Man the fuck up. don't play uno with Mexicans cause they steal the green cards. fuck These tags
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#48 to #3 - linktheherooftime (04/26/2013) [-]
I'll never forget you Spider Bro.
I'll never forget you Spider Bro.
User avatar #5 - corundum (04/25/2013) [-]
90 miles per ******* hour? Jesus man you were lucky the spider wasn't a cop.
#58 to #5 - anon (04/26/2013) [-]
Naw man it's 90 meters per hour
User avatar #40 to #5 - ncharlie (04/26/2013) [-]
little did he know, that spider was in fact, a cop
#12 - luiselvergas (04/26/2013) [-]
>be me in my first year in america
>be mexican born and raised in mexico
> English teacher gives green flash cards
> friend takes one of my green cards
> yell "joseph give me my green card i need it"
User avatar #14 to #12 - BillyRyan (04/26/2013) [-]
You know, I don't even care about your story. Just the fact that you crossed out the name in the comic and crudely wrote "Joseph" on the side is making me crack up so hard right now.
User avatar #15 to #14 - luiselvergas (04/26/2013) [-]
i am a simple man
#35 to #15 - marms (04/26/2013) [-]
I know you're really a mexican beacause of ''el vergas'' HAHAHA

doesnt get any more mexican.

es todo, carnal
#1 - iamtheblackgoat (04/25/2013) [-]
Biggest fear: spiders hiding close to my balls
Biggest fear: spiders hiding close to my balls
#67 to #1 - thepink (04/26/2013) [-]
I don't even have balls and that's still terrifying
I don't even have balls and that's still terrifying
#7 - fireblazing (04/25/2013) [-]
the desc.
the desc.
#4 - sodapops (04/25/2013) [-]
Argh, thanks for reminding me.

2 years ago, before I bought my quad i had a moped. Worked my magic on the carburetor and some other details so it did about 65-70 km/h.
So, one day when I drove it home from work i had the visor of my helmet open because it was a beautiful summer night and everything smelled so good... and
POW a small bird or bat struck me in the ******* face. I panicked like the sissy I am and totally blinded I took my hands from the handlebars and tore my helmet off at a speed of 65. It took me a couple of seconds to cool down enough to actually stop my little bike, then I spat and heaved for like 5 minutes, couldn't get the taste out of my mouth. Stupid me told the wife and kids the next day, and had to deal with their lols, smirks and jokes about angry birds for weeks.

The moral, my friends is... Keep that ******* visor down. Even a small bird feels like a punch in the nose.
#52 to #4 - vinlandknight ONLINE (04/26/2013) [-]
I was just walking from the chicken coop and a bat smacked me in the face and kept going, I didn't know what hit me for a few seconds because it was dark out, that's all I've got.
User avatar #6 to #4 - ctenop (04/25/2013) [-]
I had my jacket unzipped on a hot day, and ran into a ******* wasp going pretty fast. The stinger and poison sack was embedded in my chest. And meh, I hate riding with my visor down, unless going 60, I usually have it open with the sun visor down, or shades on. I've had rocks come flying at me sometimes, luckily smacking just below the opening, or I have the visor up. Knew someone who had a pheasant land on them as they were going along on their scooter as well haha
#8 to #4 - drunkeskimo (04/25/2013) [-]
I killed a mother ******* turkey vulture with my face. Broke my damn collarbone.

Now I have a great way to shut up those "I'm better than you are" ***** in front of bars.
User avatar #37 to #21 - thefuzzywalrus (04/26/2013) [-]
if spiders didnt have venom i would not mind them being on me or near me.... but in reality if i dont know that it has venom or not going close to it for me is like playing russian roulette with a fully loaded gun
User avatar #41 to #37 - goodguygary (04/26/2013) [-]
jumping spiders are okay, as well as the tarantulas, it's the other spiders that creep me out
User avatar #51 to #21 - areialview (04/26/2013) [-]
There is a lot of jumping spiders in my house. They are the reason why my house doesn't have black widows or hobo spiders
#2 - shamrockbandit (04/25/2013) [-]
spider's face when he realized where he was
#23 - CalmChaos (04/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#36 to #23 - thefuzzywalrus (04/26/2013) [-]
FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuck that..... thats a black widow i can tell just by looking at its nasty ass
#42 - foxicon (04/26/2013) [-]
Once, I was jerking it in the shower like always, and right before climax I felt something on my hand.   
mfw it was a spider.   
I still finished
Once, I was jerking it in the shower like always, and right before climax I felt something on my hand.
mfw it was a spider.

I still finished
#60 to #42 - jizzonmypants (04/26/2013) [-]
this explains a lot ...
#17 - studbeefpile (04/26/2013) [-]
"Life is like a mop, sometimes life gets full of dirt, and crud, and bugs and hairballs, and stuff, You gotta clean it out, you gotta put it in here, and rinse it off, and start all over again. And sometimes, life sticks to the floor so bad, a mop is not good enough, you gotta get down there, like, with a toothbrush, ya know, and you gotta really scrub, you gotta get it off, you gotta really try to get it off. But if that doesn't work, you can't give up! You gotta stand right up! You gotta run to a window, and say 'HEY! THESE FLOORS ARE DIRTY AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANY MORE!'. "
#30 to #17 - greatcornholio (04/26/2013) [-]
Thank god someone else knows about this movie.
#31 to #30 - studbeefpile (04/26/2013) [-]
Yeah man, that movie is the bees knees. I'd say it's my favorite comedic film.
#47 - tiriusten (04/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#20 - barrachefvan (04/26/2013) [-]
MFW Description
MFW Description
#9 - kisskisspatd (04/25/2013) [-]
MFW The descrition
MFW The descrition
#62 - evilpotato (04/26/2013) [-]
Only two men have truly faced the devil and live to make a tribute to the experience...
User avatar #65 to #62 - kyrozor ONLINE (04/26/2013) [-]
Also the Winchesters
User avatar #53 to #46 - Residentpudding (04/26/2013) [-]
Not enough armor to get me to do that.
#44 - critique (04/26/2013) [-]
That description...
User avatar #27 - jinjo (04/26/2013) [-]
I just sprayed a spider with water sealant for like 45 seconds, and I've never been happier.
#22 - anon (04/26/2013) [-]
As I read this, a spider was crawling on my bed and now I cant sleep in that room
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