Killing zombies the right way. . Are you sure? That ' look like an effective ' ". Hiring weapon. - mpa. Shut up, it on minecra. In all seriousness, a pickaxe or an axe would be a weapon. Unless the calcium in the zombies bones have degraded enough (don't know how long that would take), y
x

Comments(93):

[ 93 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #2 - KayRed (02/27/2013) [-]
In all seriousness, a pickaxe or an axe would be a **** weapon. Unless the calcium in the zombies bones have degraded enough (don't know how long that would take), you'd run the risk of impaling the axe in the zombie, and while pulling it out isn't a big deal for one zombie, in a horde you'd be ****** . That's why you always gotta go with ranged or blunt weapons.
User avatar #14 to #2 - counterannon (02/27/2013) [-]
IMO, the best kind of CQC weapon would be something along the lines of a stiletto knife.
along with quick precise jabs to the eyes, temples, ears or back of the skull for quick brain destuction
#74 to #14 - rieskimo (02/27/2013) [-]
Let's see how precise you are when these ************* are all reaching for you. When being chased or surrounded a little stiletto knife isn't going to be an effective enough weapon. It's going to put your hand close to the mouth and hands of a zombie, that's a no-no. It requires skill to be effective with it at all, once again no good. It also would easily dull and you'd have to do a lot of work to pierce any bone, super big no. I'd say for your money, a crowbar(long pry bar would be better) or a pipe filled with something not too heavy would be your best friend in dealing with zombies. You can swing wildly, you don't have to worry about keeping an edge, and the likelyhood that an item like this will break is relatively low, as well as they're fairly light weight.
User avatar #96 to #74 - counterannon (02/27/2013) [-]
Maybe, but i wont be exhausted from 'swinging wildly' and will have enough strength to hold them at bay whilst driving it through the soft tissue areas. rather than make one wrong swing with a heftier weapon and create an opening for one to take a big chunk out of me
User avatar #97 to #96 - rieskimo (02/27/2013) [-]
The "swinging wildly" was just an example that the only way that you can use a crowbar badly is if you use it on yourself. Crowbars are generally pretty light, only a couple of pounds most of the time. Swinging it for hours will definitely exhaust you, but you're not expending much more energy than with a blade.

Slicing the soft tissues is not the endgame that you're looking for. Zombies(in theory obviously) are mindless killing machines numb to everything but a good braining. You're blade won't do enough damage even if you do get through the ocular cavity, you're trying to do some serious trauma to the brain and brain stem(historically speaking of course).
User avatar #98 to #97 - counterannon (02/27/2013) [-]
but a stiletto isn't a slashing weapon, it's a Thrusting one, designed to go in n out, and in the series a screwdriver saves people like crazy,

but you have made your point sir, and have given me something to think about
User avatar #99 to #98 - rieskimo (02/27/2013) [-]
Oh I understand what is shown a lot, and I'm sure a puncturing instrument could be effective. I'm not saying it's not usefull, but I'd keep something like that at my side as a "last hurrah" thing(as is shown in most situations). A stiletto could be useful for a final attempt as well as other practical utilitarian purposes. I've thought about this ******** waaaaaaay too much. There's something entertaining in calculating the logistics of surviving in a logically impossible situation.
User avatar #41 to #2 - octaviano (02/27/2013) [-]
Well, if the virus transfers trough liquid, and that zombie splatters for sure, you are f*cked.
How about you use a borad'n'nail?
GAME THEORY.
User avatar #3 to #2 - Mudkip (02/27/2013) [-]
I always thought of having a katana, a skin tight morph suit, and some kind of scuba diving tank with an airtight helmet. Morphsuit and Helmet prevent infection by the blood of the infected, and walking and slicing the heads of zombies would be a very effective way to warn others.
User avatar #4 to #3 - KayRed (02/27/2013) [-]
That is dumb, yet oddly erotic, so I'll let it happen.
User avatar #5 to #4 - Mudkip (02/27/2013) [-]
Not so erotic when you realize im a guy, and probably m cock would be swinging in beat with the blade. Skin. Tight. Morphsuit.
User avatar #6 to #5 - KayRed (02/27/2013) [-]
Seriously though, that is a horrible idea. You package will attract too much unwanted attention.
User avatar #7 to #6 - Mudkip (02/27/2013) [-]
Slut Zombies?
User avatar #11 to #7 - goodguygary (02/27/2013) [-]
damn slut zombies and their ZAIDS.
User avatar #23 to #11 - trojanmannn (02/27/2013) [-]
I tied a zombie to a pole once and ****** it. Got ZAIDS.
User avatar #45 to #11 - bighairyfart (02/27/2013) [-]
ZOMG!
User avatar #13 to #3 - eddymolly (02/27/2013) [-]
Problem with a Katana is it needs a great amount of care, you need to clean it, sharpen it and polish it regularly, plus they're a lot more fragile than people think.

