drunk. .. Someone needs to learn how to read in context. Although I can see how the wording could be misconstrued because of the use of the word "make". I basic
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[ 415 comments ]
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#313 - kraykan (01/29/2013) [-]
If i may clarify, genesis 1:25 means he was created later in time. Gen 2:18 means he is greater, more important, Placed before other animals. But pretty funny nontheless.
User avatar #334 to #313 - pharoahemonch (01/29/2013) [-]
theology student here:

The actual reason for the contradiction is that Genesis is a hybrid of two totally different sources - the Yahwist and the Priestly, written by different people or groups, in the 9th and 6th centuries BC respectively. That's also why you have the contradiction in the story of Noah where one verse says he must take two of every animal (Gen 6:19), and another verse says he must take seven of all clean animals and two of all unclean ones. (Gen 7:2)
#246 - thegreatbizzo (01/29/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#268 to #246 - hamstergeddon (01/29/2013) [-]
Hail Arceus!   
   
   
Am I doing this right?
Hail Arceus!


Am I doing this right?
#293 to #246 - tazze (01/29/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#294 to #293 - tazze (01/29/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #264 to #246 - sabdoor (01/29/2013) [-]
Praise be to Arceus, Lord Pokemon creator on high! Blessed are his miracles, infinite in their number, but to which we have only encountered 649. We will abide by your word, oh all powerful Arceus.

Now where's my ******* Pokedex?
#322 - suewingyu (01/29/2013) [-]
MFW Religion Posts.
MFW Religion Posts.
User avatar #189 - HunterAsesino (01/29/2013) [-]
Genesis 1 - God creates the animals
Genesis 2 - God creates "copies" of each animal right next to Adam so he can name them
User avatar #194 to #189 - bearhandsahhh (01/29/2013) [-]
It says he brought the animals to him. Not that he created them again.
User avatar #209 to #194 - HunterAsesino (01/29/2013) [-]
It says God "brought them out of the ground" and then brought them to Adam. So it does sound like a separate creation
#167 - buttholee (01/29/2013) [-]
Just says that man named the animals not made after him
#180 to #167 - halorlz (01/29/2013) [-]
i went to the exact place too
User avatar #135 - doubleuteeeffmate (01/29/2013) [-]
Someone needs to learn how to read in context. Although I can see how the wording could be misconstrued because of the use of the word "make". I basically see it as Gen 1:25-27 more or less says that animals were created first then man was created. Gen 2:18-19 says that God wants to make a helper suitable for Adam. God then offers all of the animals that had been previously made to become his helper. Then in the following verses it says that none of them were suitable for Adam so God creates Eve. On a side note, **** you too Adam, we could have had pterodactyls but now we have to put up with women.
#259 to #135 - bulbakip (01/29/2013) [-]
Implying women aren't areal predators...
#331 to #135 - thisnameisnowtaken (01/29/2013) [-]
last line got me. thumbs for you
#140 to #135 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
ok, you have beaten O.P in this battle, but how come God says "on the day you eat the apple you will surely die" but when the dude eats the apple he lives longer than yoda?
User avatar #142 to #140 - cobaltlumi (01/29/2013) [-]
Because Adam before he ate the apple would live forever without death. He didn't say "You will surely die immediately."

