Hungry God. . when i was 5 i asked my men’: why "some people were Colo's" and she said ‘Ema god wanted kats of levers‘ and let me tell you that was the wrong th

Hungry God

when i was 5 i asked my men’: why "some people were
Colo's" and she said ‘Ema god wanted kats of levers‘ and let me tell
you that was the wrong thing to say because for the next 3 years i thought
god ate people when they died
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Submitted: 04/13/2013
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#4 - lieutenantshitface **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #38 to #4 - Greengreda (04/14/2013) [-]
I thought that space ships had to fly past the stars like they were tiny little baseball sized stars freaking everywhere
User avatar #95 to #4 - kikichu (04/14/2013) [-]
I was a flower girl when I was about 4 for my moms friends wedding, and I thought that they were making me get married, because I was in a white dress and had roses. I balled and 'Refused to get married to my brother.'
#43 to #4 - lamarisagoodname (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to shampoo my shoulders because I misunderstood the label
I used to shampoo my shoulders because I misunderstood the label
#45 to #43 - lieutenantshitface **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #89 to #43 - Metroli (04/14/2013) [-]
And I thought I was the only one
#140 to #4 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
when i was a little kid, i watched batman & robin. since then i have poison ivy fetish, i imagine built a nest with her using pillow and blanket.
User avatar #116 to #4 - kgfsjholis (04/14/2013) [-]
When I was little, and saw my first black and white TV show and my mom said "thats what everything looked like back when mommy was a kid". I thought life was literally in black and white before the 70's and somehow before I was born they made it colorful. (Sorry if the grammar is off, I'm high as **** as i type this.)
#69 to #4 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
when i was little i used to call pizza crust pizza bones i don't know kinda related but i agree we should
User avatar #101 to #69 - RamzaBeoulve (04/14/2013) [-]
My nieces, nephews, and second cousins (all under the age of 10) do the same thing.
#41 to #4 - subcelestial (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that bears lived under toilets, and ate **** to survive. If nobody were to **** , they would die.

Pic related.
#25 to #4 - plasmodesmata (04/14/2013) [-]
I thought that "several" was another word for seven
#34 to #4 - angelleney (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that if you touched fire you would instantly die, like full on ragdoll effect die if you poked a flame.
User avatar #58 to #4 - foelkera ONLINE (04/14/2013) [-]
When I was about 5 around easter my aunt told me that Jesus was coming down from heaven and I legitimately thought that Jesus would be staying with my family for a few days
User avatar #74 to #4 - aussiepridevil (04/14/2013) [-]
when i was a wee little child, i pointed out a (i thought) rather fat lady in the shops, being 6 years old i didn't realize the women wasn't fat, just very pregnant, my father told me, rather poorly "she isn't fat, women who are big like that are pregnant", so a short time later i started school and asked my fat teacher when the baby was coming.

**** you dad and your bollocks way of explaining things.
User avatar #40 to #4 - mlpokeyuan ONLINE (04/14/2013) [-]
I thought that the process of baby making went like this: 2 people kiss, the DNA in their spit combines to make baby DNA, and whoever has the largest belly button gives birth.

I told my best friend this in 4th grade, and he believed me. We got a glass and put our spit in it, then shook it (to simulate tongue friction) to start the process. We both wanted little brothers and that was as close as got. When that was taking too long, we pissed in the toilet and flushed our combined piss DNA down the toilet to be sent to the nursery. They were supposed to ship it back after they put everything together.
User avatar #68 to #40 - zorororonoa (04/14/2013) [-]
That has got to be the most hilarious description of birth ever
User avatar #71 to #68 - mlpokeyuan ONLINE (04/14/2013) [-]
I also thought that eating baby food would turn you into a baby if you ate enough of it. I was freaking out when my mom would eat banana baby food instead of giving it to my sister.
User avatar #48 to #40 - mlpokeyuan ONLINE (04/14/2013) [-]
I also thought that movies/TV shows were real events that happened somewhere and there were invisible cameramen to get the angle shots. That's why I wanted to be a camera man when I was a kid. Hollywood had teleporters to different places on Earth, and that's why Hollywood is famous.
User avatar #47 to #40 - danniegurl (04/14/2013) [-]
i thought that sex was people making out naked.
User avatar #99 to #47 - Nanico ONLINE (04/14/2013) [-]
I'll never forget, when I was a kid.... We had a porn channel on our cable...
User avatar #106 to #40 - contaminatedwin (04/14/2013) [-]
I thought the babies just appeared in the mothers stomach when you got married and at some point in the night, after an elapsed amount of time, the baby would crawl up the mothers throat, out her mouth and when you woke up, there was a baby.
User avatar #17 to #4 - samsaysbai ONLINE (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that the people that die in a movie were just people who were suicidal and the movies would let them die
#77 to #17 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to believe that when people kissed in movies and tv that it was an optical illusion or special effects of some kind to make it seem like they were kissing because I knew that the actors weren't in love in real life and I didn't think anyone kissed unless they were in love.
User avatar #5 to #4 - charitar (04/13/2013) [-]
I have a couple.

