BASSOON. Turn off your damn devices. I like the word bassoon... 1. Set off phone 2. Get up on stage 3. Unzip pants 4. Start bassoon in front of audience 5. ???? 6. Profit! bassoon
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#2 - triplemanicstate
Reply +129
(12/31/2012) [-]
1. Set off phone
2. Get up on stage
3. Unzip pants
4. Start ******* bassoon in front of audience
5. ????
6. Profit!
#10 to #2 - hemming
Reply -1
(01/01/2013) [-]
Sounds like American Pie all over again...
#29 to #2 - maxismahname
Reply -1
(01/01/2013) [-]
actually you would probably get fined.
#54 to #29 - thedarkestrogue
Reply +1
(01/01/2013) [-]
fined for such a FINE ASS SEXUAL PERFORMANCE!
Watch as he humps that ****.
NO ******* HANDS ************!
FINE ASS performance.
#60 to #54 - itsmewaffle
Reply 0
(01/01/2013) [-]
how do you **** a bassoon with no hands...
how do you **** a bassoon with no hands...
#62 to #60 - thedarkestrogue
Reply +1
(01/01/2013) [-]
For a limited time only it will come with a HOLSTER BITCH!
NO HANDS BASSOON *******!
You wish your ****** wind instrument was as sexy as this MONSTER piece of WIND ASS!
#69 to #62 - hazardousfool
Reply +1
(01/01/2013) [-]
Can you ship that to Argentina?!
#70 to #69 - thedarkestrogue
Reply +1
(01/01/2013) [-]
BITCH I CAN SHIP TO ************* ANTARTICA!
FREE SHIPPING WHEN YOU BUY THREE ******* BAD ASS BASSOONS!
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M PLAYING *****?
FREE ******* LAMP TOO ASSBUTT!
#73 to #70 - hazardousfool
Reply 0
(01/01/2013) [-]
I can confirm this,i have received product.

Pic related,it's me and my bassoon.
#64 to #62 - itsmewaffle
Reply 0
(01/01/2013) [-]
oh god you crack me up
oh god you crack me up
#23 to #2 - jeroylenkins
Reply +11
(01/01/2013) [-]
And if you never call it again you have successfully "played" the bassoon.
#26 - nightmarecorpse
Reply +107
(01/01/2013) [-]
The staff's face when someone's phone goes off and they try to leave.
#27 to #26 - durkadurka ONLINE
Reply +8
(01/01/2013) [-]
#30 to #26 - IronTortureDevice
Reply +22
(01/01/2013) [-]
How long has that one been in the reaction folder?
#31 to #30 - nightmarecorpse
Reply +17
(01/01/2013) [-]
too long
#49 to #30 - ithinkimfunny
Reply +4
(01/01/2013) [-]
Since the last time this was posted ofc
#3 - ancano
Reply +76
(12/31/2012) [-]
jokes on you, I can play the bassoon
#15 to #3 - omeglejunkie
Reply +2
(01/01/2013) [-]
SAME, IM LIKE... ****** HALF-HOLES!
#5 to #3 - thefunnyside
Reply +4
(01/01/2013) [-]
what the **** is a bassoon
#39 to #5 - thebeatlesfan
Reply +7
(01/01/2013) [-]
A farting bed post.
#6 to #5 - ancano
Reply 0
(01/01/2013) [-]
A wind instrument.
#13 to #6 - BerryLicious
Reply +11
(01/01/2013) [-]
So... Your arse?
#22 to #13 - blargedyblarg
Reply +2
(01/01/2013) [-]
one diffrence on those 2. a basson can get you a fifty thousand dollar scholarship. your ass cant
#44 to #22 - isomeras
Reply +4
(01/01/2013) [-]
It can if you know how to use it.
#34 to #22 - pooplol
Reply +1
(01/01/2013) [-]
ya you can get a scholarship, if you are actually good at playing it. I play bassoon and trombone and I really want to quit bassoon because the other bassoon players have sticks up their ass 24/7 and wont stop being so uptight and never have fun.
#35 to #34 - blargedyblarg
Reply 0
(01/01/2013) [-]
well screw them. i derp around and play when i need to
#36 to #35 - pooplol
Reply +1
(01/01/2013) [-]
i do the same thing and they get platinum mad when I goof off. The trombone players at my school are ******* hilarious and wont stop playing around and is still one of the best sections.
#37 to #36 - blargedyblarg
Reply 0
(01/01/2013) [-]
that is their problem brother
#24 to #6 - disturbedmaster
Reply 0
(01/01/2013) [-]
dont they use bassons in jaz music along with things like the sax ect?
#7 - shamrockbandit
Reply +48
(01/01/2013) [-]
The trick is to play so quietly that no one can hear you.
#32 - generaljackass
Reply -5
(01/01/2013) [-]
All of a sudden everyone is a bassoon player. Seems legit.
#33 to #32 - splinfinity
Reply +28
(01/01/2013) [-]
Y'see, that's where they're all wrong. No one really plays the bassoon, they merely.. pretend to. It's less playing an instrument, and much more... Strangling a horse while boiling it in its own semen.
...
That entire sentence just went in my head with the Joker's voice. I think I need to internet less.
#4 - RequieminMortis
Reply +27
(01/01/2013) [-]
#46 - xxospreyxx
Reply +25
(01/01/2013) [-]
Can I pound the drum instead?
Can I pound the drum instead?
#17 - limegreenvoid
Reply +16
(01/01/2013) [-]
I played the bassoon for a year, best band instrument ever!!!
#55 to #17 - Kabutops
Reply +1
(01/01/2013) [-]
<-<......>->.....TRIANGLE :D
#42 to #17 - theavatarspupil
Reply +3
(01/01/2013) [-]
******* Trombone Master Race
#19 to #17 - belgerath
Reply +5
(01/01/2013) [-]
You and I both. Have a thumb.
#20 to #17 - onenightstand
Reply +5
(01/01/2013) [-]
Basson players!
#21 to #17 - blargedyblarg
Reply +7
(01/01/2013) [-]
BASSOON PRIDE MAN
#38 - downstreamlife
Reply +15
(01/01/2013) [-]
at a more strict concert: &quot;if your phone rings you'll have to play the skin flute&quot;
at a more strict concert: "if your phone rings you'll have to play the skin flute"
#14 - thedarkestrogue
Reply +14
(01/01/2013) [-]
-set phone to vibrate
-bring friend
-sneak grab his phone
-change it to very loud
-sneak replace it
-go to bathroom and call friend
-go back and enjoy performance as he ***** bassoon on stage.