Thanks, Jesus. . Christ mime the mind man "My eheh. can yen me?“ And the mind man "Praise he ten the Lord. I am heeled. I can me!“ And an deem tryon the man the i luv cinmon tus

Thanks, Jesus

Christ mime the mind man "My eheh. can yen me?“
And the mind man "Praise he ten the Lord. I am heeled. I can me!“
And an deem tryon the man the ewe and whispered Entry him "But can
yen me why icicle hm the taste of Gin hameh Toast mu haeh?"
The mind man didn' t reply, and deem prt: yessed "Then yen are still mind.“ And
deem tryon heck his vision.
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Submitted: 05/07/2013
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#6 - Forfunaccount (05/07/2013) [+] (4 replies)
Thanks Jupiter.
#4 - sirfisticuffs (05/07/2013) [+] (4 replies)
#7 - batwill **User deleted account** (05/07/2013) [-]
I use this way too much on Jesus posts, but it's too good not to.
#1 - BillyRyan (05/07/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#11 - fluttersquee (05/07/2013) [+] (10 replies)
#53 - Cambro (05/08/2013) [-]
#34 - crosskill ONLINE (05/07/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Angered by Jesus' words and actions, Kellogues then set out on a spiritual journey, only to return years later and find Jesus dead. He was no closer to seeing why kids loved the Cinnamon swirls of deliciousness than he was years ago.

Furious at Jesus and the awesomeness that was Cinnamon Toast Crunch, he was going to create a monster - a monster so grotesque and so distasteful, that kids would scream in terror just by the mere mentioning of its name.

Forged with his hate for kids, and everything their horrors and nightmares were filled with, he had finally created his monster.
But it was not good enough. He needed a final touch. He needed a face. He heard a familiar sound outside in the streets.
"God created us in his image, and so I will create you in mine" he said to himself, drawing the creature that he had just heard outside.

Now this may seem like your usual tale of horror, but this story is very much true.
In fact, the immortal beast is very much alive still. And even to this day, children are still filled with dread everytime they hear the words "Kellogg's corn flakes".
#54 - Cambro (05/08/2013) [-]
And Jesus said to John "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came in 3rd and received a toaster.
#31 - SlowpokeForever (05/07/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Jesus Christ that was unexpected.
User avatar #76 - spamalope ONLINE (05/08/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Wait, this is a religion joke that ISN'T making fun of religion or atheists? This... this... I love this...
#2 - kirkbot ONLINE (05/07/2013) [+] (1 reply)
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User avatar #96 - minecraftbrony **User deleted account** (05/08/2013) [-]
What in Gods name did you just say about the good lord, son of God? i'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Bible studies, and I've been involved in numerous secret prayer services for the sick, and have performed over 300 difrent miracles, I am trained in extended prayer and the top minister in the entire Catholic religion. You are nothing to me but a child of God. I will pray for you with precision the likes of which has never seen before on this Earth, mark my holy words. You think you can get away from speaking blasphemy over the Internet? Think again, my child As we speak. I am contacting my secret network of ruins across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare yourself for the prayer service, the prayer service that sends your soul straight to the good lord. You're truly saved my child. i have access to the entire arsenal of the churches rosaries and i will use it to its full extent to wipe the sins off the face of the continent, you son of God. If you could have known what holy retribution your little "clever" comments was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your blasphemous tongue. But you dint, and now tour being prayed for, my son. I will splash holy water all over you and you will drown in it. You're going to heaven, kiddo
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