After learning the Star-Spangled Banner, I thought "dawnserly" was an adjective.
By the dawnserly light.

Also, I thought my dog was dead. That doesn't seem very silly, but keep reading. When I was about seven, my dog, Owen, started pooping blood, and we didn't know what was wrong with him. My parents took him to the vet, and they didn't come back with Owen. They told me that the rawhide bones we had given him had torn up his stomach, and he died. I was mortified.
Anyway, we soon moved away, and after a while I got over the death of, but every once in a while I would remember him, and say to my parents, "Remember Owen? I can't believe he died like that. We are never giving any of our dogs rawhide bones again." Every time, my parents would look so sad.
Then, when I was sixteen or seventeen, my parents told me that Owen never really died. His insides really did get torn up by the rawhide, but he got better. Turns out, we couldn't take Owen with us when we moved, and so they gave him away to some gay guy who loved him. They couldn't bear to tell me that they had given Owen away, so they told me a little white lie. For years afterward, they were tormented by my bouts of "Remember Owen," and they decided never to lie to me again.
User avatar #6 to #5 - TastyBurger (04/13/2013) [-]
So instead of telling you that your dog moved to a happy home where he'll be taken care of, they just told you he was dead?
#8 to #5 - lieutenantshitface **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#30 to #5 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
I would be pissed as hell if my parents did that to me. **** .
#126 to #5 - jellymadofficer (04/14/2013) [-]
well... when I was little, my parents told me that my dog went out to get ice-cream and that he's never coming back.

Thinking about it now makes me choke back tears as well as feel a liiittle like a tard for not questioning it sooner. I loved that ******* dog.
#135 to #5 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
I had the excact oposite. When i was a wee lad I had a dog named Beethoven. He was kind of a agressive dog, attacked me and my brother, but we still loved him. My parents told me that they gave him away to a old man, who had a farm and that Beethoven was really happy there. When i was like 18 i asked about it from my mother and she started crying. It turns out, that my father actually shot the dog in our summer homes back yard, because they couldn't keep the dog, since it was always attacking me and my brother.
User avatar #53 to #4 - danniegurl (04/14/2013) [-]
one last thing. those little electric cars? i always wanted one and i thought "if i had one of those, i'd drive to disney world!"
User avatar #118 to #4 - xandeinerseitex (04/14/2013) [-]
I knew people got naked to make babies, but I didn't know how. I thought a man and a woman just slept naked next to one another and a baby would happen.
User avatar #20 to #4 - lolokoko **User deleted account** (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that chocolate milk came from brown cows and skim milk from thin cows.

Left me confused as hell when trying to figure out where strawberry milk came from.
#64 to #20 - theuglypanda (04/14/2013) [-]
This image has expired
Red cows, where do you think? I tell you what, some people are so thick headed
#113 to #4 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think it was okay to marry your immediate family members. This was because I read a lot of old testament from the Bible as a kid and they had lots of incest in it.
User avatar #15 to #4 - SirSheepy (04/13/2013) [-]
I thought that the AI in video games were actually people playing with me and playing depending on the difficulty is set
User avatar #128 to #4 - atlantus (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that **** was stored in our butt cheeks and I used to freak out when someone kicked my ass because I thought I'd **** myself.
#150 to #128 - coolcalx (04/14/2013) [-]
how often did people kick your ass?
how often did people kick your ass?
User avatar #153 to #150 - atlantus (04/14/2013) [-]
kindergarten was rough...
User avatar #65 to #4 - thesovereigngrave (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that the blinker lights on a car automatically turned on, and that the car knew which way you were going to turn.
User avatar #145 to #4 - CrazyWhiteGurl (04/14/2013) [-]
When I was 5 I used to freak out when my family would drive at night because I thought the moon was following us.

