Boner hiding apparatus. <=== click for BIG BOOBS. File: 135889659244% (26 KB, 450x450, aicha, jpg) Beta story ..- we IT sat party vsuper drunk agirl that I k
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Boner hiding apparatus

File: 135889659244% (26 KB, 450x450, aicha, jpg)
Beta story ..-
we IT
sat party
vsuper drunk
agirl that I know likes me is there
were start dancing and grinding
aha asks me to earns upstairs
met thinking. surewhynot
met in a ream
sshe pulls down my pants
iforgot I still had my boner hiding apparatus an from school
aha sees it
bruns downstairs
stalls eberyone at school
**** mylife
And yes I am still a virgin-.
A tampon put into my anus with the string tied around my penis, it keeps it from sticking
...
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+1262
Views: 83350
Favorited: 98
Submitted: 03/05/2013
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Comments(237):

[ 237 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#18 - captainwow (03/05/2013) [-]
I've got enough material to make a pretty sizeable beta thread...if others wanna contriboot.
User avatar #56 to #18 - ferrettamer (03/06/2013) [-]
She kind of looks like my cousin in that picture. Well, when my cousin was younger
User avatar #59 to #18 - yojo ONLINE (03/06/2013) [-]
I remember favoriting a comment of yours from a previous beta thread that you posted.
User avatar #62 to #59 - captainwow (03/06/2013) [-]
Yeah I got a lot...I was hoping to see what other people had though, and I'm trying not to post too many of the same one. Like the Xbox live message or Moses Garza.
User avatar #178 to #18 - pokemonstheshiz (03/06/2013) [-]
dear god she is beautiful
#199 to #178 - ookichinchindesu (03/06/2013) [-]
text me
#226 to #18 - notatroll (03/06/2013) [-]
no homo, but by the look of juans profile pick, he is handsome
as hell.
User avatar #242 to #18 - thelegitmetalhead (03/06/2013) [-]
Pls respond
#27 to #18 - betta (03/05/2013) [-]
Nothing to do here...
#64 to #18 - masri (03/06/2013) [-]
beat this...
#81 to #64 - ohgodmysides (03/06/2013) [-]
Oh my god, I could nearly hear his heart crack and break
Oh my god, I could nearly hear his heart crack and break
User avatar #75 to #64 - albinodogcrap (03/06/2013) [-]
Holy **** , that is so beta I felt bad.
#93 to #75 - mrhaihoang (03/06/2013) [-]
****		, no, noooo,  this is just too much
**** , no, noooo, this is just too much
User avatar #86 to #64 - mrfop (03/06/2013) [-]
Wow, I normally find beta funny but... **** me... I played it out in my head as my own girlfriend doing it and my heart sank, let alone his... **** .
#83 to #64 - fairyprincess (03/06/2013) [-]
What a ******* bitch
#79 to #64 - rjgnal ONLINE (03/06/2013) [-]
i actually played this in my head and i must say it upset me more than other ****** up 4chan stories
User avatar #96 to #64 - anonymouzx (03/06/2013) [-]
I wish I didn't read that one.
#71 to #64 - captainwow (03/06/2013) [-]
Oh....my.
#188 to #64 - battlesmurf (03/06/2013) [-]
I actually feel sick reading that. Like physically sick, I almost threw up at the end. That is perhaps the most ****** up thing I've ever read on the Internet. The only thing stopping me from not crying is convincing myself that it's fake.

God, I just want to punch her in her ******* stomach.
#105 to #64 - boredomavenger (03/06/2013) [-]
that made my heart sink so low it almost fell out of my asshole...

having been lurking /b/ and /adv/ for a year or two I would think I'd read every heart-wrenchingly beta moments thread enough to not be fazed by this but it honestly hit be incredibly hard. I don't even know what to feel about anything anymore.
User avatar #110 to #105 - nebuchadnezzaurus (03/06/2013) [-]
It makes it that much better when you realize that like most stories on there, it's not real
#112 to #110 - boredomavenger (03/06/2013) [-]
I know most of them aren't real, but I haven't gotten to the point where I can suppress human empathy even under fictional circumstances.

plus, I really just hope it isn't real, because I would feel even worse if it turned out to actually be a true story...
User avatar #98 to #64 - usernameluisdjlols (03/06/2013) [-]
im probably gonna have to go to the hospital now because im having trouble breathing from how much that one hurt me physically
+9
#120 to #64 - tripflys **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #108 to #64 - nillabonbon (03/06/2013) [-]
That made my heart hurt.
User avatar #99 to #64 - scooterpony (03/06/2013) [-]
Oh God. That was painful. Not in the normal beta way though. My heart is sad now.
#139 to #64 - greenthegunstar (03/06/2013) [-]
I thought this was going to be funny...





