Twilight. . 23 minutes age . Like q - 23 minutes age . Like Stephenie Meyer is an inr: wherent wannabe author whe tried much he hard he create a fictional tale


23 minutes age . Like
q - 23 minutes age . Like
Stephenie Meyer is an inr: wherent wannabe author
whe tried much he hard he create a fictional tale that mid relate h
teens +. She ruined the reputation of vampires by _ Arning them int:
sparkling Fairies. Vampires do net SPARKLE in sunlight, they die, They
have super pewees, they just suck peoples bleed. There is NO
such thing as a 'vegetarian' vampire, because they are humpable of
feeling human and have no other motivation hen h kill
HUMANS. when exposed ten r: resses, they' re weakened. when
exposed be GARLIC,' they are repelled. In the first twilight movie,
Edward eats a slice Sibella' s pizza, This isn' t possible Fer two
reasons. I; THERE IS GARLIC ON PIZZA, and 2; their bodies cannot
digest human Feed because everything inside of them is dead.
BECAUSE everything inside them is dead, they are incapable of
impregnating a human. Sperm is living, therefore hat is net possible,
Jellyvampire, halffroman babies do net exist. and even f they did,
they weild Feast en bleed and then die at an adult age. Net Feast en
bleed, and suddenly step crewing when they reach a certain age.
can' t read each ushers minds, they simply turn anty
dogs, and they mest definitely manhat freeze their age
while waiting Fer a 2 year old girl h be old enough h date. In
r: contusion, Jacey is a pedophile and The Count" Frem sesame street
is more of a vampire than eduardo will EWER be,
  • Recommend tagsx
Views: 27356
Favorited: 79
Submitted: 11/29/2012
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to beny submit to reddit


What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #13 - dementedllama (11/29/2012) [-]
I don't care about twilight, but why is it everybody has this idea there's only one specific kind of Vampire? There are countless variations of Elves, Dwarfs, Goblins, trolls, Gnomes, etc. But the only fictional creature's description that is absolute is Vampire?
User avatar #18 to #13 - PVTDickStryker (11/30/2012) [-]
When trying to find a true definition of something fiction look at the original or earliest variation of it to accept as its true original. Take elves for example, who do you think are true elves, the supernatural beings of European folklore, or Santa's pack of midget-slave-workers?
User avatar #30 to #18 - weinerdick (11/30/2012) [-]
I think santa's elves are the children of dwarves and elves.
#14 to #13 - selfdenyingbeggar (11/29/2012) [-]
I'm with you. I don't think those are god points to criticize just because she went and created her own version of those "monsters". On the other hand, **** Twilight.
#19 - farmermcguffen (11/30/2012) [-]
Not backing Meyer up here but in some cultures a Vampire is a bloated corpse that explodes when pricked with a silver needle, but she chose her own rendition, it's called an artistic license. Just like space explosions or dual wielding Uzi's
Not backing Meyer up here but in some cultures a Vampire is a bloated corpse that explodes when pricked with a silver needle, but she chose her own rendition, it's called an artistic license. Just like space explosions or dual wielding Uzi's
#137 to #19 - anon (11/30/2012) [-]
I also have no issue on Meyer's version. I just wish she didn't call them vampires. I mean, she could have created an entirely new species, but she proceeded to almost insult the vampire mythology.
#27 to #19 - sometimeswefuck (11/30/2012) [-]
true but certain things you may only tweak, not change the whole basis of - for example vampires. sure in some stories the vampires can turn into a bat etc etc, but what meyer did totally butchered it
some things you just dont change, like phil collins - in the air tonight. you just dont touch that **** .
User avatar #32 to #27 - thepyras (11/30/2012) [-]
The vampire mythology was the only problem I didn't have with Twilight, to be honest. I thought her version of vampires was really cool. They had super strength and speed, had the capability of drinking from any animal, had diamond-hard skin, could heal very quickly, and each had a special ability based on what they could do as a human.
User avatar #121 to #32 - daentraya (11/30/2012) [-]
I still prefer Hellsing kind of badass, but whatever. Oh, they have special powers? Like what? Sounds quite fun actually
User avatar #123 to #121 - thepyras (11/30/2012) [-]
Well yeah other mythologies were preferable, especially Underworld, I'm just saying I liked hers too. Well, Edward can read minds because he was good at understanding people when he was a human, Bella could stop mind powers because they didn't work on her as a human, it goes on and on. Oh and Benjamin had telekinesis, that was never really explained.
User avatar #124 to #123 - daentraya (11/30/2012) [-]
I didnt really get that when i saw the first two movies at all. Didnt really like them. For some reason, i like it when theres special powers based on personality. Like Madoka Magica.
User avatar #193 to #124 - thepyras (11/30/2012) [-]
The movies focus a lot more on the romance than anything else, which the books do as well, but they had more time to discuss other matters.
User avatar #195 to #193 - daentraya (11/30/2012) [-]
Of course the books had more stuff in em, but i really doubt i'd get much out of them. I think I'm familiar with all that happens in the first book anyway, so even if i wanted to, it'd feel redundant
User avatar #196 to #195 - thepyras (11/30/2012) [-]
Yeah I'm not recommending that you read them, they aren't the finest pieces of literature to say the least.
#202 to #32 - anon (11/30/2012) [-]
okay thats pretty cool. but i gotta say i disagree about the whole sunlight part. i think that should constant throughout vampirism. that and blood drinking. like the very raw and basic foundation should be kept - if you follow what im trying to say
User avatar #203 to #202 - thepyras (11/30/2012) [-]
Yeah, I get what you're saying. I think it should have caused them damage, but still, it makes sense. If vampires actually existed and never went into sunlight people would assume that it was because they couldn't.
User avatar #158 to #32 - pokemonstheshiz ONLINE (11/30/2012) [-]
The vampires in Supernatural were pretty similar, and I didn't hear anyone complain about them
#131 to #32 - bizarredread (11/30/2012) [-]
Diamon hard skin.. so that's why they sparkle?