He did, eventually, die
#159 to #140 - anon (01/29/2013) [-]
because they were never going to die in the first place.
#145 to #140 - madmaxx (01/29/2013) [-]
To God, a day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as a day. Adam and Eve did indeed die too didn't they?
User avatar #149 to #145 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
I thought you would say that, in the bible it talks about a day having a morning and evening
#151 to #149 - madmaxx (01/29/2013) [-]
And to a human, it does, but to God, time is not quite so linear.
User avatar #157 to #151 - trezon (01/29/2013) [-]
I heard unicorns have the same thesis on time too. Whereas the Spaghetti monsters from the death star hidden inside the moon say time is nickels.
User avatar #312 to #151 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
Genesis 1:16 (“And God made two great lights: The greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night”)
it also says things like on the seventh day you will rest, well do you wait thousands of years to take a day off?
User avatar #181 to #149 - Crusader (01/29/2013) [-]
What is morning and evening to god?
Who is supposed to be beyond the limits of time, so much that he can not only control the universe, but tell what descendants of certain people will do.
User avatar #311 to #181 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
Genesis 1:16 (“And God made two great lights: The greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night”)
it also says things like on the seventh day you will rest, well do you wait thousands of years to take a day off?
User avatar #378 to #311 - Crusader (01/29/2013) [-]
The seventh day to us.
You have to remember that god is supposed to be infinite, everlasting, not bound by time or space.
We on the other hand, are who those things were supposedly created for, therefore we are bound by by them.
User avatar #381 to #378 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
no what I was saying is that in Genesis he says that the sun is there in the day and the moon at night, so therefore he must say that a day is 24 hours
User avatar #408 to #381 - Crusader (01/30/2013) [-]
yes, to us.
What I am saying is that God is not bound by time or space, therefore what a day is to us is moot to him.
User avatar #409 to #408 - thebritishguy (01/30/2013) [-]
no because he says the sun is in the sky in the day and the moon by night, therefore his meaning of a day is 24 hours
User avatar #410 to #409 - Crusader (01/30/2013) [-]
Yes, i understand that.
What you don't seem to understand is that God is supposedly infinite.
Therefore, he does recognize time the same as us.
The world was created for humanity, everything in the world is as humanity sees it.
God is above that.
A human day is 24 hours, and earth day, a day to a god that does not exist as part of this plane does not it as a day, it would be a blink of an eye.
A day is not 24 hours everywhere.
So if God existed in Heaven, as the bible says he does, that would mean he is in a different plane of existence, and therefore their single day may be equal to a thousand years in our time, etc.
God is no more a part of our world than a parents hand is part of their child.
#153 to #140 - doubleuteeeffmate (01/29/2013) [-]
There are a few arguments for that one actually. Like the difference between a "day" for God and a "day" for us. Another is that it meant that it started allowing them to die/killing them slowly (hella slowly) from when they took the bite. My guess though... he was just ******* with them. He knew they were going to eat it eventually and he knew they were going to die eventually... if you think about it, it makes it where he can say he wasn't in the wrong for letting them die.
User avatar #384 to #153 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
Genesis 1:16 (“And God made two great lights: The greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night”) so a day is 24 hours.
it also says things like on the seventh day you will rest, well do you wait thousands of years to take a day off?
#400 to #384 - doubleuteeeffmate (01/29/2013) [-]
That's a fair way to look at it. Unless some God power was pulled that seems reasonable. Saying that God is "all powerful" lets a lot of people throw some logic out the window though. I actually agree with you on the time thing I was just presenting one of the arguements. To answer your question: in short no, in long nnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooo Mfw I was playing devil's advocate for God
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#208 to #140 - pitvipertacos **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #179 to #140 - Crusader (01/29/2013) [-]
What is a day to god?
A year?
A decade?
Century?
Millenia?
User avatar #178 to #135 - Crusader (01/29/2013) [-]
You have to remember that Eve wasn't even the first woman.

In the original copies of the Torah, which have long since been barred from the faith, it said that there were 3 wives, Lilith, an unnamed woman, and then Eve.
Lilith was to dominant, she didn't want to be subservient to man, and was heavily implied to be a lesbian, so god cast her out, and she became Lilitu (I don't know the spelling) which has 2 interpretations, that she drank life in the form of blood, and mothered what we would call vampires, or she drank the bloodline and stole children.
The second woman, who was never named as far as I know, was rejected purely because she didn't look good enough.
And then of course Eve ****** up.

This has little relevancy, but it just goes to show that even Woman weren't a suitable match for man apparently.
User avatar #199 to #178 - burningsmurfs (01/29/2013) [-]
Well then thanks God, give Adam 3 ****** candidates then he gets banned when the woman HE made ***** up. Get your **** together God. jk please don't send me to hell.
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#210 to #199 - pitvipertacos **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #213 to #210 - burningsmurfs (01/29/2013) [-]
It's been a long long time since I've read that particular passage and the bible stories my grandma used to have (hey some of the stories were badass like Samson) but I recall Eve convincing Adam to have a bite too at least in some versions that I've read so I guess depending on what version you've read he was there.
#234 to #135 - grooktoken (01/29/2013) [-]
You wanna **** a pterodactyl?
#205 to #135 - nocta (01/29/2013) [-]
^ this
#230 - justleavefagmin (01/29/2013) [-]
1:25-27, meaning man was created after the other animals in a timeline, 2:18-19 meaning man was created before the other animals in authority.
You're welcome.
#348 - illmakethatsammich (01/29/2013) [-]
Mfw looking at arguments in comments
#273 - Unoriginal (01/29/2013) [-]
Time for kids to argue about topics they don't understand in the comments...
User avatar #275 to #273 - thatguywhohasbacon (01/29/2013) [-]
I studied the bible in Sunday school, I can't recite much of it at all anymore but I know I stopped associating myself with the catholic church because of all the hypocrisy and inconsistencies and the lack of legitimate answers (God works in mysterious ways is not a legitimate answer) rather than just admitting they were wrong about something.
User avatar #276 to #275 - Unoriginal (01/29/2013) [-]
Just because you went to a childrens bible study once a week when you were a child does not mean that you have any authority when speaking on it.

