True Story. . The three days rule is insane) Who even came up with that? Jesus! Seriously, he started it! Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life. It was p True story HIMYM barney NPH
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The three days rule is insane)
Who even came up with that?
Jesus!
Seriously, he started it!
Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life.
It was perfect!
If he had only waited ONE day, a lot of people
wouldn' t have even heard he" died.
They would be like:
Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably
be like, "What up? I DIED yesterday!"
And they' d be all like, "Uhh, you look pretty
alive to me, dude..."
And then Jesus would have to explain how he was
resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude' d
be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..
And he' s not gonna come back on a
SATURDAY!
Everybody' s busy, doing chores,
workin' the loom, trimmin' the beard
He waited the perfect number of days,
THREE)
Plus it' s SUNDAY, so everyone' s in church already,
and they' re all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is DEAD"
And then BAM! He bursts in the back door,
runnin' up the aisle, everyone' s totally psyched
And FYI, that' s when he invented the high five!
That' s why we wait three days to call a woman,
because that' s how long Jesus wants us to
True story
...
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Views: 46068 Submitted: 12/22/2012
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asd
User avatar #1 - jizzonmypants
Reply +75 123456789123345869
(12/22/2012) [-]
Am I the only one that call the other person whenever I ******* want to?
User avatar #11 to #1 - thirdasscheek
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/22/2012) [-]
if it goes well enough why the **** not? if it's like you only get the number and don't have a long conversation that's when you wait 2-3 days and get some coffee.
User avatar #26 to #1 - jibb
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
"Am I the only one"

...

2012.
User avatar #10 to #1 - orangejulep
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(12/22/2012) [-]
Don't expect a lot of people to agree with you, most people on this site don't get the number in the first place.
#17 to #10 - silverlance
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
yes, do tell of how you know each of us personally
#57 to #17 - anon id: e412e52b
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
"most people" calm down bro
User avatar #16 - Crusader
Reply -58 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Friday + 3 days = Sunday?
Seems legit

Also, Jews at that time did not trim their beards
User avatar #33 to #16 - cumsinbucket
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Would you like a bucket for the burn you just received from these nice people?
User avatar #70 to #16 - Crusader
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
WHOA WHOA WHOA
I was just pointing something out, sorry that me pointing out a flaw is taken so harshly
User avatar #18 to #16 - EpicXInfected
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
including friday
#27 to #16 - babyweewee
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Another one that was left behind I see
Another one that was left behind I see
User avatar #37 to #16 - jesusthegardener
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Friday 1
Saturday 2
Sunday 3

You ******* idiot.
User avatar #72 to #37 - Crusader
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Actually, in most versions of the bible, he dies on friday, therefore saturday would be the first day, sunday would be the second.
Though I see your point, there is no need to be a dick about it.
#19 to #16 - kingkaga
Reply +55 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Friday=1
Saturday=1
Sunday=1
add them all together and you get 3
#23 to #19 - adamks
Reply -18 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
But he died friday, not thursday.

Making:
Saturday = 1
Sunday = 2
Monday = 3
User avatar #29 to #23 - baconmansenior
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
dies friday-1
saturday-2
sunday-3
friday counts as 1 because he was dead
#115 to #29 - adamks
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
But its called "Good friday" and translates in some languages to "long" friday, thereby implying that he had a long day as he hang on the cross in great pain.
User avatar #89 to #29 - Crusader
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
The time of day is not specified, so it can be argued.
#75 - creosote
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Jews go to church on Saturday, not Sunday. He would have been dancing down empty isles.
User avatar #78 to #75 - Crusader
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Friday night*

