Feel Story and Thank You to KS Board. Creator of KS Board: /user/sheepyhead Thank you for reading. Play Katawa Shoujo if you haven't, it's wonderful... I love rocks. Pay attention for a moment, here. I'm going somewhere with this. There's basic rocks, the rough-around-the-edges stones that don't shine at all, t


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User avatar #19 - Eiza (01/13/2013) [-]
I love rocks. Pay attention for a moment, here. I'm going somewhere with this.

There's basic rocks, the rough-around-the-edges stones that don't shine at all, the rocks that no one seems to notice. Those are rocks that don't really matter in the eyes of society. They're the ones that get kicked around carelessly, the ones that are deemed worthless.

But then you have the smoother stones, the "pretty" ones, the ones that people collect because they are appealing to others. The rocks that just look so nice and perfect and have no faults at all. Everyone takes note of those rocks. Everyone loves those rocks.

But not I.

I like the rough rocks. With good reason. They're the rocks that can undergo the greatest change. The rocks which, when the other rocks pile on top of them over and over and over again, have to deal with immense difficulty in their existence. And it may seem like an eternity to that rock that has to deal with that agony and suffering for so long. There are many times when that rock might be at a point in which it could shatter.

But the ones that don't break, the ones that survive that horror, the ones who make it through that Hell... They shine as treasures more magnificent than even the smooth stones on the surface. They are the rocks who, when faced with extreme adversity and pain in their period of existence, managed to pull through and become the rocks that are valued greater than any other stone that exists.

People are rocks, and you have proven with this tale that you are well on your way to becoming a diamond. Don't crack and shatter now.
#58 to #19 - thebakon (01/14/2013) [-]
User avatar #80 to #19 - qxangelxp (03/25/2015) [-]
Ayyyye, Lmao
User avatar #24 to #19 - ishalltroll (01/13/2013) [-]
I love the rain. It makes me feel so content with things. It was rainy on my favorite birthday, but it was rainy when my grandmother died. It was also rainy on days when I was depressed, and it made me feel like the sky was giving me tiny pats on the back telling me to cheer up. It also makes me lose the game.
#25 to #19 - netic (01/13/2013) [-]
That was pretty deep. I don't know where you got it from, but it shure shows that the people who hang out here in the KS channel are quite different than the rest of this site.
#32 - whtkid ONLINE (01/14/2013) [-]
Man, you sure do have a lot of spaghetti to drop...

Beta-ness aside, that was a really deep story bro. You have had your share of **** ups, but everyone does. All you can do is move on, and look to the future ahead. Stop regretting the past, my friend, because the past is what makes you who you are. You can't change it, you can't go back, you just have to look forward and try not to mess up again. Good luck to you, friend.
User avatar #23 - ishalltroll (01/13/2013) [-]
I stopped at the part where you commented "Kill yourself" on a facebook post of her "because you read it on a 4chan post".
That move was so antisocially beta I can't even stress enough how much of a ******* retard you are.
User avatar #26 to #23 - hankhillofthe [OP]ONLINE (01/13/2013) [-]
Yeah, I know.

I still hate myself for it.
#27 - netic (01/13/2013) [-]
Read it all. Good feely read. I can only agree with you, you made some major **** ups. But that is what you do when you are young and stupid. You learn that later. And luckily you have already learned a lot. You are going to learn a lot more the in years to come. You will still **** up, and you will still wonder why and what the hell you did wrong. But it will be better,and becomes easier.

Take it from and older guy, ik know it. I and almost every other person goes through something more or less likely. It gets easier, you are still ******* 17 dude. Cheer up, go find some new people. Maybe change school, = fresh start, you can be a "different person".

The "kill yourself" comment, you got from 4chan, was pretty ******* sad man. But i hope you've learned that texting is a ******* bad way of communicating unless it is quick short messages.

Best of luck.
<- Happy pic for cheers!
User avatar #28 to #27 - hankhillofthe [OP]ONLINE (01/14/2013) [-]
That ******* 4chan thing will haunt me to my grave.

