Sounds Delicious. . nin- f someone was covered in paper cuts and you threw them into a pool as lemon's/ hopalong as you thinh ft wands taha them to are Mcmttc/
x

Sounds Delicious

nin-
f someone was covered in paper cuts and you threw them into a pool
as lemon's/ hopalong as you thinh ft wands taha them to are
Mcmttc/ rcly as Jante' s Warns as you crawl out as
v/ het/ tyou rolled their bad}; in salt first
easy there, satan
margarita
...
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Views: 80274
Favorited: 380
Submitted: 03/20/2013
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Comments(238):

[ 238 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#19 - ascendedwings (03/21/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#31 to #19 - lordlucifer ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#134 to #19 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
It's pronounced "SA-TEEN."
#43 to #19 - thereasonableperso ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
Its sat-een actually.
#79 - shadsword (03/21/2013) [-]
or we can just hit them with a spoon
or we can just hit them with a spoon
#191 to #79 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
funniest video i've seen in a while
User avatar #85 to #79 - scorcho (03/21/2013) [-]
again and again
User avatar #155 to #85 - inbardo (03/21/2013) [-]
and again and again and again and again
#65 - tiberioustyphr (03/21/2013) [-]
And then....THE BEES
And then....THE BEES
User avatar #80 to #65 - Blargosnarf (03/21/2013) [-]
He's in so much pain he lost all comprehension of human life and now think's he's a sheep. "BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA"
#156 to #80 - inbardo (03/21/2013) [-]
This translation is better
This translation is better
#121 - schneidend ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
"easy there, satan"
"easy there, satan"
#2 - karpmin (03/20/2013) [-]
Some1 is a creative torture master
User avatar #86 to #2 - jonajon (03/21/2013) [-]
OH GOD!

...

COMIC SANS!
#1 - nicolbolas (03/20/2013) [-]
my skin crawled
User avatar #6 - Spavaloo (03/21/2013) [-]
Okay.

Okay guys.

You give them a dip in diluted hydrochloric acid- you following me? Make sure they're hopped up on adrenalin so that they can't pass out. You don't want to soak them too long either- seriously just dip them in the stuff to remove the first few layers of skin.

Then- and I want to make sure you're with me here- you toss them into a pit full of a slurry of lemon juice and rock salt. Don't skimp and get the regular salt, you want rock salt. You got all that? There should be three to four inches of slurry in the pit.

Okay, of course you'll want to give them a rope to climb out of the pit with. A rope made out of strands of barbed wire.
#233 to #6 - iamphoenix (03/22/2013) [-]
They'd have to be in their for a while to get the first few layers off, after which point their nerve endings would be burned off.
User avatar #234 to #233 - Spavaloo (03/22/2013) [-]
Well, you dip them in the acid, take them out, and wait for the film on their skin to do its work. When they have a nice, even layer of chemical burns, you hose them off to remove the excess acid and slide them into the lemon pit.

It would be a tricky thing to get the timing right, so as to preserve enough nerve endings. Might take a few... trial runs.
#235 to #234 - iamphoenix (03/22/2013) [-]
I don't think you quite understand how HCl works. It's not as powerful as you think.
#16 to #6 - jjholt (03/21/2013) [-]
dude that's ****** up
User avatar #49 to #6 - vladhellsing (03/21/2013) [-]
*razor wire

You pussy.
User avatar #67 to #49 - themightymrplow (03/21/2013) [-]
I think he made it barbed wire on purpose because razor wire, being so sharp and them having already lost so much skin, would just slice them. With them pulling their entire weight on it there's a high chance if would slice their hand off. Barbed wire would just hurt like a mother.
User avatar #118 to #6 - buttplugmaster (03/21/2013) [-]
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
User avatar #187 to #6 - spysappinmysasha (03/21/2013) [-]
well the acid part would hurt like no ******* other.

