truths. I don't remember where I got this, but it has a lot of things on it I find worth the read.. Truths For Mature Humans 1. I think part ofa best friend' s
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truths

truths. I don't remember where I got this, but it has a lot of things on it I find worth the read.. Truths For Mature Humans 1. I think part ofa best friend' s

I don't remember where I got this, but it has a lot of things on it I find worth the read.

Truths For Mature Humans
1. I think part ofa best friend' s job should be
to immediately clear your computer history if
you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment
during an argument when you realize you' re
wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn' t
want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a
fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their
directions on # 5. I' m pretty sure I know how to
get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting
if they told you how the person died.
9. I can' t remembering last time I wasn' t at
least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but
there comes a moment at work when you
know that you just aren' t going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever
comes after Blue Ray? I don' t want to have to
restart my .
13. I' m always slightly terrified when I exit
out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any
changes to my technical report that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash dry"
means I will never wash this - ever.
15. I hate when Ijust miss a call by the last
ring (Hello? Hello? _ HI), but when I
immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voice mail. What did you do after I
didn' t answer? Drop the phone and run
away?
16. I hate leaving my house confidante's
looking good and then not seeing anyone of
importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people' s phone numbers
in my phoneless so I know not to answer
when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as
well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would
bet on any given Friday or Saturday night
more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid
Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I' ll watch a movie that I
watched when I was younger and suddenly
realize I had no idea what the heck was
going on when Ifirst saw it.
22. I would cathegory to carry 10 over-
loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2
trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I portforward to a red
light is when I' m trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine
line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say
What?" before youjust nod and smile
because you still didn' t hear or understand a
word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an
entire line of cars team up to preventative
from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty.
Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can
wear them forever.
28. Is itjust me or do high school kids get
dumber & dumber every year?
29. There' s no worse feeling than that
millisecond you' re sure you are going to die
after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver! hate pedestrians, and as a
pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what
the mode of transportation, I always hate
bicyclists.
31. Sometimes I' ll look down at my watch 3
consecutive times and still not know what
time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people
have trouble locating their car keys in a
pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning
the Tail on the Donkey- but I' d bet my -
everyone can find and push the snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about I .7
seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
...
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Views: 11696
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Submitted: 01/15/2013
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Comments(27):

[ 27 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #11 - brawlman (01/16/2013) [-]
can italics be used as sarcasm?
#14 to #11 - iFail (01/16/2013) [-]
Yeah, sure, italics, what a great suggestion.
#10 - rprol (01/16/2013) [-]
I feel that 2 times is the max you can say "what?". Unless you have a feeling that it may be important and then a 3rd is permitted.
+4
#6 - garagesale **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#2 - tiktik (01/16/2013) [-]
win
win
#1 - bighairybacon (01/15/2013) [-]
That is the best thing I have ever read on this site...

Let me dust off a thumb for you.
#12 - heyny (01/16/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#4 - joemannumberone (01/16/2013) [-]
So true! Numbers 27 and 31 especially, I don't even mind that its a repost.
So true! Numbers 27 and 31 especially, I don't even mind that its a repost.
User avatar #16 - rubixium (01/16/2013) [-]
33. tl;dr
User avatar #7 - yourdadsdad (01/16/2013) [-]
High school kids don't get dumber, you get wiser and smarter.
User avatar #8 to #7 - shashashadow (01/16/2013) [-]
I'm pretty sure it's both.
User avatar #9 to #7 - kidel (01/16/2013) [-]
That's the point
User avatar #24 - smokedmeatlog (01/16/2013) [-]
My freezer has a light.
#23 - lethargick (01/16/2013) [-]
Ive seen the best thing ill ever see, i guess there's just one thing left to do
User avatar #22 - galkawhm (01/16/2013) [-]
There needs to be a snark font too.
#21 - atomicsnowball (01/16/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#20 - chouinark (01/16/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #19 - freakdog (01/16/2013) [-]
"Do not wash or tumble dry"
Actually means: "Wash and tumble dry"

Who the **** reads it anyway?
#18 - ibettyhumpder (01/16/2013) [-]
MOAR!!
0
#17 - publesstroll **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #13 - anonymousattorney (01/16/2013) [-]
When I'm trying to be sarcastic, I just use Comic Sans.
User avatar #5 - sprdood (01/16/2013) [-]
#2: Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
#29: There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
....Well they can't both be the worst.....
[ 27 comments ]
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