True Story. . The three days rule is insane) Who even came up with that? Jesus! Seriously, he started it! Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life. It was p
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True Story

The three days rule is insane)
Who even came up with that?
Jesus!
Seriously, he started it!
Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life.
It was perfect!
If he had only waited ONE day, a lot of people
wouldn' t have even heard he" died.
They would be like:
Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably
be like, "What up? I DIED yesterday!"
And they' d be all like, "Uhh, you look pretty
alive to me, dude..."
And then Jesus would have to explain how he was
resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude' d
be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..
And he' s not gonna come back on a
SATURDAY!
Everybody' s busy, doing chores,
workin' the loom, trimmin' the beard
He waited the perfect number of days,
THREE)
Plus it' s SUNDAY, so everyone' s in church already,
and they' re all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is DEAD"
And then BAM! He bursts in the back door,
runnin' up the aisle, everyone' s totally psyched
And FYI, that' s when he invented the high five!
That' s why we wait three days to call a woman,
because that' s how long Jesus wants us to
True story
...
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Views: 45766
Favorited: 152
Submitted: 12/22/2012
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Comments(101):

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#113 - iclarinet (12/23/2012) [-]
hey thanks for that recap at the end there, OP.
#109 - slashtrey ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
User avatar #88 - sanosauro (12/23/2012) [-]
The awkward moment when I'm watching this scene just as I load this picture...thumb to you OP!
#75 - creosote (12/23/2012) [-]
Jews go to church on Saturday, not Sunday. He would have been dancing down empty isles.
User avatar #78 to #75 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
Friday night*

And it is a Synagogue, church applies to Christians.
#85 to #78 - creosote (12/23/2012) [-]
You know what, fine, I apologize for my slight slip up by saying church instead of synagogue, but to be fair, in these days, many congregations meet in churches on Saturdays while it isn't in use by Christians on Sunday. Of course, there were no such thing as churches back then, and yes, Sabbath does start Friday night, but people typically attend their congregations on Saturdays (although it would make since for them to have met up on Friday nights in the olden days... I guess).
You know what, fine, I apologize for my slight slip up by saying church instead of synagogue, but to be fair, in these days, many congregations meet in churches on Saturdays while it isn't in use by Christians on Sunday. Of course, there were no such thing as churches back then, and yes, Sabbath does start Friday night, but people typically attend their congregations on Saturdays (although it would make since for them to have met up on Friday nights in the olden days... I guess).
User avatar #87 to #85 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
Hey, sorry, I tried to educate people.
Sorry that you took offense, but still, the only denomination to use a "church" is Christian.
Sure, other people can meet there, but they are not meeting in a church, they are meeting in a building that has church in it's name.
Jews will not meet in a Church to worship, they will meet in a synagogue, or someone's home.
Muslims will never meet in a Church to worship, they will meet in a Mosque, or in someone's home.
Sikhs will never meet in a Church to worship, they will again meet in a Mosque/temple, or in someone's home.
User avatar #96 to #87 - creosote (12/23/2012) [-]
For one, I didn't take a offence, two, I'm Jewish and we meet in a church, so...
User avatar #103 to #96 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
You may call it a church, it might be referred to as a church, it might even have church in the title.
But during the time you are worshiping there, it is a synagogue.
Just like a community centre may be referred to as a community centre, called the Sheffield Community Centre, but it is a church if there is a christian worship service going on.
#107 to #103 - creosote (12/23/2012) [-]
I yield! I YIELD!   
I see your point now. I just misunderstood what you were saying. Point well taken.
I yield! I YIELD!
I see your point now. I just misunderstood what you were saying. Point well taken.
#110 to #107 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
Such is the life of the Crusader
Beat someone into submission until they scream stop

Just kidding, I just hate it when people use the wrong terms
#94 to #87 - anonymous (12/23/2012) [-]
A Church just means a place of worship, and if you were so sorry, you'd drop it and move on.
User avatar #95 to #94 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
Church - Noun
A place of worship for the Christian Faith
the whole body of Christian believers
any division of this body professing the same creed and acknowledging the same ecclesiastical authority; a Christian denomination
that part of the whole Christian body, or of a particular denomination, belonging to the same city, country, nation, etc.