And it is a Synagogue, church applies to Christians.
#85 to #78 - creosote
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
You know what, fine, I apologize for my slight slip up by saying church instead of synagogue, but to be fair, in these days, many congregations meet in churches on Saturdays while it isn't in use by Christians on Sunday. Of course, there were no such thing as churches back then, and yes, Sabbath does start Friday night, but people typically attend their congregations on Saturdays (although it would make since for them to have met up on Friday nights in the olden days... I guess).
You know what, fine, I apologize for my slight slip up by saying church instead of synagogue, but to be fair, in these days, many congregations meet in churches on Saturdays while it isn't in use by Christians on Sunday. Of course, there were no such thing as churches back then, and yes, Sabbath does start Friday night, but people typically attend their congregations on Saturdays (although it would make since for them to have met up on Friday nights in the olden days... I guess).
User avatar #87 to #85 - Crusader
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Hey, sorry, I tried to educate people.
Sorry that you took offense, but still, the only denomination to use a "church" is Christian.
Sure, other people can meet there, but they are not meeting in a church, they are meeting in a building that has church in it's name.
Jews will not meet in a Church to worship, they will meet in a synagogue, or someone's home.
Muslims will never meet in a Church to worship, they will meet in a Mosque, or in someone's home.
Sikhs will never meet in a Church to worship, they will again meet in a Mosque/temple, or in someone's home.
User avatar #96 to #87 - creosote
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
For one, I didn't take a offence, two, I'm Jewish and we meet in a church, so...
User avatar #103 to #96 - Crusader
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
You may call it a church, it might be referred to as a church, it might even have church in the title.
But during the time you are worshiping there, it is a synagogue.
Just like a community centre may be referred to as a community centre, called the Sheffield Community Centre, but it is a church if there is a christian worship service going on.
#107 to #103 - creosote
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
I yield! I YIELD!   
I see your point now. I just misunderstood what you were saying. Point well taken.
I yield! I YIELD!
I see your point now. I just misunderstood what you were saying. Point well taken.
#110 to #107 - Crusader
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Such is the life of the Crusader
Beat someone into submission until they scream stop

Just kidding, I just hate it when people use the wrong terms
#94 to #87 - anon id: a77d9dac
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
A Church just means a place of worship, and if you were so sorry, you'd drop it and move on.
User avatar #95 to #94 - Crusader
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Church - Noun
A place of worship for the Christian Faith
the whole body of Christian believers
any division of this body professing the same creed and acknowledging the same ecclesiastical authority; a Christian denomination
that part of the whole Christian body, or of a particular denomination, belonging to the same city, country, nation, etc.

Taken from the dictionary.
All showing that Church refers only to Christianity.
I am sorry he took offense, but I will do what I can to remove ignorance.
User avatar #98 to #95 - creosote
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
I know perfectly well that a church is only a place of worship for Christians, hence: Of course, there were no such thing as churches back then.
User avatar #101 to #98 - Crusader
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Good point, but they wouldn't have been worshiping in a synagogue, they most likely would have been praying in one of their homes, or out doing stuff sine it wasn't the sabbath.
#7 - anon id: d42fc074
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/22/2012) [-]
****** show is ******.

Get buttmad.
#24 to #7 - txsslg **User deleted account**
-2 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#36 to #7 - xxxdemongirl
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#20 to #7 - halofiratwin
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#74 to #20 - oapsyches
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
User avatar #38 to #20 - xxxdemongirl
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Oh god, Borderlands 2. i ******* love that game
#14 to #7 - alawabidingcitizen
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
#55 - allinall
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Fun Fact: The Muslims have come up with a scientific, legitmate reason for Jesus' "Ressurection". This is the reason they don't believe Jesus is the son of God. They believe that he was only unconcious or in a coma, because of all the blood loss, and the lack of blood would give him a lack of pulse, therefore making Jesus appear dead to anyone without proper modern medical training. just so you know......
User avatar #59 to #55 - comeherekids
Reply -5 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Don't blow us all up and you can stay...
#114 to #59 - coolcalx
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
#60 to #55 - nationalinsecurity
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Also, the Qur'an says the Romans/Jews killed his most similar scholar instead of Jesus.
TheMoreYouKnow
User avatar #84 to #55 - Crusader
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
That's still 3 days he is expected to recover without food or water, and then he manages to move the stone covering his tomb and basically give a church sermon before rising into heaven.

