Sad, but true. Not sure if repost. Tell people that there' s an invisible man in the ; sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. i :
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Sad, but true

Sad, but true. Not sure if repost. Tell people that there' s an invisible man in the ; sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. i :

Not sure if repost

Tell people that there' s an invisible man in the ;
sky who created the universe, and the vast
majority will believe you. i :3
Tell them the paint is wet, and if
they have to touch it to be sure. 5’
George Carlin
...
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Views: 67569
Favorited: 297
Submitted: 02/23/2013
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Comments(297):

[ 297 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #56 - kswazzle (02/24/2013) [-]
I'm pretty sure the if there was a surefire way (Like touching paint) to find out if god is real or not, people would try it.
User avatar #87 to #56 - meowbitch (02/24/2013) [-]
Suicide.
User avatar #99 to #56 - toosexyforyou (02/24/2013) [-]
Yeah, what if people would just find a way to kill themselves so that it wouldn't count as suicide(as far as I know suicide prevents you from getting into heaven? idk)? Anyway, since heaven is supposed to be the best place ever and because you're a Christian and Christians all get in heaven because Jesus died for all their sins, why not just live life to the extreme so that you die as soon as possible to go into your magical paradise?

This is the answer that I have for that question, let me know if you agree/disagree or have something to add to it: It's because they don't truly have faith.
User avatar #302 to #99 - kswazzle (02/25/2013) [-]
Sorry if I'm missing something in you're comment but I am actually not a christian, and you made a really good point by the way.
User avatar #282 to #99 - coldactill (02/24/2013) [-]
I'm told as a Christian that the reason we are still here is because there are so many people that aren't saved in the world and so many people groups that haven't been reached, and we have to remain here until everything that could have been done has been done. Then once that's done we won't need to kill ourselves God will return. At least that's what I'm told :) hope I helped
User avatar #180 to #99 - meganinja (02/24/2013) [-]
Yeah you can do it. But why? Would you really like to end up at the final destination without the journey?
#148 to #99 - Rascal (02/24/2013) [-]
any way you use to kill yourself is suicide. and purposedly trying to get into heaven won't get you there.
User avatar #153 to #148 - toosexyforyou (02/24/2013) [-]
I figured you could do extreme sports and such and really shouldn't having someone kill you count as not being suicide? Does the bible specify?
#20 - pocoyothegreat (02/23/2013) [-]
"Not sure if repost".
That's the funniest part of this, after seeing it so many times.
#126 to #20 - Visual (02/24/2013) [-]
George Carlin said it first, of course it's a repost.
George Carlin said it first, of course it's a repost.
#46 - bronywhat (02/24/2013) [-]
I love how there's not really any actual **** storm, but an inexhaustible amount of: "a **** storm is coming" posts. With little bits of ********* in between.
#112 to #46 - thessalonaki (02/24/2013) [-]
God that scene in the movie scared the 			****		 out of me the first time I watched it, still does to this very day.   
   
Hate that picture.
God that scene in the movie scared the **** out of me the first time I watched it, still does to this very day.

Hate that picture.
User avatar #48 to #46 - bitchplzzz (02/24/2013) [-]
They're constipated.
#60 - sonofmymother (02/24/2013) [-]
Someone makes fun of black people, asians, etc...
FJ community - HueHueHue it's just joke, it's not racist if it is just joke
Somone makes fun of religion
FJ community - How about we leave any bashing of religion outside of FunnyJunk, eh?
-Let's keep religion out of here. Same with politics.
People have the right to believe what they want without criticism.

What?
0
#64 to #60 - masterboll has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #277 to #60 - mrdrpage (02/24/2013) [-]
Because religious and political debates are just that. Debates. Racist jokes are jokes that stay jokes.
Religious jokes are nothing more than a contest of which side is right or wrong without any evidence.
#63 to #60 - mrmarc (02/24/2013) [-]
I don't even know.
I don't even know.
User avatar #103 to #60 - toosexyforyou (02/24/2013) [-]
You have to understand the the majority of funnyjunk doesn't comment, barely ever thumbs, and most of the time just doesn't give a **** about any of the ******** people start on here. Sometimes you see posts saying "let's keep religion and politics out of funnyjunk" and it gets a hundred thumbs, and on other posts it gets -100. It just depends on how many people who care enough on the topic to thumb it up/down were to read that post.
#141 - tehlulzbringer (02/24/2013) [-]
I like the part where this post implies there's a way to know if god is real or not
I like the part where this post implies there's a way to know if god is real or not
User avatar #278 to #141 - daentraya (02/24/2013) [-]
I think its about how they still believe it without proof, while needing proof for something fairly unimportant
User avatar #144 to #141 - redrex (02/24/2013) [-]
i'm pretty sure it means a vast majority will believe you without question but with wet paint they want to test it first. with the paint, people question it and with god they dont. i began typing this knowing exactly what i was gonna say but after the second word i forgot. this is pretty close to what i was originally thinking though
#147 to #144 - Rascal (02/24/2013) [-]
because there isn't like millions of teen wannabe darwins proclaiming they're atheist to everybody they see.

