Long but worth it. Probably repost found it on a best of /b/ thread.. File: -( 20 KB, 310x386, HOP story, ipg) e Be 19 Living in my collegedood Doing school thi
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Long but worth it

Long but worth it. Probably repost found it on a best of /b/ thread.. File: -( 20 KB, 310x386, HOP story, ipg) e Be 19 Living in my collegedood Doing school thi

Probably repost found it on a best of /b/ thread.

File: -( 20 KB, 310x386, HOP story, ipg)
e Be 19
Living in my collegedood
Doing school things
Works at HOP
Because college town, be swinging
A group of at guys comes in every night
Three are nice and tip well
Cine asshole
Asshole always gets 6 pancakes.
After 2 months of dealing with them . jpg
Asshole' s outweighs his friends' Likeability
Slowly developing cancer from asshole radiation
e seems like he hasn' t mentally evolved yet
probs bordering tard status
uge muskie's though
instead of going for direct confronts: ion i make a decision
going to slowly and methodically **** his mind
Every night, one pancake gets more in nature
Maybe degrees on a day
Because i introduce the nickcage slowly he doesn' t notice for awhile
I watch happily and giddily as he chokes a cockface down
It begins to be the centerpiece of my day
Definably notices after it is straight up a big honkin' dick
Added whipped cream at the end of the urethra (blueberry)
Feel a storm brewin
I deliver his penor cake one fateful evening
He looks me dead in the face and asks me
Heyy -(deciphers nametag [letters hurt him]) a__ no___ n what is this **** ?"
I don' t know
You better start talking or I' ll talk to your manager"
Manager... Iet us refer to him as C.
C is my best friend.
jpg
I' II go get him for you, faggot, sir."
Sneak in faggot cause feeling extra alpha
e notices, not happy.
Approach C and explain everything. He all of it, every detail
e is in on the conspiracy now
Props to C for his improv work.
e sneaks in about El penis related puns into his talk with asshole.
Paraphrasing , Sir, we don' around back here
My employees aren' t messing with souljunk
That mightiest be a coincidence
You need more evidence than one penis shaped pancake
Other tables overhear and enjoy giggles
DYING in the kitchen
Asshole scowls, pays walks out.
jpg
no way this ************ will come
Justin case, C gets every employee on our shift in on it
Dumb ****** comes back
sitting in different zone to not deal with me
doesnt matter
This was our night to bring so many Gallic references in
An army of workers ready to bring penis into every open conversation
we were armed and ready
Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault
This was the All Harlow' s Eve of cock
All men replaced their nametags with an alias for a peen
Chuck, Dick, Peter, Johnson, and the Asian bashboy? Dong
All men stuffed their frontal pantaloons with things to give noticeable bulge
We plan the assault in waves
Phase I begins
First waiter comes, nametag Johnson
Takes orders, waves bulge in Assholes face
mother. ******* . pancakes.
fooi. jpg
Cue Dick
brings drinks, spills Assholes on himself in the cock region
Furiously cleans it 2 feet from Assholes face
Uproar in the kitchen
Total improv
All of our sides
other tables get ****** service and tips will be slim tonight
worth it
e mo more waves pass
e stands
Silence in the kitchen
e comes into the kitchen
we skitter
C takes over and calms him down
should have been a counselor
Final wave commence
he had seen Dong clean the previous spill and caught wind of the nametags after that
I stroll out
He looks pissed as ****
I hand him not one, but six straight up cocks. No disputing
Bacon pubes, cherry herpes, whipped creampies
My nametag for this evening?
Penis
He rages and punches me cold
Wake up in the hospital
all employees are around my bed
Wake up to applause
Broken nose but oh so worth it
Never see him again
we are known henceforth as IEDC
International House of Cock
...
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Submitted: 04/22/2013
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#6 - teranin (04/22/2013) [-]
>all hallow's eve of cock
>all hallow's eve of cock
#12 - chandaman (04/23/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #11 - paintballgun (04/23/2013) [-]
Glorious man just glorious. Grade A man this is some pretty awesome **** you found man. Just awesome
#8 - mrshrapnel (04/22/2013) [-]
Holy **** this is gold!
#1 - anon (04/22/2013) [-]
I put it to you sir that in fact you are the real asshole, because this man has not tipped you to your satisfaction and or was conducting himself in a rude manor you have taken it apon yourself to make his visits to your store a less than satisfactory experience.
#2 to #1 - kainhall (04/22/2013) [-]
**** off troll. have you ever worded in the food service? he could have ******* jizzed in his food, but that ***** WAY to ****** up.

what i learned from serving people their food... be ******* nice and polite, or they might **** with it. and besides.. i was owrking 20 hour days, friday, saturday, and sunday... and then had school at 7AM the next morning. no social life, just work. assholes get old after a while. this was jsut good fun... the pancake was still ******* delicious (if you like cock shaped things...or are jsut to hungry to care).... back to the point.... people in the food serive work hard and long.

always tip 15% or more, say your please and thanks, and be patient. food service workers have to put up with a LOT of **** .
#4 to #2 - btchpls (04/22/2013) [-]
The above story? Could be fantasy, could be real - who cares? It's all interweb BS

You on the other hand have a deep seated and very misplaced sense of entitlement, there's some weak, even childish deferment as well.