but..and this is just me...does anyone else really just enjoy the sting of, lets say, antibacterial spray on a wound? Or GermX on a cut? just thinking of Lemon juice and salt touching a wound kinda makes me want to feel it.... ya know?
#192 to #187 - frysandaburger (03/21/2013) [-]
Let's play "spot the masochist"!
#214 to #6 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
I think the razor wire - like what ski lifts hang on - would be more effective than barbed wire. There are spaces between the barbs, you see.
User avatar #122 to #6 - modizzzs (03/21/2013) [-]
easy there, satan
User avatar #68 to #6 - themightymrplow (03/21/2013) [-]
I'm a little scared by how many favorites this has. Why do people want to remember this so badly?! o.O
User avatar #20 to #6 - lizardon (03/21/2013) [-]
and if you dont have barbed wire you can also make the rope out of sheeps wool....damn that thing hurts when you pull it on your flesh...i know i have done it to myself
#222 to #6 - pureevil (03/21/2013) [-]
Dude. Seriously...
Dude. Seriously...
#216 to #6 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
Except for dilute hydrochloric acid would take several hours to remove a few layers of skin. Hell even the strong stuff would take a while. Welcome to introduction chemistry. Its not like the movies.
#81 to #6 - knowstoomuch (03/21/2013) [-]
Don't forget to enema them with bullet ants and Burn their anus shut.
User avatar #203 to #6 - trivdiego ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
love your avatar makes this twice as ******* awesome
#179 to #6 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
Why not just peel of the flesh as they did in the medieval, a good executioner could peel a whole body off in 30 seconds - bare in mind this was just for the torture part, they never survived long after that though, a couple of minutes only.
User avatar #72 to #6 - bluedwarf (03/21/2013) [-]
Odakle si?
#13 to #6 - BrotherBaner (03/21/2013) [-]
is wrong with you
#93 to #6 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
You forgot to rub them with gravel after having their skin peeled.
User avatar #58 to #21 - icameheretotroll (03/21/2013) [-]
sadism
User avatar #243 to #58 - Spavaloo (04/14/2013) [-]
Creativity
User avatar #120 - buttplugmaster (03/21/2013) [-]
Funnyjunk is full of ideas for the saw movies. We could keep the series going indefinitely with this **** .
User avatar #154 to #120 - fkepticalsky (03/21/2013) [-]
That would most definitely NOT work, because for one, this is not how Jigsaw works he doesn't just kill and torture people , and two, the traps they're in is most likely related to why they're in the traps in the first place, and I can't think of something someone could have done to be put in salt and lemon juice after being paper cut all over.
#124 to #120 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
I know this is a little off the reservation here, but as an old once-devoted Saw fan, that put a smile on my face. Most of the later movies hardly even scratched the surface of what could have been done with the concept.....if you're as creative a writer as Leigh, James and Darren were, the opportunities for seedy characters to test and taboos to break are simply endless.
#131 to #124 - amberleafwoohoo (03/21/2013) [-]
i would love to read an essay or paper about that.
i would love to read an essay or paper about that.
#133 to #131 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
Not sure if you're being a smartass or serious there.....
#138 to #133 - amberleafwoohoo (03/21/2013) [-]
being completely serious. like, i imagine there are so many horrible things you could do to a person to make them like fear for their life in exquisite ways, yknow? like just how much mental and physical torture a person can actually take.  but yknow. lots of people like that stuff. lots of people.
being completely serious. like, i imagine there are so many horrible things you could do to a person to make them like fear for their life in exquisite ways, yknow? like just how much mental and physical torture a person can actually take. but yknow. lots of people like that stuff. lots of people.
User avatar #143 to #138 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
Ah, I see.....very true. The great thing about Saw, though - and this was lost on a lot of the "torture porn" flicks that imitated it - is that each trap is carefully constructed to mirror each character's flaws. (If you really think about the Reverse Bear Trap, for one, you couldn't even ask for a better metaphor for drug addiction: something heavy, painful and unshakeable hanging over your head, something that could ultimately drive you to kill a friend or relative if only to be rid of it.) If you play your cards right as a writer, there are dozens upon dozens of frightful weaknesses in human nature you could explore; all you need to do is come up with a group of realistic, human characters, with ways for them to interconnect and horrifying traps to reflect and challenge their natures. It's brilliant because it's so simple, and yet it has so much potential for complexity.
#144 to #143 - amberleafwoohoo (03/21/2013) [-]
the complexity is what i love about good horror stories and movies. the thought that everything has deeper levels hat are poignant and real to life - i think also using real-life problems on realistic people is a good basis for a story, one i liked in the couple of saw movies i've seen. the characters are relatable which will always appeal to at least one person in the audience :p
#24 - otakuranger (03/21/2013) [-]
We should make the worst criminals go down a giant cheese grater slide naked into a pool of lemon juice instead of the death penalty.
We should make the worst criminals go down a giant cheese grater slide naked into a pool of lemon juice instead of the death penalty.
#38 to #24 - toughactintinactin (03/21/2013) [-]
Or make them put toothpicks under every toenail and then kick walls
Or make them put toothpicks under every toenail and then kick walls
#52 to #24 - Mesmus (03/21/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#26 to #24 - magnusos (03/21/2013) [-]
To then end up in a ******* pool of tobaco sauce
#25 to #24 - llamadude (03/21/2013) [-]
Or even better, use them as test subjects for new products instead of bunnies. I like cute animals :3
Or even better, use them as test subjects for new products instead of bunnies. I like cute animals :3
#36 to #25 - EdwardNigma (03/21/2013) [-]
Is it wrong if I actually think thats a good idea?