like op.
User avatar #215 to #141 - skrynox (02/24/2013) [-]
>Implying I don't have a direct pipeline to god's innermost thoughts
>Implying I don't own a pope that translates Hebrew to English when he listens to god
>Implying I don't own a cell phone to call god (1-)
>Implying Implying Implying Implying
#193 - eclecticparadigm **User deleted account** (02/24/2013) [-]
I always believe the paint is wet. Am I a painter in the temple of paintology?
#84 - algonquin (02/24/2013) [-]
come on guys why can't we all get along? Look no matter what people say about religion, we wouldn't be here without it. Religions all around the world have advanced humanity as a whole, and this difference between religion and science is only present in our cultures (north america and europe), in the rest of the world the two are indivisible, i mean my religion is midwiwin, the medicine men as you know them, have created much of the modern medicine we use today, why? it was their religious duty. The modern observatories we use now to see the universe, were based off the ones invented by the incans who used them to keep track of planets and the sun, their gods. See, religion is ancient and sometimes very very helpful, so believe in it or not, you should still respect it for the good, and not dwell on the bad.
JUST LOVE EVERYONE!
#129 to #84 - lolibear (02/24/2013) [-]
I agree with what you are saying mostly, but I don't think religion brought us forward, FREEDOM of religion brought us forward. in early greek and rome, religion wasn't very strict and we had a scientific boom. in the arabian areas in the middle of the dark ages when freedom of religion was practiced we had a scientific boom. in america when the enlightenment and other movements happened, "radicals" that challenged puritan beliefs and exercised freedom of religion came and led to a scientific boom.

Religion is not the enemy of science(it can even help as you said). but one religion is.
User avatar #137 to #129 - algonquin (02/24/2013) [-]
well, freedom of religion was only really a problem in europe/colonial america, but Native americans, Asians and Africans have always enjoyed religious freedom.
But still i agree with you there.
#91 to #84 - BLOONMOON (02/24/2013) [-]
Not as along as there are radicals. The ones that push religion down everyone's throats or the ones that cause violence in the name of their god.
#95 to #91 - algonquin (02/24/2013) [-]
yeah but i mean there are some ********** actors and musicians, that doesn't mean movies and music is bad right? but i know what you mean.

<<<< native feels.
User avatar #101 to #95 - BLOONMOON (02/24/2013) [-]
actors and musicians won't kill or harass people when they're called bad and will usually dissapear once the public doesn't care of them anymore.
radical religious people won't
its hard to make comparison of the entertainment industry and religion, but i understand your point.
#109 to #101 - algonquin (02/24/2013) [-]
yes but religious people have also saved lives, and people kill, not the religions. Even atheists kill masses of people (stalin, pol pot, ho chi min, etc...) that doesn't make atheism bad. You see how that argument is too circumstantial? Still though i think i'm sounding kind of preachy, so ill just go back to my funny.
User avatar #110 to #101 - algonquin (02/24/2013) [-]
also a green thumb for being nice. I love you
+3
#124 to #84 - admiralamory **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #125 to #124 - algonquin (02/24/2013) [-]
Thank you, admiral sir. I love you too
#190 - ishotthedeputy (02/24/2013) [-]
This is implying that people haven't tried ways to prove God's existence
This is implying that people haven't tried ways to prove God's existence
#205 to #190 - feelythefeel (02/24/2013) [-]
Didn't happen on a noticeable scale until rather recently, compared to how long religion has been around. I'd say maybe during the renascence, possibly ancient Greece at the earliest.
User avatar #220 to #205 - IamSofaKingdom (02/24/2013) [-]
In the bible people try to disprove other god's all of the time. All over the old testament. So that is a minimum of just over 2000 years.
#222 to #220 - feelythefeel (02/24/2013) [-]
>Implying that the Bible is anything like a history textbook
For all we know, it could be like the Atheist vs religion posts you see all over the place at times. I believe that the correct term would be a straw man argument.
User avatar #234 to #222 - IamSofaKingdom (02/24/2013) [-]
Um, the bible has been found to be incredibly accurate in it's representation of geographical and historical data...
Written Roman history is in line with biblical accounts and most every king and city mentioned was exactly as it was mentioned int eh book. It is one of the reasons modern Christians hold to the text.
User avatar #252 to #234 - RandomAnonGuy (02/24/2013) [-]
"Incredibly accurate" is a bit of a stretch. It's gotten dates of when kings start or end ruling wrong by over fifty years, in some cases.
User avatar #306 to #252 - IamSofaKingdom (02/25/2013) [-]
I would also like to know which kings in particular so I could look further into that and see what resources say what about it.
User avatar #305 to #252 - IamSofaKingdom (02/25/2013) [-]
You aren't taking into consideration the resources at hand for the authors. Considering the next town over wouldn't hear news from their "neighbor" for days and 100 miles was practically space travel, the information given in text from the few dozen authors is really impressive.
#170 - Rascal (02/24/2013) [-]
old balls said something against religion

all of my thumbs
User avatar #163 - cadaverbox (02/24/2013) [-]
Yes, because when you tell someone about a freshly painted wall, their first instinct is to get paint on their hands.