You'd be much better with a traditional sword, less slicey (technical term there) but a lot easier to look after
User avatar #15 to #13 - hardtuner (02/27/2013) [-]
scimitar is strong and doesn't need a lot of care. but it's just how you sharpen de sword. a good sharp sword beats an avarage katana everyday.
User avatar #77 to #3 - rieskimo (02/27/2013) [-]
Light cotton shirt, leather jacket, jean pants, and leather chaps. Looks dumb but it's durable, it makes it difficult to get a grip on(especially when bloody), and you can stay comfortable and mobile. I'd also wear a hockey helmet(with full mask).



By the way I definitely never think about this stuff at all.
you believe me right?
User avatar #12 to #3 - angelious (02/27/2013) [-]
again.slicing somebodys head off is actually more harder than they claim in the movies.even with katana.

i would rather get something smaller that has good maneuverability and could be used on multiple tasks.like machete.
#20 to #2 - rockmanneos (02/27/2013) [-]
Machetes are best weapon.
User avatar #57 to #20 - megaton (02/27/2013) [-]
believe it or not machetes are more brittle than people think. also with bladed weapons you need to strike fast enough or you will never make it through bone. like KR said
User avatar #100 to #57 - rockmanneos (02/27/2013) [-]
Unless you use the right kind of machete.
In war torn regions of Africa, foot soldiers use machetes all the time, to great effect, actually. An exceptionally great example is the Kukri Knife (pic related).
A lot of companies make high quality blades that are a lot more durable than your average $5 machete from Wal-Mart.
Now, are guns superior? DEPENDS!
That's the whole thing the weapon argument boils down to: situation. If you need to kill something from far away, obviously a gun is the best option. If you need to make a stealth kill, a blunt or sharp object would be best. I just prefer the machete because it can double as a tool, whether it be an overly big ass knife, or something to just chop thin limbs of a tree off.
#101 to #100 - rockmanneos (02/27/2013) [-]
Derp, forgot pic.
User avatar #64 to #20 - koalasonfire (02/27/2013) [-]
Bladed weapons dull ******* fast. I think I'd like hatchet or and axe. It's sharp but when it gets dull I assume it's still affective
#102 to #64 - rockmanneos (02/27/2013) [-]
<This
During your down time, just use this to sharpen whatever bladed item you have. Quick, efficient, and gives you something to pay attention to rather than the battering undead outside your house.
Now, if you're in a situation where your weapon is getting dull in the midst of fighting, then you're probably taking on more zombies than you can handle, and that's when you run.
User avatar #103 to #102 - koalasonfire (02/28/2013) [-]
You're right, I guess. I mean, if it gets dull in the middle of fighting, that's your own fault. I wouldn't fight more than 4 or 5 at a time.
#38 - quintonsword (02/27/2013) [-]
That was a good film...
That was a good film...
#56 to #38 - Spikeydeath (02/27/2013) [-]
whats that from
#61 to #56 - quintonsword (02/27/2013) [-]
The .gif or the-
Well, I hope we all know what the .gif is.
The film is called Zombieland ( You need to login to view this link )
It has people like Bill Murray and Emma Stone in it.
#76 to #61 - hillbillypowpow (02/27/2013) [-]
I think he meant the video of the gif.
#104 to #61 - Spikeydeath (02/28/2013) [-]
I ment the gif, what minecraft video is that from
#106 to #105 - Spikeydeath (02/28/2013) [-]
that gave me a laugh
#67 - nighthawxx (02/27/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#79 - anon (02/27/2013) [-]
minecraft = perfect game for low lives or little kids. It's runescape all over again.
User avatar #93 to #79 - codyxvasco (02/27/2013) [-]
Fixed.
Games= Perfect for low lives or little kids

