true story. www.facebook.com/NoblemanLyfe?ref=hl. Tr" Bell LTE ii Messages like Feddrick hahaha Delivered 9: 35 AM Haha yeah man 6: 01 PM So I had a pretty vivi
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true story

Tr" Bell LTE
ii Messages
like Feddrick hahaha
Delivered
9: 35 AM
Haha yeah man
6: 01 PM
So I had a pretty vivid
dream that I was a fart
salesman, they came in
like canisters that
plugged into the side of
your leg
Y' got different sounds
and scents
And I remember telling a
lady that we were sold out
of a particular kind and
she started crying
because that' s what she
wanted her farts to be like
for her wedding
...
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Views: 32977
Favorited: 67
Submitted: 12/16/2012
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#5 - malizlewaa (12/17/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Do you have any Bonerfarts in stock?
-46
#14 - chopyourhandoff has deleted their comment [+] (6 replies)
#15 to #14 - rowdyzorz (12/17/2012) [-]
He said they came "in like C02 canisters" not that they were C02, if you're going to be a smart ass try be at least try be smart
#11 - zekeon (12/17/2012) [-]
#7 - elkhemist (12/17/2012) [+] (1 reply)
last night, I dreamt that I had to play a prank on my friend at school, and if I didnt I would die. I think like, Satan asked me to do it. Or Obama. Or something.
Anyway, I came up with the genius idea that I would get a load of noodles and put them in a sausepan. Then, I'd get the wet noodles, and fill them with rice, and wrap them all up into a ball and pretend they were eggs.
Then I gave them to my friend and he tried to boil them and it all fell apart and I laughed at him.
User avatar #22 - artisticotaku (12/17/2012) [+] (6 replies)
I had a vivid dream of some dumb bitches being in a dancing studio dancing to this song called "trouble maker" sang by hyuna (go check it out, it's a good catchy korean pop song). They were dancing fine till they got to the part in this song where in the video of hyuna singing, she does this cat gesture for her dance, and these girls were doing some ****** dance for that part of the song. Trying to help these girls improve on what dance moves of the song they already had (because seriously the dance move they had sucked ass) I tried telling them that it would be better to try and do what hyuna does in the music video; they become pissed off very quickly. After minutes of debating, I decided **** this I am OUT! So I leave and say good bye to one of the guys that was standing near the exit (who was *ahem* good looking by the way).
So I leave to go to some waterfall where apparently, the (*ahem* good looking) guy was with his friends and they had three cars parked near the waterfall, playing music and just hanging out. Good looking guy calls me over and introduces me to his friend who is shirtless; who all of a sudden hugs me, which caught me off guard. So I hug him then leave these guys to go in the water (even though I had jeans that were rolled up into capris and one of my favorite tshirts on, I guess I thought the water wouldn't be deep).
So I go in the water, trudging through it as it gets deeper, trying to reach this rock right next to the waterfall where it had a bunch of these beautiful stones and for some reason, shells. I go over there, and as soon as I am about to collect some pretty stones, I see a black spider. It wasn't HUGE or anything, but it was quite big enough for me to notice right off the bat. So it starts hopping like a frog and I start ******** bricks. I run back to the guys, telling them of what I saw (while trying to move and shake to make sure the spider wasn't on me) they all flip **** and start getting in their cars and driving off.
#23 to #22 - bloofh (12/17/2012) [-]
i dreamed i was married to a toblerone
#10 - tarantallegra (12/17/2012) [-]
Last night, I had a dream I was a guy that looked like a girl, and then when I woke up I was so freaking confused about my gender you don't even know.
Pic related
It's the guy I was in the dream
#30 - douchebuttt (12/17/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#24 - emmatron (12/17/2012) [+] (1 reply)
I had a dream that i battered a guys face with a plank of wood, but he wouldn't die. Scared the crap out of me...
#39 - mooghens (12/17/2012) [+] (1 reply)
WUT
WUT
#36 - thecrimsonfucker (12/17/2012) [-]
what the **** am i reading?
#4 - pjpup (12/17/2012) [-]
#49 - macarenaoftime (12/17/2012) [-]
**** cancer research, we need to make these fart machines NOW!! (pic not related)
#48 - supermegasherman (12/17/2012) [-]
today on funnyjunk i learned...
User avatar #37 - ktulu (12/17/2012) [-]
This **** should like be in the stoner-humor
#35 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/17/2012) [-]
I had a dream I was on a Boat sailing towards Miami beach...

and then I woke up and realized I was in foggy, cold, rainy New Jersey

I hate dreams
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