Jehovah’s Whitless. Don't agree with most of my families beliefs but i found this hilarious... My brother did the same thing he invited them in, got lunch cooking for them, got them something to drink and started debating with them. He even brought over 4 You Go Girl
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#16 - sanosauro
Reply -45
(03/23/2013) [-]
my girlfriend is a Jehovah's witness and I'm an atheist. Not once has she attempted to push her beliefs onto me and she is one of the most beautiful and nicest people I've ever met. Nicer than any Christians anyway
#71 to #16 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
So edgy and cool guys. Watch out guys he'll cut you with how edgy he is.
#45 to #16 - bangala
+8
has deleted their comment [-]
#18 to #16 - frienderman
Reply +82
(03/23/2013) [-]

Jehovah's Witnesses are Christians
#68 to #18 - defeats
Reply +3
(03/23/2013) [-]
Jehova's Witnesses deny the deity known as Christ, this alone makes them not Christian.
#130 to #68 - bangala
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#39 to #18 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
Not entirely true, they're both the same concept, but Christians are very different. For one, they're assholes.
#53 to #39 - killerliquid
Reply +4
(03/23/2013) [-]
Jehovah's witnesses are only a branch of Christianity. Anything religion that believes in the New Testament are Christian
#19 to #18 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
no... no they aren't...
#20 to #19 - frienderman
Reply +15
(03/23/2013) [-]
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah's_Witnesses

"Restoration Christian"

While their beliefs may by atypical of most Christian faiths, they are, by most definitions, Christian.
#24 to #20 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
But calling them Christians would be misleading.
#25 to #24 - miwauturu
Reply +6
(03/23/2013) [-]
"Christian" is not a religion, it is a general term for a group of religions who follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. (Catholicism, Anglican, Mormon and yes,Jehovah's Witnesses are all included in this list along with many others)
#70 to #25 - defeats
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
Jehovah's Witnesses deny Christ's existence, they aren't Christian.
Show a source for this "grouping".
#27 to #25 - mattdoggy
-3
has deleted their comment [-]
#30 to #27 - Crusader
Reply +3
(03/23/2013) [-]
No, Catholics are to Orthodox what Sunii are to Shiites.
Jehovah's Witnesses are a denomination of Christianity, they believe in the Christian God, they believe the God only created Christ, and then Christ created everything, yet they do not recognize the trinity.
#26 - mattdoggy
Reply +75
(03/23/2013) [-]
My brother did the same thing   
he invited them in, got lunch cooking for them, got them something to drink and started debating with them. He even brought over 4 local pastors who are close personal friends to all get together and show them all the parts where they were wrong at. They were trying to be nice and didn't leave until after they had eaten, but their youngest member was almost in tears when they left. Now they won't even leave a pamphlet in our door,
My brother did the same thing
he invited them in, got lunch cooking for them, got them something to drink and started debating with them. He even brought over 4 local pastors who are close personal friends to all get together and show them all the parts where they were wrong at. They were trying to be nice and didn't leave until after they had eaten, but their youngest member was almost in tears when they left. Now they won't even leave a pamphlet in our door,
#95 to #26 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
it's ironic because a smart atheist could do the same to your brother and those 4 local pastors
#157 to #95 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
Atheists can't disprove ****, nor can the pastors prove it.
#97 to #95 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
A smart atheist wouldn't.
#112 to #97 - goobyman
Reply +2
(03/23/2013) [-]
for some reason
this blows my mind so hard.
I love you, anon.
#46 - bomonsterzz
Reply +12
(03/23/2013) [-]
once i answered the door naked and covered in fake blood

they havent been back since :)
#124 to #46 - TheBagel
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
#143 to #46 - okamiden
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
How would you hear the knock, get undressed, fetch fake blood and cover your self with it fast enough before they leave?
So legit
#211 to #143 - bomonsterzz
Reply 0
(03/27/2013) [-]
well i was in the middle of my fake snuff porn video, so i answered the door without cleaning up
#48 to #46 - covered
Reply +49
(03/23/2013) [-]
They (some of them) knock on your door sometimes just to see what crazy **** someone might do, and then they leave and have a laugh about it.

They saw your tally nackle
And laughed at it
#49 to #48 - covered
Reply +5
(03/23/2013) [-]
But what if they're secretly satanists trying to covert all religious/nonreligious people with a fake ploy of Jehovah's Witness, but really they are satanists!

Oh God.. Wha-- what if, in fact, what if when they see people do this weird **** they feel they've converted you and they never return until they feel you've "abandoned" the order?