User avatar #10 - payseht (02/27/2013) [-]
Barely...
#88 - frodofappins (02/27/2013) [-]
Funniest part of film.
+1
#65 - jimborustler **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#34 - felixjarl ONLINE (02/27/2013) [-]
Actually i prefer to use TNT in minecraft to kill my enemies......
User avatar #22 - ultimoz (02/27/2013) [-]
zombie land was so ******* sad, especially when the pickaxe guy was talking about his son
User avatar #32 to #22 - TIDYKIWI (02/27/2013) [-]
I also liked pickaxe guy, but I preferred big girl brown hair.
User avatar #40 to #32 - ultimoz (02/27/2013) [-]
She was sexy
User avatar #24 to #22 - twatmissile (02/27/2013) [-]
no, obviously the saddest part was when bill murray died
#68 - wrinklynewt (02/27/2013) [-]
i never thought i would see my own content posted again

neat
#81 to #68 - anon (02/27/2013) [-]
welcome to FJ, where OC doesn't matter.
User avatar #84 to #81 - wrinklynewt (02/27/2013) [-]
...when i posted it as oc it got FP

i don't care if he did or not, i just never thought any of my posts would be worthy of posting again
User avatar #91 to #84 - Marker (02/27/2013) [-]
^This^ is the right way to view content on this site.
#39 - akatsukipain (02/27/2013) [-]
a double barrel is the worst gun to ******* have in a zombie apocalypse......it takes forever to reload! youre dead as **** if you get surrounded......might as well use it on yourself
User avatar #42 to #39 - elbrysobrony (02/27/2013) [-]
On the flip side, it's almost impossible to miss up close, and if you're only against one or two at a time, you can dispatch them quickly. Or, even if they're a tight clump, you might be able to take out more with the buckshot. Besides, your team should be able to cover you while you reload.

If you're on your own, though, you're pretty much boned.
#46 to #42 - akatsukipain (02/27/2013) [-]
thats what im sayin!.....ya its effective in close range but its a horrible weapon to have.......might as well use it as a bat and hit em with it......i would stick with my machete, bow n arrows, and my 2 glocks with extended clips.....
User avatar #62 to #46 - thecopyninja (02/27/2013) [-]
the double-barrel shotgun would actually be and effective bat. being its pretty much a solid metal pipe with a wood end
User avatar #48 to #46 - elbrysobrony (02/27/2013) [-]
But if you're not strong, or you don't know how to use a bow and arrow set...
#50 to #48 - akatsukipain (02/27/2013) [-]
oh i know how to use my bow......ive been in archery for 15 years
User avatar #51 to #50 - elbrysobrony (02/27/2013) [-]
Well, that's you. I think I'd do best with a double barrel, honestly.
#52 to #51 - akatsukipain (02/27/2013) [-]
but 1 main problem with double barrels are limited ammo......how will you carry the shells?
#19 - murrlogic (02/27/2013) [-]
HEY ZOMBIES HAVE FEELINGS TOO YOU KNOW!!!
#66 to #19 - cupotruth (02/27/2013) [-]
The movie isn't that terrible but you just have to aware of how deep the irony hole goes.

I mean it's a comedy so it's not meant to be taken seriously.
User avatar #21 to #19 - bitchplzzz (02/27/2013) [-]
I had a heartbeat
You've probably never heard of it
#28 to #19 - eccleston (02/27/2013) [-]
I don't know why, but this picture looks kinda wrong to me...
I don't know why, but this picture looks kinda wrong to me...
+1
#29 to #28 - blackcurrant **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#70 to #29 - dingbox (02/27/2013) [-]
"totally wrong and disgusting" at least it was something new, the only reason zombieland got so popular was because it gave beta-faggots hope about getting laid someday because of zombies, other than that it had nothing new and nothing creative.

