Jehovah’s Whitless. Don't agree with most of my families beliefs but i found this hilarious.. Marjory's t: l' in aiit while. I love nall/ b/ lilbit,, z). My brother did the same thing he invited them in, got lunch cooking for them, got them something to drink and started debating with them. He even brought over 4
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Jehovah’s Whitless

Don't agree with most of my families beliefs but i found this hilarious.

t: l' in aiit while. I love nall/ b/ lilbit,, z)
Views: 44764
Favorited: 52
Submitted: 03/22/2013
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#180 - isititis (03/23/2013) [-]
i had jehovah's witnesses show up at my door a couple weeks ago. i was expecting FedEx and don't have a peep hole so i opened the door. It was a fat lady with a pimply, ginger teenager that she made do the talking with his voice trembling and cracking the whole time. I felt bad for him being forced into that awkward moment so i listened to what he said and took his paper because being an atheist doesn't mean being an ******* . i was a little bit concerned that instead of being in school at 10:30 a.m. on a thursday he was going door to door with his mom talking about Moses. His mom made a comment on how she thought it was "funny" that Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all hold respect for him which I thought was one of the showed no knowledge on history of the middle east or understanding of any of religion outside of her own but i just shook my head, smiled, said "thank you", and closed the door.
User avatar #175 - landartheconqueror (03/23/2013) [-]
my brother answered the door to JWs ***** once. that might be why they stopped coming by
#174 - mastercolossus (03/23/2013) [-]
exerybody is wrong.
#172 - goldenkeyblade (03/23/2013) [-]
Everyone's all butthurt about the bible being mentioned over another religion
#171 - steveface (03/23/2013) [-]
A jehovahs witness came to my house as i was washing my car. He asked if i needed help and i said "no thanks i'm fine" talked about cars and how he had a 68 mustang. Gave me a pamphlet and shook my hand and left.    
These people are nice, why give them 						****					 for being nice?   
A jehovahs witness came to my house as i was washing my car. He asked if i needed help and i said "no thanks i'm fine" talked about cars and how he had a 68 mustang. Gave me a pamphlet and shook my hand and left.

These people are nice, why give them **** for being nice?

User avatar #169 - iamchicken (03/23/2013) [-]
Jehovahs Witness came to our place a while ago i answered the door they didn't even get to open their mouths when i said "Quaker." and shut the door.
#165 - anonymous (03/23/2013) [-]
If you're religious and you mock other religions. Please, just shut the **** up.
#164 - anonymous (03/23/2013) [-]
i would do the same with a harry potter book
#161 - feedmeh (03/23/2013) [-]
Being a pretty ******** Christian myself, I've taken to dropping to my knees and praying (LOUDLY) for their salvation...

They usually walk away awkwardly after you do that, and it's always kinda funny.
#160 - danzeebass **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#154 - whatugawkinat (03/23/2013) [-]
...And the Bible is more valid and accurate than their claims?
#179 to #154 - anonymous (03/23/2013) [-]
They share the same holy book. It's what the bible says they can't agree on.
User avatar #153 - averagemcgee (03/23/2013) [-]
You know, a couple of Jehovah Witnesses came by for the first time today. A old couple. Middle of winter. The lady rang the door bell and she gave me a pamphlet with jesus on it, and invited me to a going at their church next week. I smiled, said thank you, and wished them both a good day, they did the same.


is this really what you all have been complaining about?
#167 to #153 - anonymous (03/23/2013) [-]
where i live they come so often u get annoyed and start hating them even if they are very polite, it's specially annoying if u're waiting for someone
User avatar #150 - josephkirk (03/23/2013) [-]
iv never had a Jehova's witnesses come to my door but i am good friends with one, and he is the coolest guy i know, he makes more jokes about his religion than i do, ITS GREAT!
#149 - romdadon (03/23/2013) [-]
they are relentless
they are relentless
#138 - anonymous (03/23/2013) [-]
"Do you have time for Jesus Christ?"

"Yes I do, but not for you."
User avatar #134 - subaqueousreach (03/23/2013) [-]
When I was really young, my dad had the chance to start a cult with a group of Jehova's witnesses that kept coming by.

The first two dudes came by and my dad explained his views of faith (not religion). They were awe struck and came back a week later with 5 more people who wanted to better understand his faith. Then for about 2 months people kept coming to our house looking for my dad because they had heard about his views on faith and wanted to follow him. My dad finally convinced them to leave him the hell alone and that the whole point of his faith is to not follow someone else, but to follow god, and that's why he's not religious. He probably could have made them drink the kool-aid.
#129 - thatguyuknowtheone (03/23/2013) [-]
Regardless of the fact that you think the bible is BS or not if we consider it a work of fiction and compare it to another work of fiction about the same stuff like the Jahova bible then it was a good logical argument
#181 to #129 - anonymous (03/23/2013) [-]
They share the same holy book.
The Bible.

