Login or register


ilia-! . ciws-, i GREAT we so FAR!
At the point, the aliens will know we' re
somewhat inelegant. Rut let' s fees it; you'
spent a few hours on seine kind of alien emit and
s' Jg, gila, g' fatl takes
p no
In feet. be generally
annealed that in generations
to some " of history would
be divided we "" .
instead of the we see“-
we use new. "
So. to put it one ways-
arou' re going to be he most .
m at person in history. shower. Iplr
this up will most like y bivalve
Think, bigger then Jesus. ,',, hight “preset gar desire to learn game
The day you melts molest will live on. Through ell am. an a he " r spa sapwood e
empires end , fer as I as the human tees stylists. I ttf the thatta' ttl
Draw sonnet similar to what' s on the left
ill “mm” “II” here. It' ll let the eier' knew that we understand
BUT TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT THAT astronomy. Make an orbit around the third on
You limit get nervous tip. Just keep from the sun: That way I know we under-
a in key penis in your head and try to keep your eoll. stand our Plata. That' s res y. really important
Side mate: Make the orbit an oval, not at circle.
HOLD THE (acunit' STILL I mm ave surpass
in the Universe is ','i' we will show
his aliens will be we used to tilt like or thatt W“ Comms, ' 'twitting tta
s are ran was a sent: en
tied. They know this is whet non ad -aware organisms do.
Haitian sill is the that thing you need to do to show them 2. E.
we' re worth our weight in wags - is ta
also some basis eraser you we you why you don' t to SOME
needle panic: Between the insane rats at whim terminology I
mesons. end the massive amour of time a species must I: D AM N E D ') E
artist to have jirou h interstellar some the odds that we
will be '' ' ldl' ', within 5. 000 years of the aliens are E
roughly absolute zero. Think shout it the w tit won' t be MI LI I Y C) in
lasers vs. mechine guns", it' ll be more Ike "meteor In o "ttf
weapons vs. span ". The feet that you' re still alive will
mean t are g rig to allow us to artist. Fighting them, To . you' re going to
Matrix's ' is just not going to happen. Retail end make need to let the aliens know we'
the mum. unearthed our own evolutionary
Don' t panle when you see them. They' re going to look more . Put your at feelings Urls'
weird, if they have physical bodies at all. They likely won' t aside are: no not oak an alien mes
look like anything that has ever evolved on Earth. Hold still, in the eyes {west} and tell them the
be deliberate. and reset . universe was wasted for use
A good number of scientists believe the mi ht be the
NEXT UP: FINDING A MEDIUM -woes» agents to Ergo Darby ,', Ir, gitt
measure " -awareness. steeds e we were
TO COMMU N ICAME THROUGH was try E ewes we sue it J' l'' ljf" l' ' and draw
like above. showing an messes in
Th won' t s ask language. and won' t be able to . _
mass at your mitt? so might not e. M, our Jr, / t is the we citizenship
through sounds. and may not even hear die frequencies we
talk throw Human language. with its fuerte syntax. won' t
do. Fest s to talk. but know that this will just we the
aliens a general feel for how we sound. you won' t s able
to eon ideas verbally at first
In aliens seem to respond to visible tight, wilting
thangs down is r best bet. you lean tell whether they t):
respond to verb a light b sheeting out their tsi:: . is
it in any we; is it ? falt, 1 or decorated L
with test of some ind If so, as T, that makes things
If not, they most Mikel " to other types of (draw In this
red alien. That' s toe her. you I need to use rocks, or other to in some insets we want
ob sets. to . to maroon}
volt should probably win your
o own pen. If they provide any k rid of
it y
The hardest part e over. Now he tints to get hem to
So h the I at of , tah?. that SHEEN. and besoms the most famous
MATH. his aliens won' t know who hegiras was. but tor tality “WI SO attemp kn minnit
they' ll sure as shit know his theorem. T a right triangle will