The movie didn't have a plot more than running from zombies, the movie didn't had a real antagonist more than just zombies and the ending sucked major dicks, theres so much better zombie movies out there.

You can mindlessly jump on the band wagon like all the other but that doesn't change the fact that warm bodies contribute a lot more to the zombie genre than zombieland ever did.
#33 to #29 - eccleston (02/27/2013) [-]
From the picture, I deduce that the film is like Twilight with zombies. Am I right?
If you answer affirmatively, I'll be seriously pissed off.
0
#35 to #33 - blackcurrant **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#37 to #35 - anon (02/27/2013) [-]
Did you watch the movie? If you didn't then it is not fair to rate it as **** . I still didn't watch it so I can't tell you if it is good or not, but from the trailer it looked more like a comedy than romance and besides John Malkovich is in it so I guess that it might turn out a decent movie.
0
#95 to #37 - blackcurrant **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#58 to #35 - anon (02/27/2013) [-]
its a comedy so...
User avatar #63 to #33 - RipperMan (02/27/2013) [-]
they way i heard it was, its like twilight with zombies, but a parody on how silly the whole premise behind twilight is.

So its a parody that acts serious somewhat, if you cant gasp that, you wont like it.
+16
#27 to #19 - swiftykidd **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#87 - IncarceratedNinja (02/27/2013) [-]
******* Katana like Michonne all the damn way!
#78 - sadierussell (02/27/2013) [-]
Sadie. if you, thought Russell`s st0ry is incredible, on monday I got Smart ForTwo from earning $9045 thiss month and also ten-k this past month. it's actualy the most-rewarding Ive ever done. I began this 4 months ago and pretty much straight away brought home minimum $78 per/hr. I follow this great link, Fly38.COM
User avatar #71 - larsravn (02/27/2013) [-]
In Dead Island, a pickaxe is a pretty good weapon.
#69 - fatspartan (02/27/2013) [-]
I'd prefer a something a little more blunt for my zombie slaying arsenal like a sledgehammer or the back end of a hatchet. The way I figure guns run out of ammo, and blades/spiked weapons can get stuck. Sure you might need a little more strength to make the blow lethal, but I think I can handle it.
User avatar #82 to #69 - Keoul (02/27/2013) [-]
A hatchet/Axe seems like the best choice, personally I'd be after a fire axe. For a blunt smack I could hit the zombie with the side and I could use the spike at the end for impalement if need be. Guns are still important for suppression fire for your teammates and good for attacking zombies in a distance should a massive horde show up.
#83 to #69 - ragnarfag (02/27/2013) [-]
You should think about getting yourself a Super Sledge.
#89 to #69 - tomthehippie (02/27/2013) [-]
One problem, the horde. Unless you are John ******* Rambo, a horde is gona plow you under if you are using blunt force trauma as your main weapon, where as a gun gives you the advantage of distance, as in not having to wait until they are within arm's reach of you to kill them.

Nine millimeter ammunition is the most common type in the world, carve a cross into the tip of the round and you have a crude hollow point (bullet deforms on impact, causing greater damage to soft tissue), one shot to the "T" zone (eyes and nose) and bam, brains splattered, zombie dead.
#94 to #69 - iliftandusenwords (02/27/2013) [-]
In reality everyone on funnyjunk dies within the first day
In reality everyone on funnyjunk dies within the first day
User avatar #75 to #69 - tvfreakuk (02/27/2013) [-]
It would be better to have something blunt like that (or even a knife/sword) but I don't think a sledgehammer would be affective. It would take a lot of back swing and too much time, even with only one zombie
#47 - sheperdofthestars (02/27/2013) [-]
&gt;2013   
&gt;Not using Balkor's Weapon Mod
>2013
>Not using Balkor's Weapon Mod
User avatar #49 to #47 - asukalangley (02/27/2013) [-]
>2013
>Not spelling Balkon's Weapon Mod correctly
User avatar #53 to #49 - sheperdofthestars (02/27/2013) [-]
**** ... I even asked myself... "SHould I check that I got it right in google? Nah it's right..."
[ 93 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)