Like, it won't be simple **** like shampoo or something, oh no, that can remain on animals, it's just shampoo, who gives a **** . But like, this can range from "potentially bad" with drug testing to "horrible as **** " with weapon testing.

Crime rates would plummet, the fear of the unknown, the fear of what horrors may await in a testing facility, the fact that if they try to resist, they die, and if they don't, they suffer and MAYBE die.
+4
#149 to #36 - dumerveil has deleted their comment [-]
#229 to #149 - llamadude (03/22/2013) [-]
but the fact that we do these "cruel and unusual punishments" to animals who do not deserve it in the first place is even worse... i say if the animal did the crime, they should get the punishment; humans included
+1
#230 to #229 - dumerveil has deleted their comment [-]
#241 to #230 - llamadude (03/22/2013) [-]
Yea I understand, especially cause the matter is very subjective; a person could feel like I do or a person could feel the complete opposite. I just hate to see maltreatment of the innocent whether it be a bird, dog, or human. I feel as though if you commit a crime, then you lose your basic rights, but that's just my opinion. Kill another, and you deserve to suffer because you took away the basic rights of another.
#125 to #36 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
But if we mistakenly gives em super powers then we got super villain with no super heroes
User avatar #126 to #125 - EdwardNigma (03/21/2013) [-]
If it worked on the criminals, we use the same things on soldiers or something (Who volunteer of course)

I don't think super power drugs only work on criminals.
User avatar #151 to #126 - toosexyforyou (03/21/2013) [-]
TL:DR It is super easy for it to work the first time on the criminal and then never again.

If you know anything about science, you'd know that any slight change/unexpected variable could completely skew your results and that's why every experiment must be recorded and someone else should be able to get the same results as you did multiple times.
#69 to #36 - alexanderh (03/21/2013) [-]
I had a similar idea once. In my opinion, they should earn their freedom if they survive the tests. Of course, not after a single test, but after a couple of different ones. And only people who've gotten the death sentence.
#66 to #36 - triggathepirate (03/21/2013) [-]
Oi oi, I had an idea like that once. I was writing a script once Shhh amateur filmmaker about the government passing a law to do all different types of testing on death row convicts, and the 			*******		 get jacked up on mutated steroids and become superhumans and 			****		, so then they get marines to stop them by giving them the same 			****		. Cheesy but eh
Oi oi, I had an idea like that once. I was writing a script once Shhh amateur filmmaker about the government passing a law to do all different types of testing on death row convicts, and the ******* get jacked up on mutated steroids and become superhumans and **** , so then they get marines to stop them by giving them the same **** . Cheesy but eh
User avatar #196 to #36 - bigmanfifty (03/21/2013) [-]
mini-Hitler in the making
#27 to #25 - calawesome (03/21/2013) [-]
That's the cutest 			*******		 thing I've ever laid my peepers on.
That's the cutest ******* thing I've ever laid my peepers on.
User avatar #71 to #25 - harlequinlove (03/21/2013) [-]
That is the happiest owl I've ever seen.
#35 to #25 - nickotak (03/21/2013) [-]
That's brilliant...
#242 to #25 - anon (03/27/2013) [-]
That's the cutest damn thing I have ever witnessed.
User avatar #101 to #25 - moribus (03/21/2013) [-]
And penis, definetly a penis.
#34 - djgeeza (03/21/2013) [-]
**djgeeza rolled a random image posted in comment #87 at ZING! ** <this probably, I dunno, accidentally deleted my reaction folder :(
#137 to #34 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
what movie is this pic from?
#142 to #137 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
el dorado my rice eating friend....
#110 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know, it's my own damn fault.....

