Sad, but true. Not sure if repost. Tell people that there' s an invisible man in the ; sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. i : Sad but true Not sure if repost Tell people that there' s an invisible man in the ; sky who created universe and vast majority will believe you i :
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Sad, but true

 
Sad, but true. Not sure if repost. Tell people that there' s an invisible man in the ; sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. i :

Not sure if repost

Tell people that there' s an invisible man in the ;
sky who created the universe, and the vast
majority will believe you. i :3
Tell them the paint is wet, and if
they have to touch it to be sure. 5’
George Carlin
...
+1510
Views: 67716 Submitted: 02/23/2013
Leave a comment Refresh Comments (297)
[ 297 comments ]
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59 comments displayed.
#20 - pocoyothegreat
Reply +74
(02/23/2013) [-]
"Not sure if repost".
That's the funniest part of this, after seeing it so many times.
#126 to #20 - Visual ONLINE
Reply +5
(02/24/2013) [-]
George Carlin said it first, of course it's a repost.
George Carlin said it first, of course it's a repost.
#56 - kswazzle
Reply +56
(02/24/2013) [-]
I'm pretty sure the if there was a surefire way (Like touching paint) to find out if god is real or not, people would try it.
#87 to #56 - meowbitch
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
Suicide.
#99 to #56 - toosexyforyou
Reply +2
(02/24/2013) [-]
Yeah, what if people would just find a way to kill themselves so that it wouldn't count as suicide(as far as I know suicide prevents you from getting into heaven? idk)? Anyway, since heaven is supposed to be the best place ever and because you're a Christian and Christians all get in heaven because Jesus died for all their sins, why not just live life to the extreme so that you die as soon as possible to go into your magical paradise?

This is the answer that I have for that question, let me know if you agree/disagree or have something to add to it: It's because they don't truly have faith.
#302 to #99 - kswazzle
Reply 0
(02/25/2013) [-]
Sorry if I'm missing something in you're comment but I am actually not a christian, and you made a really good point by the way.
#282 to #99 - coldactill
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
I'm told as a Christian that the reason we are still here is because there are so many people that aren't saved in the world and so many people groups that haven't been reached, and we have to remain here until everything that could have been done has been done. Then once that's done we won't need to kill ourselves God will return. At least that's what I'm told :) hope I helped
#180 to #99 - meganinja ONLINE
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
Yeah you can do it. But why? Would you really like to end up at the final destination without the journey?
#148 to #99 - anon
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
any way you use to kill yourself is suicide. and purposedly trying to get into heaven won't get you there.
#153 to #148 - toosexyforyou
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
I figured you could do extreme sports and such and really shouldn't having someone kill you count as not being suicide? Does the bible specify?
#60 - sonofmymother
Reply +48
(02/24/2013) [-]
Someone makes fun of black people, asians, etc...
FJ community - HueHueHue it's just joke, it's not racist if it is just joke
Somone makes fun of religion
FJ community - How about we leave any bashing of religion outside of FunnyJunk, eh?
-Let's keep religion out of here. Same with politics.
People have the right to believe what they want without criticism.

What?
#64 to #60 - masterboll
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#277 to #60 - mrdrpage
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
Because religious and political debates are just that. Debates. Racist jokes are jokes that stay jokes.
Religious jokes are nothing more than a contest of which side is right or wrong without any evidence.
#63 to #60 - mrmarc [OP]
Reply +1
(02/24/2013) [-]
I don't even know.
I don't even know.
#103 to #60 - toosexyforyou
Reply +7
(02/24/2013) [-]
You have to understand the the majority of funnyjunk doesn't comment, barely ever thumbs, and most of the time just doesn't give a **** about any of the ******** people start on here. Sometimes you see posts saying "let's keep religion and politics out of funnyjunk" and it gets a hundred thumbs, and on other posts it gets -100. It just depends on how many people who care enough on the topic to thumb it up/down were to read that post.
#46 - bronywhat
Reply +29
(02/24/2013) [-]
I love how there's not really any actual **** storm, but an inexhaustible amount of: "a **** storm is coming" posts. With little bits of ********* in between.
#112 to #46 - thessalonaki
Reply +1
(02/24/2013) [-]
God that scene in the movie scared the **** out of me the first time I watched it, still does to this very day.   
   