Also, I thought foxes were the result of a dog and a cat having babies (I was really weird)
User avatar #19 to #4 - padfoott (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that all girls had babies inside of them and when you were a young-adult you would give birth.
I also used to think that if you pushed really hard while you were on the toilet (at any age) a very very tiny baby would come out.
#133 to #4 - niemals (04/14/2013) [-]
as a child I thought there was just one possible direction you would be able to walk stairs.

so I walked down as anyone else & at the end of kindergarden I just went backwards up again
User avatar #88 to #4 - guymandude (04/14/2013) [-]
When I was 5, my grandmother and grandfather were living in our house. My grandmother went to the library pretty much every other day, because she really liked to read. Each day, before she left, I would run up to her and ask where she was going. She would always respond "Oh, just going to visit library real quick honey." Thing is, my grandmother has a very thick accent, and it always sounded like she was saying that she wanted to go visit the Live-berry.

For years I thought that there was a giant ******* sentient strawberry rampaging through the town handing out books and was friends with my grandmother. So you could imagine my disappointment when she finally decides to bring me and it's just a ******* building.
#11 to #4 - lieutenantshitface **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #82 to #4 - coolcalx (04/14/2013) [-]
Reading Rainbow told me that milk came from cows, but chocolate milk doesn't come from brown cows.

I interpreted this as "there's no such thing as a brown cow" and I adamantly defended this belief for several years.
User avatar #56 to #4 - banditmuffin (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think god was Captain Planet.

User avatar #66 to #4 - zorororonoa (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that there were little people inside of everyone that controlled out vital functions. For example, when someone swallows something. I though there was a little person operating the throat valve to let the food slide down.
User avatar #132 to #66 - timeparadox (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think when you eat something it falls in your belly which is basically an empty space (imagine your body without organs) but there is a stick with a mouth pointing out inside the belly and he eats everything you ate.
#85 to #4 - thebeatlesfan (04/14/2013) [-]
When I watched old movies, I thought that paint hadn't been invented yet and that's why everything was black and white.
Also, when I watched American football, I thought that after every play, somebody would come and paint the first down markers on TV.

Guess I was just really fascinated by paint.
User avatar #24 to #4 - psykojet (04/14/2013) [-]
lolokoko's milk thing.

And also, I used to think all cats were female and all dogs were male. I could never figure out Garfield
#26 to #24 - lieutenantshitface **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #100 to #26 - RamzaBeoulve (04/14/2013) [-]
Maybe it was that one movie with the pets that get lost or whatever. The dogs were male and the only cat was female. I know -I- watched it a lot as a child
#146 to #100 - astayal (04/14/2013) [-]
I believe the movie was called homeward bound? I used to love that film
User avatar #107 to #24 - contaminatedwin (04/14/2013) [-]
Well, have you ever actually seen a cat penis?
User avatar #129 to #4 - timeparadox (04/14/2013) [-]
I knew as a kid, that when you'll be an adult your face changes. But I didn't knew how. So I used to think that from a certain moment of your age your face disappears in a maelstrom-like way and then a new more adult face reappears the same way.
#18 to #4 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that the people in the deep end of the pool just had really long legs so that's why they could stand up in the deep end (they were leaning against the side of the pool) and that's why they wouldn't sink
#35 to #4 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that if I was chewing gum whiling pooping, it would instantaneously go all the way through my intestines and become poop.

I also use to think that if you reached the end of the universe you would just appear at the other side of it.
#37 to #35 - lieutenantshitface **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #131 to #35 - tragono **User deleted account** (04/14/2013) [-]
That last fact is actually true.
User avatar #149 to #131 - coolcalx (04/14/2013) [-]
you would have to go much faster than the speed of light to reach the edge of the universe. if there is an edge to the universe.

