Jehovah’s Whitless. Don't agree with most of my families beliefs but i found this hilarious.. Marjory's t: l' in aiit while. I love nall/ b/ lilbit,, z). My brother did the same thing he invited them in, got lunch cooking for them, got them something to drink and started debating with them. He even brought over 4 You Go Girl
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[ 208 comments ]
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#26 - mattdoggy (03/23/2013) [-]
My brother did the same thing   
he invited them in, got lunch cooking for them, got them something to drink and started debating with them. He even brought over 4 local pastors who are close personal friends to all get together and show them all the parts where they were wrong at. They were trying to be nice and didn't leave until after they had eaten, but their youngest member was almost in tears when they left. Now they won't even leave a pamphlet in our door,
My brother did the same thing
he invited them in, got lunch cooking for them, got them something to drink and started debating with them. He even brought over 4 local pastors who are close personal friends to all get together and show them all the parts where they were wrong at. They were trying to be nice and didn't leave until after they had eaten, but their youngest member was almost in tears when they left. Now they won't even leave a pamphlet in our door,
#95 to #26 - Rascal (03/23/2013) [-]
it's ironic because a smart atheist could do the same to your brother and those 4 local pastors
#97 to #95 - Rascal (03/23/2013) [-]
A smart atheist wouldn't.
User avatar #112 to #97 - goobyman (03/23/2013) [-]
for some reason
this blows my mind so hard.
I love you, anon.
#157 to #95 - Rascal (03/23/2013) [-]
Atheists can't disprove **** , nor can the pastors prove it.
#40 - PlagueDoctor (03/23/2013) [-]
Those two JW ladies dont visit me anymore, either. Not after I opened the door wearing nothing but boxer shorts!   
Showed them!   
   
Then the cops showed me
Those two JW ladies dont visit me anymore, either. Not after I opened the door wearing nothing but boxer shorts!
Showed them!

Then the cops showed me
User avatar #62 to #40 - advicedude (03/23/2013) [-]
What'd the cops do? It's your house right?
#200 to #62 - PlagueDoctor (03/25/2013) [-]
Nothing bad, really. They just showed up and told me how those poor old ladies were shocked by said display.  And they warned me not to do it again because of indecent exposure or some 			****
Nothing bad, really. They just showed up and told me how those poor old ladies were shocked by said display. And they warned me not to do it again because of indecent exposure or some ****
#77 - thascomrad (03/23/2013) [-]
I remeber when jehovas came to my house. Instead of talking about god, he starts to ask me questions about my cars. He must have known that i didn't care about religion
I remeber when jehovas came to my house. Instead of talking about god, he starts to ask me questions about my cars. He must have known that i didn't care about religion
#64 - kampi ONLINE (03/23/2013) [-]
"Jahova witness"
"Jahova witness"
User avatar #122 to #64 - jahova (03/23/2013) [-]
you called?
#133 to #122 - kampi ONLINE (03/23/2013) [-]
... Appearently, I did.
User avatar #50 - EdTheGreat (03/23/2013) [-]
>human written book
>translated from multiple texts in multiple languages
>majority of it destroyed because it didn't fit in with the rest
>proof
#55 to #50 - Rascal (03/23/2013) [-]
This.

#149 - romdadon (03/23/2013) [-]
they are relentless
they are relentless
#171 - steveface (03/23/2013) [-]
A jehovahs witness came to my house as i was washing my car. He asked if i needed help and i said "no thanks i'm fine" talked about cars and how he had a 68 mustang. Gave me a pamphlet and shook my hand and left.    
   
These people are nice, why give them 			****		 for being nice?   
   
MFW
A jehovahs witness came to my house as i was washing my car. He asked if i needed help and i said "no thanks i'm fine" talked about cars and how he had a 68 mustang. Gave me a pamphlet and shook my hand and left.

These people are nice, why give them **** for being nice?

MFW
#34 - scorpidea (03/23/2013) [-]
They do not visit me anymore either. Not since I invited them in, made them lunch, and ate them.
User avatar #74 - thefasrdog ONLINE (03/23/2013) [-]
What I do.

>"Hello do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ"
>"No thank you."
>*Close door*

HILARIOUS!
User avatar #46 - bomonsterzz (03/23/2013) [-]
once i answered the door naked and covered in fake blood

they havent been back since :)
User avatar #143 to #46 - okamiden (03/23/2013) [-]
How would you hear the knock, get undressed, fetch fake blood and cover your self with it fast enough before they leave?
So legit
User avatar #211 to #143 - bomonsterzz (03/27/2013) [-]
well i was in the middle of my fake snuff porn video, so i answered the door without cleaning up
#48 to #46 - covered (03/23/2013) [-]
They (some of them) knock on your door sometimes just to see what crazy **** someone might do, and then they leave and have a laugh about it.