i now have more respect for them sparkling boys.
User avatar #194 to #131 - thepyras (11/30/2012) [-]
Sorry, I went offline. Yes, that is why. Their skin is multifaceted.
#2 - miwauturu (11/29/2012) [-]
I do have an issue with the fact that vampires die in sunlight. This is not always true, if you look back to Bram Stoker`s Dracula, he lost the ability to shapeshift in daylight, and usually had to retreat to his coffin to sleep, but he was perfectly capable of surviving.
#21 to #2 - anon (11/30/2012) [-]
The idea of them not being able to survive might be due to the fact that they lose their supernatural ability. Perhaps not a literal death, but a perceived one.
User avatar #36 to #21 - shadovfox (11/30/2012) [-]
i believe that they just lost their superhuman powers (strength, ability to change form, etc. ) but not mortal, only a stake thru the heart and decapitation would kill him. i think it weakens him over time asweel, so it will maybe kill him at last
#149 - mdmclean **User deleted account** (11/30/2012) [-]
#154 - aludin (11/30/2012) [-]
Lord of the Rings>All other books
User avatar #155 to #154 - littlesoldierboy ONLINE (11/30/2012) [-]
#175 to #154 - kippa (11/30/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#201 to #175 - aludin (11/30/2012) [-]
Sorry it's tiny
Sorry it's tiny
#204 to #201 - kippa (11/30/2012) [-]
It's cool dude, it's cool...
It's cool dude, it's cool...
#206 to #205 - kippa (11/30/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#208 to #207 - kippa (11/30/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#210 to #209 - kippa (11/30/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#211 to #210 - aludin (11/30/2012) [-]
I am sorry but I have no more.
#72 - neocortex (11/30/2012) [-]
This image has expired
Well said.