This wasn't funny...






This wasn't funny at all...

User avatar #113 to #64 - grotesquelettuce (03/06/2013) [-]
I choked (hue). That was painful to read
#131 to #64 - brettyht (03/06/2013) [-]
I won't go beta, but I will counter this with an alpha story.

I am not sure who I blame more in this situation. The guy who would not stand up for the dignity of his girlfriend, or the girlfriend who has no dignity to be stood up for.

Or alcohol. Probably alcohol. Time for another Prohibiti-
#134 to #131 - masri (03/06/2013) [-]
i actually that post saved, in turn have this
id say this is more alpha than beta
#161 to #131 - andypanda (03/06/2013) [-]
thanks, this story made me feel much better lol
#144 to #131 - greenthegunstar (03/06/2013) [-]
This...this is just grand...

This made me feel so much better after reading that last story. Thank you, brettyht
0
#143 to #131 - greenthegunstar has deleted their comment [-]
#171 to #64 - sammyjankiis (03/06/2013) [-]
This pisses me off actually and makes me very sad.  Not beta at all his gf is a big 			******		 slut.
This pisses me off actually and makes me very sad. Not beta at all his gf is a big ****** slut.
#114 to #64 - spacestalin (03/06/2013) [-]
oh God...   
I thought my life was pathetic, but OMG, this makes me look like Donald Trump in a yacht surrounded by hot blondes    
oh God...   
I can't even   
how can you even...?   
a part of me wishes this is fake, a person can't be this... Weak
oh God...
I thought my life was pathetic, but OMG, this makes me look like Donald Trump in a yacht surrounded by hot blondes
oh God...
I can't even
how can you even...?
a part of me wishes this is fake, a person can't be this... Weak
User avatar #159 to #64 - gnillort (03/06/2013) [-]
Guys if you imagine the girl really fat and ugly, the feel isn't so bad anymore. Just think "oh, it's not that big of a loss anyway."
#121 to #64 - DrPeppir (03/06/2013) [-]
oh god why
i hope she gets aids
+3
#123 to #121 - tripflys **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#126 to #123 - DrPeppir (03/06/2013) [-]
...hold me.
...hold me.
+2
#128 to #126 - tripflys **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#208 to #123 - rambomanthree (03/06/2013) [-]
MFW my story is worse than that one...

I demand a group hug from all of you in this thread
+1
#237 to #208 - tripflys **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #66 to #64 - xRocxNM (03/06/2013) [-]
wow
#180 to #64 - chibides ONLINE (03/06/2013) [-]
All the beta's above is hilarious, I did not expect this little text to suddenly make me so 			*******		 sad.
All the beta's above is hilarious, I did not expect this little text to suddenly make me so ******* sad.
+3
#234 to #64 - recio **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#118 to #64 - FuckingLugia (03/06/2013) [-]
ouch... I think I would kill her
#224 to #64 - anon (03/06/2013) [-]
wtf ? that is ******* sad
User avatar #173 to #64 - swedz (03/06/2013) [-]
How about he actually layed a hard punch in his face, knocking him down, and then slapping his ****** gf?

Pussy
#182 to #64 - anothergun (03/06/2013) [-]
His feel when.
#158 to #64 - anon (03/06/2013) [-]
god damn it guys respect her as a woman!!
#205 to #64 - rambomanthree (03/06/2013) [-]
That feel when you had a simmilar story but not even a life and i've never been to a party   
   
My story:   
>meet 9/10 girl user here on FJ who likes the same 			****		 as me and lives only like 2 hours away   
>Fall madly in love with her   
>GF turns every little thing around on me and makes me look like the bad guy   
>too beta to call her on anything because she was stubborn and hard headed as 			****		   
>GF gets into "im about to break up with you mode" gets one work responses and never acts interested   
>about to go see her on new years end up having to tell her i am running late because my mom was put in the hospital   
>Tells her i might not be able to make it   
>GF: its ok, i dont want you here. i need to take a break. I was going to break up with you after you left   
>i bought the bitch a ring and was going to propose to her at midnight   
>fast foreward to that night   
>phone rings   
>hears noise in background   
>she is at a party and i can clearly here what is going on   
>GF is getting 			******		 by 2 guys at once.   
>GF then leaves you to suffer and leaves you in relationship purgatory for months. talking to you less and less because she has a life. and will soon be a rich actor/model and will be happy and make more money than i ever will.   
   
