Farts part 2.. Ask and ye shall receive... >be at a bar in St. Louis >loaded with hot chicks from nearby university >bartender is Rams cheerleader >be sure I'll be able to bring one back to m
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Farts part 2.

Ask and ye shall receive.

Tags: farts
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Views: 12226
Favorited: 27
Submitted: 03/24/2013
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#5 - cnlsanders (03/24/2013) [+] (1 reply)
>be at a bar in St. Louis
>loaded with hot chicks from nearby university
>bartender is Rams cheerleader
>be sure I'll be able to bring one back to my hotel room
>guy at bar is letting people try his homemade hot sauce
>try some, pretty good
>be two hours later
>halfway through third 4 dollar pitcher
>go to take piss
>start to piss, have to fart
>let it loose, liquidy shart fills boxers
>finish ******* , walk back through bar with head hung
>mfw everyone smells it
>walk outside, across street to river
>go down by river, throw boxers in
>take off sock, wipe ass, throw sock in
>starts to rain
>walk two miles back to hotel
#4 - arsyro (03/24/2013) [-]
This whole thread is beautiful
This whole thread is beautiful
#7 - mattdoggy (03/24/2013) [+] (1 reply)
>be flying to Colarado for a family vacation with cousins and all
>i eat a sausage and egg biscuit from McDonalds before i get on plane
>planes make people gassy, eggs and sausage give me rancid farts
>on the flight i drink probably a half gallon of apple juice which makes me get gassed up like an oil tanker
>when we get there me and my family and cousins are all crammed into a tiny van to take us hours away to the mountain skiing resort
>i tell them i need to use the bathroom but they say hold it
>i am starting to get a stronger and stronger urge to let little ones slip out and i finally give in
>smell is best compared to rotting fish filled with sulfur placed on rotten eggs, and everyone immediately smells it and yells at me
>they get out to air out but their are bags on me so i can't move
>we drive for 3 more hours and i am getting sick so much gas is building up in me
>as we go up the mountain i can feel it building up in my gut
>i somehow start burping out farts that are worse than my but farts and they all yell at me
>i ask if we can pull over and they say we are almost there
>an hour later and the hotel is in sight, but it is too late, i have reached my max
>"ok derp are you ready? Derp? Answer me now Derp i am your aunt"
>i can't say a word or i'll vomit
>they pile out while i try to stay still but my aunt grabs my arm
>as i slowly looked up, i could tell by her look, that she knew by look, that it was already over
>i start violently vomiting/burping with the audible level and intensity of a dragon yelling
>at the same time i let go of my farts, but they do not go alone
>a flow of diarrhea that i had previously not known about flows out of me while i still vomit
>conveniently all of this lands in my bookbag my aunt was kind enough to open, covering my brandnew gameboy and all my pokemon cards
>they took me to the doctor and said it was a mixture of altitude sickness and a gas build up, so i had to stay inside the entire week hooked to an oxygen machine.
#1 - zoahien (03/24/2013) [-]
i felt a lung collapse reading the last one with the black couple
User avatar #10 - billybobjoeii (03/25/2013) [-]
My favorite chemistry teacher puts laxatives in brownies and gives them to her least favorite students.
#8 - arsyro (03/25/2013) [-]
>at friend's house   
>his community has a gym   
>we decide to go    
>i get on leg press   
>set it on the highest (250 lbs)   
>start my rep    
>stomach just now remembers i ate 						****					 load of pizza before    
>mid way through rep   
>im determined to finish   
>therupturebegins.jpg   
>second to last press   
>cheeks fly apart to let out an earth shattering kaboom followed by the smell of mustard gas mixed with some acid along with tomato sauce    
>get up feeling relived   
>everybody's face is in disgust    
>look back at seat   
>its speckled with brown    
>MFW I leave and never return to the community again
>at friend's house
>his community has a gym
>we decide to go
>i get on leg press
>set it on the highest (250 lbs)
>start my rep
>stomach just now remembers i ate **** load of pizza before
>mid way through rep
>im determined to finish
>therupturebegins.jpg
>second to last press
>cheeks fly apart to let out an earth shattering kaboom followed by the smell of mustard gas mixed with some acid along with tomato sauce
>get up feeling relived
>everybody's face is in disgust
>look back at seat
>its speckled with brown
>MFW I leave and never return to the community again
#2 - bazda (03/24/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#3 - gunnay (03/24/2013) [-]
moar
moar
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