show our alien venom. without any doubt. that humans are
Get dropped off in a major city
It ' at toot one bitrate trials
thatit get quite the reaction I
out of them. Label the sides I I
as men. Theyer probably
love that Forget your pen. or
do the aliens only respond to " "
gamma radiation? Well than
you' ll need to malts do. Get a dollar HI and some teenage' i
be tau ' since they won' t know what a mas
ls, what north or south are, or lemme and
longitude. Pointing with hands is also not
your friend here. T '", 'glatt meal
amass or was are as re as -
Time to oer ' sativa. Fold up a bill as They on this.
fll, ' l elites latte makes St,' ltt
angs your rm as shown in e
lldb' fal' ll)? your mash,“ of the mm , . Involve the local news
Matt In major math , timy may of Interests parties l ideal. military, 2',','' lif.
will probe be hopelessly out of your . phancts Make mm Every
league. Don feel bad; Meteroite Einstein. yum picture, Every newspaper WWY the
F - WE most ' In In knows you as a r? ii' iig' Perso. rt got caught
sand. something like this might survies:
Assuming a mastery of
highschool 'it' t, i' ilyt, . It at
mermaids owe r-
Seriously? No pop culture references
maal' numer any m in d 'taes that. K
t* inscribing Pt, to 'g''.''.' know something thatll go on a plaque. If
mt? , tta “II you' re dro pod off in a foreign country
tnow, you said. Don' t start granting or attempt to
kind of obvious have no idea" same. so they em tell
when you' re in way over m h . Iwould highly suggest
you worse with haste geometry and Hasbro
new. so you don' t make Eag' tta look umb by not knowing
how to and the diameter of a friggin' tenets it you' re the first
person they sweet.
They won' t know who Einstein was. but they' ll know about
know a out dis conservation of energy. They won' t know
the titans Lea. but 'll knew Hydrogen has one proton.
The won' t know any our religions. but die I know Pi is
inst net. They won' t know dis name “Daniel , butthen' ll be
familiar with natural selection. They' ll be familiar with
binary. but it won' t be zeros and tense. If they send u a
message with only two . repeating. more tr rm .
trur "one'. goo u. r' t" Aim? t' up if nee alive for a real really long time.
hosted‘ or am mod" e. T 'll new mathematical ' ll If
at' s what We all emu
speak he bit of Frente' i you teamed freshman
You' ll probably be killed
You' ll be the most importa.
human on Earth, and no matter what you do,
you' ll be extremely . There are
simply too ma subversive parties who will
want you dea for whatever reason and
in ‘It most likely stressed eventually. There
ten mush you we do about this one, sorry.
Reproduce as much as possible
some kind ennobling was in the Tatum.
Descendants of '', has a
good ring to it, don' t you ? Flue it' ll keep
LICENSE - 3' 1: III itin@ minion.
Views: 15761 Submitted: 12/29/2012
Hide Comments
Leave a comment Refresh Comments (63)
Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #2 - temporalguardian
Reply +37 123456789123345869
(12/29/2012) [-]
i read every ******* word.
User avatar #4 to #2 - graphically
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(12/29/2012) [-]
Same, it's good to know. I probably wouldn't of thought of doing half the logical **** on this list.
#7 to #4 - alexanderh
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
It's a really good list, and should it ever happen, you'd need to know it anyway.
#5 - ricaboo
Reply +21 123456789123345869
(12/29/2012) [-]
It just makes me sad thinking about how this would go down if a fanatically religious person were to be the first to make contact.
#20 - Muppetz
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
All of of this under the assumption that the aliens have eyes, or can process pictographic symbols in a similar fashion. For all we know they are just balls of sentient gasses.
also assuming the aliens are even on the same plane of cognizance as us.
also assuming the alien society would value things like humility.