(Seriously, has Jimmy Buffett ever been more appropriate on here?)
#129 to #110 - vonspyder (03/21/2013) [-]
I think you mean my hit song Pina Coladaburg.
#117 to #110 - brothergrimm ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
**** yeah jimmy buffett!
User avatar #57 - garaichu ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
Holy **** , the entire comment section is filled with evil geniuses.

So many horrible tortures. I can practically ******* feel the toothpicks goddamnit!
#37 - tomhefailin (03/21/2013) [-]
is this all the same guy or do people on tumblr all agree to only use uncapitalized letters and no periods?
is this all the same guy or do people on tumblr all agree to only use uncapitalized letters and no periods?
#132 to #37 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
No, they probably just realize it doesn't matter if you use grammar or not on the Internet.
User avatar #168 to #37 - padfoott (03/21/2013) [-]
isnt that gif from the walking dead? maybe?
#215 to #168 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
Yeah, walking dead.
#213 to #168 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
Yup, from one of the early episodes in the prison, when they are fighting the zeds in the riot gear.
User avatar #39 to #37 - redclover (03/21/2013) [-]
people on tumblr all agree to only use uncapitalized letters and no periods
User avatar #40 to #39 - tomhefailin (03/21/2013) [-]
why can we never agree. on anything
User avatar #46 to #40 - naitsabesh ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
Yes we can.
User avatar #47 to #46 - tomhefailin (03/21/2013) [-]
No we can't.
User avatar #48 to #47 - naitsabesh ONLINE (03/21/2013) [-]
Oh yes we can!
User avatar #115 to #48 - buttplugmaster (03/21/2013) [-]
I disagree!
User avatar #159 to #115 - inbardo (03/21/2013) [-]
I don't!
User avatar #77 to #37 - clittyrubquick (03/21/2013) [-]
just want you to know - that's an awesome gif.
#92 to #37 - kinghippoguytwo (03/21/2013) [-]
Dude, where is that gif from? I need to watch/play that game/movie/show as soon as possible!
#224 to #92 - anon (03/21/2013) [-]
The walking dead
#5 - hypex (03/21/2013) [-]
put toothpicks under their toenails and fingernails and have them blindfolded walk around a room with small outcrops in the floor so they constantly kick them

then you peel a lemon so all of its skin is barely cut off, then with one of those vagina opening devices you put it into his/her asshole and then close it so the lemon is still in... any small movement should now make the whole this erupt with lemon juice

now all thats left is to have him run over a field of sharp salt crystals

yes i do see a psychiatrist twice a week if you wonder
User avatar #41 to #5 - Jabberwocky (03/21/2013) [-]
The vagina-opening thing is called a septum, I believe.
User avatar #42 to #41 - Jabberwocky (03/21/2013) [-]
And by septum, I mean speculum.


Please forgive me.
#169 - zacharlfreeman (03/21/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#82 - Reeon (03/21/2013) [-]
I want to play a game
User avatar #7 - viatio (03/21/2013) [-]
I'LL CUT OFF YOUR EYE LIDS AND THROW YOU IN A SALTY POOL OF LEMON JUICE
#190 - rambomanthree (03/21/2013) [-]
I have another idea.

Acquire a large aquarium, and fasten a person in it, tie their arms and legs up with razor wire, and fuse in a blood transfusion... a continuous blood transfusion. then you leave them there for days, as they slowly bleed out drop by drop. But it does nothing. because the blood is also going in as it is going out. Eventually it will fill up the aqaurium. and they will affectivly drown in their own blood.

cool, right?
User avatar #194 to #190 - katypower (03/21/2013) [-]
Bitch, You gave me a new torture Idea.
#167 - zaknafeinbro (03/21/2013) [-]
reminds me of this show
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