Ask Dr Ozzy. . donut him on - was stolen - from my landlord. New Inge stupidly told my landlord 'ttf" errthing, and I' m worried my new?‘ bor' s going to kill m
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Ask Dr Ozzy

donut him on -
was stolen - from my landlord. New
Inge stupidly told my landlord 'ttf"
errthing, and I' m worried my new?‘
bor' s going to kill me for being a
snitch. What the **** do I do'?
Jeff, New Jersey
ANSWER: This one' s easy. Lift up your
right leg and put it in front of your
left leg. Then lift up your left leg and
1 put it in front of your right leg. Re-
l 1 peat as fast as you ******* can, until
you' re very far away. Then use the
dough you saved on the cheap weed 1
for plastic surgery. Good luck. V
M QUESTION: My friend takes a **** In
the ocean whenever we go surfing,
even though he knows I find It dis-
gusting. How can I get him to stop?
Megan, California
ANSWER'.' Let' s face it, we' all
1 dropped a sea biscuit. But it' s usually
an emergency situation. if your mate' s
l doing it every time you get in the
water. he' s obviously winding you up
l So wait until a day when you' had a
H heavy, boozy lunch, swim out in front
of him, then open your torpedo hatch
and fire away, with any luck, he' ll get
right in the chops. If that
doesn' t teach him, nothing will,
f L QUESTION: Pm a virgin
l I and have what appears to be acne
on my penis. For the love of God,
I please tell me this is normal.
I] -Corey, Ohio
ANSWER: I was trying to eat when
I read this question, and new I' m
thinking about teenage mutant
fullfilled dick pimples, so thanks
very ******* much for sharing. Yes,
acne on your overarmed bandit is nor-
mal at your age (your dick' s covered
in skin, in case you hadn' t no-
diced). And yes, it' ll get better.
If it doesn' t, go to a doctor who
ain' t called Ozzy.
...
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Comments(88):

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#15 - holyfuckawalrus (12/26/2012) [-]
Teenage mutant pus-filled dick pimples
i expected to read turtles at that point
#18 - felixjarl ONLINE (12/26/2012) [-]
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Wouldn't you have that. I had acne problems before, now i know why.


Thanks Dr Ozzy
#9 - thechosentroll (12/26/2012) [-]
This image has expired
The sea biscuit part made me laugh so hard I cried a little.
#19 - imaschizo (12/26/2012) [-]
****** love the Oz
#45 - joyguy (12/26/2012) [-]
> sea biscuit   
   
>torpedo hatch   
   
>						************
> sea biscuit

>torpedo hatch

> ************
#16 - amaezin (12/26/2012) [-]
Oh man i haven't laughd on FJ like that in a while
Oh man i haven't laughd on FJ like that in a while
#32 - vegetatheprince (12/26/2012) [-]
I like this advice. It's crude, but effective.
#2 - reapersgrave ONLINE (12/26/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#8 - envinite (12/26/2012) [-]
?your dick's covered in skin, in case you hadn't noticed"

#64 - pussyjuice (12/26/2012) [+] (5 replies)
Guys thanks for all the thumbs and laughs i have birthday today and this was nice gift from all of you thank you again!
User avatar #25 - lucidria (12/26/2012) [+] (10 replies)
Dick problem stories:

I once had a huge pimple on the bottom of my dick. The only way I could pop it was to wait a couple weeks for it to get bigger, then stab at it with a needle until it popped so I could squeeze it out. You know how you get little clumps of pus in pimples that leave behind a little empty pod sort of thing? It just left a big pit where the clump used to be. After I got it out, I had to gently wrap a bandage around my dick for a day to let the pit fill itself in and heal enough to take it off. I couldn't jack off for about 4 days before and after I "operated" on it.

I've also got a small lump on the top/side of my dick that's mostly only noticeable when I got a boner. It's just a little lump under the skin that I can jiggle around, but it doesn't move. It's been there for about 2 years now and it doesn't seem to have gotten bigger or anything and I have no idea what the **** it could be.
User avatar #36 to #25 - cshp (12/26/2012) [-]
You have dick cancer.
#70 - Zaivia (12/26/2012) [+] (2 replies)
MFW Teenage mutant pus-filled dick pimples
#60 - churrundo (12/26/2012) [-]
"sea-biscuit"
"sea-biscuit"
#68 - haunterbrony (12/26/2012) [-]
Ozzy is a ******* legend. Especially the last one got me.
#49 - julpiter (12/26/2012) [-]
this is the funniest thing on the frontpage today

this is the funniest thing on the frontpage today
+8
#71 - PopcornOps **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#23 - parrotey (12/26/2012) [-]
How to deal with your bat problem
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