Too many unknowns to actually formulate a game plan like this.
It's a fun concept though.
#63 to #20 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
I have a question for you. How do we know that the Northern Lights aren't really a race of Rainicorns from a foreign planet just hanging out up there as beings of gas and light?
User avatar #29 to #20 - oneeyedman
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Well yes, of course it's assuming those things. Without those assumptions we have absolultely NOTHING to go on, so we might as well be prepared for what could be, because if said aliens are balls of gases, then we aren't gonna be able to communicate with them anyway.

Yes there is too many unknowns and we will never really be prepared for something like this, but, again, we may as well try. It certainly is an interesting concept as you said.
User avatar #33 to #29 - ultimateiceman
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
if they're balls of gas we could just light the ******* up.
User avatar #42 to #33 - traveltech
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Now you're assuming flammable gasses
User avatar #57 to #42 - Cookiez
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
What if we inhaled them by accident and they get like super pissed?
User avatar #60 to #57 - traveltech
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
No, that's how they take over our bodies
User avatar #61 to #60 - Cookiez
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
User avatar #3 - Metallicock
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(12/29/2012) [-]
**** that was a long read
User avatar #13 - starlightloves
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
You shouldn't take a shower afterwards! You should head straight to a lab so they can swab every trace of alien [goo/microbes/elements/fibres] off of you to study!
User avatar #14 to #13 - bloodofthedragon [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
This makes no sense to me. If you have made contact the visitors will be back. We would have time to study them and they would study us as well.
User avatar #19 to #14 - starlightloves
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
But if they don't?! What if we have nothing they need and they just move on and you took a goddamn shower because you felt icky? D:
User avatar #21 to #19 - bloodofthedragon [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Traveling to a little dot to find another intelligent life out in the vast universe and you think they are just going to forget about us? Besides what would these foreign bacteria do to help us?
User avatar #27 to #21 - bokkos
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Help us not have them murder us?
User avatar #38 to #19 - daentraya
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
This depends on how they travel. If they can overcome the vast giantness of space with easy, then perhaps finding other life would be easy. But as it is, they might be looking at our sun right now, as a star from their planet, asking the question 'is there life out there' in some way. If not, we'd be a rarity. Finally finding new life and then destroying it should be reserved for Krikkits
User avatar #23 - foelkera
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
**** you guys, the next alien I see is getting a fist in his genitals.
#44 to #23 - lemleet
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
if you find them
User avatar #56 to #23 - Cookiez
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Its all fun and games until they bring out the death star.
User avatar #12 - heartlessrobot
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
I imagine that unless aliens have death lasers that can destroy a planet from a distance, I think we'd stand a chance with nukes.
User avatar #15 to #12 - bloodofthedragon [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Why would we retaliate against them? They would be smarter then us and shouldn't we learn from them not try to destroy them?
User avatar #16 to #15 - heartlessrobot
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
If they attack us I mean.
User avatar #17 to #16 - bloodofthedragon [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Well if they attacked us we are probably ******. If they are an advanced species they probably live in a utopia. Perhaps they are vicious and do want to destroy us we would probably have slim to no chance.
#18 to #17 - heartlessrobot
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
This image has expired
#32 to #12 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Considering they travel throughout the cosmos at millions upon millions upon millions or miles per second,what do you think would happen if they hit a tiny rock?Or even a spec of dust?They would need something powerful just to keep them from crashing/exploding/having their ship fail.A nuke is like a piece of paper vs the bed you sleep in.
#40 to #12 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
i saw a "documentary" where they proposed earths best defence against spacecraft as of now is large gigantic wells with a nuke in the bottom, and a lot of water just above, and a large disk on top, or a lid.
detonate the nuke, water evaporates, steam expands, flings piece of **** into space, hoping to hit the aliens.
entire thing was quite speculative tho.
User avatar #24 to #12 - bokkos
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Nuclear technology would be as to them as the garden hoe is to us; Totally insignificant and far outdated with grander technology more so than we'd even be able to contemplate. Forget Independence Day, District 9, etc.: We would be totally dog-buggered to Mars.
User avatar #59 to #24 - Cookiez
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
But even if technology is outdated, it isn't useless. We have guns nowadays but that doesn't mean an arrow cant kill you.
User avatar #62 to #59 - bokkos
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Both are projectile weapons, and guns were only invented in the last 400 years. We're talking a gap closer to ten to fifteen thousand years, a far more gigantic leap than a mere half millennium.
User avatar #35 - dieabolical
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Well that's silly. There's no such thing as "Aliens" God created this world for us, we are the top of the food chain. Dumb arses.
#36 to #35 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
I hope it's not you, or we're all doomed.
User avatar #37 to #36 - dieabolical
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
It's a joke dude.
User avatar #8 - hirollin
Reply -13 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
But what if the aliens are religious? Why would one assume they aren't? Why are we even assuming that the aliens with all their technology haven't researched us? I mean, you would at least google the different country you go to before you move there.

This plan is flawed. This isn't even funny.
User avatar #26 to #8 - bokkos
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
We live on a planet covered in animals, yet we hardly know the first thing of a lot of them. If we as sapient beings are having a rough time discerning habits of fairly cognitively simple creatures, how would an alien fare with absolutely no knowledge of something as critical as to how we communicate?
User avatar #9 to #8 - graphically
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
The logic you're using is so ridiculously flawed. Please think it over for a bit.
#47 - johnylingo
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#48 to #47 - maddboiy
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#49 to #48 - johnylingo
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
#50 to #49 - maddboiy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#51 to #50 - johnylingo
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
**** this im out

Peace off bitches
#52 to #51 - maddboiy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/30/2012) [-]
Comment Picture