Go on, secede. From Keith Olbermann, a satire letter. Enjoy. e attepmt' Dear Texas: I have received your petition to secede from the United mates and have forwa texas obama secession anal sex
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Go on, secede

From Keith Olbermann, a satire letter. Enjoy

e attepmt'
Dear Texas:
I have received your petition to secede from the United mates and have forwarded
it to Congress who will an on it with their usual speed.
Alt military bases in Texas win he tiered and l' e! . sated lo has es in the
United States, except for it loin: to guard the Texasfags Herder.
Arty Twas citizen holding a TJS passport is ' ed to .
Entry into the US airi] ' ' e a valid Texas passport. Anyone ' than
we week: will have to certain a visa.
Emile; for highways, , bridges, ' , education and
medical facilities will re an ., to the US Congress
are ordered to have as soon as possible. All Atl licenses to do
are 1' . reaized.
The FAA will no longer operate at your airport: and air trams: , are
state& An Federal Civil Berated employees in the country of Texas are
terminated.
The FCC no longer so you will be responsible In Hedda your on
teleplay's, radio, and Internet providers.
Anyone payments for Social Security. , Medicaid and
Disability will have to reapply and Congress will deride ' elop" n' t are
allowed to receive payments Erna: the US .
The Coast Guard will no longer operate in Texas waters so suggest you form
your out navy Immediately to protect your borders against foreign invaders,
drug smugglers. terrorist: and alliens.
Gobed HER.
your portion of the bill: for the debt.
...
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Views: 16096
Favorited: 36
Submitted: 11/16/2012
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Comments(110):

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#35 - esmebuffay (11/17/2012) [+] (3 replies)
It seems he learned handwriting from a doctor.
User avatar #38 to #35 - malinko ONLINE (11/17/2012) [-]
turn it on its side, it looks like a penis ejactulating
User avatar #14 - Gamby ONLINE (11/17/2012) [-]
No research was done. what.so.ever. New age know it all faggotry
#45 - darklit (11/17/2012) [+] (1 reply)
no lie how funny would it be to hear on the new "Earlier today Texas seceded from the U.S, and immediately war broke out against Mexico"
no lie how funny would it be to hear on the new "Earlier today Texas seceded from the U.S, and immediately war broke out against Mexico"
User avatar #55 - xxsleepxx (11/17/2012) [-]
What annoys me the most is that people have actually tried to make this petitions work... The main reason is because Obama was re-elected president. Yea Obama got elected, get over it. Try again next four years.

Opinion: In all honesty, this sort of makes me believe Obama is the better choice. Not sure i trust people who, after losing, immediately resort to seceding.
User avatar #6 - dharkmoswen ONLINE (11/16/2012) [+] (27 replies)
You know what I see here? A rediculous ammount of job openings. And do you REALLY think that Texans in the military aren't going to go back home and BE the Texas military? Not like Texans need a military anyway. (Rednecks + guns = closed borders and reduced crime) The Texas economy is in the top 15 of the world, and the US would have to INVADE to take the Texas-owned military supplies (such as bases, missiles, etc.) Texas also has the MOST usable farmland in the country. There are multiple locally owned stations, and phone/internet companies in the state.

There we have it: Government, military, food, import/export, and communication. As well as a formidable reputation. It's possible, likely, and I hope to god it happens.
User avatar #18 to #12 - TidusSloan (11/17/2012) [-]
Racism is still a thing everywhere
#80 - Wingz (11/17/2012) [-]
Realistically, Texas could secede tomorrow and surpass saudi arabia in less than a decade as far as wealth through resources and oil production. Easily. Its already the 15th largest economy in the world, the fed would be screwed having one of the only productive states leave to not support social welfare for the entire nation and paying all the desks created in washington
User avatar #7 - natedizzie (11/16/2012) [+] (2 replies)
I guess they didn't know that states pay for roads and bridges and buildings not federal.
Thats why there is a tax on gas to pay for the roads you drive on. and if Texas is their own government why would they care about licenses they will just reinstate all those that the US government fired as their own.
#68 - SpaceZombie (11/17/2012) [+] (4 replies)
Okay people. The following is why Texas should secede:

