Eminem Jesus. .. Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To baptize everyone you ever wanted in one moment Would you save them or just let people sin? Oh Psalms are sweaty blub im a bike
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#19 - Anonnnymous
Reply +323
(04/13/2013) [-]
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To baptize everyone you ever wanted in one moment
Would you save them or just let people sin?
Oh

Psalms are sweaty, knees weak; cross is heavy.
There's vomit on my tunic already, Mother Mary.
He's Jewish, and on the surface he looks calm and ready to become a martyr bomb,
But he keeps on forgetting what he was told,
The whole mass goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the stones are coming now
He's hanging out, everybody is throwing, Ow.
His life's run out, he has respawned now!
Strapped back to reality, Oh there goes Christianity
Oh, there goes Rabi, he got poked
Strung up on the cross, he won't give up that easy. Oh
He will not have it; he knows he’s these people’s hopes.
It doesn’t matter, he's dope
He knows that but he's roped
He's so immobile, he knows
When he goes back to his mother's home, that's when it's
Back from death again, oh
This whole tragedy
They better write about this moment and hope it don't pass judgment on them.
#98 to #19 - generalcool **User deleted account**
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
.___________________________.
#103 to #19 - notsureifanon
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
**notsureifanon rolled a random image posted in comment #76 at Unknownforgotten **  I have no picture in my folder that can express the awesomeness of this.
**notsureifanon rolled a random image posted in comment #76 at Unknownforgotten ** I have no picture in my folder that can express the awesomeness of this.
#45 to #19 - badsamaritan
Reply +12
(04/13/2013) [-]
Winner
Winner
#29 to #19 - markertemp
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
Aside form the misspelling of Rabbi, this was beautiful.
#32 to #19 - abachonk
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#41 to #19 - anon
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
Now if someone posts a recording of this...
#85 to #19 - realgooner
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
I don't fav comments often, unless it's brilliant.
#36 to #19 - ButtonFly
Reply +1
(04/13/2013) [-]
I like you.
I like you.
#108 to #19 - funnymanohword
Reply +1
(04/13/2013) [-]
I...I think I fell in love with you. Will you marry me?
#127 to #19 - TreesyDoesIt
Reply +1
(04/13/2013) [-]
you glorious bastard
#129 to #19 - peyko
Reply +1
(04/13/2013) [-]
#28 to #19 - devestion
Reply +4
(04/13/2013) [-]
#25 to #19 - theuglypanda
Reply +6
(04/13/2013) [-]
This image has expired
#23 to #19 - thelordofbutthurt
Reply +8
(04/13/2013) [-]
You better give your life to the lord. Jesus our saviour.
bitch you better never doubt his word, oh!
you only got one shot to go through the pearly Doors!
this opportunity's, the work of a lifetime yo! x2

#89 to #19 - conordalymcr
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
#87 to #19 - vytros
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
That ****** dope yo.
That ****** dope yo.
#24 to #19 - Lolzster
Reply +1
(04/13/2013) [-]
MOAR LIKES
#79 to #19 - StormEagle
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#135 to #19 - anon
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
someone needs to make this a real song
#136 to #135 - anon
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
It's a ******* Eminem-song. L2listen 2 3m1n3m.
#34 to #19 - abcdxyz
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#133 to #19 - SmellyClaw
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
#31 to #19 - slimtotheshady
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
You won dude. You just won.
#122 to #19 - anon
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
Delicious pasta
#22 to #19 - guiguito
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
favorited this ****
#116 to #19 - littlepolski
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
this is amazing
this is amazing
#26 to #19 - jtdoggs **User deleted account**
+26
has deleted their comment [-]
#3 - radiohazard
Reply +77
(04/12/2013) [-]
#33 - badsamaritan
Reply +64
(04/13/2013) [-]
Walk up to the club like "What up, I got a big cross"
#84 to #33 - vladhellsing
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
#37 to #33 - jokeface
Reply +11
(04/13/2013) [-]
I'm so holy, bein' the son of the Big Boss
#43 to #37 - tonyredgrave
Reply +8
(04/13/2013) [-]
Physically I'm mortal but spiritually untouchable
Here to erase the sins of everybody's souls