Hate that picture.
God that scene in the movie scared the **** out of me the first time I watched it, still does to this very day.

Hate that picture.
#48 to #46 - bitchplzzz
Reply +4
(02/24/2013) [-]
They're constipated.
#141 - tehlulzbringer
Reply +20
(02/24/2013) [-]
I like the part where this post implies there's a way to know if god is real or not
I like the part where this post implies there's a way to know if god is real or not
#144 to #141 - redrex ONLINE
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
i'm pretty sure it means a vast majority will believe you without question but with wet paint they want to test it first. with the paint, people question it and with god they dont. i began typing this knowing exactly what i was gonna say but after the second word i forgot. this is pretty close to what i was originally thinking though
#147 to #144 - anon
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
because there isn't like millions of teen wannabe darwins proclaiming they're atheist to everybody they see.

like op.
#278 to #141 - daentraya
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
I think its about how they still believe it without proof, while needing proof for something fairly unimportant
#215 to #141 - skrynox
Reply +1
(02/24/2013) [-]
>Implying I don't have a direct pipeline to god's innermost thoughts
>Implying I don't own a pope that translates Hebrew to English when he listens to god
>Implying I don't own a cell phone to call god (1-)
>Implying Implying Implying Implying
#2 - ktbmnf
Reply -4
(02/23/2013) [-]
just throw some leaves or something at it.

1. if its dry, then no worries.
2. if its wet, the painter is going to be pissed as ****

if you got 2 then its wet! :D
#22 to #2 - nnightfire
Reply 0
(02/23/2013) [-]
Shut up schnitzel
#4 to #2 - evilcookie
Reply +20
(02/23/2013) [-]
"2. if its wet,"   
   
"if you got 2 then its wet! :D"
"2. if its wet,"

"if you got 2 then its wet! :D"

#7 to #4 - ktbmnf
Reply +5
(02/23/2013) [-]
MFW
#143 - DrPeppir
Reply +14
(02/24/2013) [-]
I understand a majority of funnyjunk loves to hate anything religious. But there's seriously other stuff on this site that could be in place of this post that's ACTUALLY funny.
#169 to #143 - anon
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
implying George Carlin isn't funny. Go die
#194 to #143 - hatinonmyrolls
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
*******?
#272 to #143 - nakedfatguy
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
Like racism, sexism, bestiality, pedophilia, Hitler, politicians, disabled/retarded people, and suicide? But holy **** if someone mentions religion, they crossed the ******* line.
Like racism, sexism, bestiality, pedophilia, Hitler, politicians, disabled/retarded people, and suicide? But holy **** if someone mentions religion, they crossed the ******* line.
#301 to #272 - DrPeppir
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
I'm not saying people cant have their opinions on religion or politics. I'm just saying that the post really isn't that funny.
#84 - algonquin
Reply +12
(02/24/2013) [-]
come on guys why can't we all get along? Look no matter what people say about religion, we wouldn't be here without it. Religions all around the world have advanced humanity as a whole, and this difference between religion and science is only present in our cultures (north america and europe), in the rest of the world the two are indivisible, i mean my religion is midwiwin, the medicine men as you know them, have created much of the modern medicine we use today, why? it was their religious duty. The modern observatories we use now to see the universe, were based off the ones invented by the incans who used them to keep track of planets and the sun, their gods. See, religion is ancient and sometimes very very helpful, so believe in it or not, you should still respect it for the good, and not dwell on the bad.
JUST LOVE EVERYONE!
#129 to #84 - lolibear
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
I agree with what you are saying mostly, but I don't think religion brought us forward, FREEDOM of religion brought us forward. in early greek and rome, religion wasn't very strict and we had a scientific boom. in the arabian areas in the middle of the dark ages when freedom of religion was practiced we had a scientific boom. in america when the enlightenment and other movements happened, "radicals" that challenged puritan beliefs and exercised freedom of religion came and led to a scientific boom.