If you want to read real vampire books, read Anne Rice the Author of "Interview with a Vampire"

User avatar #90 to #72 - jamesrustler (11/30/2012) [-]
Or the Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlainne Harris
User avatar #33 - shadovfox (11/30/2012) [-]
uhm...some wrongs here. vampires can feel. in Bram stokers Dracula, dracula falls in love with mina(the wife to the main person) and that's why he tries to turn her. and he got some superpowers. he can create fog, controll wolfs and bats. he can turn himself into a bat and a big dog, and got superhuman strength.
User avatar #34 to #33 - shadovfox (11/30/2012) [-]
all according to what i briefly remember from Bram stokers Dracula
User avatar #16 - supernovah (11/30/2012) [-]
yes, because vampires and werewolves are real and the criteria that defines them is FACT....
#64 - kanonxclannad (11/30/2012) [-]
Someone never played Castlevania.
#85 to #64 - itrinx (11/30/2012) [-]
Wanted to post belmont, you beat me to it but...

Julius !
#73 to #64 - anon (11/30/2012) [-]
I love you
User avatar #5 - redscorpion (11/29/2012) [-]
Boy.... That escalated quickly

Stephanie Meyer inspired me to write my own book (which i completed yesterday) I figured if she can become rich on pedophilia, beastiality, necrophilia.... It can't be that hard to write.
User avatar #37 to #5 - ferrettamer (11/30/2012) [-]
This sounds interesting...
User avatar #6 to #5 - kolimm **User deleted account** (11/29/2012) [-]
ca-can i read it?
User avatar #7 to #6 - redscorpion (11/29/2012) [-]
of course, once it's published. I had posted a part of it on here once and remember most FJ made rage when they need to read.
User avatar #8 to #7 - kolimm **User deleted account** (11/29/2012) [-]
yeah every fj'er sucks and need to die

what's it called?
User avatar #9 to #8 - redscorpion (11/29/2012) [-]
Four kings: Legend of the crystals, Its a book inspire by Legend of Zelda and Lord of the ring
User avatar #10 to #9 - kolimm **User deleted account** (11/29/2012) [-]
sounds cool, i love lotr.
i'll keep an eye out for it :)
User avatar #26 to #9 - zaggystirdust (11/30/2012) [-]
I would also be interested in this
User avatar #29 to #26 - redscorpion (11/30/2012) [-]
I have a fan page on facebook that you can read about it, including the prologue

#182 - GussssUpYourAssss (11/30/2012) [-]
Really guys, this is getting pretty stupid. The reason Twilight books/movies are bad is not because they changed the characteristics of a vampire. In fact, that could be considered creative and original in a different environment. The real reason they're bad is because they have a poor storyline, made up almost completely from cliches. I wouldn't give a **** if a vampire sparkled if it was in a well thought and well told story.
User avatar #188 to #182 - erikwarmblood (11/30/2012) [-]
against my better judgement im going to agree with you. its an interesting take on the mythos of vampires and werewolfs. but i do have to agree that the storyline is terrible. only good parts is the fights. im a fan of werewolfs in every movie i see and this is no different, its an interesting idea at least, crappy love story making every woman in 'murika look for this nonexistant perfect man, the same goes for 50 shades, wich started as a twilight fan fiction.
User avatar #159 - Iloldmypants (11/30/2012) [-]
I don't get why Harry Potter always seems to be Twilight's rival on the internet, I always see people arguing over which one is better. While I do assume Harry Potter is better (I don't have the inclination to read twilight and find out for sure.) but I never see Twilight been compared to other books. I've never seen anyone argue about whether A Song of Ice and Fire is better than Twilight, or Dune or Diskworld or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Kids on the internet nowadays might think Harry Potter and Twilight are the only books in existence. /pointless rant
User avatar #160 to #159 - Iloldmypants (11/30/2012) [-]
User avatar #167 - denonymous (11/30/2012) [-]
I like Darren Shan's version of vampires to be honest
User avatar #168 to #167 - therealtotodile ONLINE (11/30/2012) [-]
I want you inside me now! No just kidding. I was just expressing the intensity of my undying respect for you, you handsome mother ****** .
#145 - rototornjik (11/30/2012) [-]
speaking of vampires...
User avatar #53 - herpymcderp (11/30/2012) [-]
Still talking **** about Stephanie Meyer? That is so 2008.
#95 - TheCynic (11/30/2012) [-]
She's way off.

