aliens. . RE THE FIRST HUMAN EVER TO MAKE ALIEN CONTACT MOST HIST ARIANS AND SCIENTISTS AGREE THIS WOULD BE THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENT IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY il
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aliens

RE THE FIRST HUMAN
EVER TO MAKE ALIEN CONTACT
MOST HIST ARIANS
AND SCIENTISTS
AGREE THIS WOULD BE
THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENT
IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY
ilia-! . ciws-, i GREAT we so FAR!
NOW FOR THE
At the point, the aliens will know we' re
somewhat inelegant. Rut let' s fees it; you'
spent a few hours on seine kind of alien emit and
s' Jg, gila, g' fatl takes
p no
In feet. be generally
annealed that in generations
to some " of history would
be divided we "" .
instead of the we see“-
we use new. "
So. to put it one ways-
arou' re going to be he most .
m at person in history. shower. Iplr
this up will most like y bivalve
Think, bigger then Jesus. ,',, hight “preset gar desire to learn game
The day you melts molest will live on. Through ell am. an a he " r spa sapwood e
empires end , fer as I as the human tees stylists. I ttf the thatta' ttl
Draw sonnet similar to what' s on the left
ill “mm” “II” here. It' ll let the eier' knew that we understand
BUT TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT THAT astronomy. Make an orbit around the third on
You limit get nervous tip. Just keep from the sun: That way I know we under-
a in key penis in your head and try to keep your eoll. stand our Plata. That' s res y. really important
Side mate: Make the orbit an oval, not at circle.
HOLD THE (acunit' STILL I mm ave surpass
in the Universe is ','i' we will show
his aliens will be we used to tilt like or thatt W“ Comms, ' 'twitting tta
s are ran was a sent: en
tied. They know this is whet non ad -aware organisms do.
Haitian sill is the that thing you need to do to show them 2. E.
we' re worth our weight in wags - is ta
also some basis eraser you we you why you don' t to SOME
needle panic: Between the insane rats at whim terminology I
mesons. end the massive amour of time a species must I: D AM N E D ') E
artist to have jirou h interstellar some the odds that we
will be '' ' ldl' ', within 5. 000 years of the aliens are E
roughly absolute zero. Think shout it the w tit won' t be MI LI I Y C) in
lasers vs. mechine guns", it' ll be more Ike "meteor In o "ttf
weapons vs. span ". The feet that you' re still alive will
mean t are g rig to allow us to artist. Fighting them, To . you' re going to
Matrix's ' is just not going to happen. Retail end make need to let the aliens know we'
the mum. unearthed our own evolutionary
Don' t panle when you see them. They' re going to look more . Put your at feelings Urls'
weird, if they have physical bodies at all. They likely won' t aside are: no not oak an alien mes
look like anything that has ever evolved on Earth. Hold still, in the eyes {west} and tell them the
be deliberate. and reset . universe was wasted for use
A good number of scientists believe the mi ht be the
NEXT UP: FINDING A MEDIUM -woes» agents to Ergo Darby ,', Ir, gitt
measure " -awareness. steeds e we were
TO COMMU N ICAME THROUGH was try E ewes we sue it J' l'' ljf" l' ' and draw
like above. showing an messes in
Th won' t s ask language. and won' t be able to . _
mass at your mitt? so might not e. M, our Jr, / t is the we citizenship
through sounds. and may not even hear die frequencies we
talk throw Human language. with its fuerte syntax. won' t
do. Fest s to talk. but know that this will just we the
aliens a general feel for how we sound. you won' t s able
to eon ideas verbally at first
In aliens seem to respond to visible tight, wilting
thangs down is r best bet. you lean tell whether they t):
respond to verb a light b sheeting out their tsi:: . is
it in any we; is it ? falt, 1 or decorated L
with test of some ind If so, as T, that makes things
If not, they most Mikel " to other types of (draw In this
red alien. That' s toe her. you I need to use rocks, or other to in some insets we want
ob sets. to . to maroon}
volt should probably win your
o own pen. If they provide any k rid of
it y
TIME To an OUTTA
The hardest part e over. Now he tints to get hem to
So h the I at of , tah?. that SHEEN. and besoms the most famous
MATH. his aliens won' t know who hegiras was. but tor tality “WI SO attemp kn minnit
they' ll sure as **** know his theorem. T a right triangle will
show our alien venom. without any doubt. that humans are
Get dropped off in a major city
It ' at toot one bitrate trials
thatit get quite the reaction I
out of them. Label the sides I I
as men. Theyer probably
love that Forget your pen. or
do the aliens only respond to " "
gamma radiation? Well than
you' ll need to malts do. Get a dollar HI and some teenage' i
be tau ' since they won' t know what a mas
ls, what north or south are, or lemme and
longitude. Pointing with hands is also not
your friend here. T '", 'glatt meal
amass or was are as re as -
Time to oer ' sativa. Fold up a bill as They on this.
fll, ' l elites latte makes St,' ltt
angs your rm as shown in e
lldb' fal' ll)? your mash,“ of the mm , . Involve the local news
Matt In major math , timy may of Interests parties l ideal. military, 2',','' lif.
will probe be hopelessly out of your . phancts Make mm Every
league. Don feel bad; Meteroite Einstein. yum picture, Every newspaper WWY the
F - WE most ' In In knows you as a r? ii' iig' Perso. rt got caught
sand. something like this might survies:
Assuming a mastery of
highschool 'it' t, i' ilyt, . It at
mermaids owe r-
Seriously? No pop culture references
maal' numer any m in d 'taes that. K
t* inscribing Pt, to 'g''.''.' know something thatll go on a plaque. If
mt? , tta “II you' re dro pod off in a foreign country
tnow, you said. Don' t start granting or attempt to
kind of obvious have no idea" same. so they em tell
when you' re in way over m h . Iwould highly suggest
you worse with haste geometry and Hasbro
new. so you don' t make Eag' tta look umb by not knowing
how to and the diameter of a friggin' tenets it you' re the first
person they sweet.
STUFF
They won' t know who Einstein was. but they' ll know about
know a out dis conservation of energy. They won' t know
the titans Lea. but 'll knew Hydrogen has one proton.
The won' t know any our religions. but die I know Pi is
inst net. They won' t know dis name “Daniel , butthen' ll be
familiar with natural selection. They' ll be familiar with
binary. but it won' t be zeros and tense. If they send u a
message with only two . repeating. more tr rm .
trur "one'. goo u. r' t" Aim? t' up if nee alive for a real really long time.
hosted‘ or am mod" e. T 'll new mathematical ' ll If
at' s what We all emu
speak he bit of Frente' i you teamed freshman
year.
You' ll probably be killed
You' ll be the most importa.
human on Earth, and no matter what you do,
you' ll be extremely . There are
simply too ma subversive parties who will
want you dea for whatever reason and
in ‘It most likely stressed eventually. There
ten mush you we do about this one, sorry.
Reproduce as much as possible
some kind ennobling was in the Tatum.
Descendants of '', has a
good ring to it, don' t you ? Flue it' ll keep
LICENSE - 3' 1: III itin@ minion.
...
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Comments(62):

