Biology Class. . edit Today in my biology class we were talking about hurricane Katrina. My teacher asked this really slutty girl what some of the effects of th
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Biology Class

edit
Today in my biology class we were
talking about hurricane Katrina. My
teacher asked this really slutty girl
what some of the effects of the
hurricane were and she replied,
well everything got all wet and
dirty." Suddenly the quietest guy in
class looks up and goes, "Kate, no
one asked about your weekend.
...
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Views: 72794
Favorited: 264
Submitted: 12/06/2012
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Comments(162):

[ 162 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#108 - peacetrooper (12/07/2012) [-]
>9th grade
>school had a secluded corner where there were sofas and **** for students to chill
>going to math class, alone in the halls
>go up there and sit in one of the sofas a little bit
>fall asleep
>woken up by sound of high heels violently stomping through the halls and my math teacher yelling "WHERE IS ANON"
>oh **** son
>when she's gone through the hall I haul ass to the classroom and get in my seat
>she gets back and asks where the hell i've been
>say i've been here the whole time and classmates support that theory
>mfw teacher bursting with suppressed rage
User avatar #167 to #108 - drfreeman (12/07/2012) [-]
Why would a teacher care that much to run down the hall looking for you o.o All of my teachers would just mark me absent.. or even if they knew i was skipping class or whatever it may be.. they would just confront me later or do nothing..
#62 - harryblazer (12/06/2012) [-]
>in high school
>friendly with really quite, shy kid
>loud, fat bitch in class
>no fat and sameful. but thinks she's ******* rooney mara or some ****
>always complains about everything, just to get a rise out of the teacher
>one day shy kid forgets lunch, so I give him a candy bar
>now when he shoots up the school im a friend, NOT A TARGET
>fat bitch sees him putting in his bag
>bitch goes off likes theres a 2 for 1 special at baskin robbins
>"omg! this freak gets a snack, why cant i have one! this is so unfair, im gonna eat when i feel like" bla bla ********
>teacher says hes not eating it, hes saving it. and she cant to eat during class
>" I will if I feel like it ! i need to keep healthy for feild hockey, im the pitcture of what a feild hockey player should be
>quiet kid looks up
"well that must be one hell of a wide frame"
>bitch is laughed at for the rest of the day
>gets "most well rounded" in the yearbook
>everyones face when
#53 - anon (12/06/2012) [-]
> Be in high school
> Have a really quiet girl in class
> Never really talks unless answering a question
> Really smart, but not adorkable
> More the stern/calm type so most people just leave her alone
> Middle of the year, we get a new student from Boston
> Pretty clear right away that he's an attention seeking douche canoe
> Wouldn't stfu in English class one day
> Being really loud and obnoxious
> Quiet girl turns around
> "Whaddya want, creep?"
> "I was simply wondering if everyone from New Jersey was such a colossal ass pain."
> " **** you, bitch, I'm from Boston!"
> She doesn't miss a beat
> "How lovely. Why don't you go have a tea party with your dollies and SHUT THE **** UP?!!"
> Everyone's jaw drops
> She turns back around like nothing happened
> Now he hardly ever speaks when she's in the same class
> It was a beautiful day
#63 to #53 - bluelight (12/06/2012) [-]
you should become friends with her man
you should become friends with her man
#66 to #53 - vishnapalm (12/06/2012) [-]
I'm from New Jersey and I like the people I go to school with...
#51 - rmoran (12/06/2012) [-]
#87 - anon (12/06/2012) [-]
>Be me
> Walking down the hallway in school one day
>Hallway is super crowded
>See a bunch of jocks handing out flyers for a "Dodgeball Tournament"
>Short quiet kid with long hair walks by
>He gets picked on a lot
>Super tall Jock goes right up to him with a flyer
>Kid declines politely
>Jock says "That's right, you don't play dodgeball! You have long hair!"
>(what the **** does that even mean)
>Jock and his friends laugh at the kid
>Kid punches him in the stomach and shoves him into his own locker as hard as he can
>Jock says nothing
>Kid walks into class and everyone gives him high five's
#16 - samoaspider (12/06/2012) [-]
anyone got more quiet kid stories?
anyone got more quiet kid stories?
User avatar #58 to #16 - ronniesan (12/06/2012) [-]
Spiderman. Look him up.
#50 to #16 - fourthusername (12/06/2012) [-]
My buddy told me (so I can't confirm this) that there is this Muslim kid in his class. He never says anything in class but my buddy found a comment of his on Youtube on a Micheal Jackson video saying:
"haha he will never reach heaven because he didn't believe in Allah!"
#68 to #16 - anon (12/06/2012) [-]
I have a story like this, only instead of one quiet kid, there were two,and instead of saying something witty, they shot up the school.
User avatar #22 to #16 - andrewjla (12/06/2012) [-]
they shoot up schools...
User avatar #18 to #16 - PubLandlord (12/06/2012) [-]
Yeah there is this kid called samoaspider who needs to be quiet
#27 to #18 - uzzwick (12/06/2012) [-]
What a good story, Mark!
#44 to #27 - trickytrickster (12/06/2012) [-]
I'm so happy that I have you as my best friend!
User avatar #20 to #18 - Eralus (12/06/2012) [-]
That....was.....the BEST story ever!
User avatar #19 to #18 - samoaspider (12/06/2012) [-]
thanks.
#90 - herefortheporno (12/06/2012) [-]
>Be in 7th grade
>Passing in the living room
>Parents are watching one of those family sitcom shows
>Guy on TV says "I love the smell of paint in the morning. It smells like...PAINT."
>The way he said that made me laugh until I cried
>Still think about it the next day
>In school taking a test
>Suddenly remember
>Can't stop smiling
>"Hehe. PAINT."
>Everyone turns around
>I turn around too, to not look like an idiot
>mfw turning around
User avatar #98 to #90 - thefitz (12/06/2012) [-]
>Be Junior year of High School
>Taking test
>Receive text message
>Tourettes guy ringtone
>"BOB SAGET!!"
>Class looks up
>I try to look around to blend in
>every one is staring at me and starts to laugh
>pokerface.jpg
>Lose phone for the day
#111 - anon (12/07/2012) [-]
>Be a Sophomore in high school biology class.
>Walls of the classroom are covered in taxidermy.
>Bitchy, attention-seeking girl who always tries to impress everyone speaks up one day in class.
>"Um, I don't appreciate seeing all these animal heads on the wall."
>Teacher looks directly at her and says, "But you see one every day when you look in the mirror."
>Everyone in class laughs.
>Unfortunately, bitchy girl continues being an attention whore throughout the remainder of the year.
#92 - banditmuffin (12/06/2012) [-]
>Be last gym class of the year   
>Playing dodge ball    
>Weird quiet girl just kinda standing in the corner, not really playing   
>Ball hits me square in the jaw   
>Teacher yells "you're not supposed to catch it with your mouth!"   
>Quiet girl yells "They aren't those kind of balls, buddy!"   
> Teacher has to pause the game 'cause he can't stop laughing   
   
