Your dirtiest joke. common description. Total: MBP. gnu: dirtiest julie an 'T:.' nie pizzahut.. 1.Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. 2.Q.When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? A.When he is standing next to your miss saying useless tags
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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#1 - nehm
Reply +184 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
That's harsh.
That's harsh.
#273 to #1 - anon id: a398f90f
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
source?
User avatar #278 to #1 - likeallthecomments
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
this is by far the most nasty gif i have ever seen.
#325 to #1 - rustyoldrainbow
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
da fuq is that gif from
da fuq is that gif from
#338 to #1 - clockworkhearts
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
#110 to #1 - shamrockbandit
Reply +35 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
her face at the end
#8 to #1 - niblowpizza
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
what is this gif from? holy hell of sources i must know. please.
User avatar #9 to #8 - TheLastEFG
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
paprika
#153 to #9 - niblowpizza
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
thanks to all. ^_^ can't wait
#123 to #1 - anon id: 71c02827
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
What the ****?? What is this gif from??
User avatar #262 to #123 - ryuuk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
#30 to #1 - ettne
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
User avatar #210 to #1 - sippay
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
This was one trippy-ass movie.
User avatar #238 to #210 - ryuuyoru
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Correction: This was one trippy ass-movie.
#14 to #1 - waffies
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
to niblowpizza, cakefaceify, and warofdawn, i say that Paprika is an excellent ********, but if mindgames and insanity arent your thing, don't watch
to niblowpizza, cakefaceify, and warofdawn, i say that Paprika is an excellent ********, but if mindgames and insanity arent your thing, don't watch
#341 to #14 - cakefaceify
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#33 to #1 - gobnick
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
#83 to #1 - studbeefpile
Reply +22 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #63 to #1 - mlpokeyuan
Reply +23 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
at first, i was like: "Gon' fap to this."
but then i was like: "Nope"
#318 to #63 - azinfoo
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Amateur.
User avatar #336 to #63 - hokeymon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
The gif is cut. after this scene inside of the other skin is a naked woman in the movie. They also showed her tits and she's sexy as ****.
User avatar #353 to #336 - mlpokeyuan
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/23/2013) [-]
I'm going to trust you. Do you have the sauce?
User avatar #356 to #353 - hokeymon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/23/2013) [-]
"Paprika" ******** anime movie.
#239 to #1 - anon id: 45bad952
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Sauce?
#124 to #1 - anon id: 5c6d395c
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
MY GLASSES! I CANT SEE WITHOUT MY GLASSBLAAEINHKML7qFNIOKJLK
#207 to #1 - meatballsandwhich
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
the **** yo
#16 to #1 - anon id: bd51e8d3
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
what the hell is that from?
#206 to #1 - meatballsandwhich
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
the ****
#3 to #1 - warofdawn
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
what is this gif from
User avatar #10 to #3 - TheLastEFG
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
paprika
#345 to #1 - enlil
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#4 to #1 - cakefaceify
Reply +291 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
#295 to #4 - anon id: d266fa66
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Asians hide their mind reading abilities by having completely expressionless faces so they don't accidently show facial expressions when people think things they don't like, find funny, astonishing, etc, and Asians segregate so their not nearly as susceptible to that happening.
Asians also segregate, and are untaltative to avoid accidently saying things that are similar to what people are thinking and going to say.

All Asians are keeping their mind reading abilities a secret, they don't want ANYBODY to know that they can read minds, they will never seriously admit that they can read minds!

Try thinking, and visualy picturing things in your mind that are as wild as you can when you are around Asians, and look for Asians who give people dirty/particlar looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.

PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!! THE WORLD NEEDS TO FIND THIS OUT!!!!!
User avatar #15 - tastycrisps
Reply +285 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
1.Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
2.Q.When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? A.When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice
3.Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!
4.Q. What do you call a book club that has been absolutely obsessed with the same book for the past 100 years? A: Church
5.Q: What do u call a bunny with a bent dick? A: ***** FUNNY
6.Q: What’s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo? A: A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe
7.Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
8.Q: How do you kill a retard? A: Give him a knife and say "Who's special?"
9.Q: How do you get tickets to the Tampon 100? A: Pull some strings
10.Q: Why can't Jesus eat m&m's? A: Because he has holes in his hands.
11.Q: Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheelchair
12.Q: How do you get retards out of a tree? A: Wave to them!
13.Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
14.Q: What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times? A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
15.Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? A: They named him Sum Ting Wong.
16.Q: Why don't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is
17.Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his ass.
18.Q: Why was the African American girl quiet during the movie? A: She wasn't.
19.Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A: It scares the **** out of their dogs!
20. Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? A: It depends on how hard you throw them
#39 to #15 - slashendrix
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
Number 5 got me.
#122 to #15 - sweateagle
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
16Q
16Q
User avatar #211 to #15 - dehfurk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
You... I like you... in a not-so-questionable way.
User avatar #344 to #15 - greenwithenvy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
I haven't heard the knife retard one in so long. the pure nostalgia alone is amazing, but our perception of retards today doesn't have them doing that arm motion anymore :(


how do chinese parents name their kids? they drop the silverware.
User avatar #62 to #15 - awesomerunner
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Wow my favorites then thumbs either assholes thumbing you down or people forgot to thumb
User avatar #313 to #15 - nrhv
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
i find that jokes are ruined as soon as you put an ! at the end
User avatar #331 to #15 - yutdollacwwwthree
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Someone fell in the mud
User avatar #306 to #15 - kungfootittys
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
How do you make a gay man **** a Woman? **** in her Cunt.
#339 to #15 - htmm
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Q: There is an African American and a Hispanic in a car, who's driving?
A: The cop
User avatar #354 to #339 - tastycrisps
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/23/2013) [-]
Telling a racists joke and using politically correct terms?
#357 to #354 - htmm
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/23/2013) [-]
That's how I role.
#315 to #15 - drlolpranks
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Q: What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

A: A quadriplegic after a house fire
User avatar #87 to #15 - virginmaker
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
#15 got me. I dealt with a customer named "Sum Wong" in a call center. After I talked to her I couldn't stop hoping that her middle name was "Ting"
#59 to #15 - trentsteelflex
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Q. What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
User avatar #244 to #59 - ryuuyoru
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Q: What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?

A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
#343 to #244 - anon id: fc62054e
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Brian the dawg/ DEW U REALLT THINK HER LOA FROM WORK/ CHASE CARS; SHES A CUNT WHO PLANNED THIS . YOU'RE 50 BIRTHDAY/ SUN/ NANAMES USED/ KELLY SAW U/ KAREN SAW U/ PEG SAW U? MY PHONE CUTS OYT IN CARBWE R TESTING NOW/ THANKS/ ADT ALSO / SADLY SHE SET U P OP/ U TRUE LOVE/ WHAT US THAT PICKLES??
User avatar #32 to #15 - Blarge **User deleted account**
Reply +35 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
how do you find a blind guy in a nudist colony... it aint hard
#131 - budbrown
Reply +55 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
I never got to suck my dad's dick
#279 to #131 - dcdt
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#154 to #131 - shinypokemans
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Then he never loved you.
#137 to #131 - johnnyafire
Reply +123 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
You can now.
#151 to #137 - koalasonfire
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
You need more thumbs cause that made me crack up.
You need more thumbs cause that made me crack up.
User avatar #165 to #137 - hammerfell
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
I'm sure his dad's dying of laughter at that one.
User avatar #166 to #165 - hammerfell
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
He might even be rolling over in his grave.
User avatar #42 - Dap
Reply +66 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
Not that dirty, but funny:

A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he'd better buy her a little something to keep her occupied while he was gone. He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter.

He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except---" and he stopped.

"Except what?" the man asked.

"Nothing, nothing."

"C'mon, tell me! I need something!"

