Lucid dream. . I am clearly dreaming I guess that !! 'd do anything tii) .: i.. Why were you sleeping in a microwave?
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User avatar #10 - jayzerhaze (01/11/2013) [-]
Why were you sleeping in a microwave?
#1 - anon (01/10/2013) [-]
well you were nailing a banana
#16 to #1 - slashendrix (01/11/2013) [-]
He likes getting anal.
#6 - highfocus (01/11/2013) [-]
i don't get it
i don't get it
User avatar #11 to #6 - ferbisboy (01/11/2013) [-]
like, how?
User avatar #50 - richardastley (01/11/2013) [-]
I had control over my dream the other day. I said "When I open this door, the girl I want to **** the most will be behind it." Sure enough one of my really hot friends was behind it. I went to nail her and she transformed into a baby.

What the **** .
#51 to #50 - isoscelessandwich (01/11/2013) [-]
The next morning.
The next morning.
#60 to #50 - turretbuddy (01/11/2013) [-]
#22 - Metallicock ONLINE (01/11/2013) [-]
I had a weird ******* dream the other night:

> randomly in a hot tub with this 9.5/10 philipino chick that had a crush on me in high school
> sitting in nipple high hot water
> shes naked (idk if I was because I was too focused on her fun bags)
> we're drinking shes drinking some fancy ass wine
> see runs out wine and says she is going to go get more
> she starts to stand up and I can see just below her waist
> she steps out all the way
> datass.jpg
> she turns towards me
> she has a dick
> I woke up
> pissed as ****
<--- My brains face when

Seriously brain, **** you. You could of made that dream the best ******* dream of my life, but no. You had to go and ******* ruin it for me.
I'm not gay, but I am still debating if I would have gone through with it

User avatar #38 to #22 - thatnerdyguy (01/11/2013) [-]
I seriously can't stop laughing from this.

Also, if she was really a 9.5 then I would have gone for it anyway.
#43 to #22 - felixjarl ONLINE (01/11/2013) [-]
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#90 to #22 - andalitemadness (01/11/2013) [-]
Yeah, our brain can create great situations for us to dream about, yet it chooses to instead use what it knows about us to customize nightmares so that they are as unpleasant for us as possible.
#92 to #22 - mrdrpage (01/11/2013) [-]
>She looks at me and asks for some bus fare
>I ask how much she needs
>She responds with "I need about tree fiddy."
>It was about that time I noticed this Filipino girl was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the Paleolithic era
>I said dammit you Loch Ness Monsta get out of my hot tub! You ain't gettin' my tree fiddy!
User avatar #15 - theblackhorntail (01/11/2013) [-]
The bed looks like a damn floppy disk...
User avatar #37 to #15 - preshmilk (01/11/2013) [-]
I thought it was a phone.
#36 - caliex (01/11/2013) [-]
This is what I saw.... A microwave.
#79 - ompalomper (01/11/2013) [-]
why does he need the girls?    
he was already nailing a banana
why does he need the girls?

he was already nailing a banana
User avatar #98 to #93 - niggerinagangbang **User deleted account** (01/11/2013) [-]
I laughed harder at this than I should
User avatar #89 to #81 - ompalomper (01/11/2013) [-]
son of a bitch. it's perfect! finally a counter!
#87 - mytrakytra (01/11/2013) [-]
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I had a dream that I won 1,000-1,500 dollars a week for life from a scratch-off. I was told that I either couldn't redeem it at the store I bought it from or that I actually didn't win and I had to go to the lottery building or some **** . All I can say is that I woke up very angry and confused. I actually felt a bit sad afterwards.

No I do not have a gambling addiction before any of you say so. I actually don't but tickets that much and haven't in a few months.
#102 to #87 - jdbbx (01/11/2013) [-]
By the way, did you hear about the guy who won his weight in chocolate and coconut every week? How long for, you ask? 'Til he ***** Bountys.

