Oh, Rasputin. Got the idea after reading about him in history.. TIE]. Actually, he didn't. The veracit of that story is questionable, but if it is to believed, when his body was found, it was a short distance away from the river,
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User avatar #15 - rasputinsbeard (02/10/2013) [-]
I survived.
#19 to #15 - givemecoke (02/10/2013) [-]
the beard who lived, come to die.
#27 to #24 - givemecoke (02/10/2013) [-]
You're a loony.
User avatar #28 to #27 - rasputinsbeard (02/10/2013) [-]
No, I'm a beard.
#31 to #28 - givemecoke (02/10/2013) [-]
and I'm on a horse.
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#21 to #19 - rasputinsbeard has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #10 - rajand (02/10/2013) [-]
What is also funny is when they cremated him, they forgot to cut the tendons beforehand. This meant they shrank when they were heated causing the body to jerk from a lying position to him sitting upright. It freaked the **** out of everybody watching.
#176 to #10 - bighairyfart (02/11/2013) [-]
rasputins face when
#183 to #10 - onceapiece (02/11/2013) [-]
But, things expand in heat and shrink in cold...
User avatar #12 to #10 - BerryLicious (02/10/2013) [-]
You just made my day.
User avatar #5 - Alchemyst ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
Actually, he didn't. The veracit of that story is questionable, but if it is to believed, when his body was found, it was a short distance away from the river, as he had managed to get an arm free and drag himself out.

The autopsy showed that he then died of hypothermia from being wet in a russian winter.
User avatar #7 to #5 - itwasntnsfw (02/10/2013) [-]
I was just going to say he died next to the river not in it. Good job.
User avatar #115 to #5 - captainrattrap (02/10/2013) [-]
Rasputin was truly the hardest mother ****** alive. Shut yo **** up 50 cent.
User avatar #44 to #5 - lucianakira (02/10/2013) [-]
******* Russian winters.
User avatar #113 - lijda (02/10/2013) [-]
Rasputin's legend actually goes even farther. Some time after he died, some workers from Saint Petersburg went to his grave and dug him up to be cremated. As his body burned, he sat up and everyone around **** their pants.

This was because the fire caused his tendons to shrink which forced the legs and body to bend. This made it look like he was sitting up.
#78 - melwach ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
Clubbed into submission?
Clubbed into submission?
#33 - Rascal (02/10/2013) [-]
wtf?? he was also castrated after getting shot lol how could you forget that its the funniest part. Pic related
#82 to #33 - creosote (02/10/2013) [-]
I was wondering when someone was going to post his dong.
I was wondering when someone was going to post his dong.
#114 to #82 - azsx (02/10/2013) [-]
from?
#165 - farfigsschitter (02/11/2013) [-]
Apologies for any historical inconsistencies. Hopefully this one's more accurate.
User avatar #88 - twofreegerbils (02/10/2013) [-]
...oh... you must be talking about..

.......RA, RA, RASPUTIN

...............LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN!
#84 - dodosareextinct (02/10/2013) [-]
The full legacy of Rasputin:
Invited to a dinner party, where the food was poisoned. He ate enough food and poison to kill 4 men and was still alive, so they shot and beat him. They left the room and came back to find him STILL ******* ALIVE and trying to escape. They shot him again, cut off his 13 inch dong, tied him up, and tossed him in a river in the middle of a damn russian winter. Even so, he managed to get an arm loose and pulled himself up and out onto the river banks, where he finally died of hypothermia.
Like a ******* badass.
User avatar #52 - HardyUndertook (02/10/2013) [-]
now if i'm not mistaken he was thrown into a river tied up and chained.....then froze to death as he made it atleast 100 yards past the river bank...naked.....during winter....in Russia
User avatar #55 to #52 - brothergrimm (02/10/2013) [-]
from what i understand he was also unconscious when he was thrown in the river which was the only reason he drowned. evil never dies easily
User avatar #57 to #55 - HardyUndertook (02/10/2013) [-]
idk...i was told these things so i'm not positive i through those out there to see if anyone knew so thanx for the heads up
User avatar #56 to #52 - omfgitsstsix (02/10/2013) [-]
They never actually recovered his body.