MFW that story did nothing but remind me of this...
That feel when you had a simmilar story but not even a life and i've never been to a party

My story:
>meet 9/10 girl user here on FJ who likes the same **** as me and lives only like 2 hours away
>Fall madly in love with her
>GF turns every little thing around on me and makes me look like the bad guy
>too beta to call her on anything because she was stubborn and hard headed as ****
>GF gets into "im about to break up with you mode" gets one work responses and never acts interested
>about to go see her on new years end up having to tell her i am running late because my mom was put in the hospital
>Tells her i might not be able to make it
>GF: its ok, i dont want you here. i need to take a break. I was going to break up with you after you left
>i bought the bitch a ring and was going to propose to her at midnight
>fast foreward to that night
>phone rings
>hears noise in background
>she is at a party and i can clearly here what is going on
>GF is getting ****** by 2 guys at once.
>GF then leaves you to suffer and leaves you in relationship purgatory for months. talking to you less and less because she has a life. and will soon be a rich actor/model and will be happy and make more money than i ever will.

MFW that story did nothing but remind me of this...
#239 to #64 - phuckinthingsucks (03/06/2013) [-]
The first time I read this, I couldn't sleep for like days. I was so angry all I could do was rage.
The first time I read this, I couldn't sleep for like days. I was so angry all I could do was rage.
0
#119 to #64 - DrPeppir has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #55 to #18 - blademontane (03/06/2013) [-]
pls respond
User avatar #116 to #55 - clockworkhearts (03/06/2013) [-]
vocaroo.com/i/s0yErTl9ebEX

Just listen. The guy's from /r9k/
#162 to #116 - Haiku (03/06/2013) [-]
He's playing a 			*************		 Steve Burns song. As in 			*************		 Steve from 			*************		 Blue's 			*************		 Clues.
He's playing a ************* Steve Burns song. As in ************* Steve from ************* Blue's ************* Clues.
#133 to #18 - TheSchwartz (03/06/2013) [-]
I've got one.
#238 to #18 - ykaliber ONLINE (03/06/2013) [-]
TEXT ME
#147 to #18 - anon (03/06/2013) [-]
Be 11, 5th grade. New to school people thought I was odd, be total loner. Girl comes up to me one day during lunch says "Hey anon wanna sit together?" "sure." Fast Forward.
Be 18 last day of senior year, highschool. Girl and I are best friends and by now we've built up immense feelings for each other but we're too scared to admit it . Me and my friends are invited to an end of the year party. At party see girl away from party not really talking to anyone. Go and talk to her. Start chattn' up and having a great time when people start leaving. Walk outside with girl and her friend (She and her friend were carpool buddies). Friend goes off to get car just me and Girl. "Hey anon thanks for entertaining me back at the party". I shrug. Awkward moment of silence... She moves closer to try and kiss me; out of betaness and intimidation I back away. Friend comes back and they drive away. Next day try emailing her to apologize she didn't respond.

Now be Junior in college: Still no reply...
#164 to #147 - pipsqueakaso (03/06/2013) [-]
You do whatever you can to contact her and set things straight.
You do whatever you can to contact her and set things straight.
#107 to #100 - liberator (03/06/2013) [-]
That last line really bummed me out.
User avatar #217 to #63 - deadrifler (03/06/2013) [-]
pls





sorry couldn't resist.
User avatar #216 to #63 - deadrifler (03/06/2013) [-]
why don't you talk to me anymore? pls, text me.
User avatar #215 to #63 - deadrifler (03/06/2013) [-]
pls text me.

