Clients from Hell 16
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Clients From him
Designing a wallpaper for a client' s computer:
CLIENT: I think the design is great. when could we install one
on my computer?
ME: Yes, we' ll reduce size some more and tomorrow I can get
you the actual me. Do you know your screen resolution?
CLIENT: I use it for Blueray, if that helps. I can rightt the book if
CLIENT: We' re really happy with Both logos.
ME: That' s great. Which one are you going to go with?
ME: You can' t have two logos for the same company. That' s
CLIENT: our committee is split, so we' decided that we' d
lust use them Both.
ME: Have you ever seen a company with two logos?
CLIENT: We' ll be the First. It' s good to be different.
Client: “We need our ad to look exactly like the ads from
Seattle (a different store' s ad By a different company).''
Me: “Well, I can’ t Just steal their ad.”
Client: "[Cutting me off] No. Yes we can, I have permission
from on high to use their ad. It' s OK.”
Me: "OK, permission from whom?”
Client: "My Boss said that it' s on"
Me: "But your Boss doesn’ t hold the copyright on that ad...”
Client: “He doesn’ t need to, he said it' s on"
For some reason I am not able to attach the 3' ' signs to
the email, to send it off to be printed. Is there any way that
you can change it to be 'KB', instead of 'MBT The 'KB' ones
always seem to work Better for me."
CLIENT: “She needs the Multiposting package for cable and
the Multiposting intenet.”
ME: "...The Multiposting '
ME: “The intenet... the intenet we have is in every
CLIENT: "But which one is cheaper?''
CLIENT: So, what color is the fastest?
ME: Excuse me?
CLIENT: We want our site to be really fast, so what color
takes the shortest time to download?
A client has various Business areas which are By
acronyms, including LAP, EQP and FAP. They wanted some
new online adverts made up. I asked what ideas they' d had
for the text. This is what they came back with
FAP online (everyone is doing it)
FAP in schools
CLIENT: (holding an old Brochure) If you have this on your
computer, we can Just update the information.
ME: Great, that' s easy.
CLIENT: But can you change the font?
CLIENT: This picture doesn' t really work. And the
background Is a little too.... frilly. And the title should -
ME: Why don' t you tell me what to keep First.
CLIENT: I like the trifold.
Me: For your website, did you have any colors in
mind or are you open to anything?
Client: Well, Red is our brand color, But Red is more
expensive, Isn' t it?