The Most Bizarre Suicide. Just a morbid story I found that I thought I'd share... i wish it were true...
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The Most Bizarre Suicide

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Just a morbid story I found that I thought I'd share.

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Views: 62510
Favorited: 418
Submitted: 12/10/2012
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Comments(160):

[ 160 comments ]
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#166 - anonymous (01/03/2014) [-]
...MIND SCREW ENDING
#138 - awesomenessdefined (12/12/2012) [-]
Now, this is a good read.
User avatar #164 to #138 - djChives (12/23/2012) [-]
i cri ever tim
#148 to #138 - cynicalskin (12/12/2012) [-]
Really. I usually like stuff like that but it was actually a good story until the ending.
#145 to #138 - anonymous (12/12/2012) [-]
all of my wat
#144 to #138 - KabulMan (12/12/2012) [-]
Duuuude, did not expect that ending

#132 - hipsophobadon (12/11/2012) [-]
Worth the read.   
Don't care if it's fake.
Worth the read.
Don't care if it's fake.
User avatar #119 - zerkerex (12/11/2012) [-]
Hoist by His Own Pitard
User avatar #116 - thatsnotmyname (12/11/2012) [-]
this is at the start of the film magnolia, which is brilliant btw
#110 - anonymous (12/11/2012) [-]
T'was in the movie 'MAGNOLIA' by Paul Thomas Anderson. Great ************ movie by a great director.
Here's the scene:
[url deleted]
#96 - ilikeafros (12/11/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #94 - djjiiiiin (12/11/2012) [-]
I miss tl;dr endings...
User avatar #98 to #94 - drewsky (12/11/2012) [-]
There's no tl;dr ending that could possibly suffice.
User avatar #112 to #98 - victoryismine (12/11/2012) [-]
TL;DR - A man killed his son.
User avatar #120 to #112 - derangedberger (12/11/2012) [-]
Well technically the son killed himself
User avatar #124 to #120 - victoryismine (12/11/2012) [-]
Hmmm. Well, yes I suppose so.

Ok then.

TL;DR - A man committed suicide.
#136 to #124 - firecrotchq (12/11/2012) [-]
TL;DR boy attempted suicide, failed, but still died.

I think this is good enough.
User avatar #115 to #112 - djjiiiiin (12/11/2012) [-]
100 internets for you sir
#123 to #115 - victoryismine (12/11/2012) [-]
It's miss actually.   
   
Here. Have a random gif.
It's miss actually.

Here. Have a random gif.
User avatar #126 to #123 - djjiiiiin (12/11/2012) [-]
Well then... Have 50 internets for you miss.
User avatar #133 to #126 - victoryismine (12/11/2012) [-]
50 more or 50 less?
User avatar #139 to #133 - djjiiiiin (12/12/2012) [-]
Erm... You gave me a random gif, and I thought a random number :x
User avatar #135 to #133 - drewsky (12/11/2012) [-]
Prolly less. Since you're not in the kitchen.
User avatar #101 to #98 - djjiiiiin (12/11/2012) [-]
Trust me, it is always possible...
User avatar #102 to #101 - drewsky (12/11/2012) [-]
No, no it's not.
User avatar #106 to #102 - djjiiiiin (12/11/2012) [-]
A great example of it is the bible... It should have a tl;dr at the end
User avatar #109 to #106 - EvanHammies (12/11/2012) [-]
Jesus Dies.
User avatar #114 to #109 - djjiiiiin (12/11/2012) [-]
That is called spoiler, not tl;r (:
#93 - anonymous (12/11/2012) [-]
Almost as good as Rasputin's story...
#92 - mississippiriver (12/11/2012) [-]
this is actually also in a movie too i think i cant remember its name though
#90 - charleslangdon (12/11/2012) [-]
this joke is literally 5+ years old. i remember our math teacher telling us this story in 8th grade and im a freshman in college now.
User avatar #122 to #90 - HarvietheDinkle (12/11/2012) [-]
Joke?
User avatar #108 to #90 - TheHutchie (12/11/2012) [-]
It's not a joke, it's a true story and was mentioned on QI.
User avatar #88 - andyshandy (12/11/2012) [-]
If only the story had a magnum instead of a shotgun.

