BILBLE. yes you lost it. Allyson r Satan 10 hours ago . an Ifyou need help pick up a nine and read it Like ' Comment Satan "If two men are fighting and the wife The Game
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BILBLE

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Allyson r Satan
10 hours ago . an
Ifyou need help pick up a nine and read it
Like ' Comment
Satan "If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband
from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her
hand. Show her no pity."
Deuteronomy 25:
Thanks, this helps a lot!
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Submitted: 03/29/2013
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User avatar #8 - banditmuffin (03/30/2013) [-]
That's...an oddly specific scenario.

Makes me suspect the guy who wrote it in was the assailant with damaged privates
User avatar #21 to #8 - Kairyuka ONLINE (03/30/2013) [-]
Well laws were were made because at some point, someone did something someone else didn't like. Which means that this scenario has happened and someone got really pissed off.
#29 - YourAnalProbe ONLINE (03/30/2013) [-]
That's understandable, who the hell would want their balls squeezed?
+12
#20 - bangala has deleted their comment [-]
#19 - fhqwghads (03/30/2013) [-]
Ezekiel 23:19-21

"Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled."
User avatar #30 to #19 - emptysuperman (03/30/2013) [-]
Hot!
#32 to #19 - quazyjash (03/30/2013) [-]
My pastor used this verse in service one week. It's safe to say things got... awkward...
User avatar #35 to #32 - yologdog (03/30/2013) [-]
Your pastor was banging your mom. Sorry dude.
User avatar #28 to #19 - TarnRazor ONLINE (03/30/2013) [-]
50 Shades of Pray
#2 - Rascal (03/29/2013) [-]
Who doesn't love taking things out of context!
User avatar #3 to #2 - GIJorge (03/30/2013) [-]
Because clearly there is a really good context to that sentence.
As in:

"A couple ****** be talkin' on da street and one goes all:
Ayo man, if I was to beat yo stupid black ass, my girl came and got me by the balls, da **** is a ***** gon do?"
User avatar #9 to #2 - fuckberries (03/30/2013) [-]
yes.. because every bible quote is apparently taken out of context
User avatar #7 to #2 - whipptron (03/30/2013) [-]
what context could possibly, possibly make that okay?
User avatar #16 to #7 - condormcninja (03/30/2013) [-]
It was written so far in the past that it's not relevant anymore.

The Bible is a long, unabridged history written by a bunch of different people, and a lot of it is still relevant, but just as much really isn't.
User avatar #33 to #16 - jarelk ONLINE (03/30/2013) [-]
To me, that's really weird. How would you draw the line between what's relevant and what isn't, then?
User avatar #56 to #33 - condormcninja (03/30/2013) [-]
Keep in mind this is just the way I see it.

I don't think of the Bible as literal most of the time, but it's messages about loving thy neighbor and being selfless and everything like that is important nowadays, but a lot of it was written in a different time period and isn't relevant anymore.

Again, you can believe what you want, and this is what I choose to believe.
User avatar #57 to #56 - jarelk ONLINE (03/30/2013) [-]
I respect that. But what does that say about people who take the bible way too literal, like the WBC, whilst ignoring passages that don't agree with them?
User avatar #58 to #57 - condormcninja (03/30/2013) [-]
I don't follow you. They're assholes, so they REALLY shouldn't be compared to other Christians.
User avatar #59 to #58 - jarelk ONLINE (03/30/2013) [-]
Well, no, of course not. But if the bible is open to interpretation, by definition those people are neither right nor wrong. How does that work?
User avatar #60 to #59 - condormcninja (03/30/2013) [-]
They can believe what they want if they're not an ass about it. If they kept it to themselves I'd be okay with it, but they actively judge everyone and shove their beliefs down their throats, so that's not okay.
#1 - teranin ONLINE (03/29/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #24 - zzzanzitron ONLINE (03/30/2013) [-]
i mean really, old testament are just the ,most unrealistic rules i've ever read
#14 - lolerbot (03/30/2013) [-]
That scenario is... just... what?
#12 - ncisagentgibbs **User deleted account** (03/30/2013) [-]
Can't argue with that logic....
#34 - Spikeydeath (03/30/2013) [-]
Its funny that most Atheists read the bible better then Christians.
User avatar #36 to #34 - Crusader (03/30/2013) [-]
That's because most critically thinking Christians think critically and realize that most of the laws in the bible are outdated and if they were followed, would lead to persecution and would conflict with the most important teaching that Christians believe in. Love one another, love your neighbour, your brother, your parents, your enemies, hate the sin and not the sinner. And they realize that they are not without sin and only those innocent of crimes may judge people because of them.