I never thought I could do something so utterly stupid.
#22 - TheNameJin (01/13/2013) [-]
Right now I'm... honestly pretty speechless.
I can tell you that I've been down that path, and I know how you feel...
That pain that you feel though? That sadness? That never goes away. It will always be there. You just learn to deal with it after a while.
User avatar #18 - hankhillofthe [OP]ONLINE (01/13/2013) [-]
**** sorry, Kairyuka is the one that introduced me to KS.

sheepyhead is an alt account.


User avatar #51 to #18 - Kairyuka (01/14/2013) [-]
It's alright bro c:
My account has just been unbanned (no thanks to magical fairy princess), so now I'm on Kairyuka again c:
#16 - nilestyle (01/13/2013) [-]
I didn't read this because I don't possess the attention span needed but I thumbed anyway because it takes a lot of effort to type all of that
#5 - xern (01/13/2013) [-]
Add to favorites, reading it later.
#33 - bushydude (01/14/2013) [-]
Dude.... That.... that is the exact same situation i went through except i didn't come out with the anxiety. I am sitting have a HUGE feel of man tears thinking about my life and yours and how much they parallel each other. The amount of which they do is down right scary. Although i don't think you brutally beat her ex for attempted rape. Anyway i feel you man i understand. Its hurts like a bitch and i still want to go back and fix things. what sucks for me is we share a group of friends and we see each other a lot which rubs it in like salt in a wound. I am your bro of parallel life. I know the feels to well..
User avatar #77 to #33 - colegaleener ONLINE (01/20/2013) [-]
You two should compare dicks
#21 - kkbbss (01/13/2013) [-]
i'm going throw the same kind same kind of **** , all though this weight has been for... well **** exactly 10 month. There was click, after one conversation we connected and started hanging out. I didn't really have friends for years and it was almost unbelievable, so quick, so easy, so awesome. I won't go in the details, but she also became my everything, my happy though I always used to make feel better... Today I haven't talk to her, face to face, in 10 month. I tried a lot only making it worst. I also wish I could chat with on skype or else once a month but she cut me off everything. I saw a girl looking like her the other day and made huge eyes to her, I panicked, I was so scared...
I'd like to share more but I have to go. If you want to share notes or just talk be my guest it wou be nice
#20 - sillymoose (01/13/2013) [-]
I decided to read through all of this, and I'll be honest with you it gave me a feel.

I went through something like this with an Ex of mine, but it was after we had broken up and I was feeling the way you were feeling. I just wanted her back, I realized too late that I was being immature, trying to prove to her something she was obviously uncomfortable about, and that I could be trusted. It all spiraled down after I had made a mistake.

I'm a big dude, I'm 186lb. and 6'4", the one think I fear the most is if someone is intimidated in me, or scared of me. And that's exactly what I did to her was intimidate and scare her. All I wanted was to show her I could be trusted.

I couldn't bare to go anywhere for a year. It took me two to get over it. I skipped out on school, I lost my appetite, I was scared I would run into her mostly because I didn't want to see her expression of me.

I'm not sure how connected you were with this girl, but you'll get better. You just gotta let yourself recover.

When I played KS, I wanted Hanako's route, she's the first person I ran into on FJ, and I ended up getting Emi first, because I didn't know there was a guide. So I did Emi, then Hanako, and I thought I was going to be ok, I saw how everyone else got feels hit hardest with them.

But then I did Lilly's path and boy did it throw me on my ass.

I could not stop thinking about her, or my life, for a week. It was the hardest week I've been through since the first week my ex broke up with me. But I used what I had learned to do better with myself. I'm doing short workouts to get myself into shape, and I've become more open with my emotions and in social situations.

Just use what you learn from thinking about this and try to change it for the better. Maybe nothing will fix with this girl, but it doesn't mean you won't get chances with other people. There are some surprising personalities out there.
User avatar #17 - carsondailey (01/13/2013) [-]
that is a feel i don't know and i'm also 17
#8 - lickilicky (01/13/2013) [-]
Damn thats heavy. I don't know what to say, so here have this.
Damn thats heavy. I don't know what to say, so here have this.
#69 - torpedoesaway (01/14/2013) [-]
I understand, OP. I went through the same thing when I was a freshman. Life was really ****** for awhile, but it's been 7 years since then, and about half a year ago, I met a girl, and she makes me happy. Genuinely happy. It sucks for a while, but it does get better.
User avatar #52 - trollnot (01/14/2013) [-]
Op what the **** .