Dracula had a ******** of powers. More than most super heroes. He could shape shift into a wolf and a bat, and he was also a master of disguise often framing other people for his crimes if he didn't hypnotize them to do it themselves. And sunlight didn't kill him, it just took away his vampire powers.

A vampire is a literary symbol of corruption and human temptation. Dracula only drank the blood of women whom were easily corruptible and seduced. Note that it was only women- as the drinking of blood is a sexual act. To put a person under the spell of a vampire is to seduce them into the carnal desires and turn them "evil." A vampire is not simply a being that drinks blood and shape-shifts, but a being that is tainted and seeks to taint others through seduction and temptation.

Hence why Edward (or Eddy as I call him) is not a vampire. Vampires do not go to high school and refuse to corrupt the weak. They are not romantic creatures of the night that are just "misunderstood." They are demons, creatures preying on the weakness of man.
User avatar #108 to #95 - undeadwill (11/30/2012) [-]
**undeadwill rolls 84** That was ******* awesome.

Take my dubs
User avatar #109 to #108 - undeadwill (11/30/2012) [-]
**undeadwill rolls 61**
User avatar #110 to #109 - undeadwill (11/30/2012) [-]
**undeadwill rolls 04**
User avatar #111 to #110 - undeadwill (11/30/2012) [-]
*roll 10*
User avatar #112 to #111 - undeadwill (11/30/2012) [-]
**undeadwill rolls 902,304,036**
User avatar #113 to #112 - undeadwill (11/30/2012) [-]
**undeadwill rolls 53**
User avatar #114 to #113 - undeadwill (11/30/2012) [-]
**undeadwill rolls 14**
User avatar #116 to #114 - undeadwill (11/30/2012) [-]
**undeadwill rolls 88** Oh wait *****
Oh wait *****
User avatar #117 to #116 - undeadwill (11/30/2012) [-]
******* knew it.
#140 to #95 - tyraxio (11/30/2012) [-]
Aye but (and let me clear it up that I do NOT like Twilight) the point of Edward is that he is a rebel in vampire community. The other vampires (i.e. his family) match you description more or less, but Edward thinks this is wrong.

Vampire isn't your state of mind, it's merely the fact that you're exposed to the curse/disease.
#59 - CatfishCrothers (11/30/2012) [-]
This bitch doesn't know anything about draculas either. where is it written that ALL draculas have to be the exact same? I mean, the Twilight draculas were dumb as hell, but at least Meyer tried to put a creative twist on dracula lore. Also, in Bram Stoker`s Dracula, he lost the ability to shapeshift in sunlight, it didn't kill him. Then again, I doubt she's ever even read the book nor ever watched the Bela Lugosi film. She probably just watched From Dusk 'Til Dawn like a ******* noob.

TL;DR Do you even Dracula?
User avatar #138 to #59 - infamoustrapper (11/30/2012) [-]
have you read the darren shan vampire books? theyre ******* amazing and they go against all stereotypical vampire rules
User avatar #20 - alexdelooze (11/30/2012) [-]
But vampires do have powers, the can change wind; control minds; turn into and control mist; turn into shadows, and bats; they can also control wolves and rats. (Correct me if im wrong but i got all of this from Dracula which is one of the earliest novels about vampires around)
User avatar #35 to #20 - shadovfox (11/30/2012) [-]
But they can't travel over open water, and sleep unless it is in their own dirt
User avatar #38 to #35 - alexdelooze (11/30/2012) [-]
Well didnt dracula pull the open water thing off by shipping himself to england in a crate of his own dirt?
User avatar #39 to #38 - shadovfox (11/30/2012) [-]
yea. but his power got limited I think
User avatar #41 to #39 - alexdelooze (11/30/2012) [-]
Yeah, thats true.
#170 - funnyjunknsfwsecti (11/30/2012) [-]
>There is no half-vampire half-human baby
Ever heard of a Dhampir? They're also known in legend for being great vampire-slayers because they're stronger than humans.
#169 - peacerock (11/30/2012) [-]
I like that answer
I like that answer
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)