Giggidy. I read this in Gilbert Godfried's voice Source is expreacher on facebook.. "'Sail!" Mary gasped. 'Sail into my uterus!' Joseph proceeded to unpack and assemble his new sailing boat he got from IKEA for an excellent price. 'Hu Giggidy I read this in Gilbert Godfried's voice Source is expreacher on facebook "'Sail!" Mary gasped 'Sail into my uterus!' Joseph proceeded to unpack and assemble his new sailing boat he got from IKEA for an excellent price 'Hu
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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#70 - grandmabetty
Reply +62 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
"'Sail!" Mary gasped. 'Sail into my uterus!' Joseph proceeded to unpack and assemble his new sailing boat he got from IKEA for an excellent price. 'Hurry up Joseph before I have my ******* period' announced Mary in passionate desperation. Ceasing his craft and whittling, Joseph dared not to delay Mary's embellishing lust for him any longer. With haste, he sets the sails and shifts the unfinished yacht into turbo mode with its 8 litre W16 engine and mashes the throttle. Jesus appears before him and farts with astonishing force unto the sails, causing Joseph to accelerate from 0-60 in 500 milliseconds. A little poo came out and stained the fabric, but Joseph was far too overwhelmed at the fact he was about to go up Mary's vagina at 180 miles per hour. Faster than a Rwandan man can do squat thrusts in a potato field, Joseph disappeared into Mary's cave of righteousnesses. 'PRAISE BE THE LORD I'VE BEEN SAVED' muffled Joseph, blasting gospel from his boat's 500 watt sound system inside the pussy of Mary."

- Jezza 70:9823
#92 to #70 - jarofdirt
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
#124 to #70 - furtehlulz
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
I logged in just to thumb and fav this gem of a comment you saucy bastard
#126 to #70 - jamesrustler
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
That was so damn funny   
   
I award you a coveted Gamer Poop gif
That was so damn funny

I award you a coveted Gamer Poop gif
#125 to #70 - ltpraptor
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#71 to #70 - obesefury
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
I just snorted milk out my nose and proceeded to laugh so hard no sound came out and I just sat there clapping like a retarded seal.  Thanks for the laugh, you have my thumb!
I just snorted milk out my nose and proceeded to laugh so hard no sound came out and I just sat there clapping like a retarded seal. Thanks for the laugh, you have my thumb!
#75 to #70 - crazyolitis
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
This just made my day so much better!
This just made my day so much better!
#1 - bossauce
Reply +45 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
**** you OP   
You made me read it in Gilbert Godfried's voice too
**** you OP
You made me read it in Gilbert Godfried's voice too
#3 to #1 - teranin [OP]
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
good, good....
good, good....
#43 - felixjarl
Reply +24 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
Somewhere somehow someone did make a porn based on that quote.
User avatar #134 to #43 - masterboll
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
source
or it didnt happen
#2 - iamtheblackgoat
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
Emissions like horses?
Emissions like horses?
#91 to #2 - anon id: 6f24e777
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
I'm pretty sure it means horse cum
#7 to #2 - garagesale **User deleted account**
+8 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#4 to #2 - teranin [OP]
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
I have another gif of that scene
I have another gif of that scene
#95 - bigboyblue
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
“Then the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of the earth. “Come, let us make our father drink wine, and let us lie with him that we may preserve our family through our father.” So they made their father drink wine that night, and the firstborn went in and lay with her father; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. On the following day, the firstborn said to the younger, “Behold, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve our family through our father.” So they made their father drink wine that night also, and the younger arose and lay with him; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.” Gen. 19:31-35
“Then the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of the earth. “Come, let us make our father drink wine, and let us lie with him that we may preserve our family through our father.” So they made their father drink wine that night, and the firstborn went in and lay with her father; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. On the following day, the firstborn said to the younger, “Behold, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve our family through our father.” So they made their father drink wine that night also, and the younger arose and lay with him; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.” Gen. 19:31-35
#115 - rstickman
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Bless it is he who in the name of charity and good will, Shepherd the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brothers keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the lord, when I lay my vengeance upon you
#118 to #115 - anon id: dcd461f2
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
************, coming up in here quoting Pulp fiction like that expecting a cheap ass thumb. Knowing damn well we will.
#129 to #115 - pulluspardus
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#130 to #115 - pulluspardus
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
#133 to #115 - palindromia
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
Blessed is he*
User avatar #59 - mayormilkman
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
We all have already heard of that one. Come up with something new.
#60 to #59 - teranin [OP]
Reply -15 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
...It's a bible quote. Kind of hard to come up with new **** from a book that hasn't changed significantly in over 1000 years.
...It's a bible quote. Kind of hard to come up with new **** from a book that hasn't changed significantly in over 1000 years.
#61 to #60 - mayormilkman
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
#62 to #61 - teranin [OP]
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
Heh. Church of England joke.
User avatar #105 to #62 - screwyouman
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
Is it because they take order from a religious leader than a proper leader?
#106 to #105 - teranin [OP]
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
Kinda. it's a joke on the church of england because they broke off from catholicism, did away with a papacy and made their monarchs the equivalent of their versions of pontiffs.
User avatar #107 to #106 - screwyouman
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
Well depending on the Popes' way of thinking, that's like putting a shark in charge of a chum factory.
#63 to #62 - holeymoley
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
User avatar #104 to #63 - screwyouman
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
Is that from angel beats?
User avatar #132 to #104 - holeymoley
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
nope, to aru majutsu no insex
#66 - nightroller
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
Go down to 23:25    
   
25 I will direct my jealous anger against you, and they will deal with you in fury. They will cut off your noses and your ears, and those of you who are left will fall by the sword. They will take away your sons and daughters, and those of you who are left will be consumed by fire.
Go down to 23:25

25 I will direct my jealous anger against you, and they will deal with you in fury. They will cut off your noses and your ears, and those of you who are left will fall by the sword. They will take away your sons and daughters, and those of you who are left will be consumed by fire.
#77 - robertolee
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(03/08/2013) [-]
"...And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you!"

Samuel L Jackson
#94 - infinitereaper
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(03/09/2013) [-]
I don't remember the exact verse or translation but it won't something like this:   
   
"He spilled his jizz on the floor because he was frustrated the other dude got with the cousin or sister or female or whatever so god got pissed cuz he was like 'ew **** you' and he killed him."   
   
Apparently though shall not masturbate.
I don't remember the exact verse or translation but it won't something like this:

"He spilled his jizz on the floor because he was frustrated the other dude got with the cousin or sister or female or whatever so god got pissed cuz he was like 'ew **** you' and he killed him."

Apparently though shall not masturbate.