I got to give it too you telling us this takes some balls, don't get me wrong still think your beta as **** , but you seriously brought a tear to my eye good god
#46 - fortes (01/14/2013) [-]
You have guts OP. Not alot of people can admit to what you just told us. You're damn fine human being, may you future shine brighter.
User avatar #47 to #46 - fortes (01/14/2013) [-]
*your future shine brighter
#34 - anon (01/14/2013) [-]
Honestly, reading this gave me insight into the other side of the story. I was like your girl to someone who I cared about a lot. I was the girl who tried to show someone all of the good things in the world, show him that he deserves to be loved. I won't go into detail, but there were a lot of similarities between your post and the person who I care about.

After reading through your post, I felt I was finally given insight into the other side of it. I came to a point where I realized we weren't right for each other (dating), and decided to break it off even though I still cared about him a lot. He did a lot of uncaring things that made me realize he wasn't right for me in a romantic relationship, and once I was gone he started showing obsessive tendencies.

Telling me I changed his life, telling me he would never love again, telling me that there's no one else in the world as caring and kind as me. Things like that. On my end, it seemed like he was looking at me through rose-colored glasses, putting me on a pedestal. And the fact that he would do obsessive things really worried me. I didn't want to become the unattainable to him, when I had tried to show him that he deserves to be loved. I wanted him to be happy with his life; I didn't want to be someone who changed his life for the better, but ended up ruining it in the end.

Hopefully this will give YOU some insight on how she is probably feeling. There was never a thought in my mind about NOT forgiving him, NEVER. But there does come a point where you feel like you have to let a person go, so they can truly move on.

I will say that some of the things you did showed the same obsessive tendencies that I saw in him. And in the end, I felt like I had to stop contact, for the better. It hurts, for both sides, but in doing that she is actually showing you that she really cares about you. So please, no matter what happens, take this experience and move on. Be happy. That's what she wants. That's what I wanted.
User avatar #35 to #34 - hankhillofthe [OP]ONLINE (01/14/2013) [-]
Tonight, I had that realization.

Maybe, even if she doesn't feel the way you do, it's best we not talk for a very long time.

I didn't learn this lesson after I confessed to her, but her boyfriend told me about it, and I didn't listen.

I can hear "Move on" as much as anyone wants, but it's not going to sink in. People don't just "Move on" on command, and we sure as hell don't know how to in these kinds of situations.

This is a test. Even if inadvertent and indirect, I'm being tested. For too long I've sat in my head. Just like Rin, completely indecisive about myself. Fearing not being able to establish an identity for myself. Fearing that decisions I make will cause me to cement myself as a person I'm not. I fear being who I am just as much as I fear not being who I am.

You know why I did this to her? Why I tried to pull out her tender side and that of many others around me?

I wanted to learn how to help people.

I've been in such a helpless inner battle with myself for so long, I wanted to see if I could help others get out of their trifles.

It wasn't just her that I wanted to help. In fact, I don't even know that I wanted to help her at all. I've always wanted to make her the happiest person in the world, but I've never been open about trying to help her out of her depression. I felt helpless to do so.

I want to help others so I can help myself. I've become so transparent, my life has been lived out already. Everybody knows all this **** about me, and me about them, there's no interest in me or anyone else.

I need to wait until I've graduated from high school, leave my environment, and start a new life somewhere. Maybe in-state, but maybe not. I need to experience humanity. The full spectrum can be found here on the internet, but this is not a good medium for it. Social interaction is meant to be face-to-face, there is a large amount of it taken out buy the internet.

