ouch!!!!. The kiwi is a flightless bird found only in New Zealand. They're around the size of a chicken, and lay the largest eggs in relation to their body size Damn
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ouch!!!!

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ouch!!!!. The kiwi is a flightless bird found only in New Zealand. They're around the size of a chicken, and lay the largest eggs in relation to their body size

The kiwi is a flightless bird found only in New Zealand. They're around the size of a chicken, and lay the largest eggs in relation to their body size of any bird in the world. Their eggs can be up to 20% of the females body weight - the equivalent of a 130 pound woman giving birth to a 26 pound baby.

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Submitted: 03/02/2013
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Comments(71):

[ 71 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - bamboole (03/02/2013) [-]
KIWI? I just see a skeleton and an egg
User avatar #23 - neoexdeath (03/03/2013) [-]
According to the Old Testament, Childbirth hurts so much has a consequence of Original Sin. Eve ate from the tree, and God punished her, in part, with that.

Which brings me to my question

What the **** did that bird do to cheese off God?
User avatar #43 to #23 - largilloquent (03/03/2013) [-]
sucked at life?
#66 to #23 - anon (03/03/2013) [-]
Or, maybe, it hurts so much because you're pushing something the size of a ******* small watermelon out of your snatch. :V
User avatar #68 to #23 - pocoloco (03/03/2013) [-]
****** his mom?
#25 to #23 - anon (03/03/2013) [-]
God doesn't exist.
#62 to #25 - anon (03/03/2013) [-]
Shhh! Don't let them know that lest they become intelligent!
User avatar #50 to #25 - ayenon (03/03/2013) [-]
no
User avatar #52 to #23 - aussiepridevil (03/03/2013) [-]
i heart kiwi's simply for they're the most retarded. my dog tried to eat one of my kiwi's and instead of running away it just hopped on top of my dogs back while my dog was going *******

they are derp in it's purest form.
User avatar #55 to #23 - kirkbot ONLINE (03/03/2013) [-]
also, men were charged with having to work on fields, facing blood, sweat and tears.
I see how a lot of men are not being punished by god anymore, but women still are
User avatar #24 to #23 - ragingflamingos (03/03/2013) [-]
Crapped on Tree of Knowledge?
User avatar #28 - yoloswaggins (03/03/2013) [-]
New Zealand: Our national animal is an endangered, semi-blind, flightless, nocturnal bird which eats worms and insects.

**** yeah New Zealand!
User avatar #4 - wambamtymama (03/02/2013) [-]
live in new Zealand here guys. Ok no jokes the kiwi is like your ****** retarded brother. cant do anything right and allways need your help. they cant do **** . worst bird ever
#7 to #4 - waffies (03/02/2013) [-]
Kiwi is my favorite bird, Kakapo is my second favorite.    
   
These are two of the most useless, defenseless birds existing... but they are the best birds
Kiwi is my favorite bird, Kakapo is my second favorite.

These are two of the most useless, defenseless birds existing... but they are the best birds
#34 to #7 - greeneggs (03/03/2013) [-]
yeah, but New Zealand's kea bird can really **** up your car. They are real assholes.
User avatar #42 to #34 - waffies (03/03/2013) [-]
Yup, windsheild breaking birds right?
#71 to #42 - felixjarl ONLINE (03/03/2013) [-]
I was kinda waiting to find you here, happy to see that i was not disappointed.
#48 to #7 - herpaderpasaur (03/03/2013) [-]
so would a dodo bird be your third favorite?
#26 - hugsta (03/03/2013) [-]
#29 - motherfuckingkenji (03/03/2013) [-]
Now imagine you are that bird.   
Imagine shoving that huge thing out your bird vagina.   
   
Wouldn't feel very good, now would it?
Now imagine you are that bird.
Imagine shoving that huge thing out your bird vagina.


Wouldn't feel very good, now would it?
#54 to #29 - anon (03/03/2013) [-]
Actually it doesn't hurt them that much. Their genitalia was made to do this so it is highly stretchable.
Hurts as much as it hurts a chicken laying an egg.
#2 - gayboard (03/02/2013) [-]
So cwute. c:
#59 - Loppytaffy (03/03/2013) [-]
And I thank Humon for already knowing this.
#64 to #59 - triggathepirate (03/03/2013) [-]
I'm not sure about this one...
#18 - Mahazama (03/03/2013) [-]
When I hear Kiwi....
#65 - repugnantpug (03/03/2013) [-]
it's cuz we ******* lift!
#72 to #65 - anon (03/03/2013) [-]
It's because you poo
#69 - felixjarl ONLINE (03/03/2013) [-]
User avatar #61 - cazabrow ONLINE (03/03/2013) [-]
dat ass..
User avatar #5 - misticalz ONLINE (03/02/2013) [-]
No no no.

