This may or may not be a clever title. . File: 1 -(39 KB, 493x537, Holy- Fa on schiller. jpg) Anonymous (ID: ) trl/ years in the future There are time machines  These tags are being used correctly wait nvm

This may or may not be a clever title

File: 1 -(39 KB, 493x537, Holy- Fa on schiller. jpg)
Anonymous (ID: ) trl/
years in the future
There are time machines
Alternate tim elm e, Jesus never existed, neither
did Christianity
eventually died off EX cept for some
select peaces in Israel.
slime dude reads the Jewish prophesies and
decides to go back in time and **** with
we uses the time machine and goes back to
around 5 BC.
swings his pregnant girlfriend
Tells everyone she' s a virgin
selten the baby is born, he shoots a flare up into the sky
swiss men think it' s a star, come to the barn where they landed.
allude puts the baby in the pigs food because he doesn' t know any better.
sober" the baby turns about 20, he sends him back to his time.
L. sses future techniques to make himself look like his son
Becomes Jesus.
***** with people' s minds until he gets arrested.
L. sses cloning to create another of him, so he doesn' t die
Ah: Mmes back and teleports into the cave.
Teleports into the room with the disciples.
selten he' s done, says he' s going to be with God, just heads back to his own time
oreoes that the world sucks with Christianity, too much war and ****
Tries to go back and stop himself by killing the Jewish prophets.
mice ' t realize his time machine only has half power
nly goes to the 192 Os.
Shaves him mustache to fit in
in the ms after he can' t get back, and becomes a German artist
rejected from art school
pissed, becomes a politician
acreages the Nazi party
Iremember his goal to kill the Jews
Tries to kill them all and take over the world, but gets trapped
bout to be captured in a warehouse, gives up
Pulis out so me teeth to throw them off the track
back to his own time on his fixed time machine.
You win.
what did ijust read
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Submitted: 04/21/2013
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User avatar #5 - schmitty (04/21/2013) [-]
>goes back with pregnant girlfriend to around 5 BC
I was unaware that in the future the gestation period for a human went from about 9 months to 5 years.
#7 to #5 - donthedon (04/21/2013) [-]
This is due to the fact that Jesus was not in fact born on A.D. "Ano Domini "
User avatar #8 to #5 - crampypmarc (04/21/2013) [-]
also why is there BC-AD if there wasn't anyone who marked that period?

On second thought...I can't believe I never actually thought about this before... Why did yearcount started with Jesus anyway?! Did someone say "Wow, man, that Jesus guy is so amazing, we should start counting years now!
User avatar #10 to #8 - kyomaru (04/22/2013) [-]
I think that has to do with the Gregorian calendar, if I'm not mistaken. It's based (loosely) off of Jesus's life, and was just incorporated into everything. I think that's how it goes. Correct me if I'm wrong.
User avatar #11 to #10 - crampypmarc (04/22/2013) [-]
Yeah, I thought about that too. It still bothers me why nobody was counting years prior of that or if they did why did they go "Oh, let's count from beginning now!"
User avatar #12 to #11 - kyomaru (04/22/2013) [-]
Written history has only been around for so long, but there have been other calendars throughout history. But, many of them either died out, or were incorporated into the "new" one that we all use. Just look at the Chinese, and their new year. This year, it started on the 10th of February, and ends on the 30th of January. But, this would have been their year.
#17 - anon (04/22/2013) [-]
#9 - shaddz ONLINE (04/22/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#15 - djequalizee (04/22/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #19 - thefortysecond (04/22/2013) [-]
so you're saying hitler was jesus?
#26 to #19 - anon (04/22/2013) [-]
User avatar #4 - grrphc (04/21/2013) [-]
Dear lord, sure is cOLD up in here.
#2 - sabat **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#28 to #2 - anINTENSEginger (04/22/2013) [-]
He was born in it, molded by it
User avatar #3 to #2 - bensho (04/21/2013) [-]
He didn't create the German Worker's Party, but he changed the name to the Nazi Party.
#18 to #3 - gorginhanson (04/22/2013) [-]
created, renamed

same difference

#1 - anon (04/21/2013) [-]
It worked!
#35 - anon (05/04/2013) [-]
You are assuming the time traveling per year takes up power at a constant rate. You are not factoring the energy start up cost of "rippling" time. Once the time continuum has been rippled initially the energy cost after that should not be nearly as costly. Not to mention half power doesn't mean exactly half it is just an easy/convenient story mechanic to mean the machine didn't have enough power thus lies the conflict. Can't take the half too literally. Your reasoning is just as flawed as the story.
#25 - fadfasdfasdfasdfas (04/22/2013) [-]
He started 4000 years in the future so it was approx. the year 6000. With his time machine at half power trying to go 6000 years, he would have ended up 3000 years before his time. He ended up roughly in the year 3000. this story is flawed. Jews survive.
#13 - themastertroller has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #14 to #13 - remsaman (04/22/2013) [-]
BC, or BCE, is referred to as 'before current era' in historical non-religious terms.

yes master troller, the universe would still exist without jesus.
#20 to #14 - bokkos has deleted their comment [-]
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