User avatar #49 to #18 - darkdragonswrath (03/06/2013) [-]
What's the point of blocking that one name
User avatar #40 to #18 - Rockycrack (03/05/2013) [-]
YES, this thread is gold
#53 to #18 - Tatou (03/06/2013) [-]
so....did she text him?
#20 to #18 - captainwow (03/05/2013) [-]
Alrighty then, guess this thread dies here.
#21 to #20 - abaraxus (03/05/2013) [-]
Nay friend. My gift to you.
#46 to #21 - dchamp (03/05/2013) [-]
i've got a couple to add
User avatar #72 to #48 - mustlol (03/06/2013) [-]
WHY DID YOU STOP
#54 to #47 - Tatou (03/06/2013) [-]
wow not even a response...wow
#70 to #46 - allion (03/06/2013) [-]
oh jesus that's creepy
oh jesus that's creepy
User avatar #160 to #70 - sammyjankiis (03/06/2013) [-]
I think i just found my new favortite gif
User avatar #25 to #24 - abaraxus (03/05/2013) [-]
So beta it's radioactive.
User avatar #152 to #21 - zerokiller (03/06/2013) [-]
That guy's an idiot. I mean she's all like "we should do something sometime." He was in, he could have had sex with her but he's all like 'U wan sum fuk?" I mean seriously what kind of jackass just assumes she wants to have sex with you because she said she "wanted to do something."
#42 to #21 - nlogax (03/05/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#51 to #21 - knowstoomuch (03/06/2013) [-]
This one is of a kid getting trolled by a girl This isn't beta so much as FeelsBitems Frog.
User avatar #153 to #51 - zerokiller (03/06/2013) [-]
No it's his fault. He assumed she wanted to have sex with him because she said "Wanna do something sometime." "You mean like sex? I have condoms and I'm a complete jack ass."
#28 to #21 - anon (03/05/2013) [-]
oh my god...
User avatar #26 to #21 - grocer (03/05/2013) [-]
I'm sure that is good, but I don't know which bits to read first :(
#67 to #20 - allion (03/06/2013) [-]
don't worry I have some to share!
#89 to #69 - ICEDgrunge (03/06/2013) [-]
These 			*******		 posts make me feel so good about myself, I must be doing something right if I haven't stooped to a "plz respond" low.
These ******* posts make me feel so good about myself, I must be doing something right if I haven't stooped to a "plz respond" low.
User avatar #97 to #89 - usernameluisdjlols (03/06/2013) [-]
...i've reached that low before..
User avatar #102 to #97 - ICEDgrunge (03/06/2013) [-]
Well I'm sorry then man. Sincerely. I hope you've gotten past that though man, that's not a fun place to be when you have to resort to that.
User avatar #84 to #69 - billysmall (03/06/2013) [-]
I'm adding this kid on facebook
User avatar #87 to #84 - allion (03/06/2013) [-]
if he accepts let me know
User avatar #88 to #87 - billysmall (03/06/2013) [-]
It says "This user already has to many friend requests lololol.
User avatar #90 to #88 - allion (03/06/2013) [-]
I should have guessed. damn it!
#201 to #69 - rambomanthree (03/06/2013) [-]
This actually makes me sad...

I would have been friends with him.
User avatar #78 to #69 - captainwow (03/06/2013) [-]
Moses Garza, King of Feels! Bless you sir
User avatar #154 to #67 - YllekNayr ONLINE (03/06/2013) [-]
Oh.
Gosh.
No.

This is PAINFUL to read.
#157 to #67 - andypanda (03/06/2013) [-]
this post just made me feel bad...
#57 to #20 - chadington (03/06/2013) [-]
The plz respond always kills me
#136 to #20 - greenthegunstar (03/06/2013) [-]
God-DAMN, these are just...painful to read
#22 to #20 - arandomanon (03/05/2013) [-]
I wish I could but I can't contriboot. However, I must say that those 2 are pretty sad.
#34 to #31 - arandomanon (03/05/2013) [-]
I don't know wether to laugh or to cry at these.
#38 to #34 - captainwow (03/05/2013) [-]
Why not both?
User avatar #61 to #38 - pianoasis (03/06/2013) [-]
naah that's just autism
#94 to #38 - lamarisagoodname (03/06/2013) [-]
Dumb girls acting superior
User avatar #246 to #94 - trivdiego (08/11/2014) [-]
he was being creepy as **** no lie. You just can;t really talk like that to a girl you obviously aren't even close with
#91 to #31 - mrhaihoang (03/06/2013) [-]
pls   
no
pls
no
User avatar #60 to #31 - pianoasis (03/06/2013) [-]
oh come on, that one's on purpose
User avatar #166 to #31 - xtrem (03/06/2013) [-]
******* bitch with "uhmm" " eh " responses
Speech-dumb girls drives me insane , just say what you feel damnit
#183 to #166 - anon (03/06/2013) [-]
Girl speech 101: If the text says "uhmm" she's uncomfortable.

Don't ask why I know that.
User avatar #186 to #183 - xtrem (03/06/2013) [-]
i can't find the "Girl speech 101" book on piratebay :(
#194 to #186 - anon (03/06/2013) [-]
The entirety of piratebay couldn't hold all those terabytes, my friend.
User avatar #196 to #194 - xtrem (03/06/2013) [-]
not sure if same anon but if it is then how the heck you follow up ?
#198 to #196 - anon (03/06/2013) [-]
I occasionally get sent back here when posts get thumbed down or up ending up with me going through the same 15-20 posts 5+ times.