They saw your tally nackle
And laughed at it
#49 to #48 - covered (03/23/2013) [-]
But what if they're secretly satanists trying to covert all religious/nonreligious people with a fake ploy of Jehovah's Witness, but really they are satanists!

Oh God.. Wha-- what if, in fact, what if when they see people do this weird **** they feel they've converted you and they never return until they feel you've "abandoned" the order?

What is my life? Why is this all hitting me in my face now, hitting me in the face like 2 cubic tons of steaming hot semen, I'm being metaphorically bukakke'd by my own life.. Why?
User avatar #59 to #48 - bomonsterzz (03/23/2013) [-]
most people are amazed at my dick :P

i forgot to mention i was fully erect when i answered the door, some guys(yes im gay) even turned me down for sex because they said i was too big
User avatar #152 to #59 - covered (03/23/2013) [-]
Why would you be fully erect answering a door? Unless you're in a porno, just got done beatin' yo meat, or you were expecting a sexy time someone to come over, you shouldn't be erect.

Gah, just sick..
User avatar #212 to #48 - bomonsterzz (03/27/2013) [-]
most people say "damn, thats a nice fat tally nackle you have there sir"
#213 to #212 - covered (03/27/2013) [-]
Chode? :)
0
#58 to #48 - bomonsterzz has deleted their comment [-]
#32 - funnyjunkyeahyeah (03/23/2013) [-]
>Explaining why someone else's beliefs are wrong.
>Cite your own beliefs, from your own holy book.

K.
+7
#44 to #32 - bangala has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #60 to #44 - mayormilkman (03/23/2013) [-]
They even get the door greetings wrong, I have read.
User avatar #82 to #44 - bighairyfart (03/23/2013) [-]
I don't.
+2
#96 to #82 - bangala has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #1 - billybong (03/23/2013) [-]
I don't know how either of them could "prove" the other wrong... It's all hearsay and conjecture as far as I can tell :/
#2 to #1 - Rascal (03/23/2013) [-]
They have a ****** up translation though. My brother whips out his bible in the original greek and goes to town on their asses, it's pretty funny.
User avatar #3 to #2 - billybong (03/23/2013) [-]
myths debunking myths?
User avatar #31 to #3 - Crusader (03/23/2013) [-]
No offense, but trying to debunk the bible with another bible is like saying
"Star Wars can't be real because Star Trek says this"
User avatar #5 to #3 - sjbrewer (03/23/2013) [-]
WIN!!!!
#145 to #3 - Rascal (03/23/2013) [-]
Your picture is just perfect for this.
#4 to #1 - Rascal (03/23/2013) [-]
"as far as i can tell" thats not saying much.
User avatar #6 to #4 - billybong (03/23/2013) [-]
wat

I was being humble you ******** . I don't know if either of those religious texts are true, and neither do you.
User avatar #7 to #1 - iamkagji (03/23/2013) [-]
The Jehovah's Witnesses claim to follow the teachings of the bible, but they have a bunch of nonsensical rules that aren't in there and some of which directly contradict it (just like all Christian denominations). That's how. It's a battle of faith not facts.
User avatar #10 to #7 - phantompaladin (03/23/2013) [-]
like what?
User avatar #21 to #10 - iamkagji (03/23/2013) [-]
The 144,000 for one. I could p[probably think of more, but I just woke up.
User avatar #193 to #21 - phantompaladin (03/24/2013) [-]
But the bible says that only 144,000 since the death of Christ would join him as Kings and Priests in the new Theocratic government following armageddon, and that everyone else would live on earth in paradise conditions, like it was originally. Most religions kinda ignore all this, especially what's found in revelations. It doesn't take much research to find this stuff out.