What is my life? Why is this all hitting me in my face now, hitting me in the face like 2 cubic tons of steaming hot semen, I'm being metaphorically bukakke'd by my own life.. Why?
#212 to #48 - bomonsterzz
Reply 0
(03/27/2013) [-]
most people say "damn, thats a nice fat tally nackle you have there sir"
#213 to #212 - covered
Reply 0
(03/27/2013) [-]
Chode? :)
#58 to #48 - bomonsterzz
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#59 to #48 - bomonsterzz
Reply -6
(03/23/2013) [-]
most people are amazed at my dick :P

i forgot to mention i was fully erect when i answered the door, some guys(yes im gay) even turned me down for sex because they said i was too big
#152 to #59 - covered
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
Why would you be fully erect answering a door? Unless you're in a porno, just got done beatin' yo meat, or you were expecting a sexy time someone to come over, you shouldn't be erect.

Gah, just sick..
#1 - billybong
Reply +9
(03/23/2013) [-]
I don't know how either of them could "prove" the other wrong... It's all hearsay and conjecture as far as I can tell :/
#2 to #1 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
They have a ****** up translation though. My brother whips out his bible in the original greek and goes to town on their asses, it's pretty funny.
#3 to #2 - billybong
Reply +24
(03/23/2013) [-]
myths debunking myths?
#31 to #3 - Crusader
Reply +3
(03/23/2013) [-]
No offense, but trying to debunk the bible with another bible is like saying
"Star Wars can't be real because Star Trek says this"
#145 to #3 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
Your picture is just perfect for this.
#5 to #3 - sjbrewer
Reply -1
(03/23/2013) [-]
WIN!!!!
#4 to #1 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
"as far as i can tell" thats not saying much.
#6 to #4 - billybong
Reply +6
(03/23/2013) [-]
wat

I was being humble you ********. I don't know if either of those religious texts are true, and neither do you.
#7 to #1 - iamkagji ONLINE
Reply +5
(03/23/2013) [-]
The Jehovah's Witnesses claim to follow the teachings of the bible, but they have a bunch of nonsensical rules that aren't in there and some of which directly contradict it (just like all Christian denominations). That's how. It's a battle of faith not facts.
#10 to #7 - phantompaladin ONLINE
Reply +1
(03/23/2013) [-]
like what?
#21 to #10 - iamkagji ONLINE
Reply +2
(03/23/2013) [-]
The 144,000 for one. I could p[probably think of more, but I just woke up.
#193 to #21 - phantompaladin ONLINE
Reply +1
(03/24/2013) [-]
But the bible says that only 144,000 since the death of Christ would join him as Kings and Priests in the new Theocratic government following armageddon, and that everyone else would live on earth in paradise conditions, like it was originally. Most religions kinda ignore all this, especially what's found in revelations. It doesn't take much research to find this stuff out.

Anything else that they do/teach that's "wrong"?
#195 to #193 - iamkagji ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/24/2013) [-]
The bible says kings and priests in GOD'S government, not that 144,000 men will be made gods in their own right and everyone else goes to hell. Jehovah's Witnesses are technically polytheists because of this belief, and that is also spoken against in the bible. Trust me, I can pick apart most religions with relative ease given enough time. Especially the younger ones with very clear roots. I am not saying that any of them are wrong, since there is no actual proof either way, but I can still find flaws in their logic.
#201 to #195 - phantompaladin ONLINE
Reply +1
(03/26/2013) [-]
Where do I even begin... yeesh. Paul spoke about some people needing to rely on milk before solid food (metaphorically speaking regarding spiritual truths). I'll just leave you with one thought you can research yourself. Where in the bible does it teach about people going to hell? Or the existence of a hell (how most religions portray it)? You'll find that even ones high ranking in catholism have admitted to it being a lie.
#202 to #201 - iamkagji ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/26/2013) [-]
I already know that. The start of this conversation was me answering how, in the minds of a believer, you could prove Jehovah's witnesses wrong. Right now I don't want a theological debate, and I don't want to offend anyone. I grew up as a Baptist and researched heavily before deciding it was all ********.
#203 to #202 - phantompaladin ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/26/2013) [-]
I don't want to argue either, but I do want to point out that everything you mentioned about JW's was completely wrong and most likely biased opinion.
#204 to #203 - iamkagji ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/26/2013) [-]
I will admit that I do not know much about Jehovah's Witnesses, mostly because they are annoying ***** and I want nothing to do with them. However, I have a decent amount of knowledge on most other mainstream religions.
#205 to #204 - phantompaladin ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/26/2013) [-]
Makes sense. Jesus said the world hated him, so the world would also hate his disciples :P
#206 to #205 - iamkagji ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/26/2013) [-]
I only hate people who are overt and forceful. You can believe what you want, you can try to convert me. As long as you take no for an answer, we'll get along just fine. My best friend is a Mormon, so I have no problems with religion, just certain people within it. Jehovah Witnesses seem to have the highest concentration of such assholes.
#208 to #206 - phantompaladin ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/26/2013) [-]
Not that I'm trying to convert you to anything either, but I can't stand by while someone trash talks the nicest people in the world. I've always stood up to bullies with no sense of right or reason.
#207 to #206 - phantompaladin ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/26/2013) [-]
Do you just believe anything people say to you? 'Cuz what I've seen heard and read about them is the complete opposite the way you describe them. I think they have an official website you should check out. Whenever there's a natural disaster they are usually the first people on the scene with supplies and stuff.