While I do agree with the theory, they are kind of shutting out a large portion of what is written.
It's like me saying, Muhammad wasn't speaking with god when he wrote the Qu'ran, he was a schizophrenic hearing voices and a lot of people believed what he wrote.
User avatar #12 - jibb
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/22/2012) [-]
Achievment unlocked! Reposted a guy who captioned a TV-show!
#13 to #12 - buhl
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/22/2012) [-]
#28 to #13 - arcanemonkey
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
#44 - quinnthecreator
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Well three IS the magic number.
User avatar #47 to #44 - pinkiepiethecunt
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
they change a bit
User avatar #49 to #47 - pinkiepiethecunt
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
changed*
#80 to #44 - chelm
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
You have a good taste in music my friend
#69 - anon id: 4fc85f7a
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Why does all of funnyjunk suck Neil Patrick Harris' cock? He's ******* lame.

Get butthurt faggots.

inb4 STFUU ANON UR GHEY
User avatar #79 to #69 - skinless
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
STFUU ANON UR GHEY LOL
#65 - anon id: ed4374a1
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
What a ******* coincidence. A faggot believes in god. Don't you know that god hates you, faggot? **** NPH!
User avatar #82 to #65 - Crusader
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
God doesn't hate gays.
I will state this showing the good christian perspective, though I, myself, am not a Christian.
God loves all his children.
What he hates is to see us make poor choices, it is the "love the sinner, hate the sin" perspective. Therefore, he does not hate NPH, not gays, but does hate homosexuality.
User avatar #92 to #82 - NolanNasty
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
no
User avatar #93 to #92 - Crusader
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Yes
User avatar #97 to #93 - NolanNasty
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
no
User avatar #100 to #97 - Crusader
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
YES
User avatar #102 to #100 - NolanNasty
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
no
User avatar #104 to #102 - Crusader
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
YES
User avatar #105 to #104 - NolanNasty
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
no
User avatar #106 to #105 - Crusader
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
WHY THE **** "NO"?
User avatar #108 to #106 - NolanNasty
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
because no
#99 to #97 - anonymcfuckmilk
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
You heard him faggot. YES!!!
#71 to #65 - notandytags
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
2/10 try harder
2/10 try harder
#81 to #71 - anonymcfuckmilk
Reply -3 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Suck my cock, bitchtits! I did ******* great and i am alpah! you fcuking know it, ******. suck my cock!!!!!
#83 to #81 - notandytags
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
what
#111 to #81 - raigen
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
....Can someone help me retreive the brain cells I lost reading that?
....Can someone help me retreive the brain cells I lost reading that?
User avatar #15 - arrisarrad
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
Everytime I watch this episode, I'm always struck by the whole, Jews worship on Saturday, not Sunday thing.
#21 to #15 - anon id: 013e3b2d
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
I was gonna say that. Plus on saturday they wouldn't be busy because it was like a law that you had to work as little as possible on the Lord's day.
User avatar #42 to #15 - kolzagee
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
and Muslims worship on Fridays
User avatar #56 to #42 - nationalinsecurity
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
*muslims worship every day, Friday is only more important because the Jummah (hope I spelled it right) prayer is done on Friday, and it's the most important prayer for the men. Women don't have to pray Jummah, but are obliged to pray Zuhr (midday) in return.
#22 to #15 - txsslg **User deleted account**
+3 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #31 to #22 - nogphille
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
don't know who thumbed you down, you're right..

Monday (i/ˈmʌndeɪ/ or /ˈmʌndi/) is the day of the week between Sunday and Tuesday. According to the Christian, Islamic and Hebrew calendars, it is the second day of the week. But according to international standard ISO 8601 it is the first day of the week. The name of Monday is derived from Old English Mōnandæg and Middle English Monenday, which means "moon day".

it's more obvious in portuguese, SEGUNDA-feira (monday)...
same is true for months, we adapted them in another order.. which is why SEPTember is the 11th month and not the seventh.. (OCTober, NOVember,...)
User avatar #34 to #31 - nogphille
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/23/2012) [-]
*9th month, sorry, i'm tired..