Try to write more?
#46 to #43 - jokeface
Reply +11
(04/13/2013) [-]
I'm gonna save some souls
Only got peace and love on my schedule
I, I, I'm dyin'
Redeemin' all of mankind
I am ******* Jesusss
#48 to #46 - taxation
Reply +10
(04/13/2013) [-]
Whatchu know bout stabbin that crown in your noggin?
Whatchu know bout wearin that thin linen?
I'm dying, I'm dying, what's up Joseph of Arimatheeah?
Three days later, that's another Lord come up.
#50 to #48 - jokeface
Reply +9
(04/13/2013) [-]
I wear a poor man's clothes
I perform miracles
I feed five thousand bros
With just two fish and five loaves
#52 to #50 - taxation
Reply +9
(04/13/2013) [-]
Your Goddy, your Ghosty, your Virgin, your Mary
I'll take those ratty flip-floppies, sinner's-hand, I rock that Virgin-lover
The t-built crucie with four nails on that Virgin-lover
I climbed the hill and they banged me on that Virgin-lover!
#53 to #52 - jokeface
Reply +9
(04/13/2013) [-]
There was a cheating woman
I forgave a cheating woman
I forgave a blind beggar
Then forgave a crippled woman
Hello, hello, follow me child
Moses ain't got nothin' on my miracle style
#58 to #53 - taxation
Reply +7
(04/13/2013) [-]
Betray, betray, you weak man, you Judas
Iscariot ain't got nothing on my cross game, dumbass
I could get repentance, make church cool, diss gold
The Jesusfags would be like "Aw, he got his palms holed"
#69 to #58 - thezillis
Reply +2
(04/13/2013) [-]
Giving out so many green thumbs, I feel like Oprah
#68 to #58 - sphincterface
Reply +2
(04/13/2013) [-]
I shall make this into a legit parody. Giving u credit for it, of course.
#60 to #58 - jokeface
Reply +2
(04/13/2013) [-]
I'm sorry, I can't think of anymore, lmao. That was fun though.
#61 to #60 - taxation
Reply +2
(04/13/2013) [-]
Quite so, it's been a pleasure committing heresy with you!
#62 to #61 - jokeface
Reply +2
(04/13/2013) [-]
Don't worry, I'm sure Jesus has a sense of humor. He is Jewish after all.
#63 to #62 - taxation
Reply +2
(04/13/2013) [-]
What was his favorite song, "Don't Jewish your martyr was chill like me"?
#64 to #63 - jokeface
Reply +2
(04/13/2013) [-]
I think it was "My Crucifixion Brings all the Boys to the Yard"
#66 to #64 - taxation
Reply +2
(04/13/2013) [-]
Yeah, that or Black Sabbath. He was always one for irony, that son of God!
#72 to #66 - nuclearapparition
Reply +2
(04/13/2013) [-]
You guys' thread just won the entire internet, it's a glorious thing to watch unfold.
#44 to #43 - badsamaritan
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
idk how to respond
picture relevant to how i feel
#40 - imaspecial
Reply +36
(04/13/2013) [-]
#1 - tehyanx
Reply +26
(04/12/2013) [-]
This I like.
#17 - vishnarg
Reply +19
(04/13/2013) [-]
JFW he walked out of his tomb
JFW he walked out of his tomb
#35 - kidsquicker
Reply +17
(04/13/2013) [-]
#39 - soarinxdashie
Reply +13
(04/13/2013) [-]
lol
#47 to #39 - yuukoku
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
This image has expired
#78 to #39 - nephritho
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
dude.
#104 to #39 - blacktitan ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
Next time you're laughing out loud for something like that, please take a video so i can see! :) (not a happy smiley, it's a rape one!)
#75 - babyweewee
Reply +12
(04/13/2013) [-]
#93 to #75 - xupmatoih
Reply +1
(04/13/2013) [-]
he's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm spaghetti
to drop spaghetti, but he keeps on spaghetti
what he wrote down, the whole spaghetti oh so loud
he opens his mouth but spaghetti wont come one
he's choking now, everybody's spaghetti now
The clock's run out, time's up spaghetti, bloah!
#97 to #93 - zonryu ONLINE
Reply +1
(04/13/2013) [-]
>everybody's spaghetti

I havent laughed this hard in ages
#38 - deadmauf
Reply -2
(04/13/2013) [-]
As a christian, I could get myself worked up about this, and call out christian ji-had.

But i'm just sitting here thinking... meh... I have better things to do...
#51 to #38 - deadmauf
Reply +11
(04/13/2013) [-]
take a little joke people   
   
inb4 red thumbs, I'm going down with dignity.
take a little joke people

inb4 red thumbs, I'm going down with dignity.
#67 to #51 - ewowo
Reply +3
(04/13/2013) [-]
I think he's trying to make the point that instead of getting angry about this post, he's just gonna sit there and fap or whatever, because he's kind of a chill dude.
#76 to #67 - imlost ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
you just replied to the guy who made the original post
#113 to #76 - ewowo
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
Did NOT notice that. Whoa.
#134 to #51 - imlost ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/13/2013) [-]
my face when you firts comment has - 3 thumbs and your next has plus 12