inb4 most christians don't act that way

That would be why I said "critically thinking Christians"


besides the point, why do people hate christians? If it helps them be decent people, then why are you angry.
User avatar #38 to #36 - namnori (03/30/2013) [-]
I dislike Christians because, of the few I've met, they seem to be very biased and bigoted. I guess they may say the same thing about Atheists but I guess that's how it must be.
User avatar #44 to #38 - Crusader (03/30/2013) [-]
You can say that about any group.
I encountered a group of mathletes, they seem biased and bigoted towards the humanities.
I encountered a football player, he seemed biased and bigoted against other sports.
I met a liberal, they seemed biased and bigoted against conservatives.
#42 to #38 - teenytinyspider (03/30/2013) [-]
You got your bad nuts in every bunch, no matter what if it's a religious group, chess club, basketball team, etc.
#54 to #38 - Rascal (03/30/2013) [-]
it doesnt have to be that way
#55 to #36 - Spikeydeath (03/30/2013) [-]
I really am a Critically Thinking Christian, I dont belong to a denomination is one strange factor of my beliefs
User avatar #45 to #36 - flamingpie (03/30/2013) [-]
.... if everything is so out dated then why do they still use the ******* thing against gays?
User avatar #47 to #45 - Crusader (03/30/2013) [-]
"critically thinking Christians"

In other words, the ones that are able to think stuff through and realize that the bible is outdated, these are generally the christians who support gay rights.
User avatar #48 to #47 - flamingpie (03/30/2013) [-]
Fair enough. Still why believe in something so outdated as you say it is?
User avatar #49 to #48 - Crusader (03/30/2013) [-]
For the same reason that people believe in Monarchies, slavery and other things that have failed in the past.
They just want to.
It's as simple as that, they want to.
User avatar #51 to #49 - flamingpie (03/30/2013) [-]
Valid point. I appreciate your non-bigoted and well thought out responses. Thumbs for you.
User avatar #50 to #45 - dountcountthesheep (03/30/2013) [-]
Because some people are bigots. Most definitely not all christians, but the ones who are dicks are usually very vocal about it.
#10 - HarvietheDinkle (03/30/2013) [-]
"neuteronomy"
#13 to #10 - Rascal (03/30/2013) [-]
MY JIMMIES!
0
#37 - whitemager **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #39 to #37 - paparazzi (03/30/2013) [-]
i just checked it does.. this is ****** up o.o
User avatar #15 - AresX (03/30/2013) [-]
Why does the guy named Satan have the pope's cross as his profile picture?
#53 to #15 - Rascal (03/30/2013) [-]
Oh, if you insist.

It's not the inverted cross itself. It's the act of turning it upside down, thus defiling it. Much like KKK burning crosses. You don't think those bible thumpers would burn crosses to destroy them, right? It's the act of illuminating the cross.
So the symbolism is in the act rather than the symbol itself. I personally think that the sigil of Baphomet is a better, more comprehensible and modern symbol for satanism. On the other hand most modern satanists despise La Vey's teachings, so whatever.

#17 to #15 - jamintomusic (03/30/2013) [-]
the upside down cross. is usually associated with Lucifer.
#27 to #17 - monaro (03/30/2013) [-]
Though that hasn't been the case all that long. The Inverted Cross or the Cross of St. Peter is a traditional symbol of Christianity especially in Catholicism. St. Peter wanted to be crucified upside-down because he thought that he didn't deserve to die the same way as Jesus. So, it's actually a symbol of humility. Anti-Christian movements just thought that since a cross is a Christian symbol, the inverted one must then be anti-Christian.
User avatar #52 to #27 - dountcountthesheep (03/30/2013) [-]
I learned something new today
#63 to #27 - jamintomusic (04/01/2013) [-]
oh i had no idea. good to know
#26 to #17 - Rascal (03/30/2013) [-]
refer to the wiki linky, AresX is not wrong in his statement to the pope's cross.
User avatar #22 to #17 - amegaara (03/30/2013) [-]
nope the pope made it
User avatar #61 to #25 - amegaara (03/30/2013) [-]
i wasnt referring to the pope of this time (the recent one) i just read somewhere that a pope made adapted this cross shape
#62 to #61 - metalkprint (03/30/2013) [-]
It represents the martyrdom of the first Pope, Simon Peter, who was crucified upside down at his own request, since he felt unworthy to die in the same manner as his Lord and Savior.
User avatar #31 to #15 - stiltsformidgets (03/30/2013) [-]
Because it offends stupid people.
User avatar #6 - mayormilkman (03/30/2013) [-]
"A few seconds ago"

Every time.
User avatar #11 to #6 - Temari (03/30/2013) [-]
yeah, but Satan is reliable, they wouldn't delete that. Just cause someone caught it early doesn't mean that it was deleted 3 seconds later.
#4 - Rascal (03/30/2013) [-]
screencapped own comment 0/10
User avatar #23 to #4 - deadinferno (03/30/2013) [-]
I doubt whoever submitted this isn't the DJ 4DM1N of Satan you goon
User avatar #5 to #4 - kanayamaryam (03/30/2013) [-]
You're really gonna question Satan's methods.
User avatar #41 - dickticklerluv ONLINE (03/30/2013) [-]
Okay here's the Bible abridged

Don't be a dick
User avatar #43 to #41 - flamingpie (03/30/2013) [-]
I'm sure Hitler agreed.
#46 to #43 - dickticklerluv ONLINE (03/30/2013) [-]
I'm sure Winston Churchill agreed
I'm sure Winston Churchill agreed

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