Religion is not the enemy of science(it can even help as you said). but one religion is.
#137 to #129 - algonquin
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
well, freedom of religion was only really a problem in europe/colonial america, but Native americans, Asians and Africans have always enjoyed religious freedom.
But still i agree with you there.
#91 to #84 - BLOONMOON
Reply +2
(02/24/2013) [-]
Not as along as there are radicals. The ones that push religion down everyone's throats or the ones that cause violence in the name of their god.
#95 to #91 - algonquin
Reply +6
(02/24/2013) [-]
yeah but i mean there are some ********** actors and musicians, that doesn't mean movies and music is bad right? but i know what you mean.

<<<< native feels.
#101 to #95 - BLOONMOON
Reply +1
(02/24/2013) [-]
actors and musicians won't kill or harass people when they're called bad and will usually dissapear once the public doesn't care of them anymore.
radical religious people won't
its hard to make comparison of the entertainment industry and religion, but i understand your point.
#109 to #101 - algonquin
Reply +2
(02/24/2013) [-]
yes but religious people have also saved lives, and people kill, not the religions. Even atheists kill masses of people (stalin, pol pot, ho chi min, etc...) that doesn't make atheism bad. You see how that argument is too circumstantial? Still though i think i'm sounding kind of preachy, so ill just go back to my funny.
#110 to #101 - algonquin
Reply +1
(02/24/2013) [-]
also a green thumb for being nice. I love you
#124 to #84 - admiralamory **User deleted account**
+3
has deleted their comment [-]
#125 to #124 - algonquin
Reply +3
(02/24/2013) [-]
Thank you, admiral sir. I love you too
#80 - drhard
Reply +6
(02/24/2013) [-]
Title.
#83 to #80 - dsrtpnk
Reply +8
(02/24/2013) [-]
Please tell me how you have pics attached to your comments?
#85 to #83 - drhard
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
You have to get comment thumbs to be able to do it.
#25 - youcame
Reply -1
(02/23/2013) [-]
HEY FUNNYJUNK

Here's an idea.

Let's keep religion out of here. Same with politics.

People have the right to believe what they want without criticism.
#70 to #25 - elyiia
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
People don't have the right to do anything without criticism.
People don't have the right to do anything without criticism.
#72 to #25 - spidahridah
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
Are you ******* kidding me? No they don't. People have the right to say whatever the **** they want, and others have the same right to say what the **** they want about them.
#29 to #25 - mattkingg **User deleted account**
Reply +1
(02/23/2013) [-]
Unless they're the westbro baptist church
#136 to #25 - setittowumbo
Reply +1
(02/24/2013) [-]
YEAH! THIS GUY'S GOT THE RIGHT IDEA!   
   
Because it's super funny to post stuff about rape, racism, sexism, genocide, and other ****** up things a moral person would find seriously ******* disgusting to joke about!
YEAH! THIS GUY'S GOT THE RIGHT IDEA!

Because it's super funny to post stuff about rape, racism, sexism, genocide, and other ****** up things a moral person would find seriously ******* disgusting to joke about!

#37 to #25 - mrdarp
Reply +3
(02/23/2013) [-]
#52 to #37 - masterboll
Reply +3
(02/24/2013) [-]
i took that picture in Skyrim!
#41 to #37 - thedarkestrogue
Reply +3
(02/24/2013) [-]
#42 to #41 - thedarkestrogue
Reply +4
(02/24/2013) [-]
#35 to #25 - toughactintinactin
Reply +8
(02/23/2013) [-]
No they don't. They have the right to believe without prejudice, we can criticize it all we want.
#36 to #35 - toughactintinactin
Reply +3
(02/23/2013) [-]
Persecution is a better word than prejudice actually
#55 to #35 - anon
Reply 0
(02/24/2013) [-]
And that's why you come across as someone who's really bitter.
#58 to #55 - toughactintinactin
Reply +1
(02/24/2013) [-]
Say what you will, faith doesn't exempt you from criticism. I personally don't care what you believe in but i still have the right to call it stupid if i want, just like you have the right to call me bitter.
#75 to #35 - cockasian
Reply -1
(02/24/2013) [-]
ok, but it's common courtesy to not bring up someones religion in a rude manner

wait, never mind, this is the internet, carry on