truths. I don't remember where I got this, but it has a lot of things on it I find worth the read.. Truths For Mature Humans 1. I think part ofa best friend' s


truths. I don't remember where I got this, but it has a lot of things on it I find worth the read.. Truths For Mature Humans 1. I think part ofa best friend' s

I don't remember where I got this, but it has a lot of things on it I find worth the read.

Truths For Mature Humans
1. I think part ofa best friend' s job should be
to immediately clear your computer history if
you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment
during an argument when you realize you' re
3. I totally take back all those times I didn' t
want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a
fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their
directions on # 5. I' m pretty sure I know how to
get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting
if they told you how the person died.
9. I can' t remembering last time I wasn' t at
least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but
there comes a moment at work when you
know that you just aren' t going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever
comes after Blue Ray? I don' t want to have to
restart my .
13. I' m always slightly terrified when I exit
out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any
changes to my technical report that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash dry"
means I will never wash this - ever.
15. I hate when Ijust miss a call by the last
ring (Hello? Hello? _ HI), but when I
immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voice mail. What did you do after I
didn' t answer? Drop the phone and run
16. I hate leaving my house confidante's
looking good and then not seeing anyone of
importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people' s phone numbers
in my phoneless so I know not to answer
when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would
bet on any given Friday or Saturday night
more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid
Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I' ll watch a movie that I
watched when I was younger and suddenly
realize I had no idea what the heck was
going on when Ifirst saw it.
22. I would cathegory to carry 10 over-
loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2
trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I portforward to a red
light is when I' m trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine
line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say
What?" before youjust nod and smile
because you still didn' t hear or understand a
word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an
entire line of cars team up to preventative
from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty.
Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can
wear them forever.
28. Is itjust me or do high school kids get
dumber & dumber every year?
29. There' s no worse feeling than that
millisecond you' re sure you are going to die
after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver! hate pedestrians, and as a
pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what
the mode of transportation, I always hate
31. Sometimes I' ll look down at my watch 3
consecutive times and still not know what
time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people
have trouble locating their car keys in a
pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning
the Tail on the Donkey- but I' d bet my -
everyone can find and push the snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about I .7
seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
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Submitted: 01/15/2013
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Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #11 - brawlman (01/16/2013) [-]
can italics be used as sarcasm?
#14 to #11 - iFail (01/16/2013) [-]
Yeah, sure, italics, what a great suggestion.
#10 - rprol (01/16/2013) [-]
I feel that 2 times is the max you can say "what?". Unless you have a feeling that it may be important and then a 3rd is permitted.
#6 - garagesale **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#2 - tiktik (01/16/2013) [-]
#1 - bighairybacon (01/15/2013) [-]
That is the best thing I have ever read on this site...

Let me dust off a thumb for you.
#12 - heyny (01/16/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#4 - joemannumberone (01/16/2013) [-]
So true! Numbers 27 and 31 especially, I don't even mind that its a repost.
So true! Numbers 27 and 31 especially, I don't even mind that its a repost.
User avatar #16 - rubixium ONLINE (01/16/2013) [-]
33. tl;dr
User avatar #7 - yourdadsdad (01/16/2013) [-]
High school kids don't get dumber, you get wiser and smarter.
User avatar #8 to #7 - shashashadow (01/16/2013) [-]
I'm pretty sure it's both.
User avatar #9 to #7 - kidel (01/16/2013) [-]
That's the point
User avatar #26 - stutterguy (01/17/2013) [-]
When I was at school, a new shopping center opened in my city. After school, about 30 students proceeded to run across the road to a bus stop so they could go shopping and three of them got plowed down by the single car. Several other kids ran into the side of the car after it stopped.

I think school kids have always had a nice, balanced level of intense stupidity through the years.
User avatar #25 - spycheckingpyro (01/17/2013) [-]
Truths for more mature adults.
1. or you could keep your computer password protected and not share it
2. or getting AIDS. AIDS sucks a little more
3. yeah. responsibilities suck but it's a part of your job to be awake. you know. to make money. then you can sleep when you get home
4. or you can learn proper sarcasm and type it in a way that makes it obvious
5. look at comment #15.
6. i don't know about you; but i sign my checks, documents, and credit card pad in cursive
7. it's a program designed to get you from point A to point B. simply put in directions from #5 if it bothers you that badly
8. they attempt to console the family and friends
9. false, even after four hours of sleep each night for several months. your body will adapt.
10. ...didn't the title say "Mature Adults". I could tell a friend about my trip to Munich for Oktoberfest and it's still a great decision.
11. best way to get promoted and advance at any job you have. make that attempt when no one else is
12. since Blu-Ray players are backwards compatible and it's successor will disk to the design of the CD. you're going to be wasting money if you need it so badly
13. i understand the worry, but personally i find it helpful to save a final copy as "x_final". helps eliminate those worries.
14. gross.
15. sometimes there's a legitimate reason. maybe they accepted you weren't there and set their phone down
16. when should your self-confidence be flaunted about. it's your self-confidence. you're awesome regardless of what anyone else says!
17. i'll give the creator of this comp this one. but you can now "auto-ignore" numbers on newer phone models so they ring but it never bothers you.
18. some do. some don't. depends on the size of your freezer and model
19. it's almost like kay jewelers was making a pun out of their name or something. the nerve of those people! (see? sarcasm without a font!)
User avatar #27 to #25 - spycheckingpyro (01/17/2013) [-]
20. except it brings you the fastest way from point A to B and there's no way to properly describe a "ghetto" from a politically correct standpoint. crime rate per capita? human population confined into a smaller region? regions with a lower income?
21. probably because most children don't catch onto underlying messages or references like an adult would.
22. i got nothing against number 22. because **** TWO TRIPS!
23. most states in the USA now consider that illegal or very ill advised. just saying
24. proper dieting, correct portion sizes, and self control can go a long way to help
25. once will do. most people surprisingly won't be mad if you ask them to repeat what they said
26. works well until you find out that you're also blocking the emergency path for emergency vehicles. kind of important to keep those open. but yes, those jerks piss me off too. but it'd be more detrimental if an ambulance got screwed over behind them and couldn't make it through
27. once again. gross
28. we were all that dumb in high school. we all got older and they stayed the same age god, i love Dazed and Confused
29. or that moment when you find out that a loved one just got AIDS. there's always that too
30. and bicyclists hate you too
31. multitasking can be pretty difficult, especially when your concentration isn't on the time.
32. and mice can be trained to avoid being shocked by knowing which food source to go to or not. it's your body reacting to a negative with a reflex.
User avatar #24 - smokedmeatlog (01/16/2013) [-]
My freezer has a light.
#23 - lethargick (01/16/2013) [-]
Ive seen the best thing ill ever see, i guess there's just one thing left to do
User avatar #22 - galkawhm (01/16/2013) [-]
There needs to be a snark font too.
#21 - atomicsnowball (01/16/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#20 - chouinark (01/16/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #19 - freakdog (01/16/2013) [-]
"Do not wash or tumble dry"
Actually means: "Wash and tumble dry"

Who the **** reads it anyway?
#18 - ibettyhumpder (01/16/2013) [-]
User avatar #13 - anonymousattorney (01/16/2013) [-]
When I'm trying to be sarcastic, I just use Comic Sans.
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