That is a Moa. They were a giant species of bird from New Zealand that died several hundred years ago

Somebody please remember this thread.
User avatar #10 to #5 - heretofuckshitup (03/03/2013) [-]
you're wrong moa were much larger. that is in fact a kiwi
User avatar #11 to #5 - jegstalkerdig (03/03/2013) [-]
A Moa doesn't have a long beak. And if you search on google for a little while, you'll know that the bird on the picture is a Kiwi.
User avatar #9 to #5 - retris (03/03/2013) [-]
you're wrong

That is a Moa. They were a giant species of bird from New Zealand that died several hundred years ago
#12 to #5 - blackcmedia (03/03/2013) [-]
Seeing as a Moa is ******* gigantic, has a neck like a giraffe, and as short beak. I would have to say that is a Kiwi. Also being a New Zealander I think I would be able to recognize our national bird.
User avatar #14 to #5 - tigersstripes (03/03/2013) [-]
ok ok guys calm down, I'm sorry once or twice telling him he's wrong is enough, five? that's over board.



prepare for the onslaught
User avatar #15 to #14 - misticalz ONLINE (03/03/2013) [-]
No one remembers the thread :(
User avatar #19 to #16 - tigersstripes (03/03/2013) [-]
oh i never even saw that. nice.
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#17 to #16 - misticalz has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #22 - rdangerdash ONLINE (03/03/2013) [-]
Kiwis are cute but they are also pathetic and really good at dying. Seriously, they need to be looked after constantly so the entire species doesn't die out. Kea, on the other hand, are badasses who are considered to be one of the worlds smartest birds and spend a lot of their spare time ******* with humans and destroying their stuff.
#30 to #22 - anon (03/03/2013) [-]
It's called Natural Selection...
User avatar #35 - liftplus (03/03/2013) [-]
i hate how this is my country's national animal i mean who gives a **** about birds
User avatar #46 to #35 - beehummingbird (03/03/2013) [-]
Shut the **** up and have some national pride. Would you rather you lived in Africa? Or the Middle East?
User avatar #47 to #46 - liftplus (03/03/2013) [-]
i never said my country was **** i love my country i just said the kiwi is a **** national animal
User avatar #45 to #35 - WolfPrince (03/03/2013) [-]
Ornithologists, plus I find the Kiwi to be charming.
User avatar #49 to #35 - icedcarbon ONLINE (03/03/2013) [-]
Be grateful your national animal is not a pig or something worse. Kiwis actually look cool man.

Portugal's national animals are the Iberian Wolf, Dragon and Cock of Barcelos... the Cock is the most famous one... a ******* COCK!!!! Seriously? I'm grateful that is nice and colourful and that it's not a Chicken at least!
User avatar #36 to #35 - KingDingAling (03/03/2013) [-]
How do you think we feel. We eat our national animal (Kangaroo) lol
User avatar #37 to #36 - liftplus (03/03/2013) [-]
does it taste good i've always wanted to try kangaroo lol
User avatar #38 to #37 - KingDingAling (03/03/2013) [-]
It's a little gamey. But i find it tasty, most people i know hate it because it's naturally a red meat (even once cooked it still stays red) and people get turned off by it but nonetheless it still tastes good.
User avatar #39 to #38 - liftplus (03/03/2013) [-]
if i go over once i get the chance i'll have a look where i can find some any places where to get it or can you just get it at the supermarket
User avatar #40 to #39 - KingDingAling (03/03/2013) [-]
You can buy at literally any supermarket. HOWEVER. lol this is important... Read before you choose because we use kangaroo meat alot for dog food and the packages are similiar.
User avatar #41 to #40 - liftplus (03/03/2013) [-]
oh okay will do thanks kingdingaling
#60 to #36 - anon (03/03/2013) [-]
we are the only country to eat the animals on our coat of arms
#51 to #36 - basham (03/03/2013) [-]
Kangaroo is the best ******* meat I have ever had ever. If I was offered a kangaroo burger, I would ******* jump on that mother ****** like there was no tomorrow.
User avatar #53 - niggernazi (03/03/2013) [-]
must feel like taking a hard ****
User avatar #6 - waffies (03/02/2013) [-]
<--- Kiwi = one of the best birds
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#3 - vicviper **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#8 - anon (03/02/2013) [-]
Hilarious.
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