Shows how smart you look.
User avatar #189 to #181 - thatguyuknowtheone (03/24/2013) [-]
Hey anon there are different versions
#125 - eight (03/23/2013) [-]
MFW all religion is BS.
User avatar #147 to #125 - studbeefpile (03/23/2013) [-]
Well, I suppose there are about 3 basic options: 1 believe in evolution, which only goes back so far to either 1, there was nothing, which exploded(big bang), or 2, aliens planted crystals that started everthing, but that leaves questions like where did the aliens come from, and how did nothing explode? Option number 2 is believe in nothing, stay away from pondering such things, and live life how you see fit, which I can honestly understand the desire for. And finally option number 3, subscribe to some sort of religious belief, for this argument I'll use Christianity, because that's the belief I personally subscribe to. It gives an explanation, having this God that IS the beginning, you don't have to wonder how life just happened to occur, because you have faith that it was intelligent design. Now, I know what you're thinking 'flying spaghetti monster' but there is some logical evidence to suggest Christianity's credibility, a rather large one being: The earliest dated religious documents related to a religion are all found to be written hundreds, and even thousands of years after the death of the person they center around (such as islam whatever their prophet is), the earliest copy of the New Testament from the Bible is dated to be within 40 years of Paul's (one of it's writers) death, giving it some credibility. And there have been plenty of instances in which God's intervention in events is plain to see, a good example being George Washington's protection in battle, having bullet holes in his clothes, but not being hurt. So anyway, that's my argument for it, but I'm not a preacher, I'm not going to try to shove anything down your throat. You go and believe whatever the **** you wanna believe.
User avatar #187 to #147 - eight (03/23/2013) [-]
That isn't credibility. There are documents dating hundreds even thousands of years BEFORE the OT was ever recorded down. And none of these documents reference God or what should have been the prominent religion of the time (Judaism). Instead they talk about multi gods and others deity's making no mention of anything Judaic related.

And these cultures are spread out over vast lands. One would think that if writing had been achieved and the one true religion was in the majority of hearts and minds (being taught by Adam and Eve who they and we are all descendents of), that it would have been recorded down somewhere in this period. But no, it wasn't recorded down until Moses, hundreds of years after Abraham and thousands of years after many of the events in genesis as well as other early chapters.

And even then, we don't have the original copy of the Torah or even most of the documents of the OT. Because the book was lost for a long time before being found and "copied" over by Josiah. Who knows what was in the original manuscript.
For all we know, Josiah changed everything to build his temple and make himself and nation rich.

And these inconsistencies are just the tip of the ice berg when it comes to Christianity. I could devote 50,000 to 100,000 words to the many fallacies, inconsistencies, false prophecies, non prophecies, historical mistakes, logical mistakes, and contradictions present in the book.

And the ultimate joke is that the book is so large, most followers forget the majority of the book and aren't able to see the errors because they can't possibly comprehend ALL that information.
User avatar #188 to #187 - studbeefpile (03/24/2013) [-]
Of course there are documents referencing things other than God, not everyone held Jewish beliefs in BC times, in fact, the situation of Judaism at that time was one of private selection, they *were* God's chosen people, and they weren't trying to evangelize to anyone else.

I cannot address everything you've said, though I can say that many of the inconsistencies in the Bible you referred to are most likely due to ignorant Christians misrepresenting the Bible, which is unfortunately something that happens frequently. Those things aside though, I'm not talking about the Old Testament, I was talking about Christianity, the New Testament, the teachings of Jesus, so most of what you said doesn't apply. Anyway, like I said in my first comment, I'm not a preacher, I'm not trying to convert anybody, you can go and believe whatever you want to.
User avatar #191 to #188 - eight (03/24/2013) [-]
Adam and Eve bred. There children bred with one another. And 20-40 generations later we get Abraham.

The same thing that happens today happened then. Your religion and views are influenced by the culture you grow up in.

If you are born to a Muslim family, you are much more likely to be a Muslim yourself.
Likewise for any culture and family.

Adam and Eve would have taught their children, and their children would have taught theirs and the cycle continues.

We run into the first problem. In the 20-40 generations to get to Abraham, people would have needed a reason to break away from their parents teachings (Which as today does not occur as often even with ENORMOUS populations.

Once they have a reason, they would have needed to travel thousands of miles, across deserts and seas with followers, male and female, survive the long strenuous journey which would have taken years on its own. Once founding a place to settle, they would need to establish their own religion and breed quickly to make entire civilizations of hundreds and thousands of people, all with their own languages, deity's and cultures and in many cases these civilizations were diverse in their own right accepting different cultures.
Somehow, these civilizations developed the ability to write and they recorded their cultures in some cases a thousand years before the first OT document.