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User avatar #2 - temporalguardian ONLINE (12/29/2012) [+] (2 replies)
i read every ******* word.
#5 - ricaboo (12/29/2012) [-]
It just makes me sad thinking about how this would go down if a fanatically religious person were to be the first to make contact.
#20 - Muppetz (12/30/2012) [+] (7 replies)
All of of this under the assumption that the aliens have eyes, or can process pictographic symbols in a similar fashion. For all we know they are just balls of sentient gasses.
also assuming the aliens are even on the same plane of cognizance as us.
also assuming the alien society would value things like humility.

Too many unknowns to actually formulate a game plan like this.
It's a fun concept though.
User avatar #3 - Metallicock (12/29/2012) [-]
**** that was a long read
User avatar #13 - starlightloves (12/30/2012) [+] (5 replies)
You shouldn't take a shower afterwards! You should head straight to a lab so they can swab every trace of alien [goo/microbes/elements/fibres] off of you to study!
User avatar #23 - foelkera (12/30/2012) [+] (2 replies)
**** you guys, the next alien I see is getting a fist in his genitals.
User avatar #12 - heartlessrobot (12/30/2012) [+] (9 replies)
I imagine that unless aliens have death lasers that can destroy a planet from a distance, I think we'd stand a chance with nukes.
User avatar #35 - dieabolical (12/30/2012) [+] (2 replies)
Well that's silly. There's no such thing as "Aliens" God created this world for us, we are the top of the food chain. Dumb arses.
User avatar #37 to #36 - dieabolical (12/30/2012) [-]
It's a joke dude.
User avatar #8 - hirollin (12/30/2012) [+] (2 replies)
But what if the aliens are religious? Why would one assume they aren't? Why are we even assuming that the aliens with all their technology haven't researched us? I mean, you would at least google the different country you go to before you move there.

This plan is flawed. This isn't even funny.
User avatar #9 to #8 - graphically (12/30/2012) [-]
The logic you're using is so ridiculously flawed. Please think it over for a bit.
#47 - johnylingo (12/30/2012) [+] (5 replies)
Comment Picture
#48 to #47 - maddboiy (12/30/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #30 - I Am Monkey (12/30/2012) [-]
There was a good show on the Science Channel called "First Contact" that was pretty much this. I highly recommend it.
User avatar #22 - wyatttehrobot (12/30/2012) [+] (1 reply)
tl;dr
User avatar #31 to #22 - sasquatchmaniaman ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
Read it or sasquatch will kill you!
#10 - thewiseass (12/30/2012) [-]
Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep nini bong!
#58 - anonymous (12/30/2012) [-]
there is one problem illnesses... they will have been spending thousands of years developing immunity to their sicknesses, as we have ours. So in he event of aliens landing or making contact they will end up spreading a plague. just like when Columbus landed in america and thousands of natives died many of us would die due to contact.
#54 - sickpuppie (12/30/2012) [-]
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User avatar #53 - giveupnow (12/30/2012) [-]
Too many words.
#46 - lemleet (12/30/2012) [-]
it's sad that we most likely never experience interplanetary travel
User avatar #25 - coursicar (12/30/2012) [-]
read it all... my head hurts.
#11 - anonymous (12/30/2012) [-]
"the fact that you are still alive only means that they will still allow us to exist" I call ******** . The fact that they traveled here from where the **** ever probably means that they developed a lot of time into their space program, right? So, they probably are no where near as concerned about their military advances as we are. Even if they were, do you really think they would travel all that distance just to go, "alright, **** this species". Nah man, that **** doesn't happen. Also, we've driven countless species to extinction, we've slaughtered billions of our own just for pleasure and we ******* nailed our god to a tree. The human race is ******* insane, do not **** with us. It doesn't matter how hard it would be to kill them, we'll find a way. Killing is what we are best at. Honestly, if aliens did have the capability to reach earth, than my guess is that they already did, saw what ******* psychos we are, and got the **** out of dodge.
tl;dr: aliens won't come as invaders, and even if they did, humans are nuts, we'll ****** eat them alive
User avatar #6 - deaththekidkun (12/30/2012) [+] (1 reply)
I don't know why I read all of that....
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