One liners - 3. /funny_pictures/4295074/One+liners+-+1. Top 10 or' Part 3 10. (Going to church doesn' t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage
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One liners - 3

Top 10 or'
Part 3
10. (Going to church doesn' t make
you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a
car.
9. The last thing I want to do is
hurt you. But it' s still on the list.
8. If I agreed with you we' d both
be wrong.
7. War does not determine who
is right - only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a
tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not
putting it in a fruit salad.
5. Having sex is like playing
bridge. If you don' t have a good
partner, you' d better have a
good hand.
4. Children: You spend the first
2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you
spend the next 16 years telling
them to sit down and shuttup.
3. We never really grow up, we
only learn how to act in public.
2. If God is watching us, the
least we can do is be
entertaining.
1. I asked God for a bike, but I
know God doesn' t work that
way. So I stole a bike and
asked for forgiveness.
...
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Submitted: 12/12/2012
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Comments(145):

[ 145 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #43 - evilpotato (12/13/2012) [-]
"I've got a knife and penis, and one of them is going inside you."
User avatar #134 to #43 - Lautart (12/13/2012) [-]
Or you know...

necrophilia
User avatar #46 to #43 - zigzagderpaderp (12/13/2012) [-]
whynotboth.jpg
User avatar #10 - herpderpberp (12/13/2012) [-]
"I think one of my dads is gay..."
User avatar #111 to #10 - masterboll ONLINE (12/13/2012) [-]
Frankie from Skins
User avatar #45 to #10 - christofferse ONLINE (12/13/2012) [-]
i lol'd
+13
#90 to #45 - wolfblackfire **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#22 - HARMONYHARMONY (12/13/2012) [-]
"War does not determine who is right, only who is left"
User avatar #24 to #22 - varrlegrimscythe (12/13/2012) [-]
"two cannibals were eating a clown, one turns to the other and asks 'does this taste funny to you?"
User avatar #35 to #24 - sora2534 (12/13/2012) [-]
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much is a drink?" The bartender said, "For you, no charge."
#41 to #35 - anon (12/13/2012) [-]
If your uncle Jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
User avatar #44 to #41 - TheFunnyJunkie (12/13/2012) [-]
woman's rights.
#57 to #41 - testtubebabies (12/13/2012) [-]
The importance of punctuation
#126 - scumbagposter (12/13/2012) [-]
**scumbagposter rolled a random image posted in comment #25 at The Office **
User avatar #29 - ThatsSoFunnyHeHe (12/13/2012) [-]
This should be titled "Things 13 year olds put as their facebook status"
#31 to #29 - fuckyosixtyminutes (12/13/2012) [-]
Was just gonna say a less witty version of this statement.
#48 to #29 - anon (12/13/2012) [-]
Well, you're right on some of them but 10,8,7 and 6 was good
User avatar #37 to #29 - neutralgray (12/13/2012) [-]
Your comment should be titled "I like to make myself feel smarter by putting down others who post quotes that make them feel smart." It'd be a mouthful of course, though.
#39 - cullenatorguy (12/13/2012) [-]
ALL HAIL EMO PHILIPS BEST COMEDIAN EVER

He said #1...

Two of my favorite lines by him:
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.
#61 - achselschweiss (12/13/2012) [-]
To meet girl in park is good. To park meat in girl is better.
User avatar #105 to #61 - vmandude (12/13/2012) [-]
ok, this mini-thread is ******* awesome. enjoy the thumbs.
User avatar #66 to #61 - operationparlov (12/13/2012) [-]
Boy who masturbates in class has firm grasp of the subject at hand.
User avatar #141 - tulpa (12/13/2012) [-]
The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.
#125 - bitchplzzz (12/13/2012) [-]
love the last one
0
#77 - yourmomtotherescue **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #59 - alexxander (12/13/2012) [-]
> One liners
> They're all 5 lines
User avatar #26 - robotekk (12/13/2012) [-]
"Never fight with an idiot, he'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience"
User avatar #2 - farmermcguffen (12/12/2012) [-]
the only one liner I know
"_________"
#11 - draezeth (12/13/2012) [-]
#10
#10
User avatar #40 to #11 - cullenatorguy (12/13/2012) [-]
Don't you have to believe in Jebus an accept him into your blood muscle and you're good?
#117 - FightClub (12/13/2012) [-]
This image has expired
i knew a negro created this post
+3
#86 - theredspyeatspie **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #23 - barabajagala (12/13/2012) [-]
Police caught two kids the other day. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
#6 - AnonymousDonor (12/13/2012) [-]
why whatever do you mean?
#99 - fukyeahraptorr (12/13/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #5 - genocidalgenesis ONLINE (12/13/2012) [-]
OP is a ****** ?
sorry thats all i could think of after the last sentence.
User avatar #8 to #5 - maxismahname (12/13/2012) [-]
that's why ghetto neighborhoods have churches every two buildings... holy ****
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