Just because those people were bad examples and had no idea what they were talking about and completely lacking anything other than blind faith to reinforce their lifestyles does not mean that there is no one that has legit reasons for why they do what they do and have sound reason and logic behind that lifestyle.
User avatar #284 to #276 - thatguywhohasbacon (01/29/2013) [-]
I was just explaining why *I* left the faith, I never said it was bad thing to be religious but don't throw it in my face and don't make ******** arguments about it. Both atheists and theists have their loud asshole sides (which are the minority by a major amount). And even my favorite priest (whom I still talk to, and I think he's an archbishop now) said that a lot of it didn't make sense, but he was just not going to preach it because he didn't feel it was right, people like him are okay. And on the note about the "children's bible study" it gives me no more authority over speaking on it than going to church every Sunday makes you any authority either. Plus it wasn't trivial, I spent about six hours a day on Sundays for about 8 years just reading the bible and doing tests because my mother wanted me to be a priest, I retained it about as well as math (I suck at math).
User avatar #289 to #284 - Unoriginal (01/29/2013) [-]
It will all make sense if you study it with the right mindset, things will make sense and connections will be made that would not have otherwise been made.
For example, the book of Joshua is used often to show how bloodthirsty and evil God is while bypassing the fact that God gave the Canaanites about 400 years to get their act together and they never did.
If you don't keep studying the Bible you will lose what you learned, in your case though you probably did retain more than most do considering how much time you spent studying.
User avatar #291 to #289 - thatguywhohasbacon (01/29/2013) [-]
Oh well, If there is a higher power and he isn't satisfied that I try to be a good person (and succeed in most cases) I'd rather suffer for the rest of eternity than support him in any way.
User avatar #300 to #291 - Unoriginal (01/29/2013) [-]
Alrighty then, its your choice man and I gotta respect that.
But I guarantee what we see as good and what He knows is good are two completely different things, have a nice night.
User avatar #302 to #300 - thatguywhohasbacon (01/29/2013) [-]
If he isn't happy with me making other sure other creatures of his aren't suffering and are happy then I really don't care what he thinks is good or right. But you have a nice night too.
User avatar #343 to #302 - cabbagemayhem (01/29/2013) [-]
The problem with beta nice guys is they think they're being nice when they're really not. Most people hurt others out of ignorance or the precept of defending their self. If you are, however, successful in doing the right things in life, then you are, by definition, righteous.
User avatar #317 to #289 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
did the part about the earth being 6000 years old make sense?
User avatar #320 to #317 - Unoriginal (01/29/2013) [-]
The Bible never explicitly gives the Earth an age.
That whole Earth is 6k yrs old thing started when the modern generation of believers read the scrip that says "a day is like a thousand years" (2 Pet 3:8) and thought "DA BAHBLE SEZ DA EARF IS 6000 YEARS OWD, HOW BOUT DAT".
For some reason everyone accepted it without ever even realizing that that scrip was talking about God steadfastness in His promises contextually.
Its another example of how in the Christian world more often than not people will hear something that they agree with or sounds good to them and tell everyone regardless of how wrong it is.
I personally believe the Earth is billions of years old and that the Big Bang Theory actually seems to fit well with the Bible's description of the creation of our universe being sudden.
User avatar #379 to #320 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
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also it says Adam lived for 930 years?
User avatar #390 to #379 - Unoriginal (01/29/2013) [-]
Yep, I dont really have problem with that that though, the Bible says that plainly.
User avatar #391 to #390 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
no but that is silly, you can't live for that long?
User avatar #392 to #391 - Unoriginal (01/29/2013) [-]
No I cant but I was never immortal at on point either was I?
User avatar #393 to #392 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
*sigh* you know that isn't what I meant, humans don't live for that long
User avatar #394 to #393 - Unoriginal (01/29/2013) [-]
I said I agree with you but Adam was a lot different from us.
User avatar #395 to #394 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
there's like loads of humans who lived for ages in the bible and why would we start to die quicker anyway?
User avatar #396 to #395 - Unoriginal (01/29/2013) [-]
Sin, and the fact that God said He wouldn't let people live over a certain age.
Thats what it seems like from my understanding.
User avatar #308 to #273 - alfjnn (01/29/2013) [-]
Inb4 People credit themselves by saying they've read the bible.
#314 to #273 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
lol nice comic
lol nice comic
#162 - ssurtrebor **User deleted account** (01/29/2013) [-]
I thought atheists were supposed to be smart....
I thought atheists were supposed to be smart....
User avatar #245 to #162 - nakedfatguy (01/29/2013) [-]
Well, seeing as how you just used a hasty generalization, you're not one to insult intelligence. Where can I get a LogicalFallacyNazi.gif?
#211 - anon (01/29/2013) [-]
yea just looked that up, and it is definately wrong.
#114 - anon (01/29/2013) [-]
This doesn't really surprise me. Atheists taking Bible passages completely out of context makes up 75% of the atheism channel.
#187 to #114 - anon (01/29/2013) [-]
I have always strenuously supported the right of every man to his own opinion, however different that opinion might be to mine. He who denies to another this right, makes a slave of himself to his present opinion, because he precludes himself the right of changing it
User avatar #225 to #187 - coolcalx (01/29/2013) [-]
you have the right to an educated opinion.