I apologise.
User avatar #7 - jeengak (01/11/2013) [-]
may i know why your pillow has a handle on it?
User avatar #14 - koocluks (01/11/2013) [-]
i also sleep in a microwave
User avatar #48 - waaw (01/11/2013) [-]
When I was a kid I used to be able to wake up at any time during a dream by focusing very hard on opening my eyes, which was very helpful because I had a lot of nightmares. Then one night I had a dream where I was trapped in the matrix and hiding from a dragon. I thought that it was going to find me, so I figured I should leave the dream and try falling back to sleep. I ducked behind a couch that I had just noticed and tried to wake up, but then the dragon came out oof nowhere and said "You can't escape me like that!" I managed to run away down a staircase that appeared out of no where and led into Sesame Street, but ever since then I've lost the ability to wake up at will. It's like I used to know somewhere that I could always escape, and then after that one time that it failed, I knew that the dreams could hold me in and it wouldn't work anymore.
#49 to #48 - nexonman (01/11/2013) [-]
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#103 to #48 - anon (01/11/2013) [-]
That's actually kinda horrifing.
User avatar #78 to #48 - crazyhindu (01/11/2013) [-]
thats sounds like its pretty handy, but i mean you could end up in hallucinatory sleep paralasyis that was, pretty much dreaming with your eyes open
#41 - snakefire (01/11/2013) [-]
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#82 to #41 - tazze (01/11/2013) [-]
so a banana works as a totem too
#63 to #41 - PartyGorilla (01/11/2013) [-]
How long have you been waiting to use that?
How long have you been waiting to use that?
User avatar #8 - picamix (01/11/2013) [-]
oh yeah nail that banana
#39 - huehuehueone (01/11/2013) [-]
**huehuehueone rolled a random image posted in comment #2397283 at My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic ** my dream last night
User avatar #40 to #39 - huehuehueone (01/11/2013) [-]
oh god why
#44 to #39 - huntergriff ONLINE (01/11/2013) [-]
**huntergriff rolled a random image posted in comment #30 at Do you even lift? ** My dream last night. please no ponies...
#45 - sweetellie (01/11/2013) [-]
Lucid dreams seem interesting.. is there a way I can make myself have them?
Lucid dreams seem interesting.. is there a way I can make myself have them?
#57 to #45 - anon (01/11/2013) [-]
Months to years of ******* practice.
User avatar #58 to #57 - sweetellie (01/11/2013) [-]
yeah but practice doing what?
User avatar #61 to #58 - smittywrbmnjnsn (01/11/2013) [-]
Well, you make a journal, where you right your dream AS SOON AS YOU WAKE UP.
(this trains your mind to remember dreams)
Then you have to establish a tell/totem/reality check. Something that is always different in your dream, than in real life. I personally, look at my hands every few minutes.
(This is so you will be able to distinguish when you ARE in a dream)
If you practice these 2 steps, you'll be lucid dreaming in a few weeks.
After a month of successful lucid dreaming, most people stop, after experiencing this thing called "sleep paralysis" which is accompanied with hallucinations of the thing you're afraid of the most.
#64 to #61 - sweetellie (01/11/2013) [-]
Sounds like a lot of effort for something that will apparently end very badly..
Sounds like a lot of effort for something that will apparently end very badly..
User avatar #67 to #64 - smittywrbmnjnsn (01/11/2013) [-]
WELL... if you manage to push through the horror, the possibilities are so endless, it's worth the risk.
You can actually start to program your dreaming.
I stopped for a little while after my first day-mare, but I came back, and now I've perfected a "save:load" method, that allows me to resume the dream I was having, the previous night.
If you get it really down, you can make a dream last for mental days.
Some writers use it, so that they can take endless, organized notes in their mind, and write a final draft in the morning.
#70 to #45 - teenytinyspider (01/11/2013) [-]
There's a lot of suggestions here but I hear listening to binural beats, I think is what it called, or delta waves or something like that will help with lucid dreaming. you listen to them as you fall asleep and it produces the same kind of waves that your brain makes when you're in REM sleep. It doesn't cause lucid dreaming, but it helps.

They also say to make a habit of looking at the time, at a clock or something such as an ordinary object because if you do that, there's a chance you'll see that object in your dream and your brain will realize that it's not how it should be and you'll then realize you're dreaming.
#25 - anon (01/11/2013) [-]
Let's post about dreams!

Back in high school I had a crush on a girl that was probably an 8/10, but my eyes saw her as an 11/10. I worked up enough courage to talk to her a few times, but I pretty much just made a fool out of myself each time. I'm older now and have learned for my younger self, though. I haven't seen that girl since 11th grade.

However, in the past couple days I would randomly dream about her. And in those dreams I actually got to talk to her without looking like an idiot. It was awesome. But now... well... I can't have that in real life. I wish I wasn't so shy in my youth.
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