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From: Justin Flicker
Date: Sunday 6 May 2012 6
To: David Theme
subject: Lamp
I received your note but you cant go onto other peoples property and
take things, that' s trespassing. is a wooded area and I
installed that light tor security. It' s a safety issue. I cant help n it
some of the light goes across the road, close your curtains it it
bothers you.
From: David Thoma
Date: Sunday 6 May 2012 7.
To; Justin Flicker
Subject: Re: Lamp
Hello Justin,
Thank you tor your email. While I accept that curtains are usually the
key to community accord, in this instance they would need to be
constructed oi lead sheeting. Last night, with my
curtains closed and bedside light off, I read a book. Wearing
sunglasses, Under a blanket.
Though unconvinced that blinding local fauna is the best solution. I do
understand the heightened need tor security living in a wooded area
such as the gated community of demands. Having
formerly lived my entire We in Australia, I am unfamiliar with much oi
the local wildlife but I did see my first raccoon last week. I stepped
outside to have a cigarette and the raccoon. sitting less than live teat
away beside an appended bin eating the remains of a Domino' s
Artisan Tuscan Salami pizza. hissed at me surprised, I threw myself
backwards, rolled several times toward the door, and sprang to my
teat holding the above my head to appear taller.
Sometime during the maneuver, probably during the
roll part as it was over gravel and I was wearing shorts and a thin t-
shirt so I had to take it slow, the raccoon bit. Which probably isn' t as
exciting 8 story as it should be but this isnt Borneo and I' m not Jack
London.
I did see a snake the other day though. I picked up a stick to poke it
with which also turned out to be a snake. Jumping back in panic, I
threw it away trom me, but our dog thought I was playing (etch and I
had to run and lump over a creek to get away.
As such, this weekend I intend to set up a canister oi poisonous gas
in my yard with an industrial tan behind it I cant help u it some or the
gas goes across the road.
Regards, David.
From: Justin Flicker
Date: Monday 7 May 2012 2.
Ta: David Thoma
subject: Re: Re: Lamp
is that meant to be a threat? Put something up in your window it you
don' t like the light, we lived here 5 years before you even moved into
the neighborhood and gut along perfectly with Ryan who lived at your
property more you. We went to his Biya' s and I loaned him our
mower We get along with all our neighbors. I dent know what you
people do in your own country but in this country we dent go onto
other peoples property and touch their stun.
From; David Theme
Date: Monday 7 May 3.
To; Justin Flicker
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Lamp
Dear Justin,
In my country, megawatt globes are reserved for police helicopter
chases and warning sailors at hazardous shoals. This is despite the
tact that practically every living creature there can kill you in under
three minutes. our primary spoken language is screaming.
I' m not surprised you get along well with all the other neighbours. If
you put my children with Dawn' s syndrome in a room there is going
to be a lot oi hugging.
And no, , was not a threat. It was an exaggerated response to an
uncompromising stance, I was taught never to make a threat unless
you are prepared to carry it out and I am not a tan oi carrying
anything. Even watching other people carry: things makes me
uncomfortable. Mainly because oi the pout they may ask me to
help.
I did consider installing a floodlight as bright as yours. but this would
require some term carrying things. electrical wiring knowledge. and
access to a power supply capable of producing that amount oi
wattage, Probably men. As I am told oft by my partner tor wasting
money when I leave the lighten in the bathroom overnight, I can only
speculate to what her reaction would be to an electricity bill eight
times our annual income for retaliatory garden lighting. She would
probably have to get a third job.
It would be much cheaper to stand in my driveway and throw rocks. I
can’! help it it some of the rocks go across the road. You should
probably put something up in your window.
Regards, David.
From: Justin Flicker
Date: Tuesday 8 May 2012 10.
Ta: David Thorne
subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp
Did you take our lamp again asshole? What part about not being
allowed to go on our property don' t you get?
From: David Thorns
Date: Tuesday 8 May 2012 10.
Ta: Justin Flicker
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp
Dear Justin,
No, I did not take the light again. I relocated it again, its current
location may be discovered by deciphering the mowing set of clues
to " whereabouts. Perhaps you could invite your friend Ryan over
and treat n as a kind of treasure hunt:
1. It' s in the letterbox again.
I Look in the letterbox.
As I realise this probably won' t narrow it down much for you, I will give
you a third clue in the form of a riddle:
What burns with the light at a thousand suns and is in the Otterbox?
Regards, David.
From: Justin Flicker
Date: Tuesday is May 2012 ll
To; David Theme
subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp
I put a smaller lamp in so you can shut the **** up now. Don' t email
me again and it you ever trespass on our property again I will press
charges.
From: David Thorns
Date; Tuesday 8 2012 12.
Ta: Justin Flicker
subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp
Dear Justin,
What it I have a barbecue and need to send you an invitation? is it pk
to email you then?
Regards, David.
From: Justin Flicker
Date; Tuesday 8 May 2012 12.
Ta: David Thoma
No it' s not ck.
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 8 May 2012 12.
To; Justin Flicker
Dear Justin,
What it I need to borrow your ? I cant invite people over
tor a barbecue and expect them to stand in long grass. someone
might be bitten by a snake, It' s a safety issue.
Regards, David.
From: Justin Flicker
Date; Tuesday B May 2012 3.
Ta: David Thoma
**** off back to Austria.
...
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Views: 27335
Favorited: 158
Submitted: 11/23/2012
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Comments(53):

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+48
#25 - tannerman **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (1 reply)
#13 - slipperyjoe (11/24/2012) [+] (1 reply)
mfw " **** off back to Austria."
+27
#16 - amandatoddd **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (5 replies)
#31 - pickledwolf (11/24/2012) [-]
"If you put 50 down syndrome children in a room there's going to be a lot of hugging"
"If you put 50 down syndrome children in a room there's going to be a lot of hugging"
#36 - angusmansg (11/24/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Comment Picture
User avatar #22 - fizzythunder (11/24/2012) [-]
Australia = Austria
fine example of a great education
User avatar #30 - hydrogummybear (11/24/2012) [-]
This is my all time favourite post on Funnyjunk. I love you for reposting it.
#9 - theproudbrony (11/23/2012) [-]
Don't even care this is a repost, this is freakin' hilarious.
#2 - toyroom (11/23/2012) [-]
**toyroom rolled a random image posted in comment #1876926 at MLP Friendly Board ** Thats what she said!!!!
#33 - bagononsense (11/24/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#34 - TheColorPurple (11/24/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #10 - gorginhanson (11/24/2012) [+] (2 replies)
Did anyone else notice he said Austria and not "Australia" at the end?
#43 - junkinator ONLINE (11/24/2012) [-]
i lost my 						****					 at the treasure hunt part
i lost my **** at the treasure hunt part
User avatar #38 - idancethefoxtrot (11/24/2012) [-]
I actually was able to make a laughing sound which issued from my mouth as opposed to a small snorting noise which issued from my nose. Well done and go tiny island continent!
User avatar #23 - irnbrusnowman (11/24/2012) [+] (2 replies)
http :// www . 27bslash6 . com /

More David Thorne awesomeness ^
#52 - sengenjin (11/24/2012) [-]
I just had to stop mid post and run to the toilet cuz i damn near pissed AND shat my pants from laughing so hard. Well played!
I just had to stop mid post and run to the toilet cuz i damn near pissed AND shat my pants from laughing so hard. Well played!
#41 - feralgoatdragon (11/24/2012) [-]
lol to people that didint read, this **** was funny as hell!
#42 - lobocop (11/24/2012) [-]
that was funny, but it also made me feel bad cause that situation could have been handled better, but good for the luls!
[ 53 comments ]
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