Oops. . some of you have to pluck your eye out... Sorry about " . '. Mlai PIU" CIN I Jesus said - If you look mom: L', © a woman - you have mood ' committed adu
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Oops

some of you
have to pluck
your eye out...
Sorry about " . '. Mlai
PIU"
CIN I
Jesus said - If you look mom: L', © a woman - you have mood '
committed adultery © your heart _, s, f, t', t; this - plum: out an
eye and throw it away - if you ha . .. .. her, cut hand!
...
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Views: 30521
Favorited: 52
Submitted: 12/26/2012
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Comments(186):

[ 186 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #20 - maidenmk ONLINE (12/26/2012) [-]
Adultery, lustfully, plucking, cutting. I care not for these things. I simply wish to put my face between those tits. If god is not on my side on that, then he is not god.
#107 - vegetatheprince (12/27/2012) [-]
Adultery= cheating in a relationship

>implying im in a relationship
#173 to #107 - dinobamf (12/27/2012) [-]
Adultery=having sex before marriage.   
   
I guess the meaning does change with time though.
Adultery=having sex before marriage.

I guess the meaning does change with time though.
#49 - SokkaTheWarrior (12/26/2012) [-]
id be blind, and without feet or hands
User avatar #83 to #49 - Gerex (12/27/2012) [-]

Bob?
User avatar #165 to #49 - partnerintroll (12/27/2012) [-]
and then she sits on your lap.
User avatar #62 to #49 - trollwoopnazi (12/27/2012) [-]
Perfect execution. High five and thumb for you
User avatar #69 to #62 - taxation (12/27/2012) [-]
But neither for the guy in the picture
#71 to #69 - anon (12/27/2012) [-]
That's Nick Vujicic

ehs a pretty cool guy. he has no limbs and he doesn't afraid of anything.
User avatar #74 to #71 - taxation (12/27/2012) [-]
Well yeah, for anybody to continue on living without any limbs makes them one bloody awesome person. I'm just horrible, so I had to make a joke about it!
#27 - howaboutnsfw (12/26/2012) [-]
No girlfriend = no adultery

Nice try OP
User avatar #43 to #27 - ost (12/26/2012) [-]
Notice - "some of you"
User avatar #99 to #27 - gerikhero (12/27/2012) [-]
Fornication.

TL;DR : He is going to have to pluck his eyes out anyway cause he committed sin just like the rest of us and is not safe from Gods wrath.
#51 to #27 - anon (12/26/2012) [-]
its actually wife. You can't commit adultery without being married to someone.
#145 - holmesc (12/27/2012) [-]
what the comment section looks like
what the comment section looks like
+16
#123 - thesilverpanther **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
0
#127 to #123 - Axemaniax **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#195 to #123 - tjocksnorris ONLINE (12/29/2012) [-]
i think the whole 'god' thing is metaphorical, but people really thinks there is a bearded guy up there somewhere
User avatar #143 to #123 - cullenatorguy (12/27/2012) [-]
Please point out the verse that says, "Don't take this **** seriously."