whether or not we can infer if the universe actually has a defined edge is dependent on the density of the universe, which we don't exactly know.
User avatar #7 to #4 - pepemex (04/13/2013) [-]
I used to think I would never be able to masturbate because I was circumcised.
#142 to #4 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that I was the only real person and that everyone else was a robot that had nothing to do other than entertain me.
#151 to #142 - coolcalx (04/14/2013) [-]
implying that isn't true
implying that isn't true
User avatar #51 to #4 - mrstalin (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that each state had its own language thanks to Hawaiian, and that I spoke Texan. I then got frustrated because I couldn't talk to the President (who at the time I thought was George Washington) because he spoke English, and I spoke Texan.
User avatar #112 to #4 - verboseivonne (04/14/2013) [-]
I was sure that if you have a cassette tape or CD, the music won't play any more if the singer dies.
I also needed some time to understand that Leonardo Di Caprio didn't in reality die in Titanic (I was 6 when the movie came out).
I was sure that male dogs only mate with female cats.
I also thought that my mom and dad's names are simply Mom and Dad and I also thought that everyone else's mom and dad are named Mom and Dad. Once I called my friend's mom "Mom" and they explained to me that even parents have like real names.
User avatar #9 to #4 - quazek (04/13/2013) [-]
I used to think that all music on the radio was being streamed from a live gig somewhere.
I used to see a shopping trolley in the supermarket, and ask my mum 'Who's trolley is that'? and then she would say 'It's the shop's one sweety.' and then I would get really pissed off because she thought I was stupid enough to think people had their own trolleys when really I just thought she knew everyone who was in the store and which cart was whose.
#12 to #9 - lieutenantshitface **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #67 to #4 - arkanios (04/14/2013) [-]
I got a few:

In Middle School, I thought that women got pregnant through their ass, and that babies were shat out like a bad case of constipation.

Whenever I lost something, I immediately blamed it on aliens, and thought that they would eventually bring back the stolen item after feeling bad for taking it or finding out that it was useless.

Finally, I thought that there was a machine that resembled a X-Ray machine that would remove specific thoughts from your brain, and I would ask my parents if I could go to one to remove the many frightening nightmares I had or scary scenes from movies that I saw.
User avatar #46 to #4 - danniegurl (04/14/2013) [-]
i thought the little bone that juts out in your ankle was like a rock or something.
User avatar #117 to #4 - SirSheepy (04/14/2013) [-]
When I was 5 I thought that god destroyed the earth every 7 years. Scared the ******* **** out of me the day before my 7th birthday
User avatar #31 to #4 - ThatsSoFunnyHeHe (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that when you let go of a balloon, it floated in the air until it hit the point of a star and popped.
#63 to #31 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
That is poetic. Deep.
User avatar #125 to #4 - chrislyles (04/14/2013) [-]
When I was little, I used to think that it was physically impossible for adults to sit on the floor because I had never seen one do it before. Then at the age of 6 I saw my aunt sitting on the floor and I said "How are you doing that!?" She said "... Doing what?" and I said "just sitting there on the floor! You can't do that!"

Also for some reason I thought "incinerator" was a curse word.
User avatar #73 to #4 - BroadSword (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that when we ate food it would just go inside our hollow bodies, starting from our toes to our neck. When we got full the food was getting near our mouth by our neck. Nothing like child obliviousness.
#144 to #4 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think babies were made with blood and breast milk mixed together.
#32 to #4 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that if you were pooping and you pushed reallllly hard, your lower intestine would come out instead of poop. I was terrified to poop for about 4 years.
#33 to #32 - lieutenantshitface **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #92 to #36 - sefercil (04/14/2013) [-]
dude. i love culpeo ^_^ some of his most colorful works were my wallpapers for months...
#42 to #36 - lieutenantshitface **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #49 to #4 - danniegurl (04/14/2013) [-]
my grandpa told me his hair ran away when i was a kid.
User avatar #134 to #4 - tragono **User deleted account** (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that there was a god.
User avatar #60 to #4 - turlesrfun (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think that the title of anything was the main character's name.
Pikachu was named Pokemon.
Kevin McAllister's name was Home Alone.

I don't know why.
User avatar #27 to #4 - farblaze ONLINE (04/14/2013) [-]
I knew that women didn't have a penis, but I didn't know they had a vagina. Up until fifth or sixth grade, I though their crotch was smooth and they peed out their butt.
User avatar #78 to #27 - coolcalx (04/14/2013) [-]
I "examined" a girl in kindergarten, and was confused as to why she didn't have a "dangly thing"

she was confused as to why I did.