"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis."


"So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?" he asked.

The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo.
User avatar #43 to #42 - Dap
Reply +51 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo.

The businessman laughed, and said, "Big damn deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"


The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said, "Voodoo Penis, the door."

The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle.

Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box!"

The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiet once more.

"I'll take it!" said the businessman.


The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo Penis, my crotch."
User avatar #44 to #43 - Dap
Reply +89 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny and remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said "Voodoo Penis, my crotch!"

The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three mind- shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off.


Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road.

A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I haven't had anything to drink, officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won’t stop screwing me!"

The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right... Voodoo Penis, my ass."
#307 to #44 - DivideZeroForFun
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Holy crap i have not heard this joke in a very long time. Thank you so much for reminding me of this, thumb for you good sir.
#72 to #44 - anon id: 778f7bb7
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
now put that on a pizza box
#65 to #44 - anon id: 25fc9b78
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
10/10 would read again
#82 to #65 - bighairyfart
Reply +23 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Cop's FW
#266 to #82 - potatonuggets **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #2 - nicopwnz
Reply +74 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wiped his ass.

#185 to #2 - anon id: 4f8576cb
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
63
#17 - Jabberwocky
Reply +50 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
What do you do when you're daughter tells you she's been raped by Spider-Man?   
   
Move on to the Batman costume.
What do you do when you're daughter tells you she's been raped by Spider-Man?

Move on to the Batman costume.
#79 to #17 - epicburana
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
#148 - Sinless
Reply +40 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
What do you do if you're in the woods and you come across a crying girl with broken legs who says she's been raped?   
   
Check my map, clearly I'm walking in circles.
What do you do if you're in the woods and you come across a crying girl with broken legs who says she's been raped?

Check my map, clearly I'm walking in circles.
#156 to #148 - areialview
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
User avatar #149 to #148 - koalasonfire
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
Round 2?
User avatar #171 - thissucksbiteme
Reply +32 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
guy in vegas wins the jackpot over 2 million bucks, incredibly horny and alone he walks outside looking for a hooker. he goes down a the strip and see's this drop-dead-sexy hooker standing on the corner, pulls up to her asks how much for a hand job.
"1500 bucks"
"holy **** what a rip off"
"you see that strip joint there i bought that with the money i made from handjobs. im the best in town."
"well if you could afford that you got to be good ok get in"
few minutes later after the best handjob in his life he thinks damn if a handjob was that good what about getting head
"so how much for a blowjob"
"7500 bucks"
"no ******* way am i paying 7500 for head"
"see that car dealership there i bought that with the money i made from giving head, absolute best in town."
"**** if you did that ok lets go"
few minutes later after the best blowjob of his life he says
"damn that was great ok how much to go all the way"
"you see that casino there"
"yeah"
"if i had a vagina i would own it"
User avatar #23 - imthehybrid
Reply +31 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
Although everyone has a different sense of humor, I find these pretty humorous.

Q: How do you starve a black man?
A: hide his foodstamps under his workboots.

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A pedophile.

Q: What is red and crawls up your leg?
A: A homesick abortion.
#31 to #23 - anon id: e9a2e86d
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
more like how do yo starve an indian
User avatar #34 to #23 - vorigito
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
Q: What's long and black?
A: An Unemployment line.
#28 - timmyyocum
Reply +25 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
Whats the worst part about killing a baby?   
Getting blood on your clown suit
Whats the worst part about killing a baby?
Getting blood on your clown suit
User avatar #160 to #28 - bannon
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
What's the funniest thing about killing that same baby?
Watching its family break down in court
User avatar #36 to #28 - hipsophobadon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/21/2013) [-]
What's worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? One alive at the bottom.
What's worse than that? It having to eat its way out.
What's worse than that? It coming back for seconds.
User avatar #298 to #28 - skrewbacca
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(04/22/2013) [-]
I love this gif. Thats exacty how the audience looks like when you tell these jokes to others.