Never even heard her voice before then
>Be last gym class of the year
>Playing dodge ball
>Weird quiet girl just kinda standing in the corner, not really playing
>Ball hits me square in the jaw
>Teacher yells "you're not supposed to catch it with your mouth!"
>Quiet girl yells "They aren't those kind of balls, buddy!"
> Teacher has to pause the game 'cause he can't stop laughing

Never even heard her voice before then
User avatar #82 - sgtmajorkururu (12/06/2012) [-]
>be in band class
>go out for the clarinet sectional
> Playing a song
>Thinking about futureama
>Episode where bender goes to hell
>Have a smirk on my face
>Teacher stops us
> Still thinking about the robot devil
> Not listening to a ******* thing
> He asks a question
> I chuckle and say "The Devil"
> People around me burst out in laughter
> Confused as ****
> I asked what was funny
> they said the question I answered was
> Who made the saxophone
> **** .
User avatar #95 to #82 - kokovo (12/06/2012) [-]
I think I love you. Funniest band related thing on the website EVER! (Btw, I'm i m band. Play the tuba. :3)
User avatar #107 to #95 - xgameloverx (12/07/2012) [-]
Saxophone master race reporting in.
User avatar #109 to #107 - kokovo (12/07/2012) [-]
OH **** ! DEVIL SPAWN! XD

In my opinion, the saxophone's a pretty badass instrument.
User avatar #166 to #109 - sgtmajorkururu (12/07/2012) [-]
My band director hates how immature they are and how it's just a naturally out of tune instrument.
User avatar #180 to #166 - kokovo (12/07/2012) [-]
Not really. They're actually usually in tune 90% of the time. I dunno why you're band directer thinks that.
User avatar #171 to #95 - chezburgadominator (12/07/2012) [-]
(I play Baritone Horn..)
User avatar #181 to #171 - kokovo (12/07/2012) [-]
You're ******* awesome. Baritones and tubas, coolest instrumets ever!
User avatar #37 - galkawhm (12/06/2012) [-]
I got a quiet kid story. (I am the quiet kid btw)

>Be freshman
>Asshole senior picks on me
>Be like "Whatever, I endured worse **** in elementary school"
>Says something to a teacher but she doesn't do ****
>Quietly endure it
>Half a school year passes and he won't shut up
>One day talking to teacher and he keeps making rude noises. (The kinds that somehow get people to stop talking)
>Turn around and yell "SHUT THE ******* HELL UP!" as loud as possible.
>Whole class is quiet
>Senior gets written up
>Never hear him talk for the rest of the year.