Knowing that indestructible sonofabitch, he could still be out there somewhere. Feasting on bears that he killed with his own two hands. Waiting for his chance.
+6
#87 to #56 - appleyjack **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#161 to #56 - Rascal (02/11/2013) [-]
grade a ******** right here
#39 - alawabidingcitizen ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
What happened was this:
Rasputin was invited to a dinner party by Prince Felix Yusupov where he was going to be poisoned.
The poison (CYANIDE) didn't work, despite it being laced into his wine and the food he had eaten.
The people trying to kill him realized this, shot him in the chest, and left.
One of the killers forgot something in the room where they had left Rasputin (a hat or coat or something) and went back to retrieve it.
When they got back to the room they found Rasputin (still ALIVE) and shot him again.
THE ************ WAS STILL ALIVE.
So they beat him into unconsciousness, MAY HAVE cut off his penis, bound him, rolled up his body in a carpet, and threw Rasputin into the Neva river.
He actually survived long enough to free himself from his bindings and the carpet, but died shortly afterward.
When his body was found three days later, the autopsy revealed the cause of his death to be drowning.
User avatar #41 to #39 - specialspike (02/10/2013) [-]
its a lie he was beaten to dead
+1
#68 to #39 - meisnotifu has deleted their comment [-]
#54 to #39 - cameronxyz (02/10/2013) [-]
Not to mention that the amount of Cyanide ingested into his body was enough to kill four people.
User avatar #14 - Javascap (02/10/2013) [-]
Lit on fire. Sits up.
#166 - hardongo (02/11/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #186 to #166 - desiduratum (02/11/2013) [-]
What movies is this from? I've been wanting to see it but I do not know the name.
User avatar #189 to #186 - ferrettamer ONLINE (02/11/2013) [-]
Monty Python is the series, the specific one is The Holy Grail I think. Just search Monty Python and The Holy Grail
User avatar #191 to #189 - desiduratum (02/11/2013) [-]
Thank you both kind gentlemen.
#188 to #186 - Rascal (02/11/2013) [-]
That is blaspehemous. The movie is called Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
#93 - crazyolitis (02/10/2013) [-]
Killers' FW he didn't even die after being poisoned, shot and stabbed.
#94 to #93 - Rascal (02/10/2013) [-]
someone needs to rethink their carrier choice.
#9 - auehure (02/10/2013) [-]
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdkBs0VCSX0 best version D:

funny fact: rasputins penis was enormous + had a wart on top which let his woman often faint

no homo.
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#110 to #9 - epaone has deleted their comment [-]
#193 to #9 - assondrugs (02/11/2013) [-]
**** yea turisas is awsome !
#107 - pieofdoomballz (02/10/2013) [-]
**pieofdoomballz rolled a random image posted in comment #7511 at Complaints **
His face when he gets stabbed, poisoned, shot four times, clubbed and is in immense pain
User avatar #129 to #107 - jdsalenger (02/10/2013) [-]
That's not even his final form.
User avatar #62 - sirbutterballs (02/10/2013) [-]
RA RA RASPUTIN! RUSSIA'S GREATEST LOVE-MACHINE!
#118 - xXBananaBishopXx (02/10/2013) [-]
Obviously he had an ability of a Devil Fruit.
#74 - applescryatnight (02/10/2013) [-]
i think this could explain it

This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and he said "I feel fine"

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead
#79 to #74 - Rascal (02/10/2013) [-]
Turisas!
User avatar #75 to #74 - moshthun (02/10/2013) [-]
BONEY M!!!

My dad knew him, he was in this old people house and what did he do? HE GOT THREE YOUNG (About 16 years old) GIRLS TO SING WIITH HIM FOR THE ELDERLY.

THAT ****** WAS A GENIUS.
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