Taken from the dictionary.
All showing that Church refers only to Christianity.
I am sorry he took offense, but I will do what I can to remove ignorance.
User avatar #98 to #95 - creosote (12/23/2012) [-]
I know perfectly well that a church is only a place of worship for Christians, hence: Of course, there were no such thing as churches back then.
User avatar #101 to #98 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
Good point, but they wouldn't have been worshiping in a synagogue, they most likely would have been praying in one of their homes, or out doing stuff sine it wasn't the sabbath.
#69 - anonymous (12/23/2012) [-]
Why does all of funnyjunk suck Neil Patrick Harris' cock? He's ******* lame.

Get butthurt ******* .

inb4 STFUU ANON UR GHEY
User avatar #79 to #69 - skinless (12/23/2012) [-]
STFUU ANON UR GHEY LOL
User avatar #68 - Kraid (12/23/2012) [-]
The 3-day rule. Preventing Bro-flation since.... forever.
#65 - anonymous (12/23/2012) [-]
What a ******* coincidence. A ****** believes in god. Don't you know that god hates you, ****** ? **** NPH!
User avatar #82 to #65 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
God doesn't hate gays.
I will state this showing the good christian perspective, though I, myself, am not a Christian.
God loves all his children.
What he hates is to see us make poor choices, it is the "love the sinner, hate the sin" perspective. Therefore, he does not hate NPH, not gays, but does hate homosexuality.
User avatar #92 to #82 - NolanNasty (12/23/2012) [-]
no
User avatar #93 to #92 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
Yes
User avatar #97 to #93 - NolanNasty (12/23/2012) [-]
no
User avatar #100 to #97 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
YES
User avatar #104 to #102 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
YES
User avatar #106 to #105 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
WHY THE **** "NO"?
User avatar #108 to #106 - NolanNasty (12/23/2012) [-]
because no
#99 to #97 - anonymcfuckmilk (12/23/2012) [-]
You heard him ****** . YES!!!
#71 to #65 - notandytags (12/23/2012) [-]
2/10 try harder
2/10 try harder
#81 to #71 - anonymcfuckmilk (12/23/2012) [-]
Suck my cock, bitchtits! I did ******* great and i am alpah! you fcuking know it, ****** . suck my cock!!!!!
#111 to #81 - raigen (12/23/2012) [-]
....Can someone help me retreive the brain cells I lost reading that?
....Can someone help me retreive the brain cells I lost reading that?
#61 - anonymous (12/23/2012) [-]
ah Mr Patrick Harris one of the greatest men alive, he's a womanizer and gay a theatre geek yet not a diva ah yes a truely great man :D


and he's funny! :D
User avatar #62 to #61 - carlitosyo (12/23/2012) [-]
why does the word get highlighted like that?
i left for a while then returned, and thats new.
help?
User avatar #66 to #62 - landartheconqueror (12/23/2012) [-]
that's a channel. like troll, brony, dildos, etc...
User avatar #73 to #66 - carlitosyo (12/23/2012) [-]
oH! Interesting so youre basically tagging the channel? cool thanks!

User avatar #67 to #66 - landartheconqueror (12/23/2012) [-]
did they get rid of the dildo channel?
User avatar #76 to #67 - carlitosyo (12/23/2012) [-]
no its still there
#58 - anonymous (12/23/2012) [-]
How people even watch this unfunny **** .
#55 - allinall (12/23/2012) [-]
Fun Fact: The Muslims have come up with a scientific, legitmate reason for Jesus' "Ressurection". This is the reason they don't believe Jesus is the son of God. They believe that he was only unconcious or in a coma, because of all the blood loss, and the lack of blood would give him a lack of pulse, therefore making Jesus appear dead to anyone without proper modern medical training. just so you know......
User avatar #84 to #55 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
That's still 3 days he is expected to recover without food or water, and then he manages to move the stone covering his tomb and basically give a church sermon before rising into heaven.