I find out later that almost nobody liked the kid. Heck, a teacher that had him in another class hi-five'd me for doing that.
-9
#39 to #37 - applescryatnight has deleted their comment [-]
#48 - datgermanguy (12/06/2012) [-]
It's always the quiet ones that deliver the epic lines!
#30 - netic (12/06/2012) [-]
Rest of class, right after.
Rest of class, right after.
+17
#45 - oxytoxic **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #46 to #45 - divinecreator (12/06/2012) [-]
dat shockwave
0
#186 to #46 - oxytoxic **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#131 - theroflcer (12/07/2012) [-]
Applause to the quietest guy (Whatever his name is)
Applause to the quietest guy (Whatever his name is)
#123 - harbingerwolf (12/07/2012) [-]
>Be me in new college class
>Making ****** banking/wanking puns between friends
>Hottestblondearrives.jpg
>Ask us whats so funny about banking
>No time to explain in class, accidentally say "I'll have to show you later"
>Whole class laughs and explains to her
>She smiles and says she looks forward to it
>MFW i realised i accidentally asked the hottest girl in the class if she wanted to masturbate with me only to have her leave the course soon afterward
#101 - climatus (12/06/2012) [-]
>be in 7th grade American History class   
>Teacher is very non-emotional, never shows any expression at all (i mean 			*******		 never)   
>learning about Lewis and Clark Expedition and 			****		   
>Teacher tells us about when Lewis and Clark met Sacajawea   
>Kid in class says fairly loudly, "and then Lewis and Clark explored her"   
>Teacher laughed   
>Whole class's face when   
>great day
>be in 7th grade American History class
>Teacher is very non-emotional, never shows any expression at all (i mean ******* never)
>learning about Lewis and Clark Expedition and ****
>Teacher tells us about when Lewis and Clark met Sacajawea
>Kid in class says fairly loudly, "and then Lewis and Clark explored her"
>Teacher laughed
>Whole class's face when
>great day
#147 to #101 - anon (12/07/2012) [-]
Not funny. She was like 16, and was forced to marry an abusive Frenchman in his 40s by the tribe that kidnapped her as a preteen. She then had to bring her newborn on the expedition when her husband got them hired for the expedition. Actually, it's clear from the journals that she was far more respected than her "husband." At one point, the dumbass almost knocked over a boat, loosing countless notes, supplies, and artifacts. While he continued to be a useless ******** until one of the men threatened to kill him unless he grabbed the rudder, Lewis and Clark were busy (Lewis was extremely impulsive, and had tried to jump in to save what had been lost. Clark realized the water was too fast, and Lewis would drown, and was forcibly holding him back). Meanwhile, Sacajawea was collecting the smaller items she could reach, and bringing them back on board. This was only one of the moments she shows her impressive mettle and bravery on the expedition. Sadly, she died a few years after the expedition.
#161 to #147 - anon (12/07/2012) [-]
It was a joke, anon. Calm your hairy tits.
#178 to #161 - anon (12/07/2012) [-]
It was three dogs. They attacked a suicide bomber that snuck onto the barracks. One dog died in the explosion. The other two were adopted by soldiers and brought to the US. Look up, Sasha, Target, and Rufus. My question is, how did a bomber sneak onto barracks? Does that happen often?
#179 to #178 - landcfan (12/07/2012) [-]
God dammit! I'm the anon who objected. Just made an account. That dog thing was supposed to be on a different page, where it wouldn't let me post. I had put both my reply here and for the other one in a Word file, since anons can only post once an hour, and I didn't want to type them again. And I guess anons can't delete comments. THIS is what I meant:

An unoriginal joke about two men in their 30s gangraping a teenager. Sorry, the Lewis and Clark expedition is kinda my thing. Lewis was my cousin, and my middle name is, in fact, Lewis. I have done research on them for the majority of my life, and I have great respect for Sacajawea. I have also done research about what happened to her tribe, and have even been in contact with a member of her tribe about their struggles with tribal recognition and their hope of getting a small piece of land in their original territory, which was taken in the 1900s. But that's a whole 'nother can of worms...

Also, I tried to make the latter part of the post amusing at least. She was a BAMF. There were actually all sorts of bizarre, interesting, and funny things in the journals. Did you know Lewis threw a puppy at someone? And that he was shot in the ass by one of his own men (that's what happens when you go hunting dressed in buckskins with a guy with only one eye...)? Or that at one point, a bison calf followed him around like he was its mother until his dog frightened it away? Or that when some Indians stole the dog, he threatened to burn down their village? Or that it was Lewis’s job to treat the STDs his men got from the natives? Or that the expedition suffered from chronic constipation due to an almost exclusively carnivorous diet, which they treated with mercury? Trust me, there are plenty of things to joke about regarding the Lewis and Clark expedition that actually happened, instead of picking on an innocent girl.
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