If i was the devil. . If I was The Devil I would manifest myself inside of a virgin, say that I am the Son of God and convince everyone that they can now be for HEHE
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If i was the devil

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If I was The Devil I would manifest myself
inside of a virgin, say that I am the Son of God
and convince everyone that they can now be
forgiven for every sin Just by asking, thus
opening the floodgates for an unprecedented
and unending torrent of sin.
I would start with the uneducated and the poor.
I would impress them with some magic tricks,
teach them to pretend to eat my flesh, drink my
blood and always, ALWAYS, use MY name
when speaking to God.
I would most assuredly use my immortality
to fool them into thinking I came back from
the dead as proof of my divinity.
What better way is there to channel more
souls away from God and straight into Hell?
LANCE SIEVE'S
...
+1284
Views: 51015 Submitted: 12/19/2012
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[ 201 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #18 - waaw
Reply +103 123456789123345869
(12/19/2012) [-]
Actually, the devil's greatest trick was that one with the three cups and the little red ball.
#50 to #18 - anon id: b5e6923c
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Dont explain. Its genius and you made my day.
User avatar #45 to #18 - thorrkento
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Explain please?
#157 - captainwow
Reply +31 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Ya know, I never see anybody bashing other religions on here. I never see people picking apart why Islam is a load of ****, or why Judaism is made up fairy tales.

These aren't "anit-reliigon" posts, these are "Christianity vs. the World" posts.
#168 to #157 - angelpink
Reply -12 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
I've also never seen an Arabian or a Hebrew on here shoving their religion into other peoples faces...   
   
<--- Only religious gif in my fj folder
I've also never seen an Arabian or a Hebrew on here shoving their religion into other peoples faces...

<--- Only religious gif in my fj folder
User avatar #173 to #168 - africanking
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
I've not seen a Christian on here either, just a bunch of Atheists who shove their non-religion down everyone's throats
#178 to #173 - angelpink
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Ah, fine, you win, I don't very much pay attention to religious comments to begin with. So I wouldn't know either way.    
   
...oh sure now my religious gif is relevant and I've already used it..   
   
I actually didn't mean to be rude, I mean yes, maybe I should have said world? instead of on here? But I literally have never had a Arabian or Hebrew come to my door to try and convince be to go to their &quot;place of worship&quot; But I've had plenty of Christians. But seriously,
Ah, fine, you win, I don't very much pay attention to religious comments to begin with. So I wouldn't know either way.

...oh sure now my religious gif is relevant and I've already used it..

I actually didn't mean to be rude, I mean yes, maybe I should have said world? instead of on here? But I literally have never had a Arabian or Hebrew come to my door to try and convince be to go to their "place of worship" But I've had plenty of Christians. But seriously,
#209 to #178 - bigrog
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
thats because christians are the majority. Ive had a muslim try to convert me. most religous people, no matter what the religion try to convert people. It's because to those who do have religion, it is something very important to them which usually brings them happiness and they want to share that with the world. I try to convert my friends all the time. I dont shove in down their throats or anything, i just invite them to church every now and again and when it comes up tell them about the good its done for me. A common misconception is that if you try to convert someon your shoving your beliefs down their throats.
User avatar #159 to #157 - sketchE
Reply -6 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
well seeing as most people who talk about christianity site the old testament. then every christian gos on about how the old testament doesnt apply to them.also christianity is the only one we have people talking about on a regular basis to us. its hard to insult a religion you know nothing about. its very easy for christianity since we are told about it whether we like it or not
#182 to #159 - Vanquix
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
They no barely anything about it except for what they were taught growing up, and they still bash it.
User avatar #228 to #182 - sketchE
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
actually most atheists were christian or some other religion at some point in their life. very few families raise their kids that god doesnt exist. many christians know only what theyve been told by a preacher. my experience is that atheists have a better understanding of what the bible actually says than most christians.
#229 to #228 - Vanquix
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
just because they were "christian" and went to church and what not before they became atheists does not mean in ANY way that they know more than all those kids that get dragged to church. And i know atheists. They usually dont have a better understanding of the bible and stuff. They're usually just really good at SOUNDING like they know anything, like most people who dont know what theyre talking about are.
User avatar #230 to #229 - sketchE
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
usually anyone who is truly atheist, and not just one doing it because its cool, are that way due to being disenfranchised by religion. they look at everything it teaches and sees the members of the religion doing the exact opposite. another cause is they sit down look at everything theyve been taught and just decide it doesnt make sense to them.

