Lawyers.... So this is your plan?. This was Actually Said.. ti' l' iai'' l This was actually said in court and when from a transcript: Llwymr: "Doctor, Earn you lawyers
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Lawyers...

Lawyers.... So this is your plan?. This was Actually Said.. ti' l' iai'' l This was actually said in court and when from a transcript: Llwymr: "Doctor, Earn you

So this is your plan?

Tags: lawyers
This was Actually Said.. ti' l' iai'' l
This was actually said in court and when from a transcript:
Llwymr: "Doctor, Earn you the ah. did you check: for E taba?"
Lawyer: "Did gran for Hand pressure?“
Lawn: "Did you chuck fur breathing?"
Lawyer: ", then it is passible that the patient was alive when you began the
Lunar: "Haw can you be so sure, Duster?"
What: “Because his brain was sitting an my tiktik. in a ian''
Lamar: "But maid the patient have mil been aha "
hut: "TBS, it that he mutt! have been alive and practicing taint
...
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Views: 50441
Favorited: 150
Submitted: 12/29/2012
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Comments(133):

[ 133 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#78 - slashtrey (12/30/2012) [-]
seems legit
#16 - eternalcorn (12/30/2012) [-]
this is old as ****
#134 to #16 - IncarceratedNinja (12/30/2012) [-]
why do i find this so hysterically funny???
#66 - thebigcountry (12/30/2012) [-]
Forgive me if I am mistaken.... But to have an autopsy done... Doesn't the person have to be... You know.. Declared dead?
User avatar #68 to #66 - philliyoMLB (12/30/2012) [-]
The person giving the autopsy doesn't have to declare someone dead, the victim should already be declared dead earlier by an e.m.t. or doctor of some sort.
User avatar #73 to #68 - thebigcountry (12/30/2012) [-]
That's what I meant. There's no real need to check because generally an autopsy is done to find a cause of death. Therefore they would need already be dead for an autopsy even to happen.
User avatar #74 to #73 - thebigcountry (12/30/2012) [-]
Already need to be dead*

I accidentally that sentence...
User avatar #139 to #68 - wunderwaffe (12/30/2012) [-]
neither EMT's or paramedics can declare a person dead only a doctor can
User avatar #142 to #139 - philliyoMLB (12/30/2012) [-]
I did not know that thank you.
#85 to #66 - wehavecandy (12/30/2012) [-]
Yes, he needs to declare himself dead first.
#42 - Fwimble (12/30/2012) [-]
"But could the patient have still been alive nonetheless?"
#64 to #42 - fisheaglee (12/30/2012) [-]
**fisheaglee rolls 8,742** Cut off your dick and shove it up your ass then replace your dick with the bannanna, goto the most populated place you can and scream that you hate gays
#87 to #64 - qworta (12/30/2012) [-]
y
#76 - Wazzy (12/30/2012) [-]
User avatar #14 to #8 - richardastley (12/30/2012) [-]
I love content like this. They could somehow cite the case, but instead they go with "This was actually recorded in an actual case in a real court room. This isn't a lie at all."
#95 - JMF (12/30/2012) [-]
Well, I thought it was humorous.
#114 to #95 - shreddddzd (12/30/2012) [-]
I bet you also think its humorous to steal my lines don't you?
User avatar #96 to #95 - waterbottlemanboy (12/30/2012) [-]
I do not get it. Please explain?
#99 to #96 - JMF (12/30/2012) [-]
The doctor is becoming frustrated with the lawyer questioning his ability to determine whether or not the cadaver is actually deceased. He then makes a snide remark stating that the cadaver could still be alive sans brain, and be practicing law somewhere (being a lawyer (brainless)).
User avatar #101 to #99 - waterbottlemanboy (12/30/2012) [-]
Okay, thank you, here, take my thumbs.
#97 to #95 - karnax (12/30/2012) [-]
Have this
User avatar #118 to #97 - karnax (12/30/2012) [-]
Well alrighty then.
#7 - anon (12/29/2012) [-]
if you're gonna copy old stuf atleast put it in a comp so we see lots of old stuff at once
User avatar #63 - evilpotato (12/30/2012) [-]
Is the doctor the witness, culprit, or both?
#20 - gnometrain (12/30/2012) [-]
OP say's it happened, must be true.
User avatar #111 to #20 - owmyballsack (12/30/2012) [-]
at the end: "dont believe in bob saget's mastodon."

gotta love operator.
User avatar #38 - exnorth (12/30/2012) [-]
**exnorth rolls 3,221**

Quads and the first comment gets to decide what I do with a banana.
User avatar #62 to #38 - namnori (12/30/2012) [-]
**namnori rolls 3,592** eat it without peeling it.
User avatar #70 to #62 - exnorth (12/30/2012) [-]
That would be horrible!
User avatar #72 to #70 - namnori (12/30/2012) [-]
I imagine so
#86 to #38 - xtremedeath (12/30/2012) [-]
**xtremedeath rolls 1,270** shove the banana up Obama's ass

