Useless Superpowers. this. Is. A. description.. USESLESS SUPERPOWERS' tattie) I l Altro ( jimme. Invisibility in the dark: Ninja Bullet attraction: Get a bunch of friends and a suit of armor. 75% levitation, weigh 1/4 of normal, super jumps. 1 second super  superpowers tags
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#19 - MuffinMan
Reply +27
(03/11/2013) [-]
Invisibility in the dark: Ninja
Bullet attraction: Get a bunch of friends and a suit of armor.
75% levitation, weigh 1/4 of normal, super jumps.
1 second super strength: Punch through walls, 1 hit kill.
#55 - IamSofaKingdom
Reply +13
(03/11/2013) [-]
acid tears=scientific aid   
invis in dark=still cheats night vision goggles   
remote control=what couch potato wouldn't love it?   
fruit=help bad apples make it through school   
trash detection=canadians would love it   
levitation=would help indiana jones avoid floor traps   
lamp=I love lamp   
bullet attraction=secret service, bodyguard   
mind reading=look for what you forgot in your own mind   
hair loss=hair on fire? not a problem.   
hair growth=stuck somewhere cold? albino and avoiding the sun? not a problem   
absorb bad luck=you and friend buy lotto tickets. Friend wins   
Slow mo=budget movie star   
revive bugs=save endangered bug species, worshiped by "green" organizations   
fast aging=make Robin Williams movie "Jack"   
writing=sign contracts you don't intend to honor   
1sec strength=mma/boxing. punches don't need more than one second   
laptop=sit in girls lap (or guys if that's your thing)   
seduce hats=be god of team fortress 2   
desaturation=worked for Megamind.
acid tears=scientific aid
invis in dark=still cheats night vision goggles
remote control=what couch potato wouldn't love it?
fruit=help bad apples make it through school
trash detection=canadians would love it
levitation=would help indiana jones avoid floor traps
lamp=I love lamp
bullet attraction=secret service, bodyguard
mind reading=look for what you forgot in your own mind
hair loss=hair on fire? not a problem.
hair growth=stuck somewhere cold? albino and avoiding the sun? not a problem
absorb bad luck=you and friend buy lotto tickets. Friend wins
Slow mo=budget movie star
revive bugs=save endangered bug species, worshiped by "green" organizations
fast aging=make Robin Williams movie "Jack"
writing=sign contracts you don't intend to honor
1sec strength=mma/boxing. punches don't need more than one second
laptop=sit in girls lap (or guys if that's your thing)
seduce hats=be god of team fortress 2
desaturation=worked for Megamind.
#68 to #55 - yourafaggotharry
Reply +3
(03/11/2013) [-]
lost it at seduce hats
lost it at seduce hats
#64 - deathtrix
Reply +9
(03/11/2013) [-]
Seduce hats...

#8 - chrolt
Reply +9
(03/10/2013) [-]
Communicating with fruit would be awesome. You can bug any place you want with a freakin' apple. Noone would suspect a thing.

You would be an awesome investigator. Break in, any witnesses? Yes the banana saw it all. Homicide, pineapple is prime witness and points out the culprit, case ******* closed!

You'd have to be able to turn it off though, or else watching people eat fruit in public would be distracting.
#9 to #8 - repokov
Reply 0
(03/11/2013) [-]
I've got to admit, when I read your first sentence, I thought this was going to turn into a "Talk dirty to my cucumbers while I..." type deal. But damn, you've got some good points.
#47 to #9 - chrolt
Reply +1
(03/11/2013) [-]
Dude... Eww... This isn't /b/ I got standards.
#66 to #8 - lordadenine
Reply 0
(03/11/2013) [-]
I see one flaw with that...
"Your honor, I'd like to call a witness to the stand"
*Presents witness*
"Detective, that's an apple"
"And he can tell you the entire story!"
#78 to #66 - chrolt
Reply 0
(03/11/2013) [-]
Well yhea okay it's not foolproof, but it will still help catch the culprit.
#61 - samoaspider
Reply +2
(03/11/2013) [-]
1 second super strenght is pretty badass though, imagine getting in a fight and you just hit the opponent once for an instant knockout?
1 second super strenght is pretty badass though, imagine getting in a fight and you just hit the opponent once for an instant knockout?
#62 to #61 - RandomAnonGuy
Reply +5
(03/11/2013) [-]
He's lifting a ******* CAR.
A punch of that magnitude wouldn't knock someone out, it'd separate them into several pieces.
#85 to #62 - samoaspider
Reply +2
(03/11/2013) [-]
That too
#18 - lordraine
Reply +4
(03/11/2013) [-]
>revive bugs
>useless
You serious? There were spiders the size of goddamn tires and dragonflies the size of eagles in ancient times. That's not useless. That's ******* terrifying.

It's like that oldsauce joke about how if Spiderman shot spiders out of his wrists instead of webs, there would be no crime in New York.

If I had that power, then anyone who robbed a bank would get dragged off into the nearest manhole by centipedes longer than your ******* car.

That's necromancy PLUS giant bugs. I'm a supervillain to the third goddamn power.
#92 - squidamon
Reply +3
(03/11/2013) [-]
>1 Second Super Strength
>Become a Boxer
> activate power while throwing first punch
> KO
>Acquire Wenches
#102 - Rileto
Reply +2
(03/11/2013) [-]
1 second super strength, ****** awesome. Revive dead bugs, ****** awesome. Invisibility in the dark, still pretty ****** awesome.
#96 - Lbomb ONLINE
Reply 0
(03/11/2013) [-]
ability to turn gold into silver
ability to turn gold into silver
#97 to #96 - slendevara
Reply 0
(03/11/2013) [-]
well silver is atleast a stronger metal
#98 to #96 - jafkdb
Reply +2
(03/11/2013) [-]
That powers' usefulness is directly proportional to the amount of vampires and werewolves around.
#89 - joeyliquid
Reply +2
(03/11/2013) [-]
One's that i can see are useful; Invisibility in the dark(You would actually be now fully invisible and not detectable by night-vision etc), control remote control(you can be lazy and not move to use the remote and you might be able to infiltrate buildings via their remote controls), read your own mind(you would have better usage over your mind and hence more intelligence), revive bugs(bug overlord), 1 second super strength(It could only take a second to threw a super punch).