This was very much a real command to people back then. You know why? Because they weren't a part of a civilized and developed society. I can take anything metaphorical. I think I'll take Jesus' preaching about love as metaphorical and make love mean "stabbing". I can do that, because it's all metaphorical. You have no way of telling what is to be taken literally and what is not. The book is all **** . That's the only real answer.
User avatar #126 to #123 - pokedan (12/27/2012) [-]
No, it really meant that, unfortunately, we just want it to be metaphorical 'cos who wants to be stoned to death for masturbating or eating bacon?
User avatar #129 to #123 - Katzie (12/27/2012) [-]
I don't think a man has ever plucked an eye out because of dem titties.
#13 - xAELiTe (12/26/2012) [-]
>sees tits   
>looks lustfully   
>reads captions   
>awaits proof that tits are on a female   
>does not pluck out eyes   
>mfw
>sees tits
>looks lustfully
>reads captions
>awaits proof that tits are on a female
>does not pluck out eyes
>mfw
#84 - TehFunnyMan (12/27/2012) [-]
JOKE'S ON YOU! I'M SINGLE!
JOKE'S ON YOU! I'M SINGLE!
#104 to #84 - pxthreezerothree (12/27/2012) [-]
Still counts, all you have to do is not be married to the person you are have sex with. Doesn't matter if you are married to someone else or not.
User avatar #65 - wertgf (12/27/2012) [-]
Actually, I'm off to **** . Thanks for reminding me OP/
#158 - mauhdzlpd (12/27/2012) [-]
actually, its metaphoric, not literal
#101 - memeinmycoffee (12/27/2012) [-]
MFW The majority of the BIble.
MFW The majority of the BIble.
-5
#106 to #101 - derpderpurface has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #111 to #106 - bokkos (12/27/2012) [-]
"Authors". Not to mention some of the greatest stories ever told are in the Bible, and it's complete and utter ignorance to dismiss a good read simply because you don't agree with the people who arbitrarily follow it.
User avatar #116 to #111 - pseudobob **User deleted account** (12/27/2012) [-]
Define great.
User avatar #179 to #116 - bokkos (12/27/2012) [-]
Important, grand, epic. Maybe not the best written, but honestly; ******* fireballs decimate a city and a woman gets turned into a giant salt lick. If that happened in Naruto or some **** people would go ape over that
#191 to #179 - pseudobob **User deleted account** (12/27/2012) [-]
There are some great quotes, but really, all books have great quotes. The Bible is just one of the longest single volumes. I'm sure if you searched through all of Song of Ice and Fire, you'd find a great plenty of epic lines, important ideas, and grand sentiments. Even short stories, like Lord of the Flies: Jack's comparison of killing to drinking a glass of cold water on a hot day; and Chrysalids: The observation that all the mutant forms of humans believe they are, in fact, the original form, and all others are inferior deviations from their perfect stock.

If you're just referring to an epic scale, **** . One of the signs of great literature is to not delve into the epic. Hell, I can name fanfictions to MLP:FiM that go into some epic world-end stuff, some of them by my own pen. But damn, the Bible has fire and floods and lightning! Not like that's ever been done before.
#118 to #111 - warriortnt (12/27/2012) [-]
Have you read the bible? I really don't think it qualifies as a good read. The 'great stories' of the bible really only got their grandeur from the exaggerated and reinterpreted retellings. Reading them in their original context in the bible is not so interesting.
User avatar #180 to #118 - bokkos (12/27/2012) [-]
Meh, I think they are. Jonah and the Giant fish (whale?) is interesting to say the least; It's like Jaws but with a fish five times larger.
#98 - bigrog (12/27/2012) [-]
allow me to enlighten the dumbasses athiest (let it be known i dont mean all athiest, just the jackasses) who think they have proven something here. The first part of this verse means that if you sit around gawking and fantasying about a woman who is not your wife its as bad as cheating on her. The second part means that you need to remove things that tempt you in you're life. If you have a friend who keeps incouraging who to do bad things stop hanging out with him, if you have a job next to a strip club and you feel the need to go there every day then quit that job.
User avatar #108 to #98 - mcstorms (12/27/2012) [-]
Yes and and they didn't truly throw stones at sinners they just gave them weed.
#112 to #108 - bigrog (12/27/2012) [-]
They didnt stone people for being sinners, they stoned them for breaking the laws fo their land, many of those laws just happened to be based of the bible. And if you didn't notice the laws were pretty harsh back then about pretty much everything. If you caught someone stealing if was perfectly okay to cut off there hand. In idia at that time if you caught you're wife cheating or didnt give you a son it was okay to light her on fire
User avatar #113 to #112 - mcstorms (12/27/2012) [-]
exactly , so don't try and say that this passage is being taken to literally.
#119 to #113 - bigrog (12/27/2012) [-]
It wasn't. Jesus tended and the prophets tended to speak in metaphors. There is a section that says How can you remove a splinter from a mans eye when you have a board in yours. Something tells me he wasnt warning people about making sure there arent random boards in your eye
User avatar #190 to #112 - kirkbot (12/27/2012) [-]
their*
User avatar #103 to #98 - memeinmycoffee (12/27/2012) [-]
You can be an atheist and know that.