this is my case. after my father died the christian ceremonies were in no way respecting the dead. people who never met him talked about how great of a person he was and how he was now sitting with god. his family couldnt even come together for the half hour service and respect the one they lost. this is exactly the opposite of what ive been taught christianity was supposed to be. ive been raised through reasoning and logic. i was not raised in faith. im agnostic because i still hold hope there is something after. but neither science nor religion has convinced me
#234 to #230 - Vanquix
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Youre right about that, but there arent very many atheists like that at all. And that still doesnt change the fact that they only know what that church and those people taught them about religion. And if they actually delved into religion themselves and tried to understand it but couldnt and so turned their backs on it, thats also not fair, because maybe they just cant understand it by themselves and just need a true christian who can communicate the bible comprehensively. If they give up without honestly trying, then they have no right to protest christianity and say that they know what theyre talking about. Also, another reason atheists become atheists isnt because its "cool", its because they dont want to face up to the fact that they might not like who they are. Of course, lousy christians do this to, and tend to try and ignore their faults. And i'll admit that people who label themselves as christians and do this are worse than atheists who do this (in my opinion), but that still doesnt give atheists the right. And then they get after christians for trying to "preach" to them. If they really knew anything about christianity, they would know that it is a christian's duty to spread the Lord's words. Some people do it through direct communication, and others do it through just being a good example of a human being whilst making sure that everyone knows that they are christian. Atheists are ignorant to this for the most part.
User avatar #167 to #159 - asschwitz
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Except it states in the Bible that Jesus told them that the Old Testament applys to them.
User avatar #231 to #167 - sketchE
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
very few will ever listen to that strangely enough
#185 to #157 - anon id: 06366a3a
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
We don't make fun of Islam because we are not narrow minded idiots. Have you even read the Quran? Islam is a religion of peace.
#163 to #157 - zaizer
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
>Implying Funnyjunk never makes fun of Jews and Islamic people
#195 to #163 - pxthreezerothree
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
&gt;Implying calling Jews greedy and Muslims terrorists is the same as attempting to pick apart their belief systems.
>Implying calling Jews greedy and Muslims terrorists is the same as attempting to pick apart their belief systems.
#232 to #195 - zaizer
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Some christians make a lot of Internet posts to promote Christianism and it bothers a lot of people, especifically in the USA (Dominant tribe of the Internet). If there was as many posts to promote Islam in the Internet as there is to promote Christianity, they would be attacked the same way
#237 to #232 - pxthreezerothree
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/21/2012) [-]
That's simply due to numbers and you know that. It's not that certain segments of Christianity are more outspoken than other religion, there are simply more of them to be outspoken.
#57 - muzikmafia
Reply +31 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
#73 to #57 - Loon
-3 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#26 - AnonymousDonor
Reply +29 123456789123345869
(12/19/2012) [-]
yeah. channelling souls into hell by telling them to love one another   
   
makes sense
yeah. channelling souls into hell by telling them to love one another

makes sense
User avatar #40 to #26 - gammajk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Because christianity in those days didn't preach love each other, it preached "follow all of god's ******** and you misbehave ONCE you're being burned forever".
#44 to #40 - AnonymousDonor
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
wrong. i dont know which "those days" you're talking about, but the first century or two was terrified little christians who couldn't even move much less preach, and the few after that were immediately followed by paul's writings (though of course few were actually written by him) and they all preached love from that point on until today

so unless you're talking about two centuries of confusion in comparison to 1800 years of love, i suggest you get your facts straight
User avatar #47 to #44 - gammajk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Because "love" means set up gigantic oppressive dictatorships that rule pretty much everything.... i'd like to see these 1800 years of love, please
#48 to #47 - AnonymousDonor
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
preaching love is quite different from following it, unfortunately

and its not like christians are alone - muslims from what i hear preach much tolerance and family-based love yet there are still taliban... or better yet, think of all the atheists preaching that science is everything and yet so very few of them even understand how science works
User avatar #49 to #48 - gammajk
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
My point was that the god of the bible was a jealous, evil ******** and getting everyone to love each other wasn't exactly the #1 item on his list, so the perfect plan to sabotage all of these people would be for the devil to say "forget all that worship god ****, all god wants you to do is love each other!"
#72 to #49 - AnonymousDonor
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
ah well yes technically that would be a good point but you'd also have to think who would possibly worship such a "god" for so long? there's no upside at all - eventually people would wizen up to worshipping a god with ideals they can actually respect

and in fact that's precisely what they did. the "god of the bible" as you define him is only the one of the old testament; the jewish god, not the christian one
#46 to #40 - AnonymousDonor
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
unless you're talking about judaism, that is
User avatar #80 - jokeface
Reply +24 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Except that God Himself foretold of Jesus coming into the world as early as Genesis. So we know that Jesus was not Satan trying to trick us.
User avatar #130 to #80 - Harmoria
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
>believing Genesis
User avatar #131 to #130 - jokeface
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
>Using a bracket to imply that I must be wrong
User avatar #132 to #131 - Harmoria
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
>implying implications
User avatar #134 to #132 - jokeface
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
>Implicaception
User avatar #142 to #80 - mayedh
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Glad to see someone knows what they're talking about.
User avatar #150 to #142 - jokeface
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Thank you.
#176 - hadzibg
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
#215 - roncon
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
#206 - warlockrichard
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
#96 - suckmyrichard **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#104 to #96 - arkfire
Reply -5 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Yes they do.
#105 to #104 - suckmyrichard **User deleted account**
+13 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#91 - rightouslightning
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
Jokes on you, devil, this has already been done before.
#102 to #91 - ssjlink
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
I'm pretty sure that was the joke...
#127 to #102 - rightouslightning
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(12/20/2012) [-]
"Precisely, Robin!"