oddly enough, we did this behind a poster about human anatomy.
#59 to #27 - turlesrfun (04/14/2013) [-]
I... I thought that too...
User avatar #102 to #27 - themightymrplow (04/14/2013) [-]
When I was young, for longer than I care to admit, I thought that a girls vagina was just a penis that never "popped out".
User avatar #50 - seymourtets (04/14/2013) [-]
When I was 4, I once practically shouted at my dad, in walmart, in front of two ghetto black people, "Daddy do we call black people black if they're actually brown?"
#62 to #50 - HughHefner (04/14/2013) [-]
When living at university we had a french exchange student living with us who didnt speak very good english, at all. I dont know why they set her loose in America without communication but god damn it we were living with Ceicle. (My roomate was a female, thats why they allowed it) Anyway as we were teaching Ceicle english and how to double fist big macs like a true patriot we didnt realize we never taught her how to properly address black people until we were within earshot to bunch of them and she turns and asks "Okay so do call them (pointing at the black folks) ne-gars or ne-gros?" They turned around like they just heard her say she kills babies for a living and were very angry until we explained the language barrier.

Shooting avoided, kept all my money and my shoes, Id say luck was on our side.

MFW I hear " ****** " and "negro"
User avatar #55 to #50 - fedegon (04/14/2013) [-]
This is irrelevant, but goddamn it, your avatar is weird.
#54 - xXMattMiguelXx (04/14/2013) [-]
MFW reading this
#70 - solarisofcelestia (04/14/2013) [-]
He's eating her, and then he's going to eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#138 to #70 - meuk (04/14/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#29 - kitsunemochalite (04/14/2013) [-]
Hungry Hungry Creator
User avatar #23 - viscii (04/14/2013) [-]
I used to think black people's palm are white because the didn't wash off the suncream after putting it on :L
#124 to #23 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
#86 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
When i was little i thought that God would recycle organs, so when you died he would take the organs and give then to a baby.
User avatar #96 to #86 - jokeface (04/14/2013) [-]
That's ******* beautiful. I wish that was possible.
#103 to #86 - elbrysobrony (04/14/2013) [-]
You know the stork bring babies,
But did you also know
He comes and get the older folks
When it’s their time to go?

Zooms right down and scoops them up,
Then flaps back out the door
And flies them to the factory where
They all were made before.

And there their skin is tightened up,
Their muscles all are toned,
Their wrinkles all are ironed out,
They’re given brand-new bones.

Ol’ bent backs are straightened up,
New teeth are added too,
Tired hearts are all repaired
And made to work like new.

Their memories are all removed
And they’re shrunk down, and then
The stork flies them back down to earth
As newborn babies again.
#147 to #103 - icametocomment (04/14/2013) [-]
My great-grandfather died yesterday...
User avatar #157 to #147 - elbrysobrony (04/14/2013) [-]
Damn, dude... I send my condolences...
User avatar #158 to #157 - icametocomment (04/14/2013) [-]
Thanks. He had been suffering from Alzheimer's really bad towards the end, and he just wasn't there anymore. I really, really hope I don't have the genes for that disease.
#44 - wecalledhimJones (04/14/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#93 to #44 - anonymouspusy **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#119 - felixjarl (04/14/2013) [-]
You know what, this might explain a thing or two.
User avatar #136 to #119 - explore (04/14/2013) [-]
User avatar #84 - mrmuffins (04/14/2013) [-]
When I was little I told my mom how black people in the army didn't need to use face paint because they blended in.
#87 - cappter (04/14/2013) [-]
Growing up in private schools I hadn't seen a black person until about age 4-5. Had no concept of a black skin color so first thing I said was " Wow, someone was playing in the mud to long". Scolded by teacher, sent home for day. Kids mom calls my house and calls my mother a racist.
#22 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
i called a black man a chocolate man when i was really young, luckily he just thought it was funny and mydad was emabarassed
#90 - redsalsa (04/14/2013) [-]
mfw that text
mfw that text
#127 - argoniansrule (04/14/2013) [-]
how do we know he doesn't huh? how do we know?
#111 - kingarturi (04/14/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#3 - sockswithsandals (04/13/2013) [-]
"I bet i taste like coal"
#75 - anon (04/14/2013) [-]
I lived in fear that everyone in the world got pregnant at age 18 until i was 8.(i'm a guy)
User avatar #109 to #75 - robinwilliamson (04/14/2013) [-]
"I'm a guy"
With that anon alias, I don't believe you
User avatar #10 - mynameislego (04/13/2013) [-]
enlarge, it really helps
#14 to #10 - Silver Quantum ONLINE (04/13/2013) [-]
op's face when you enlarge
op's face when you enlarge
User avatar #143 - wazapminecraft ONLINE (04/14/2013) [-]
when I heard the title, I expected Doctor who...
Still was funny tho
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