This is what I need to do. I need to forget about all the hurt I've done, and the hurt I feel, and move on. THAT'S what I needed to know. You can tell someone to move on all you want, but that doesn't help anything. It's like telling someone everything is a lot simpler than what they're making it out to be. Even if it is, you're not helping. I didn't need to know to move on, I needed to know how. And that's something I have to come up with on my own.

It's time to stop being transparent. I need to have some dignity; a little pride in myself. I'll find love one day. Maybe by the time I find it again, I'll be ready to do what's right and not what I wish I could do.
#37 to #35 - anon (01/14/2013) [-]
Yes, "moving on" is something each individual has to figure out for themselves. When I say I wanted him to move on, I mean that I wanted him to take the experiences he had with me, and use it so that in the future he is exactly who he wants to be. It may take time -- even a lot of time -- but if he is happy in the end, that is what matters.

Every person's journey through "moving on" is different, but the end result is what truly matters. I think a fresh start would be great, particularly in college. It's your opportunity to apply what you've learned on a fresh slate!

On a side note, I am the same way with wanting to help people. No matter who I come across, if they're sad, I want to make them happy, at least in some small way -- it is something that has gotten me into situations where I have been taken advantage of, but I have learned a lot. I'm not perfect by any means, but from my own experiences I have learned that no one can be helped if they don't want to be.

Showing people simple kindness can go a long way, if you want to cheer them up. Someone won't be ready to be pulled out of a depression by your actions alone -- it takes their own willpower to do so. You can help them, by being kind, by showing them how wonderful life can be, and maybe that will ultimately be the deciding factor for them. But you can't do it for them, and they are better for doing it themselves. It gives someone confidence to accomplish a feat such as that.

And it's kind of funny, but this is an example. I originally replied to this post (my first comment ever on this site even though I've read it for a long time) in an attempt to help someone who is sad -- that is, you. I hope that a little bit of what I've shared has given you insight and maybe given you a little hope for the future too. :]
User avatar #41 to #37 - hankhillofthe [OP]ONLINE (01/14/2013) [-]
Hey anon, do you have a skype?

You seem like a very good person; the kind I'd like to keep in touch with.
#49 to #41 - anon (01/14/2013) [-]
Uhmm, unfortunately, I don't have accounts on social networking sites like Facebook or Skype or anything like that. I'm kind of really shy and generally keep to myself, but I do have email if you would like to message me on that!

And thank you. You genuinely seem like a great person as well, enough so that I was compelled to reply to the post!
User avatar #50 to #49 - hankhillofthe [OP]ONLINE (01/14/2013) [-]
That's good enough.

If you have to, just post it and I'll delete it as soon as I need to.
#54 to #50 - anon (01/14/2013) [-]
Would you be okay with posting yours instead? Haha, I'm not used to giving out my stuff! ><

If that's okay, anyway.
User avatar #30 - bayakpo **User deleted account** (01/14/2013) [-]
At first I thought to myself, tried to pull out things to reference Katawa Shoujo in your relationship, but then you yourself explained. Well at first you wrote all this tl;dr stuff, I can say that you've done this many time, hence the many skype messages. You see, the thing I never understood is that, why do people always want to chase after something. Cant they keep and cherish the memories. It seems so many time between you and her, you gave her 2 choices, never another route, kinda unfair if you ask me =(. My computer froze up several times because of the amount of stuff on this page. Anyways I say make a new picture and a new memory. You have to make something new, if you live with this past, nothing new will arise. And I've been where you at before. When people move away, when distances are formed, when time causes change. It's best to move on. I too was sorta like a Naruto seeking attention. If it's that you want to prove to yourself that you can be a better friend, let her go and befriend someone who actually needs to be heard and listened. Sounds to me she's doing things (like Hanako) to deal with her problems and that her boyfriend. You need to let go, you overstepped the boundaries. If she wants to come back to renew the friendship. You've initiated a lot of conversation, if she wants to talk to you again, she has to be the one to start. Otherwise give her her own space.
#13 - youxbarstard (01/13/2013) [-]
And here I was really hoping to go through the day without being hit by any feels D=
And here I was really hoping to go through the day without being hit by any feels D=
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