It's just fun to watch Christians get butthurt when we poke fun at the inconsistencies in their tome of choice. Think of it as making fun of people who believe in alien abductions and crop circles.
#105 to #103 - bigrog (12/27/2012) [-]
thats why i said, only the jackasses. And I'll admit i hate these post, but not because i am offended on behalf of my religion, I hate these for two reasons. They aren't really that funny and their only purpose is to start another unnecessary **** storm. Second, and most important is that it feeds this culture "hey, lets treat people like **** because they aren't the exact same as us."
User avatar #131 to #105 - memeinmycoffee (12/27/2012) [-]
Whoa, I never said make fun of people. There's no harm in making fun of concepts.
#135 to #131 - bigrog (12/27/2012) [-]
I see where you're coming from but i guess we'll have to disagree on this one. I think if someone holds that concept very dear and sacred and fun of that concept or ideal and it hurts that person because of how they hold that belief or concept than is just as bad as making fun of the person themselves, especially if you're doing to get that type of reaction
User avatar #174 to #135 - memeinmycoffee (12/27/2012) [-]
I understand that, and that's a totally reasonable way to conduct yourself if you'd rather not offend anybody, which isn't a bad thing.

Personally, I don't think blind faith and irrational belief is a good thing for any reason, even if it helps someone get over something I think it's better to face reality, even if reality sucks.
#176 to #174 - bigrog (12/27/2012) [-]
For alot of us its not blind faith. Alot of us have reasons to believe. I was athiest for along time before i became christian.
User avatar #110 to #98 - immortalfear (12/27/2012) [-]
I can agree with that translation. I had a ex who would flirt with other girls and say "damn she's hot" or "I'd tap that"and would wonder why I got pissed off with him and eventually dumped him.
User avatar #109 to #98 - thisotherdude (12/27/2012) [-]
But what if you work at a strip club as like a bartender making very decent pay? I don't think quitting would be the best option.
#121 to #109 - bigrog (12/27/2012) [-]
Don't ask me man, i am no moral authority or expert. Personally i would not work there because of my beliefs. But everyones has different beliefs and for each of those beliefs there are different ways to interpret those beliefs.
User avatar #122 to #121 - thisotherdude (12/27/2012) [-]
Some one with respect towards someone else religions and non-religions?... That's rare now-a-days, you're alright by my books friend.
#125 to #122 - bigrog (12/27/2012) [-]
Thanks bro. Belief i hold sacred is if you you go around disrespecting other beliefs, spewing hate, and force you're beliefs down their throats you have no right to complain when another group tries to do the same to you
User avatar #189 to #125 - kirkbot (12/27/2012) [-]
your*
User avatar #134 to #125 - cheesewithmold (12/27/2012) [-]
Why can't we have more people like you?
User avatar #147 to #98 - mausbaus (12/27/2012) [-]
Refer to my comment #142 and get back to me.
#152 to #147 - bigrog (12/27/2012) [-]
you bring up a point, but thats the point. There is a verse in the bible that says we will never truly understand it. Thats why there over hundreds of different churches each with there own beliefs.
User avatar #188 to #152 - kirkbot (12/27/2012) [-]
their*
#159 - snakefire (12/27/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #157 - sniffalot (12/27/2012) [-]
Let me try to explain.
>People were not very developed back then.
>You're not going to discuss philosophy to cave men, right?
>The bible uses metaphors so that people then could understand.
>The bible is mostly not literal.
>He did not mean cut of your hand, he did not mean pluck out your eyes.
>If you want my opinion it means to repent for your sins.
#168 to #157 - doxkid (12/27/2012) [-]
That interpretation works until idiots get ahold of religions.

