why can't I have dreams like this?. twitter.com/PuzzledCellist. l Haha yeah man i E: Clo PM So I had a pretty vivid dream that I was a fart salesman, they came
x

why can't I have dreams like this?

l Haha yeah man i
E: Clo PM
So I had a pretty vivid
dream that I was a fart
salesman, they came in
like Coy canisters that
plugged into the side of
your leg
You got different sounds
and scents
And I remember telling a
lady that we were sold out
a particular kind and
she started crying
because that' s what she
wanted her farts to he like
fer her wedding
...
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Submitted: 01/09/2013
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#1 - PARTYHARD (01/10/2013) [-]
**PARTYHARD rolled a random image posted in comment #133 at Omegle OC **
User avatar #8 - ferbisboy (01/10/2013) [-]
my ******* sides
User avatar #7 - Nightinear **User deleted account** (01/10/2013) [-]
I thought farts were methane and not carbondioxide
User avatar #9 to #7 - endface (01/10/2013) [-]
He was saying they were IN CO2 tanks.
User avatar #10 to #9 - Nightinear **User deleted account** (01/10/2013) [-]
OH
#6 - classichospital (01/10/2013) [-]
**classichospital rolled a random image posted in comment #29 at Open Omastar **
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User avatar #3 - krasnogvardiech (01/10/2013) [-]
I had a pretty vivid one a while back.

>Parents are leaving me on my own for Christmas
>I have over $400 in my bank account. They leave me with just scraps and days-old turkey
>I leave the house and gather friends to go bargain hunting
>Go all sorts of places all over the city, looking for the ********* , cheapest supermarkets known to man
>Finally find a half-decent one
>Go inside, start buying things
>Small child crying its eyes out, mother trying to console him
>No idea what I did or said, but by the end the kid's crying in happiness and people are 'D'awwww'-ing
>We go outside with the first load, drop it off at the house
>We leave again, it's night-time now. As we leave, the security camera gets a glance of a large group of people sneaking over a fence and hurry-sneaking into our house
>We go on, searching for something
>Get in a huge billycart or go-kart and start pushing/moving
>Get about halfway up a hilly suburb, I do remember something about needing to get to 'Hill 11'.
>Get ******* tired around Hill 8. Take a detour into the utility buildings (storehouses and **** ) at the side of the road
>Find a storehouse with three microjet planes. I **** you not, these were tiny jetplanes.
>'Commandeer' them, fly up and out of town
>Go to a nearby farming sector, the extra man in one of the planes bails out
>No idea how we did it, but we manage to steal a biplane, a giant chicken, a silo full of corn, three cows and a ******* of vegetables
>Fly back, ditch the microjets somewhere, start hauling our gains back
>Just about to return home, when I see lights in our house.

(continued)
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#4 to #3 - krasnogvardiech has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #5 to #3 - krasnogvardiech (01/10/2013) [-]
>I put down my load and sprint over, knowing I left important **** in that house.
>Get inside, see a whole bunch of people. They can only be a family.
>Weird-ass things happening inside. I get a glimpse of a murderer going through a deathtrap maze (chainsaw traps, mostly) He starts going on about how insane it is to put him through this maze again.
>I have no idea why this happens, but we go through a portal into Hell. We see confused demons riding Cerberi and bigger demons hustling crowds of the smaller ones out of the area.
>Return to mortal world somehow
>Small kids in our house doing some unholy **** , one kid says "aagh! You ripped my face off! Can I rip off yours?!"
>Motherly voice calls for a meeting, peeps get up. Turns out they were only masks and games and two girls even kiss and make up.
>I walk in, sneaking around. The meeting talks about **** I don't remember, and slowly disperses. I sneak around more and track down the matron
>She's in the master bedroom, applying lipstick. I say some sort of thing and she hangs her head in defeat and heads to the living room.
>I eventually track down the other family members and get them all in one place
>(A particularly memorable conversation between me and the most chilled, happy and relaxed father/patron of all time happens. Too bad I have no idea of what I said.)
>Back to the living room, my Stepdad's here now and he pushed two couches together to make a bed
>I start saying something, and by the looks of defeat the family had, they likely are expecting me to kick them out
>I eventually do something that leads to me singing out two verses. The mother joins in, with other verses that make no sense. I botch the song on my next one, and everyone has a giggle.
>Eventually decide that having this house for Christmas isn't theirs to take, it's mine to give.

And that's when It ended. I have no idea what to make of this.
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