Then it would've been Dr Mills' magnum opus.
#141 to #88 - anonymous (12/12/2012) [-]
You glorious son of a bitch...
#83 - cynicalskin (12/11/2012) [-]
Woah. That was interesting as hell.
-4
#81 - OsamaBinLadenz has deleted their comment [-]
-1
#104 to #81 - lauryn **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #111 to #104 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/11/2012) [-]
>implying I was confused.
User avatar #107 to #104 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/11/2012) [-]
Where did it say that again?
-1
#118 to #107 - lauryn **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #125 to #118 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/11/2012) [-]
Alright, if you say so. As a counter arguement, my replies still remain for you to thumb down, and from my viewpoint, I'd still get the gist of what the user was trying to say from those replies. Perhaps if you'd read, you'd have understood that I meant for the general population, and that I never said that the general population would be confused by it. You're a ******* idiot, but no offense.
User avatar #128 to #125 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/11/2012) [-]
Oh, haha. How silly of me; see comment #113, but I imagine you were too busy exploiting your biased advantage on my previous comment to read it.
0
#127 to #125 - lauryn **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #129 to #127 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/11/2012) [-]
Alright, seems we're done here in that case. Happy browsing.
#85 to #81 - fcrocker (12/11/2012) [-]
Yeah the story sounds kinda **** like that...
User avatar #87 to #85 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/11/2012) [-]
It may, but that's all it was. It's not like it was necessary to go through a long, drawn out explanation such as that unless maybe it was in a mystery novel so that it could keep the reader guessing. Literature-wise, it keeps interest, but on a realistic standpoint, it could've been easily summarized as such.
User avatar #95 to #87 - ICEDgrunge (12/11/2012) [-]
Yeah, you could also say that the Lord of The rings could be cut down to "Frodo leaves to throw the ring into the volcano, Frodo throws the ring into the volcano", but that would make a **** story.
User avatar #97 to #95 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/11/2012) [-]
That's an entirely different story. There's so much detail that is within the story. It's a long ass novel and there's tons of **** that happens between those events, and like I said, this is not from a piece of literature, and even if it was, I didn't leave out a detail in that summary; that's literally what happened, and this repost just adds unnecessary wording to it. In a novel, these words are necessary, as there's more to it than "Oh, the ************ threw a ring into a volcano."
User avatar #103 to #97 - ICEDgrunge (12/11/2012) [-]
Yes, it was a bad comparison, but I think to cut down a short story to something of 30 words would make it blander than it already is, the entire point of this story was to draw it out for the twist at the end of it, there needs to be a decent amount of space in between to make it anything worthwhile, and to summarize it would simply make it worthless.
User avatar #113 to #103 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/11/2012) [-]
I see your point. On a side note, I guess there's really no point in digging myself into a deeper hole. Although I was correct factually, opinions don't matter on this site. It's likely that this'll be reposted sometime in the future, and that someone might point this out, and get thumbs up for it. This site's community is like one humongous bipolar person; you really can't tell when to try to get on its good side.
User avatar #149 to #113 - undeadwill (12/12/2012) [-]
Wait...
Didn't we...
Kill you?
User avatar #150 to #149 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/12/2012) [-]
Yeah, and it hurt like hell.
User avatar #151 to #150 - undeadwill (12/12/2012) [-]
o.o

Hey you got any airplanes left after the battle of South Park against the Jersey Shore?
User avatar #152 to #151 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/12/2012) [-]
After killing that big of a cancer strain? Hell no.
User avatar #153 to #152 - undeadwill (12/12/2012) [-]
We need your help one last time.

These is a new threat greater than all others. Honey Boo Boo
User avatar #154 to #153 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/12/2012) [-]
Son of a bitch. Jamal! Get over here!
User avatar #155 to #154 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/12/2012) [-]
Forgot to tell you. hired africans to help.
User avatar #156 to #155 - undeadwill (12/12/2012) [-]
Will it work?
User avatar #157 to #156 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/12/2012) [-]
Maybe...but the real question remains; will it blend?
User avatar #158 to #157 - undeadwill (12/13/2012) [-]
Sir I have gathered what remains of my forces and a time machine we have evidence they Honey boo boo's mother and or honey boo boo will be either in field in Pennsylvania, two towers in new york or the pentagon.

This our last hope. I have done all I can.
User avatar #159 to #158 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/13/2012) [-]
I will blend them then.
User avatar #160 to #159 - undeadwill (12/13/2012) [-]
Your a hero Osama Bin Laden
User avatar #161 to #160 - OsamaBinLadenz (12/13/2012) [-]
*salute* No, my friend. I am an hero.
User avatar #162 to #161 - undeadwill (12/13/2012) [-]
Give 'em hell sir.
#78 - Derpraffe (12/11/2012) [-]
yeah, because this is a true story
#77 - lolollo (12/11/2012) [-]
The Universe was feeling particularly clever that week, it seems...
The Universe was feeling particularly clever that week, it seems...
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