Unfortunately, 85% of every population is idiots.
#78 - anon (12/27/2012) [-]
I hate how Christians like to pick and mix what they want to. One minute you support slavery, start wars and condemn gays. But then you preach love and tolerance. You can't have both

#91 to #78 - anon (12/27/2012) [-]
That's like saying all atheists start religion debates all the time. There are some that do, and some that don't. No one said you have to meet certain qualifications to be able to call yourself a Christian.
+1
#94 to #91 - gritsreborn **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #136 to #94 - crawlerz (12/27/2012) [-]
true, but mostly just the ability to speak the words "I am a Christian"
of course, there's a huge line between calling yourself one, and acting like one.
I'm pretty sure thats what you were getting at.
User avatar #149 - gramernazi (12/27/2012) [-]
That must mean Atheists are right!
but seriously no need to start religious wars over a figure of speech
#102 - anon (12/27/2012) [-]
The bible, where you can take some parts literally and the ****** up parts as metaphors.
User avatar #25 - swimmingprodigy (12/26/2012) [-]
Is it wrong that I can tell who that is just off the tits and bikini?



Denise Milani.

Go forth and fap.
User avatar #32 to #25 - swampert (12/26/2012) [-]
nah I could tell too. Always worth my time
#3 - cumsinbucket (12/26/2012) [-]
Does this has something to do with going overboard and taking bible verses to literal or am I just reading into it too much?
#17 to #3 - anon (12/26/2012) [-]
"Follow the 10 commandments"

"Don't do other barbaric **** the bible tells you to do."
User avatar #138 - icanpaintyay (12/27/2012) [-]
the bible is using a figure of speach.
User avatar #139 to #138 - cullenatorguy (12/27/2012) [-]
How is this figurative?
User avatar #146 to #139 - addictakilla (12/27/2012) [-]
basically, you might as well pluck out your eye, because if your eyes are lustful, you're prone to do it again, and thus should pluck out your eye. It's metaphorical, saying that if you were really abstaining from adultery you wouldnt be lustful, but since you are lustful, you fail to abstain, and should face dire consequences.
User avatar #163 to #146 - cullenatorguy (12/27/2012) [-]
And why is this not to be taken literally? He didn't say, "You might as well..." I would think Jesus would have the foresight to think, "Hey, in a couple thousand years, people might be taking my literal commands as metaphors because times would have changed and people wouldn't be doing things like pulling their eyes out." I'm sure it's very, very literal. Look at the time period this was written in, or by the people who wrote it. You don't think there isn't bias in the Bible? Why should I trust such a book?
#162 to #146 - mauhdzlpd (12/27/2012) [-]
**** , its just to repent to the sins, and TRY your most to not do it again
User avatar #142 to #138 - mausbaus (12/27/2012) [-]
Answer me this. If something as straightforward as this is 'a figure of speech,' then how can we take anything in the Bible literally? Who are we to decide what the writers wanted to be metaphorical or literal?
#156 to #142 - stickandmove (12/27/2012) [-]
Thank you, I'm not sure why you were thumbed down.

This is a metaphor but Jesus curing the blind is an irrefutable fact? ALRIGHTY THEN.
User avatar #153 to #142 - icanpaintyay (12/27/2012) [-]
i took bible studdy. some **** is just written poetically. i dont think god really wants us to gash owr eyes out. just regret what we have done insted. enything can have simbolic meaning, right?
User avatar #170 to #153 - nosauceforyou (12/27/2012) [-]
Also; you don't sound very smart when you can't spell words like "speech", "study", "our", "instead", "anything", or "symbolic".
#169 to #153 - nosauceforyou (12/27/2012) [-]
Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.”   
   
Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.” - Genesis 19:4-8   
   
Great poetry. To mirror what mausbaus said, who is there to differentiate what is literal and what is figurative?
Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.”

Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.” - Genesis 19:4-8

Great poetry. To mirror what mausbaus said, who is there to differentiate what is literal and what is figurative?
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