All of this would have needed to happen in a very short time with a very limited amount of people. All of this in 20-40 generations. If you calculate that a couple has children at age 18 and this continued for 40 years, that would be 720 years to do all of this, which could be acceptable for the years of about 500 BC (as we saw with Roman Republic).

However, much more people in 500 BC, a million times as many compared to 2,000 BC (time of Abraham).
In reality, people would have bred at 12-16 back then.
I hate to bash on your religion, but it lies. Not saying there's no creator. It just isn't what we think.

User avatar #192 to #191 - studbeefpile (03/24/2013) [-]
I'm not entirely sure I correctly understand the point you're trying to make, but this is what I have to contribute: People in those days started procreating as soon as possible around the age of 13 when the body is ****** enough to do so, and they had many many children per couple, and people also lived for upwards of 800 years until the time of Noah. Like I said, I don't think I properly understand the point you're making, so what I said might be irrelevant. I'll end this response with the same thing I've ended my other responses: I'm not a preacher, I'm not trying to convert you, I'm just sharing my belief, you can choose to believe what you want.
User avatar #194 to #192 - eight (03/24/2013) [-]
"lived for upwards of 800 years"

No they didn't. There has been no evidence of human remains to ever suggest this. Yes, you're Bible says this, but we have established it is inaccurate on many counts.

My point is, that one day Judaism existed, it had never been mentioned or recorded previous to a certain date. It just appeared as if fabricated from thin air (much like any fictional tale). There was already written language describing hundreds of different religions, some predating the earliest Judaic text by a thousand years.

But your Bible claims that it is the one true religion that has existed since the dawn of man (A&E) and if so, should have been the first to be written down and in abundance.

Knowing this while knowing that every religion in existence, especially those invented in the long past follow the same exact formula of attempting to explain the unexplainable through grand, and inspirational tales..a logical mind can determine all religion is false.

Fact is, religion was needed in the time that we could not understand our world. And because of this, it came about in EVERY culture around the world. And in each of these cultures, they claimed they had found the ONLY true God/Gods.

We no longer need religion to understand our world, which is why an increasing number of atheists and agnostics are coming about. People are finally deciding to look through the hodgepodge, the falsified claims, the inaccuracies, the greedy, controlling nature that accompanies ALL religions and look towards what they can prove.

I grew up a Christian and I am one of the few who allowed logic and reason to fill my brain. I pave my own path. I am not saying a creator doesn't exist, I am saying that MAN has no idea what the creator is and has invented stories to make sense of it, especially for what happens after death..

User avatar #196 to #194 - studbeefpile (03/24/2013) [-]
You may be right, I don't claim to have all the answers. I respectfully disagree with your position, and I honestly have a decent amount of respect for you, considering you actually made a civilized argument unlike the majority of atheists on the internet who resort to 'you're a dumbass Christian, learn to science fagget' argument tactics. It's clear neither of us will convince the other of our viewpoint so I bid thee good day. more thing, Noah's ark was found preserved in ice, if that isn't some sort of credibility I don't know what is.......
#168 to #147 - anonymous (03/23/2013) [-]
Retard alert. There wasn't an explosion, either. Get your head out of your ass and try to learn something.
#156 to #147 - KungFuZerO (03/23/2013) [-]
but the first point is wrong
first of all, evolution has nothing to do with the beginning of the universe
secondly, the big bang theory does not propose that "nothing" exploded
do your research son
#135 to #125 - anonymous (03/23/2013) [-]
If all religion was BS, then how has it lasted so long?
#142 to #135 - anonymous (03/23/2013) [-]
If ********* was bad then why is it still around da hurrr durr
#155 to #142 - anonymous (03/23/2013) [-]
That's a logical fallacy. Religion and ****** aren't similar enough for that argument to be valid.
User avatar #140 to #135 - screwyouman (03/23/2013) [-]
Children are easily influenced.
User avatar #139 to #135 - neenshah (03/23/2013) [-]
because people are retarded
#148 to #139 - anonymous (03/23/2013) [-]
Humans have a habit of filtering out the crap. Think about how long da Vicni's influence has lasted, and how long the average fad in pop-culture has lasted.
User avatar #144 to #139 - sanguinesolitude (03/23/2013) [-]
if god doesn't exist, who wrote the bible?
checkmate atheists.
#121 - imsohigh (03/23/2013) [-]
**imsohigh rolled a random image posted in comment #52 at Cringe worthy **
#106 - enlil (03/23/2013) [-]
this comment section
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