an uneducated opinion is a worthless opinion.
User avatar #98 to #91 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
I thought it was funny
User avatar #150 to #98 - thebritishguy (01/29/2013) [-]
for ***** sake, am I not even allowed to have a sense of humour?
#168 to #98 - unholyjebus (01/29/2013) [-]
>400+ thumbs up for content which is meant to be funny
>6 thumbs down for someone saying that they found the content funny

Funnyjunk logic
User avatar #371 - LassieIsCool (01/29/2013) [-]
From 'The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures'

Gen 1 25-27: And god proceeded to make the wild beast of the earth according to it's kind and the domestic animal according to it's kind and every moving animal to the ground according to it's kind. And God got to see it was good.
And God went on to say: "Let us make man in our own image, according to our likeness, and let them have in subjection the fish of the sea and flying creatures of the heaven and the domestic animals and all the earth and every moving animal that is moving upon the earth.
And God proceeded to create the man in his image, in God's image he created him, male and female he created them.

Gen 2 18-19: And Jehovah God went on to say: " It is not good for the man to continue by himself. I am going to make a helper for him, as completed of him.
Now Jehovah God was forming from the ground every wild beast of the field and every flying creature from the heavens, and he begun bringing them to the man to see what he would call each one; and whatever the man would call it, each living soul, that was its name.

So. 1 25-27 He's making animals then man. In 2 18-19 He is bringing the animal to man to show him so he can name them. He is not making them again.
#158 - anon (01/29/2013) [-]
Genesis 2 18-19

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.

What part of that says the man was created first?

#161 to #158 - anonmynous (01/29/2013) [-]
The part where it said god created animals so man would not be alone and then brought them to man
#163 to #161 - anon (01/29/2013) [-]
You just went full retard son.
#362 - anon (01/29/2013) [-]
This comment section = Christians who can't take a joke. Who cares if the quotes are out of context? IT'S A JOKE.
#197 - morstactica (01/29/2013) [-]
>MFW people won't just let people believe in what they believe in

Come on guys. Even the most zealous Christian has to admit that the Bible was writting by the jews in Babylon. It is written by human hands, and therefore not perfect. no reason to say "HUR DUR Y'ALL IS SUUURE DUMB FER HAVIN FAITH". How about you pick on Islam or Hinduism? Oh wait, we can only pick on White American Christians or we're racist. Honestly? It makes me sick.

Good ******* night FJ.
User avatar #252 to #197 - ugottanked (01/29/2013) [-]
finally..someone understands

i agree with everything you say good sir a hundred percent

and yes before you ask, i am a little religious, but i like to laugh about my own religion
User avatar #215 to #197 - doodogger (01/29/2013) [-]
Good point.
#202 to #197 - anon (01/29/2013) [-]
>MFW people won't just let people believe in what they believe in

I hope you realize that in the Islamic faith it's ok to beat women, seriously people should be able to believe in what they want up until the point where it starts restricting rights of anyone or is used to cause harm to anyone.

Seriously if everyone took religion as seriously as most christians do there would be no problem, most christians are pretty laidback and at most get a little butthurt and end up writing to fox news to complain but when certain islamists get butthurt they firebomb buildings, murder people etc...
#206 to #202 - morstactica (01/29/2013) [-]
Meh, "Modern Islamists" are pretty chill, at least around where I live. I even have Islamist friends and i'm an open Christian. (As in when someone asks I say 'Yes, i'm a Christian' and continue along with my life)   
   
But I agree Anon, extremist Islamist's are bananas.
Meh, "Modern Islamists" are pretty chill, at least around where I live. I even have Islamist friends and i'm an open Christian. (As in when someone asks I say 'Yes, i'm a Christian' and continue along with my life)

But I agree Anon, extremist Islamist's are bananas.
User avatar #207 to #206 - morstactica (01/29/2013) [-]
*Islamists
Derp.
#243 to #206 - anon (01/29/2013) [-]
Aren't all extremists bananas regardless of religion?
#216 to #202 - doodogger (01/29/2013) [-]
Good point. But sign in...
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