One liners - 3. Top 10 or' Part 3 10. (Going to church doesn' t make you a Christian any more than stan
Click to expand

One liners - 3

Top 10 or'
Part 3
10. (Going to church doesn' t make
you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a
9. The last thing I want to do is
hurt you. But it' s still on the list.
8. If I agreed with you we' d both
be wrong.
7. War does not determine who
is right - only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a
tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not
putting it in a fruit salad.
5. Having sex is like playing
bridge. If you don' t have a good
partner, you' d better have a
good hand.
4. Children: You spend the first
2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you
spend the next 16 years telling
them to sit down and shuttup.
3. We never really grow up, we
only learn how to act in public.
2. If God is watching us, the
least we can do is be
1. I asked God for a bike, but I
know God doesn' t work that
way. So I stole a bike and
asked for forgiveness.
  • Recommend tagsx
Views: 70855
Favorited: 828
Submitted: 12/12/2012
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to heliosnova submit to reddit


What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #10 - herpderpberp (12/13/2012) [+] (4 replies)
"I think one of my dads is gay..."
User avatar #29 - ThatsSoFunnyHeHe (12/13/2012) [+] (3 replies)
This should be titled "Things 13 year olds put as their facebook status"
User avatar #43 - evilpotato (12/13/2012) [+] (3 replies)
"I've got a knife and penis, and one of them is going inside you."
#62 - pulu (12/13/2012) [+] (3 replies)
Any other bridge players in funnyjunk?
User avatar #65 to #62 - tomhefailin (12/13/2012) [-]
#22 - HARMONYHARMONY (12/13/2012) [+] (5 replies)
"War does not determine who is right, only who is left"
#61 - achselschweiss (12/13/2012) [+] (2 replies)
To meet girl in park is good. To park meat in girl is better.
#126 - scumbagposter (12/13/2012) [-]
**scumbagposter rolled a random image posted in comment #25 at The Office **
User avatar #2 - farmermcguffen (12/12/2012) [-]
the only one liner I know
User avatar #5 - genocidalgenesis (12/13/2012) [+] (2 replies)
OP is a ****** ?
sorry thats all i could think of after the last sentence.
#39 - cullenatorguy (12/13/2012) [-]

He said #1...

Two of my favorite lines by him:
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.
#11 - draezeth (12/13/2012) [+] (1 reply)
User avatar #141 - tulpa (12/13/2012) [-]
The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.
#125 - bitchplzzz (12/13/2012) [+] (1 reply)
love the last one
#118 - immortaldragonfire (12/13/2012) [+] (2 replies)
You need to login to view this link

God damnit OP. Right from the same website!
User avatar #147 to #118 - yunablade (12/13/2012) [-]
**yunablade rolls 22**
#99 - fukyeahraptorr (12/13/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #59 - alexxander (12/13/2012) [-]
> One liners
> They're all 5 lines
User avatar #26 - robotekk ONLINE (12/13/2012) [-]
"Never fight with an idiot, he'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience"
User avatar #68 - makethingsworse (12/13/2012) [+] (2 replies)
If one refuses to go right then he must take what is left. (Just came up with that. Channeling Confucius right now.)
#86 - theredspyeatspie **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#3 - neovax (12/12/2012) [-]
**neovax rolled a random image posted in comment #2133047 at MLP Friendly Board ** i have seen every single one of them before at least twice and i didn't laugh then
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)