As if anyone is going to actually successfully roll quads anyways
#133 to #38 - anon (12/30/2012) [-]
I dunno, Make a smoothie. They're good. I had one yesterday
User avatar #83 to #38 - gothdino (12/30/2012) [-]
**gothdino rolls 9,926** make banana nut bread.
User avatar #56 to #38 - xxkosukexx ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
**xxkosukexx rolls 7,480** eat it, because that's what bananas are for, you jack ass....
User avatar #82 to #38 - exnorth (12/30/2012) [-]
**exnorth rolls 1,740**

Don't eat it.
User avatar #92 to #38 - somekornchick (12/30/2012) [-]
**somekornchick rolls 0,697** EAT IT!!
User avatar #50 to #38 - xxkosukexx ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
**xxkosukexx rolls 6,536** give it to a homeless person.
User avatar #51 to #38 - xxkosukexx ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
**xxkosukexx rolls 5,113** shove it in a hobos ass.
User avatar #58 to #38 - redheadedgamer (12/30/2012) [-]
**redheadedgamer rolls 0,664** cut off your penis and replace it with the banana
User avatar #75 to #38 - LukeDogg (12/30/2012) [-]
**LukeDogg rolls 7,599**
Slowly eat it in front of a starving African child.
#80 to #38 - anon (12/30/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolls 4,842** Eat the banana, but don't peel it.
User avatar #94 to #38 - peanutbuttahjellah (12/30/2012) [-]
**peanutbuttahjellah rolls 0,613** Walk up to a stranger on the street, hand them the banana and whisper in their ear, "The oracle told me you were the one."
User avatar #107 to #94 - nuclearapparition (12/30/2012) [-]
This needs more thumbs of the green variety.
User avatar #108 to #107 - peanutbuttahjellah (12/30/2012) [-]
I can't thumb myself, sorry.
User avatar #60 to #38 - supername (12/30/2012) [-]
**supername rolls 6,701**
User avatar #53 to #38 - xxkosukexx ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
**xxkosukexx rolls 0,959** shove it up your ass and then butt slam the floor.
User avatar #39 to #38 - exnorth (12/30/2012) [-]
**exnorth rolls 268**

Trips and I win the lottery some time in the future.
User avatar #40 to #39 - exnorth (12/30/2012) [-]
**exnorth rolls 104,543,155**
#89 to #40 - anon (12/30/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolls 0,293** rub it all over your body
#91 to #89 - anon (12/30/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolls 5,262** mix it with water and drink it
User avatar #121 to #91 - trollgoodness (12/30/2012) [-]
**trollgoodness rolls 5,333** shove it up your ass
User avatar #88 to #38 - spanishninja ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
**spanishninja rolls 2,599**
insert it on your anus.
User avatar #106 to #38 - jwash (12/30/2012) [-]
**jwash rolls 9,074** tell it that its adopted
User avatar #61 to #38 - exnorth (12/30/2012) [-]
**exnorth rolls 6,903**

Eat it.
User avatar #103 to #38 - krasnogvardiech (12/30/2012) [-]
**krasnogvardiech rolls 8,059**

Make a Banana and Passionfruit Pavlova.
User avatar #52 to #38 - tunotoo ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
**tunotoo rolls 4,327**
User avatar #98 to #38 - Dwarf (12/30/2012) [-]
**Dwarf rolls 3,869** All right, here we go. Throw it away.
User avatar #138 to #38 - comexx (12/30/2012) [-]
**comexx rolls 4,563** eat it or feed it to someone
User avatar #59 to #38 - nuckfuggets (12/30/2012) [-]
**nuckfuggets rolls 217,292,876** give it to a homeless man, you do not deserve it.
0
#84 to #38 - gnometrain has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #57 to #38 - xxkosukexx ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
**xxkosukexx rolls 7,774** eat a dick
User avatar #49 to #38 - damago (12/30/2012) [-]
**damago rolls 7,882** shove it down your throat and don't pull it back out until you suffocate and die, you piece of ****
#30 - anon (12/30/2012) [-]
The 'Witness' quoted was Sir Bernard Spilsbury, who some see as the father of forensic pathology.
This joke is probably the oldest on FJ - Spilsbury died in 1947.
#2 - anon (12/29/2012) [-]
This is my favorite one of these
#115 - anon (12/30/2012) [-]
enjoy all of your red thumbs you 9gag loving faggots
#117 to #115 - anon (12/30/2012) [-]
shut up anon.

love, anon
#132 to #117 - odaer (12/30/2012) [-]
... so this is what it's like when people say they're bi-polar.
#15 - crosskill ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
I see that OP is choking on 			******		 dicks again today.
I see that OP is choking on ****** dicks again today.
User avatar #22 - thedarkestrogue (12/30/2012) [-]
While it has been said, it has also been posted multiple times.
User avatar #36 - The Fonz (12/30/2012) [-]
This was Actually Said, about a week ago
User avatar #37 to #36 - psychonixx (12/30/2012) [-]
I saw this over a year ago.