1. I have worked food service, so don't try that "you wouldn't understand" with me.
2. It's the wait staff's job to be "nice and polite" as it's what they're paid to do, aside from carrying food - it's ALL they're paid to do.
3. Customers don't know or care how many hours you work, if you're working too much that's your problem so fix it.
4. "Always tip 15% or more, say your please and thanks" - I'm so ******* sick of halfwit waitstaff thinking they can do a ****** job yet are still entitled to a tip. Get lippy, mess with my food and no tip is the BEST you can hope for.

All that's asked of you is to do the minimum, not even a smile is needed - show up at the table, take the order, ask will that be all, fill the water periodically & bring the ******* food - how damn hard is that?

Sure working food service can be stressful, there's assholes everywhere. Don't for a second mistake it for actual "work" physical or mental, there's a reason so many are ******* drones.
#5 to #4 - kainhall (04/22/2013) [-]
WE HAVE TEH RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE.
i can simply say no. and still get paid to do so.
you say you have worked in the food service... yet you also say my story could be "internet BS".

bottem line.... im not a sheep, im not a push over, and i dont take **** . (unlike you... you passive agressive sheep). if someone is an asshole i will let them know. do i still expect a 15%+ tip... **** no, they probably would have not given me one in the first place.

sence this all could be "internet BS" i worked at the fort peck hotel in Fort Peck, montana. face book my ass....guess where i live. once a customer came in asking if we served lunch, wich we only serve breakfast and dinner. long story short, my boss....linda... basicly shoved her snobby ass out the door. i think that blows your you HAVE to be polite thing out of the water. also, i was polite to her hte whole time, and she still asked to see my maniger/boss.

when i saw always... i ment in situations like my grandmother.... 25 dollar meal, great service, 2 dollar tip. i, knowing the pain and suffering one MIGHT encounter, always throw some more money on the table.

**** it... you have a ****** up outlook their friend..." ******* drones" and all.
#7 to #5 - btchpls (04/22/2013) [-]
"Your story"? That was in reference to the OP   
   
As for the rest of your... response, well I think you've done a better job of illustrating my points than I could have with your disjointed, illiterate ramblings.   
   
Unfortunate as I was hoping for a bit more, debating mandatory "gratuities" as a hidden charge for example, the value of service vs the expatiation of a tip, etc...   
   
No, we get bluster, posturing and threats instead... would you like extra lamesauce with that sir?
"Your story"? That was in reference to the OP

As for the rest of your... response, well I think you've done a better job of illustrating my points than I could have with your disjointed, illiterate ramblings.

Unfortunate as I was hoping for a bit more, debating mandatory "gratuities" as a hidden charge for example, the value of service vs the expatiation of a tip, etc...

No, we get bluster, posturing and threats instead... would you like extra lamesauce with that sir?
#9 to #7 - kainhall (04/23/2013) [-]
threats will be answered with threats. insults will be matched with more insults.

i think we agree on one thing... hidden charges...AKA "tip included in hte price" or that is automaticly taken out is a LOT of ******** .

you make hte point of always...well you dont even have to smile, but give them their **** . however if someone is an asshole for no reason... they are jsut having a bad day and decided to take it out on me... i will (and have) not serve people.

whats my boss think of this? well i learned it from her. we reserve the right to not serve anyone for any reason. you may have seen these signs posted in EVERY bar, resturant, ETC ETC.

your "point number 4"... if im not lippy, i smile, give your coffie the second you get low, food is hot and ******* great... and you still leave only 58 cents....

thats what im talking about.

also, you have to be a polite customer as well. you cant expect (or mabey you do) that if your a total cunt, that the "halfwit wiatstaff" HAS TO BE POLITE. even if i am, the tip is going to be small, simply becaue the customer is a cunt.

happy people leave bigger tips, cunts leave nothing.

you also are talking from a point of a view of either a boss, or a very grumpy customer. im talking you actually had to be the new guy...i washed dishes, mop floors, did general repairs, painted, cut wood, took out the trash, set up for dinner crew (they never set up for breakfast, but im jsut nice) and then usually end up working dinner crew, or bar tending....

and if you think i hate my job your DEAD ******* WRONG. every job i have worked (working a biat shop, cunstruction ETC) people ******* love me.

just noticved this.. you contradiced you self. YOUR PAID TO SMILE... and then you go on to say you dont have to smile, just give the food.

idk man...still really worried about your outlook on the whole drones thing. come eat at the fort peck hotel this summer. spend a day at the lake and take a break.
#13 to #2 - anon (04/23/2013) [-]
I wouldn't tip 15% if the waiter polished my ******* shoes. It's ridiculous that you would expect me to pay 15% more because you are doing what you are paid for. I genuinely hate restaurants that forces me to pay tips, as in worked in to the bill. It ruins the concept of good waitership.
User avatar #15 to #13 - Crusader (04/23/2013) [-]
TIPS
To
Insure
Prompt
Service
Tipping is a bribe, if you are a good tipper, you will receive better service and make the whole experience better.
If you don't want to pay for tips, either cook and serve your own food or go to a fast food restaurant.
#16 to #13 - kainhall (04/23/2013) [-]
most tiped workers are paid under minium wage (7.65 or soem **** here) and the tip money has to make up for it. at the end of the day.. your normal wages + tips has to equal at least 7.65 an hour.... or else your boss HAS to pay you in cash.

problem is.... they never do, and its very hard to prove your case to the law.
#14 - Crusader (04/23/2013) [-]
I lost it at "dick around"
I lost it at "dick around"
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