This is a bad example.
#1 - Rascal (02/23/2013) [-]
Because you can easily prove that the paint is wet or not by touching it.
User avatar #5 to #1 - yamiyo ONLINE (02/23/2013) [-]
So essentially it's because people are lazy? That actually sounds fairly accurate.
#111 - DrollHumor (02/24/2013) [-]
I love George.

It makes me smile to think he's screaming up at us.
#117 to #111 - coonseth (02/24/2013) [-]
I was about to make the same reference..
I was about to make the same reference..
#233 - Rascal (02/24/2013) [-]
George Carlin post makes front page.

Atheists everywhere ejaculate with joy.
User avatar #250 to #233 - RandomAnonGuy (02/24/2013) [-]
...Everywhere?
Jeez, that's gotta be confusing for a lot of them...
#143 - DrPeppir (02/24/2013) [-]
I understand a majority of funnyjunk loves to hate anything religious. But there's seriously other stuff on this site that could be in place of this post that's ACTUALLY funny.
#169 to #143 - Rascal (02/24/2013) [-]
implying George Carlin isn't funny. Go die
#272 to #143 - nakedfatguy (02/24/2013) [-]
Like racism, sexism, bestiality, pedophilia, Hitler, politicians, disabled/retarded people, and suicide? But holy 			****		 if someone mentions religion, they crossed the 			*******		 line.
Like racism, sexism, bestiality, pedophilia, Hitler, politicians, disabled/retarded people, and suicide? But holy **** if someone mentions religion, they crossed the ******* line.
User avatar #301 to #272 - DrPeppir (02/24/2013) [-]
I'm not saying people cant have their opinions on religion or politics. I'm just saying that the post really isn't that funny.
#80 - drhard (02/24/2013) [-]
Title.
User avatar #83 to #80 - dsrtpnk (02/24/2013) [-]
Please tell me how you have pics attached to your comments?
User avatar #85 to #83 - drhard (02/24/2013) [-]
You have to get comment thumbs to be able to do it.
#16 - lemonpledge (02/23/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #97 - restrict (02/24/2013) [-]
ok it was fun at first argueing about religion and seeing different points, but after a while it gets boring and annoying. most people are at the second phase where its annoying...

i guess im just all out of ***** to give...
User avatar #207 - sweetsolitude (02/24/2013) [-]
Curious atheist here. If you believe in God, why do you? Why did you start believing in God? I've heard people say that they feel God's presence with them, in them. I feel no such presence. I'm not going to argue and ridicule you about their beliefs. I'm just curious and seek to understand, since it's a perspective so different from my own.
User avatar #216 to #207 - breakfastskippa (02/24/2013) [-]
Because everyone else does it and just try to fit in, if Judaism was the main religion in America everyone would be jew and against Christianity.
#219 to #207 - biblioklept (02/24/2013) [-]
Because it's hard for me to believe that every emotion and thought that people experience are purely scientific and results of evolution.
Because there are questions that don't have answers; I need a placeholder.
Because I need someone or something infallible and without human error to turn to when there's nothing else.
As I'm typing this I must say that those reasons can easily be rebutted, but I guess I can't help how I feel.
User avatar #260 to #219 - ultimoz (02/24/2013) [-]
Don't know the answer?
God!

That's pretty much what you're saying.
#261 to #260 - biblioklept (02/24/2013) [-]
That is what I'm saying.
As I said before, I know I can be easily rebutted, but that's just how I feel.
User avatar #263 to #261 - ultimoz (02/24/2013) [-]
It just seems like the most simplistic way around huge philosophical debates that go on in science, and then when something is proved you immediately drop the idea of god doing that, you don't stay faithful to your own thoughts.

Seems pretty stupid to me.
User avatar #273 to #263 - biblioklept (02/24/2013) [-]
It is very simplistic. I still think about things, though. I'm not unintelligent. And yes, when they find an answer to the unanswerable questions, then I'll probably make up a way to let God and new scientific discoveries that would otherwise disprove God coexist. And that's me being very, very, brutally honest with you. I hate thinking about that, but I'm predicting that that's how it's going to go.
I'm not saying it's logical. I'm not saying it's even reasonable. I'm just saying that I believe that there's something else.
User avatar #274 to #273 - ultimoz (02/24/2013) [-]
Alright then. We'll leave it at that.
Thank you for your debating time.
#275 to #274 - biblioklept (02/24/2013) [-]
And thank you for not blatantly calling me out for being illogical. Because that's what most people do.
< their face when
#211 to #207 - latinotornado (02/24/2013) [-]
I am not a religious man but I am a spiritual one. I was raised with the catholic church but I do not abide by the laws of the catholic religion. However, I may not have religion but I do have faith. That is your answer. Believers have something called Faith. When you have a close friend who hurt your feelings, and they promise to never do it again, you don't KNOW that they won't do it again, but you have faith in them. That is how I feel. The 'presence of god' is my faith. Do I believe in evolution? of course I do. Do I believe in the big bang? Why not. But I also believe there is an omnipotent force behind all of this. That's MY opinion from a non religious but still Theistic perspective.
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