61 to #34 - John Cena (05/14/2013) [-]
as for step or tip 11, marijuana makes it so you are less nauseas, UNLESS you swallow the smoke. avoid swallowing the smoke and you will have a great time no matter how much you smoke.
User avatar #50 to #34 - goldenglimmer (05/14/2013) [-]
I love how 1 person favorited this.

Coincidentally, there are now two.
User avatar #219 to #50 - battledude (05/15/2013) [-]
now there are 49 50
#37 to #34 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
Thanks! I think I can handle that part very well. But I'm VERY paranoid when it comes to illegal stuff, that's what I'm afraid of.
User avatar #70 to #37 - pokemonismyhigh (05/14/2013) [-]
The worst that can happen is you get caught with enough for a joint or two, they confiscate it, if you're under 18 they'll call your parents otherwise they'll just give you a warning
#38 to #37 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #40 to #38 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
It is in my country, unfortunately. It's too bad, because I know about the (few) side-effects and everything, and know about all these "terrible" risks I'm taking. I am a very responsible person, it would just have been nice to really relax once in a while while I study. As a nurse, I wouldn't use it, but I think it might help with my motivation at school.

That's also why I haven't asked a random stranger in the bad side of town, because (except from the fact that it is extremely rude, when I think about it) I would get kicked out of school if I got caught.
#95 to #40 - John Cena (05/14/2013) [-]
Where do you happen to live?
User avatar #96 to #95 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
#328 to #96 - John Cena (05/15/2013) [-]
Nordmann here too. Would be cool to try, but suck so bad if I got caught.
#116 to #96 - timtimtimtim (05/14/2013) [-]
Where in norway? I might be able to help you out.

Vestfold here.
User avatar #120 to #116 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
For langt unna
#373 to #120 - moggycore (05/15/2013) [-]
Nordmann her også, Stord.
Jeg anbefaler deg til å vertfall røyke med en kompiss som har røyk før, og som har peiling, første gangen du røyker. Jeg røyker selv, og må si at første gangen var veldig spesiell. Pro-tip; rent sukker smaker fantastisk når du røyker, samme gjør grill-krydder.
Men ja, finn en kompiss som røyker, finn et sted dere kan røyke, sett på noe chill musikk, slapp helt av og nyyyyyt trippen. Men slå av mobil og pc'er før du gjør det, kan være du vil gå online og snakke med folk, og det er ikke lurt da.
#41 to #40 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#209 to #41 - John Cena (05/15/2013) [-]
its things like this that make me so so so so happy that I own my own place and I have a sweet job. Love my life. buy 50 to 100 bucks of weed a week, sit down and smoke once a day like 2 or 3 bowls with my fiance and then we go to bed and then I wake up for work!
User avatar #44 to #41 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
Will do
User avatar #25 to #17 - banditowolf (05/14/2013) [-]
just got through your facebook friends who you trust and ask for a dealers number, or ask them to get you a draw if you pay them.
I'm english, so i don't know if you use the same slang as me.
you can get 10's, which is the usual amount of weed (costs £10 as you may have guessed), about 2 people can get a couple of joints from that

a henry, which is double the 10's

a Q, which is double the henry. the guy below has good info
User avatar #27 to #25 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
User avatar #29 to #27 - banditowolf (05/14/2013) [-]
no problem also, buy plenty of fluids and snacks for your first time, it'll sort of absorb the brunt of the highness if you get me, otherwise you might whitey, where you go all pale and shakey and generally feel like ****
User avatar #30 to #29 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
Well, I have tried it once, although it wasn't that much and I didn't feel any different. Maybe it was the bottle of tequila I had been drinking.

Or maybe I smoked oregano.
User avatar #31 to #30 - banditowolf (05/14/2013) [-]
hahah sounds like oregano to me ;P but yeah, next time you get some weed, check if it has a strong smell and see if the buds are sticky to touch. if yes, then its pretty good grade
#306 to #31 - John Cena (05/15/2013) [-]
The weed being sticky just means it wasn't dried enough, so some water is still in the thrichomes, so, let's say you're buying an 8th, you might be paying for 2 grams of weed and a gram of water. Don't buy water, the nugs should be ;

-Dry. ( Try to split if in half, it tear appart, It'll brake in half , You probably understand. )
- It should have some little powder over it, that's kief, that's your sticky stuff when dry.
- A really strong smell. No need to explain.

That's what a good nug should look like.
User avatar #406 to #306 - banditowolf (05/15/2013) [-]
good to know, ive always got slightly sticky buds that have got me pretty stoned, so ive always assumed sticky means good. thanks for the tip
User avatar #33 to #31 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
Will do! Thanks again!

And yay, I have two friends now!
User avatar #36 to #33 - banditowolf (05/14/2013) [-]
*stoner friends
User avatar #24 to #17 - elenana (05/14/2013) [-]
Silkd road, yo.
User avatar #23 to #17 - onceknownsober (05/14/2013) [-]
And to get it can be hard or easy, depending on where you live
#22 to #17 - onceknownsober (05/14/2013) [-]
Get a stoner friend, that usually gets you on the "right" track. If you dont read following: There are many types of weed, just smell it before buying. Weed usually have a strong very unique smell that you can smell through the plastic bag, if my personal rule is that if you can't smell it through the bag do not buy it. Also In order to avoid buying oregano smell some oregano before going out to buy. The two of them smells nothing a like so you should be able to know if that's what you are buying. You can buy it as shown in the picture, but a good indicator which helps a newbie like yourself is if it looks like a bud (the enclosed picture).
If you are looking for the stuff that makes you mainly tired and lazy I would recommend you trying hash (looks more like clay).
Hope you can use this in case you wanna give it a go.

User avatar #26 to #22 - highhopes (05/14/2013) [-]
Wow, thanks!
#66 to #26 - John Cena (05/14/2013) [-]
[greenish-gray]KILL YOURSELF.:- O: -O[gr eenish-gray]
User avatar #67 to #66 - goldenglimmer (05/14/2013) [-]
Red thumbs everywhere!

Having fun with your proxy, anon? I hope it lights up your presumably sad life at least a little bit! No really, I do : -*
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