Anything else that they do/teach that's "wrong"?
User avatar #195 to #193 - iamkagji (03/24/2013) [-]
The bible says kings and priests in GOD'S government, not that 144,000 men will be made gods in their own right and everyone else goes to hell. Jehovah's Witnesses are technically polytheists because of this belief, and that is also spoken against in the bible. Trust me, I can pick apart most religions with relative ease given enough time. Especially the younger ones with very clear roots. I am not saying that any of them are wrong, since there is no actual proof either way, but I can still find flaws in their logic.
User avatar #201 to #195 - phantompaladin (03/26/2013) [-]
Where do I even begin... yeesh. Paul spoke about some people needing to rely on milk before solid food (metaphorically speaking regarding spiritual truths). I'll just leave you with one thought you can research yourself. Where in the bible does it teach about people going to hell? Or the existence of a hell (how most religions portray it)? You'll find that even ones high ranking in catholism have admitted to it being a lie.
User avatar #202 to #201 - iamkagji (03/26/2013) [-]
I already know that. The start of this conversation was me answering how, in the minds of a believer, you could prove Jehovah's witnesses wrong. Right now I don't want a theological debate, and I don't want to offend anyone. I grew up as a Baptist and researched heavily before deciding it was all ******** .
User avatar #203 to #202 - phantompaladin (03/26/2013) [-]
I don't want to argue either, but I do want to point out that everything you mentioned about JW's was completely wrong and most likely biased opinion.
User avatar #204 to #203 - iamkagji (03/26/2013) [-]
I will admit that I do not know much about Jehovah's Witnesses, mostly because they are annoying ***** and I want nothing to do with them. However, I have a decent amount of knowledge on most other mainstream religions.
User avatar #205 to #204 - phantompaladin (03/26/2013) [-]
Makes sense. Jesus said the world hated him, so the world would also hate his disciples :P
User avatar #206 to #205 - iamkagji (03/26/2013) [-]
I only hate people who are overt and forceful. You can believe what you want, you can try to convert me. As long as you take no for an answer, we'll get along just fine. My best friend is a Mormon, so I have no problems with religion, just certain people within it. Jehovah Witnesses seem to have the highest concentration of such assholes.
User avatar #208 to #206 - phantompaladin (03/26/2013) [-]
Not that I'm trying to convert you to anything either, but I can't stand by while someone trash talks the nicest people in the world. I've always stood up to bullies with no sense of right or reason.
User avatar #207 to #206 - phantompaladin (03/26/2013) [-]
Do you just believe anything people say to you? 'Cuz what I've seen heard and read about them is the complete opposite the way you describe them. I think they have an official website you should check out. Whenever there's a natural disaster they are usually the first people on the scene with supplies and stuff.

Sure sounds like a buncha ass holes.
User avatar #209 to #207 - iamkagji (03/26/2013) [-]
My experiences with them are this:

>I met one at Safeway. He tried to recruit me. I said no. He proceeded to FOLLOW ME HOME
>Lady knocks on my door. Asks if I had heard the news of Jesus Christ. I said sorry, not interested. She stood on my doorstep for 15 minutes before going away.
>One day, I had 4 of them knock on my door within 30 minutes of each other.
>A week ago I woke up to 7 posters for the local church on my door and 2 in the mailbox.
>I found 3 flyers in my car and one on the windshield when I came out of the department store.

This is all this year. I can go back further if you want; I have more.
User avatar #210 to #209 - phantompaladin (03/26/2013) [-]
Dude I don't know who those people were but they were not JW's. They don't say stuff like "have you heard of jesus christ", they don't stick around if you don't want to talk to them, they don't follow you home for christs sake, they don't leave things on people's cars either. Either they were some other religious nutjobs or they were lyign if they actually said to you that they were JW's. And if you tell them not to come back, they respect your wishes and put you on a do-not-call list. Then you might see them once every couple years just so they can ask if you changed your mind. I remember someone telling me that JW's tried breaking into their house because they pretended they wern't home.
#101 - powerfapping (03/23/2013) [-]
I had a Jehovah's witness come to my door once. He gave me a flyer for a Good Friday event and then proceeded to chat with me for a while. He seemed nice (and sane), and my dog liked him.

MFW
#105 to #101 - sanguinesolitude ONLINE (03/23/2013) [-]
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did he blow you? Because that' the only way that story could be less gay.
#110 to #105 - powerfapping (03/23/2013) [-]
He did not, but I think I can guess who you'll be spending the "afterlife" with.
He did not, but I think I can guess who you'll be spending the "afterlife" with.
#120 to #110 - sanguinesolitude ONLINE (03/23/2013) [-]
This image has expired
yfw 24/7
#123 to #120 - powerfapping (03/23/2013) [-]
Did your parents get you this cake after your trip to Neverland Ranch?
#126 to #123 - sanguinesolitude ONLINE (03/23/2013) [-]
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LOL well played. I'm guessing this cake would be more your speed, not too sweet, but all the whipped cream you can swallow.
#131 to #126 - powerfapping (03/23/2013) [-]
Coming from the man with the gay sailor gif.