When I was younger, I lived in Texas. It was my parents, my older brother, and myself (and later two younger brothers). We had a maid/nanny and a gardener. The gardener was bitten by a black widow or a brown recluse (I don't remember; I was very young) while tending to the plants in our backyard. My parents said he just booked it out of the yard. The maid is irrelevant (and so is my family now that I think about) - she was just nice so I thought I'd put her in my story. Another time, I found a tarantula in my bedroom. I was a kid and there was a huge ass spider in my bedroom. I was traumatized - I'm still afraid whenever I go anywhere in the South. There are more stories involving spiders, but I don't remember most of them because I was too young (the only reason I know about them is because my family has told me). Also, there were multiple times I saw rats in the backyard while I was in the pool.

TL;DR: **** Texas, **** their spiders, and **** their rats.
#72 to #70 - SpaceZombie (11/17/2012) [-]
I was just kidding. I thought it was obvious from the image of a duck saying "this is sewious".

I guess not.
#34 - myrtille ONLINE (11/17/2012) [+] (15 replies)
I love how people thumb down the comments supporting the secession of Texas and its neighbors. We just know we could do it, we could stand on our own two feet and get **** done. We're the states who supply most of the ******* military for pete's sake. Of course they'd come back and defend their OWN families and country. The US is too ******* big to have everybody be happy. The rest of the country needs us, and that's why they want to try to scare us away from it.
Tyranny at its best.

Here's a ******* cute picture of a monkey hugging a parrot because I don't want to make you mad. Good night, y'all.
User avatar #57 to #50 - myrtille ONLINE (11/17/2012) [-]
Coming from an anon.
#21 - hockeynerd (11/17/2012) [+] (14 replies)
They act like Texas would be ****** .. 15th largest economy, their own power grid, AT&T, hot bitches, and why would they be unable to control their own airports? Texas would be the best suited state if one were to secede.
#37 to #36 - zeroclassified (11/17/2012) [-]
With far less signatures and a lot more Democrats.
#85 - anonymous (11/17/2012) [+] (4 replies)
Sad part is... Texas is in the top 15 for the biggest economy.
User avatar #89 to #85 - ronyx (11/17/2012) [-]
Lots of small businesses in Texas, but if they are to leave then many businesses would just leave Texas.
#15 - elise (11/17/2012) [-]
**elise rolled a random comment #35 posted by zedfourhundred at Why it's Good to Have Toyota LandCruiser ** :
Whenever stuff like this happens.. i can't be the only one who wishes there is a cop car just a couple cars infront.


This is the exact face i would pull as i went past his pulled over car


^^^This.
#11 - Bohya (11/16/2012) [+] (1 reply)
**Bohya rolled a random image posted in comment #1695548 at MLP Friendly Board **

Why would they want to remove the one icon which makes America what it is?

Texas.
User avatar #66 - commontroll (11/17/2012) [+] (3 replies)
Texas won't actually secede unless there's just straight up tyranny going on, or the federal government succeeding at banning firearms. And if that's going on, I'm pretty sure a huge amount of other states would secede as well, then the Federal Government would have to initiate another civil war, and come up with some moral excuse to make their soldiers think they were fighting for the best interests of America or something.
#62 - anonymous (11/17/2012) [-]
Texan here, people who want to secede are in a HUGE minority. if there was an anti-secession petition it would have like 20 times the signatures. it's just rednecks being stupid rednecks.
User avatar #44 - sketchysketchist (11/17/2012) [-]
Same for every dumbass country that wants to secede.
#19 - recoveryone (11/17/2012) [-]
Chuck Norris+that aggressive female named Texas to the left=All the Texan military needs
User avatar #17 - helltard (11/17/2012) [-]
they should leave the bases there, but just kick out texans, we are in all these other countries we should piss off texas and stay there too
#5 - lordhaha (11/16/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#1 - knownoday (11/16/2012) [+] (3 replies)
We'd just go take over more of Mexico, it's not like they want anyways, why else are they all in Texas then?
User avatar #60 to #4 - duudegladiator (11/17/2012) [-]
What ******* century are you from? There is Texas Air/Navy/Ground National Guard. They would NOT answer to the U.S. because they are all FROM Texas. These men are just as well armed as Regular military. And the only downside is that they do not get much in the term of investments.
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