One liners - 3. /funny_pictures/4295074/One+liners+-+1. Top 10 or' Part 3 10. (Going to church doesn' t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage  One liners - 3 /funny_pictures/4295074/One+liners+-+1 Top 10 or' Part (Going to church doesn' t make you a Christian any more than standing in garage
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One liners - 3

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Top 10 or'
Part 3
10. (Going to church doesn' t make
you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a
car.
9. The last thing I want to do is
hurt you. But it' s still on the list.
8. If I agreed with you we' d both
be wrong.
7. War does not determine who
is right - only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a
tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not
putting it in a fruit salad.
5. Having sex is like playing
bridge. If you don' t have a good
partner, you' d better have a
good hand.
4. Children: You spend the first
2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you
spend the next 16 years telling
them to sit down and shuttup.
3. We never really grow up, we
only learn how to act in public.
2. If God is watching us, the
least we can do is be
entertaining.
1. I asked God for a bike, but I
know God doesn' t work that
way. So I stole a bike and
asked for forgiveness.
...
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Views: 71006 Submitted: 12/12/2012
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[ 145 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #10 - herpderpberp
Reply +90 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
"I think one of my dads is gay..."
User avatar #111 to #10 - masterboll
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
Frankie from Skins
User avatar #45 to #10 - christofferse
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
i lol'd
#90 to #45 - wolfblackfire **User deleted account**
+13 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#84 to #45 - hoykun
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
User avatar #29 - ThatsSoFunnyHeHe
Reply +73 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
This should be titled "Things 13 year olds put as their facebook status"
#48 to #29 - anon id: f53d63a2
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
Well, you're right on some of them but 10,8,7 and 6 was good
#31 to #29 - fuckyosixtyminutes
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
Was just gonna say a less witty version of this statement.
User avatar #37 to #29 - neutralgray
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
Your comment should be titled "I like to make myself feel smarter by putting down others who post quotes that make them feel smart." It'd be a mouthful of course, though.
User avatar #43 - evilpotato
Reply +27 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
"I've got a knife and penis, and one of them is going inside you."
User avatar #134 to #43 - Lautart
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
Or you know...

necrophilia
User avatar #46 to #43 - zigzagderpaderp
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
whynotboth.jpg
User avatar #89 to #46 - fukkendragonite
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
#62 - pulu
Reply -9 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
Any other bridge players in funnyjunk?
#103 to #62 - hinji **User deleted account**
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
no
User avatar #83 to #62 - sissywoo
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
No
User avatar #65 to #62 - tomhefailin
Reply +22 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
no.
#22 - HARMONYHARMONY
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
"War does not determine who is right, only who is left"
User avatar #24 to #22 - varrlegrimscythe
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
"two cannibals were eating a clown, one turns to the other and asks 'does this taste funny to you?"
User avatar #35 to #24 - sora2534
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much is a drink?" The bartender said, "For you, no charge."
#41 to #35 - anon id: 7602a501
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
If your uncle Jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
User avatar #44 to #41 - TheFunnyJunkie
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
woman's rights.
#57 to #41 - testtubebabies
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
The importance of punctuation
#61 - achselschweiss
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
To meet girl in park is good. To park meat in girl is better.
User avatar #105 to #61 - vmandude
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
ok, this mini-thread is ******* awesome. enjoy the thumbs.
User avatar #66 to #61 - operationparlov
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
Boy who masturbates in class has firm grasp of the subject at hand.
#126 - scumbagposter
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
**scumbagposter rolled a random image posted in comment #25 at The Office **
User avatar #2 - farmermcguffen
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(12/12/2012) [-]
the only one liner I know
"_________"
User avatar #5 - genocidalgenesis
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
OP is a ******?
sorry thats all i could think of after the last sentence.
User avatar #8 to #5 - maxismahname
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
that's why ghetto neighborhoods have churches every two buildings... holy ****
#36 to #5 - dankfrank
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
#39 - cullenatorguy
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(12/13/2012) [-]
ALL HAIL EMO PHILIPS BEST COMEDIAN EVER

He said #1...

Two of my favorite lines by him:
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.