Sure sounds like a buncha ass holes.
#209 to #207 - iamkagji ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/26/2013) [-]
My experiences with them are this:

>I met one at Safeway. He tried to recruit me. I said no. He proceeded to FOLLOW ME HOME
>Lady knocks on my door. Asks if I had heard the news of Jesus Christ. I said sorry, not interested. She stood on my doorstep for 15 minutes before going away.
>One day, I had 4 of them knock on my door within 30 minutes of each other.
>A week ago I woke up to 7 posters for the local church on my door and 2 in the mailbox.
>I found 3 flyers in my car and one on the windshield when I came out of the department store.

This is all this year. I can go back further if you want; I have more.
#210 to #209 - phantompaladin ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/26/2013) [-]
Dude I don't know who those people were but they were not JW's. They don't say stuff like "have you heard of jesus christ", they don't stick around if you don't want to talk to them, they don't follow you home for christs sake, they don't leave things on people's cars either. Either they were some other religious nutjobs or they were lyign if they actually said to you that they were JW's. And if you tell them not to come back, they respect your wishes and put you on a do-not-call list. Then you might see them once every couple years just so they can ask if you changed your mind. I remember someone telling me that JW's tried breaking into their house because they pretended they wern't home.
#50 - EdTheGreat
Reply +16
(03/23/2013) [-]
>human written book
>translated from multiple texts in multiple languages
>majority of it destroyed because it didn't fit in with the rest
>proof
#55 to #50 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
This.

#40 - PlagueDoctor
Reply +11
(03/23/2013) [-]
Those two JW ladies dont visit me anymore, either. Not after I opened the door wearing nothing but boxer shorts!   
Showed them!   
   
Then the cops showed me
Those two JW ladies dont visit me anymore, either. Not after I opened the door wearing nothing but boxer shorts!
Showed them!

Then the cops showed me
#62 to #40 - advicedude
Reply +3
(03/23/2013) [-]
What'd the cops do? It's your house right?
#200 to #62 - PlagueDoctor
Reply 0
(03/25/2013) [-]
Nothing bad, really. They just showed up and told me how those poor old ladies were shocked by said display.  And they warned me not to do it again because of indecent exposure or some ****
Nothing bad, really. They just showed up and told me how those poor old ladies were shocked by said display. And they warned me not to do it again because of indecent exposure or some ****
#77 - thascomrad
Reply +10
(03/23/2013) [-]
I remeber when jehovas came to my house. Instead of talking about god, he starts to ask me questions about my cars. He must have known that i didn't care about religion
I remeber when jehovas came to my house. Instead of talking about god, he starts to ask me questions about my cars. He must have known that i didn't care about religion
#9 - jtwagner
Reply +4
(03/23/2013) [-]
I like to pull out a greek bible and explain to them about how it's what the bible was actually written in, and how you should read the original before trying to force your beliefs on someone else.
#13 to #9 - toughactintinactin
Reply +10
(03/23/2013) [-]
Then i'll pull out the Torah in Hebrew and show you what the real bible was.
#35 - MasterManiac
Reply +8
(03/23/2013) [-]
Awwww she thinks you can prove that people's religious beliefs wrong. How adorable.
Awwww she thinks you can prove that people's religious beliefs wrong. How adorable.
#52 to #35 - smittywrbmnjnsn
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
Well, you can prove that their "proof" is wrong.
That's what she was actually doing.
#185 to #35 - anon
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
Well using the book that's full of the thoughts of Jesus Christ helps.
#32 - funnyjunkyeahyeah
Reply +8
(03/23/2013) [-]
>Explaining why someone else's beliefs are wrong.
>Cite your own beliefs, from your own holy book.

K.
#44 to #32 - bangala
+7
has deleted their comment [-]
#60 to #44 - mayormilkman
Reply +3
(03/23/2013) [-]
They even get the door greetings wrong, I have read.
#82 to #44 - bighairyfart
Reply +1
(03/23/2013) [-]
I don't.
#96 to #82 - bangala
+2
has deleted their comment [-]
#107 to #96 - bighairyfart
Reply 0
(03/23/2013) [-]
ty