For science I'm assuming.
#132 to #131 - sanguinesolitude ONLINE (03/23/2013) [-]
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Hey most good research is done on one's knees. I'm guessing you had more of a face down ass up education.
#136 to #132 - powerfapping (03/23/2013) [-]
Looks like Gumby isn't the only one coming out of the closet.
Looks like Gumby isn't the only one coming out of the closet.
#137 to #136 - sanguinesolitude ONLINE (03/23/2013) [-]
This image has expired
I bet you left the closet right away and painted the town pink. yfw introducing yourself
#163 to #137 - powerfapping (03/23/2013) [-]
YFW vagina
YFW vagina
#166 to #163 - sanguinesolitude ONLINE (03/23/2013) [-]
This image has expired
yfw eating a banana. (no asking why i saved this gif...)
User avatar #9 - jtwagner (03/23/2013) [-]
I like to pull out a greek bible and explain to them about how it's what the bible was actually written in, and how you should read the original before trying to force your beliefs on someone else.
User avatar #13 to #9 - toughactintinactin (03/23/2013) [-]
Then i'll pull out the Torah in Hebrew and show you what the real bible was.
#35 - MasterManiac (03/23/2013) [-]
Awwww she thinks you can prove that people's religious beliefs wrong. How adorable.
Awwww she thinks you can prove that people's religious beliefs wrong. How adorable.
#185 to #35 - Rascal (03/23/2013) [-]
Well using the book that's full of the thoughts of Jesus Christ helps.
User avatar #52 to #35 - smittywrbmnjnsn (03/23/2013) [-]
Well, you can prove that their "proof" is wrong.
That's what she was actually doing.
User avatar #153 - averagemcgee ONLINE (03/23/2013) [-]
You know, a couple of Jehovah Witnesses came by for the first time today. A old couple. Middle of winter. The lady rang the door bell and she gave me a pamphlet with jesus on it, and invited me to a going at their church next week. I smiled, said thank you, and wished them both a good day, they did the same.

...

is this really what you all have been complaining about?
#167 to #153 - Rascal (03/23/2013) [-]
where i live they come so often u get annoyed and start hating them even if they are very polite, it's specially annoying if u're waiting for someone
User avatar #134 - subaqueousreach ONLINE (03/23/2013) [-]
When I was really young, my dad had the chance to start a cult with a group of Jehova's witnesses that kept coming by.

The first two dudes came by and my dad explained his views of faith (not religion). They were awe struck and came back a week later with 5 more people who wanted to better understand his faith. Then for about 2 months people kept coming to our house looking for my dad because they had heard about his views on faith and wanted to follow him. My dad finally convinced them to leave him the hell alone and that the whole point of his faith is to not follow someone else, but to follow god, and that's why he's not religious. He probably could have made them drink the kool-aid.
User avatar #81 - bighairyfart (03/23/2013) [-]
I have a serious question.
What the **** is a Jehova's Witness
#173 to #81 - abachonk (03/23/2013) [-]
Door knockers from hell
Door knockers from hell
#186 to #81 - Rascal (03/23/2013) [-]
Christians who have sightly differnent believes of other Christians.
User avatar #85 to #81 - slapchoppin (03/23/2013) [-]
when god was on trial he went by his street name of Jehova and the people who saw what happened were his Witnesses
User avatar #90 to #85 - tigersstripes (03/23/2013) [-]
like..in all seriousness? thats it? what?
User avatar #91 to #81 - Eventually (03/23/2013) [-]
A pain in the ass
User avatar #33 - Bravechampion (03/23/2013) [-]
I was told by a Jehovah's Witness once that if you turn down their offer, they are supposed to wait atleast 6 months before approaching you again... I have never tested this theory, as somehow I have never had one come to my door, but if it's true, I hope you find it useful information.
#146 to #33 - salsawin (03/23/2013) [-]
Depends on the location. In the States, they use a notecard system to track areas that they've visited, and who's given what sort of response. If it's an area with a high turnover (ie, low income apartment housing) they might be back more frequently. In other parts of the world, I've seen them use notebooks that get passed around, databases, and even leave signs scratched inconspicuously into peoples doors.
#87 to #33 - tehphire (03/23/2013) [-]
Yeah, they take note of those that say no, so that they don't bother you even more.
User avatar #29 - dayasalion (03/23/2013) [-]
My moms a devoted catholic and there's a Jehovah's witness daughter and mother that come to our door about once a week. My mom is nice so she talks to them. I just wanna bang the daughter.
User avatar #100 to #29 - theuglypanda (03/23/2013) [-]
good man
User avatar #36 to #29 - Furubatsu (03/23/2013) [-]
Sadly they flip the **** out of a girl or boy are together unchaperoned.
My nan's a JW and has been a widow for about 30 years, she's friends with a widower and she will sometimes make him dinner. There both in their late 70's with tons of problems but their church freak out over the idea.
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