I just check the comments now and then.
User avatar #168 to #166 - xtrem (03/06/2013) [-]
The beta speech is funny tho
User avatar #37 to #30 - onkii (03/05/2013) [-]
lmfao that one is just sad
#241 to #30 - vikingfaen (03/06/2013) [-]
"Oh haha"
"Oh haha"
0
#43 to #30 - boylan has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #80 to #29 - ocnamesaregone (03/06/2013) [-]
That guy finally got to date the girl in the end
User avatar #245 to #80 - trivdiego (08/11/2014) [-]
source?
User avatar #247 to #245 - ocnamesaregone (08/11/2014) [-]
Dude, you can't just ask for source A YEAR FIVE MONTHS after I say something. I aint no jesus
User avatar #248 to #247 - trivdiego (08/11/2014) [-]
hey man I'm sorry traffic was crazy
#74 - darthblam ONLINE (03/06/2013) [-]
#36 - retrochris (03/05/2013) [-]
A quick sketch, explaining why taping your wood to one of your legs wouldn't be a good solution either.
User avatar #1 - JimmyJongo (03/05/2013) [-]
proxy thumbing?
User avatar #41 to #1 - zerositnator (03/05/2013) [-]
Yes, now back to the PokeBoard.
#209 to #1 - EvilApples (03/06/2013) [-]
Did not realise people hired others to thumb their **** up.
#2 to #1 - felixjarl ONLINE (03/05/2013) [-]
Yes.
User avatar #222 to #2 - theflamingfire (03/06/2013) [-]
What if you click the link what is it?
#23 to #2 - wazapdude (03/05/2013) [-]
dude that image section in the pic isn't related to the picture above . (not saying it isn't proxy thumbing though)
User avatar #3 to #2 - JimmyJongo (03/05/2013) [-]
The lengths people go to, to advertise their **** .
#4 to #3 - felixjarl ONLINE (03/05/2013) [-]
Check it out, there is some 8 content on newest uploads with some insane thumb-views scales. All by these 3 guys.
+12
#82 - txsslg **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#203 - lazysuzan (03/06/2013) [-]
**lazysuzan rolled a random image posted in comment #13 at Well, That's That **

HOW I HIDE BONERS
User avatar #204 to #203 - lazysuzan (03/06/2013) [-]
oh... ****
#130 - potatotown (03/06/2013) [-]
Girls face when
Girls face when
#191 - alilmetalkid (03/06/2013) [-]
related?
User avatar #233 to #191 - SammieSama (03/06/2013) [-]
Why... Just why...
#6 - mattdoggy ONLINE (03/05/2013) [-]
Forget to remove boner hiding device
Fail penis inspection day
User avatar #8 to #6 - akg **User deleted account** (03/05/2013) [-]
...Is the question "What was the top comment last time this was posted?"
User avatar #13 to #8 - mattdoggy ONLINE (03/05/2013) [-]
...Is the question "was i the person that posted that comment"
i always post this comment any time i get the chance
User avatar #14 to #6 - varke (03/05/2013) [-]
I want someone to roll this comment
User avatar #45 - biggrand (03/05/2013) [-]
am i the only person here who dosent give a **** if i have an erection in public? the 0only time it's ever really awkward for me is around my parents.
#101 to #45 - anon (03/06/2013) [-]
I want to watch you walk through Wal Mart which a raging hard on in basket ball shorts.
0
#236 to #45 - recio **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#65 to #45 - senorfrog (03/06/2013) [-]
Exactly, and if you do have a boner in front of a girl and she sees it she should be happy or she should be happy and on her knees.
Exactly, and if you do have a boner in front of a girl and she sees it she should be happy or she should be happy and on her knees.
#190 - josieabby (03/06/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#109 - misteranthropic **User deleted account** (03/06/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #221 - DropDeadShred (03/06/2013) [-]
I just sport my boner proudly. Because if a chick spots it you can just do some sexist jokes like, my eyes are up here, and all that sort of thing and if a dude spots it I can just do jokes about him being gay.
0
#214 - danzeebass **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #223 to #214 - voiceless ONLINE (03/06/2013) [-]
So how exactly do dead kittens help you with not having a boner?
0
#240 to #223 - danzeebass **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #227 to #214 - EvilNutter (03/06/2013) [-]
i tried that, but the thought made me even harder
#149 - rollcore (03/06/2013) [-]
**rollcore rolled a random image posted in comment #68 at Decisions, Decisions... **
+4
#169 - Kaoz **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#127 - phanact (03/06/2013) [-]
This image has expired
"Maybe if I proxy up my content, people on FJ will think I'm funny!"

Go home, proxyfag

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