Gummy Worms. One of my friends shared this on Facebook, thought I'd share.. Search for people, places and things ck Gummy Worms 521, 381 like this. I Yesterday  facebook Gummy worms Birthday surprise Party fail
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Gummy Worms

 
Gummy Worms. One of my friends shared this on Facebook, thought I'd share.. Search for people, places and things ck Gummy Worms 521, 381 like this. I Yesterday

One of my friends shared this on Facebook, thought I'd share.

Search for people, places and things ck
Gummy Worms 521, 381 like this.
I Yesterday at . on
Why I fired my secretary:
Last week was my birthday and I didn' t feel very well waking up on that morning. I
went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she
barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that' s marriage for you, but the kids..... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn' t say a word. So when I
left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretaryship said,
Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one
o' clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It' s such a beautiful
day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you
and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that' s the greatest thing We heard all day. Let' s go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn' t go where we normally would go.
She choose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It' s such a beautiful day... We
don' t need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let' s drop by my apartment, it' s just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
Boss, if you don' t mind, I' m going to step into the bedroom forcast a moment. I' ll
be right back."
Okay,'' I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of
minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and outworkers, all
singing "Happy birthday".
And Must sat there.....
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect.
...
+926
Views: 29141 Submitted: 02/11/2013
Leave a comment Refresh Comments (63)
[ 63 comments ]
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33 comments displayed.
#1 - ajaxthegreat
Reply +96
(02/11/2013) [-]
I hope this isn't real...
#4 to #1 - gwynn
Reply +16
(02/11/2013) [-]
That's a really old joke...
#5 to #4 - anon
Reply 0
(02/11/2013) [-]
What are you talking about? It was clearly posted yesterday
#12 - breakfastlunch
Reply +46
(02/12/2013) [-]
But it didn't stop there
#49 to #12 - undeadwill ONLINE
Reply -1
(02/12/2013) [-]
This image has expired
My actual face when your comment
#51 to #12 - undeadwill ONLINE
Reply -1
(02/12/2013) [-]
This image has expired
#17 to #12 - burritosupreme
Reply +4
(02/12/2013) [-]
#38 to #12 - Holyshizznips
Reply +5
(02/12/2013) [-]
This post was the funniest thing I saw today. Until I saw this comment. Bravo.
This post was the funniest thing I saw today. Until I saw this comment. Bravo.
#8 - almaster
Reply +37
(02/11/2013) [-]
his kids saw him naked
his kids saw him naked
#26 to #8 - contaminatedwin
Reply +9
(02/12/2013) [-]
Don't forget he was fully erect.
#56 to #26 - thatmexican
Reply +1
(02/12/2013) [-]
and sobbing
#24 - vukzgbl
Reply +32
(02/12/2013) [-]
hfw , -clothes
hfw , -clothes
#7 - thatmexican
Reply +31
(02/11/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#18 to #7 - thebacondroid
Reply 0
(02/12/2013) [-]
i will need this gif in the future
#15 - sadlynoobish
Reply +24
(02/12/2013) [-]
The first urban legend of The Naked Man!
#35 - xyxoz
Reply +10
(02/12/2013) [-]
And then you remember he's a gummy worm.
#23 - nanapopo
Reply +9
(02/12/2013) [-]
I'm just laughing at the fact that this was posted by gummy worms
#22 - thrustingreatbacon
Reply +3
(02/12/2013) [-]
the very end made me lol so much
#30 to #22 - richardastley
Reply +8
(02/12/2013) [-]
Well you see, that's where the punchline was so that's a good thing!
#19 - bruce lee
Reply -13
(02/12/2013) [-]
That's something that would happen to me.
#20 to #19 - bruce lee
Reply -9
(02/12/2013) [-]
Except I'd probably never have a wife since im such a beta faggot..

but theoretically if i did, that would probably happen to me.
#42 to #20 - namdelliks
Reply +3
(02/12/2013) [-]
Says "Bruce Lee"..
Do you even deserve that username?
If you're just going to sit there and not try?
#58 to #42 - bruce lee
Reply 0
(02/13/2013) [-]
When did I say I'm not trying?

A lot of special ed kids try hitting on girls, how does that go? Are they suddenly not a beta for trying?

Does trying suddenly invalidate the fact that you can't get a girlfriend? In that case I'm not a beta, I am the biggest ******* alpha you will ever see. Bow down to me.
#62 to #58 - namdelliks
Reply 0
(02/13/2013) [-]
Point proven I suppose, it just seemed like you had given up on trying.
#21 to #20 - anon
Reply 0
(02/12/2013) [-]
Get over yourself you insecure pussy
Read classic literature, buy yourself some 10 pounders, watch some Robin Williams, and get your ass out there
You're a man damnit, remember what the hell you stand for, I'm tired of reading beta whining
#27 to #21 - Zyklone
Reply +4
(02/12/2013) [-]
This image has expired
#32 to #21 - ponyfcker
Reply +2
(02/12/2013) [-]
Anon, that's great. I'm adding this to my favorites.
#44 to #21 - thewellhungarian
Reply +1
(02/12/2013) [-]
Thanks for being awesome, Anon.
#25 to #21 - bruce lee
Reply -9
(02/12/2013) [-]
I'm not whining, I've accepted it.

The only girls I attract are sluts and I just don't like sluts.

Doing those things you just listed would not get me anywhere, I haven't met a girl who likes any of that.
#28 to #25 - Zyklone
Reply +7
(02/12/2013) [-]
This image has expired
complaining is exactly what your doing.
with a name like Bruse Lee you bring great shameto the FJ famiry
Live up to your ****** screenname
#29 to #25 - remsaman ONLINE
Reply +5
(02/12/2013) [-]
So apparently, if youre telling the truth, you can attract sluts
that means that the only thing stopping you from finding a nice girl is you wont get off your fat ass and find one instead of expecting one to just pop up out of nowhere and say they like you. maybe if you took a huge dose of *************** pills, accepting that you wont find anyone only concretes it. if you truly gave a **** about wanting a girl, youd get up, and ******* find one.
#37 to #29 - remsaman ONLINE
Reply +1
(02/12/2013) [-]
i just realised i never finished my sentence after 'man the **** up pills'
#57 to #29 - bruce lee
Reply 0
(02/13/2013) [-]
Yes I am attracting sluts on funnyjunk.

Why are you guys so mad for me commenting about myself? You guys need to get the **** over yourselves.

It's supposed to be an aside, but you guys take it up the ******* ass. I should've known FJ would get butthurt over a comment.