While I do agree with the theory, they are kind of shutting out a large portion of what is written.
It's like me saying, Muhammad wasn't speaking with god when he wrote the Qu'ran, he was a schizophrenic hearing voices and a lot of people believed what he wrote.
#60 to #55 - nationalinsecurity (12/23/2012) [-]
Also, the Qur'an says the Romans/Jews killed his most similar scholar instead of Jesus.
TheMoreYouKnow
User avatar #59 to #55 - comeherekids (12/23/2012) [-]
Don't blow us all up and you can stay...
User avatar #53 - realfunnybro (12/23/2012) [-]
**realfunnybro rolled user legendaryicarus ** take advise
User avatar #51 - cheesezhenshi (12/23/2012) [-]
Almost all of these comments are stuffed with red thumbs. I'm scared to post this.. Be gentle with me.
#50 - anonymous (12/23/2012) [-]
Glad OP was capable of making such awe inspiring OC. I laughed when I watched the show, not when I saw your thumbwhore content.
0
#48 - pinkiepiethecunt has deleted their comment [-]
#44 - quinnthecreator (12/23/2012) [-]
Well three IS the magic number.
#80 to #44 - chelm (12/23/2012) [-]
You have a good taste in music my friend
User avatar #47 to #44 - pinkiepiethecunt (12/23/2012) [-]
they change a bit
User avatar #49 to #47 - pinkiepiethecunt (12/23/2012) [-]
changed*
User avatar #16 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
Friday + 3 days = Sunday?
Seems legit

Also, Jews at that time did not trim their beards
User avatar #70 to #16 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
WHOA WHOA WHOA
I was just pointing something out, sorry that me pointing out a flaw is taken so harshly
User avatar #37 to #16 - jesusthegardener (12/23/2012) [-]
Friday 1
Saturday 2
Sunday 3

You ******* idiot.
User avatar #72 to #37 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
Actually, in most versions of the bible, he dies on friday, therefore saturday would be the first day, sunday would be the second.
Though I see your point, there is no need to be a dick about it.
User avatar #33 to #16 - cumsinbucket (12/23/2012) [-]
Would you like a bucket for the burn you just received from these nice people?
#27 to #16 - babyweewee (12/23/2012) [-]
Another one that was left behind I see
Another one that was left behind I see
#19 to #16 - kingkaga (12/23/2012) [-]
Friday=1
Saturday=1
Sunday=1
add them all together and you get 3
#23 to #19 - adamks (12/23/2012) [-]
But he died friday, not thursday.

Making:
Saturday = 1
Sunday = 2
Monday = 3
User avatar #29 to #23 - baconmansenior (12/23/2012) [-]
dies friday-1
saturday-2
sunday-3
friday counts as 1 because he was dead
#115 to #29 - adamks (12/23/2012) [-]
But its called "Good friday" and translates in some languages to "long" friday, thereby implying that he had a long day as he hang on the cross in great pain.
User avatar #89 to #29 - Crusader ONLINE (12/23/2012) [-]
The time of day is not specified, so it can be argued.
User avatar #18 to #16 - EpicXInfected (12/23/2012) [-]
including friday
User avatar #15 - arrisarrad (12/23/2012) [-]
Everytime I watch this episode, I'm always struck by the whole, Jews worship on Saturday, not Sunday thing.
User avatar #42 to #15 - kolzagee (12/23/2012) [-]
and Muslims worship on Fridays
User avatar #56 to #42 - nationalinsecurity (12/23/2012) [-]
*muslims worship every day, Friday is only more important because the Jummah (hope I spelled it right) prayer is done on Friday, and it's the most important prayer for the men. Women don't have to pray Jummah, but are obliged to pray Zuhr (midday) in return.
+3
#22 to #15 - txsslg **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #31 to #22 - nogphille (12/23/2012) [-]
don't know who thumbed you down, you're right..

Monday (i/ˈmʌndeɪ/ or /ˈmʌndi/) is the day of the week between Sunday and Tuesday. According to the Christian, Islamic and Hebrew calendars, it is the second day of the week. But according to international standard ISO 8601 it is the first day of the week. The name of Monday is derived from Old English Mōnandæg and Middle English Monenday, which means "moon day".

it's more obvious in portuguese, SEGUNDA-feira (monday)...
same is true for months, we adapted them in another order.. which is why SEPTember is the 11th month and not the seventh.. (OCTober, NOVember,...)
User avatar #34 to #31 - nogphille (12/23/2012) [-]
*9th month, sorry, i'm tired..
#21 to #15 - anonymous (12/23/2012) [-]
I was gonna say that. Plus on saturday they wouldn't be busy because it was like a law that you had to work as little as possible on the Lord's day.
User avatar #12 - jibb (12/22/2012) [-]
Achievment unlocked! Reposted a guy who captioned a TV-show!
User avatar #8 - sirgoat (12/22/2012) [-]
#7 - anonymous (12/22/2012) [-]
****** show is ****** .

Get buttmad.
-2
#24 to #7 - txsslg **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #38 to #20 - xxxdemongirl (12/23/2012) [-]
Oh god, Borderlands 2. i ******* love that game
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