Yeah, nah OPs a faggot.
User avatar #1 - pokemonstheshiz (12/29/2012) [-]
You can live without your cerebrum
You'd be in a completely vegetative state, but you could technically be alive.

So it's a mildly valid question, though unlikely. Better to be safe than sorry when you're a lawyer.
User avatar #144 to #1 - anonymousperson (03/03/2014) [-]
oh no
User avatar #145 to #144 - pokemonstheshiz (03/03/2014) [-]
this was a while ago lol
User avatar #146 to #145 - anonymousperson (03/03/2014) [-]
just a bit
User avatar #55 to #31 - pokemonstheshiz (12/30/2012) [-]
Nice to see you jumping on the bandwagon

When they put brains in jars, they don't neccesarily include the brainstem, which is the part necessary for life, especially the medulla oblongata which is what regulates heartbeat and breathing and any other ANS responses.
#67 to #55 - ohemgeezus ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
ITT:pokemontheshiz is a butthurt ****** faggot because an anon just put his punk ass in place.
#69 to #67 - pokemonstheshiz (12/30/2012) [-]
it was only a mild discrepancy about what the lawyer meant,  people just flip out when anons say something more than "faggot"   
and if I gave a 			****		 I would just delete my comment
it was only a mild discrepancy about what the lawyer meant, people just flip out when anons say something more than "faggot"
and if I gave a **** I would just delete my comment
#135 to #55 - makethingsworse (12/30/2012) [-]
So you're saying a human body could function with just a brainstem? How about you think about that for a while before responding. Think about it with your BRAIN. Breathe with your lungs that react to messages sent to the BRAIN. Maybe take a **** because your BRAIN recognized the body needed to rid itself of waste.
User avatar #136 to #135 - pokemonstheshiz (12/30/2012) [-]
your brain stem controls your automatic responses like breathing and your heart. Which is why you would be in a vegetative state.
User avatar #137 to #136 - makethingsworse (12/30/2012) [-]
I don't think you understand. The brain controls the brainstem. If the brain weren't there, the brainstem wouldn't be doing anything.
User avatar #140 to #137 - pokemonstheshiz (12/30/2012) [-]
I assume by "brain" you mean cerebrum. In which case, you're wrong. The brain stem can function without active responses from the cerebrum or cerebellum. I'm not sure if it can survive without them being there at all, because I don't think that has been done.
If you're referring to "brain" as the entire system, then obviously because the brainstem is part of it.
#3 to #1 - anon (12/29/2012) [-]
Ah, but the coroner did not say cerebrum, he said brain, which refers to the entire portion of the CNS in the cephalic cavity, including the midbrain and brainstem, which are required for sustained life. Lawyered.

Also, I feel I must point out one of the most missed grammatical errors of all time. It should be "because his brain was sitting in a jar on my desk," not "because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." The latter version implies that the speaker's desk is inside of a jar, through what is known as a misplaced or dangling modifier.
#5 to #3 - autoxx (12/29/2012) [-]
I always enjoy a good dangling modifier.
User avatar #9 to #5 - Kamesakke (12/29/2012) [-]
So does your mom.
#18 to #9 - autoxx (12/30/2012) [-]
Of course she does, she loves her work....
User avatar #4 to #3 - jarelk (12/29/2012) [-]
Did you just let me LEARN something on funnyjunk!?
#27 to #3 - toyaisle ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
Here, take this.
Here, take this.
#65 to #3 - chaoticlaw ONLINE (12/30/2012) [-]
Anon just lawyered a user.

Holy **** .
#41 to #3 - orgasm (12/30/2012) [-]
Knowledge?
Knowledge?
User avatar #10 to #3 - foreseeker (12/29/2012) [-]
I applaud to you
User avatar #23 - flyingbaconsixnine (12/30/2012) [-]
ha ha ha.
classic gag.
User avatar #54 to #23 - dustyshane (12/30/2012) [-]
ha ha ha.
classic fag.
#33 to #23 - yoh **User deleted account** (12/30/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #34 to #33 - flyingbaconsixnine (12/30/2012) [-]
ha ha ha.
classic gag.
#28 to #23 - xozonex (12/30/2012) [-]
Getting real sick of your ****
User avatar #29 to #28 - flyingbaconsixnine (12/30/2012) [-]
ha ha ha.
classic gag.
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