Louis CK. Source: www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8tLenDOtVI. ELLEN FISHEH Blurr' theese ma sane! I' m a good citizen. in good father, I recycle, and I masturbate. pl  fap
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[ 209 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#5 - tireyhawnuyu
Reply +104 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Her face later that night
Her face later that night

#6 to #5 - drastronomy
-17 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#18 to #6 - kilroyxx
Reply +28 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#13 to #6 - mcalti
Reply +25 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #125 to #13 - leemcgiffen
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
What did she say to get -17 thumbs? Im always curious when this happens.
#228 to #125 - mcalti
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Something like "lololol does she have sperm in her eyes later that night?"
#16 to #6 - ost
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
It's frightening how much i get to use this .gif.
It's frightening how much i get to use this .gif.
#20 to #16 - drastronomy
-8 123456789123345869
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User avatar #21 to #20 - ost
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Not ew. But that ****** only funny when you're like 8.
#22 to #21 - drastronomy
-10 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #31 to #22 - ost
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Then GTFO instead of whining whenever you get red thumbs.
#79 to #31 - captaincabinet **User deleted account**
+3 123456789123345869
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User avatar #83 to #79 - ost
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
He said something along the lines of "She's leaking sperm through her eyes?"

Some mature comedy right there.
User avatar #204 to #83 - brettyoke
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
We all know that if that had received 2 thumbs up within the first 5 minutes, it would be a top comment right now... Sad as it may be...
#87 - leredspy
Reply +78 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Does anyone else think that finding out someone thinks about you while masturbating would be a massive confidence boost and flatter you in a weird way?
Does anyone else think that finding out someone thinks about you while masturbating would be a massive confidence boost and flatter you in a weird way?
User avatar #131 to #87 - Hreidmar
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
It really is.

I wank to you
#140 to #87 - GrammarNaziSirius **User deleted account**
+12 123456789123345869
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User avatar #159 to #140 - elcreepo
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
I have a crush on you, because you're one hell of an FJer. I stalk your profile, think about you every night, and have never even had the courage to ask your name or where you live, because that would ruin your allure.

You are loved, GrammarNaziSirius. More than you know.
User avatar #212 to #159 - thinegame
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Well said, elcreepo.
#91 to #87 - cometfire
Reply +18 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
I do as well.
I do as well.
User avatar #89 to #87 - crazysexyhorse
Reply +24 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
I don't think there's anything weird about it.
#90 - cometfire
Reply +60 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
As a Christian, and regular Bible studier, I can verify that masturbation is indeed natural and in no way against any law or considered a sin, unless you are doing it in a really perverse way. Like spying on your sister in the shower.   
   
Fellow Christians. Masturbation helps relieve sexual tension from our bodies and can help keep us from making mistakes. Like accidental pregnancy. It also promotes healthy hormone and heart health, and can aid in fending off depression. Our bodies are designed to start having sex very early on and back when the new testament was written, you can legally marry by the age of 14 by your own consent and begin a family. We can't do that now because of today's laws in most countries. So the next best thing is masturbation. Hooray~   
   
In short. Masturbation is good.   
 Keep fapping, my brothers.
As a Christian, and regular Bible studier, I can verify that masturbation is indeed natural and in no way against any law or considered a sin, unless you are doing it in a really perverse way. Like spying on your sister in the shower.

Fellow Christians. Masturbation helps relieve sexual tension from our bodies and can help keep us from making mistakes. Like accidental pregnancy. It also promotes healthy hormone and heart health, and can aid in fending off depression. Our bodies are designed to start having sex very early on and back when the new testament was written, you can legally marry by the age of 14 by your own consent and begin a family. We can't do that now because of today's laws in most countries. So the next best thing is masturbation. Hooray~

In short. Masturbation is good.
Keep fapping, my brothers.
User avatar #150 to #90 - tomoyomomo
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
I am a christian, Roman catholic to be exact, I go to catholic church, i go to church everysunday, and so do all of my friends.

WE ALL JERK OFF, WE DONT ******* THINK WERE DIRTY SINNERS IN THE EYE OF GOD, CHRIST MAN relax...
#198 to #150 - lickmyteabag
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Did you even read his comment?
User avatar #207 to #198 - tomoyomomo
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
ehh i stopped halfway through, im lazy, sorry
#225 to #207 - cometfire
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
then read the bottom for a sum up.   
   
Take your own advise and chill the hell out.
then read the bottom for a sum up.

Take your own advise and chill the hell out.
User avatar #226 to #225 - tomoyomomo
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Yea sorry, i ****** up!!
#92 to #90 - emazegenociide
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#99 to #90 - anon id: 55688817
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Just curious, how do you masturbate without lusting? Even if you're not thinking about sex, you're lusting over your own flesh. Matthew 5, son.
User avatar #105 to #99 - cometfire
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Lust is an obsessive sexual desire. Like if you are chronically masturbating, or obsessed about it, then yeah that's kind of bad. I fantasize about my fiance. I've been dating her since I was 12 and she is the only girl [woman now] that I've seen naked. I know..moral fag.

But we're human. We lust, envy, greed, get pissed off, and do all sorts of silly things. None of us are perfect. And it's not our fault.
User avatar #102 to #99 - iliketires
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
I don't masturbate because I'm lustful, I do it because im bored, or to calm down.

Basically masturbation for me is so I don't murder people.
#101 to #90 - deadfeds **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #112 to #101 - cometfire
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
OH OH OH! nono Onan refused a direct order. Jehovah was telling Onan to marry his brothers wife after he died so their family would continue, but he disobeyed and jacked off instead.

In the old testament, wasting your seed was bad. You were to marry ASAP and fill the earth with the pitter patter of little feet. But times have changed, laws have changed, and the bibles new testament stands for even todays rules.
#116 to #112 - deadfeds **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#118 to #116 - cometfire
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
"cums" from   
   
Ahh you little bastard you XD
"cums" from

Ahh you little bastard you XD
User avatar #108 to #101 - cometfire
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
May I have the passage? I'd like to look it up.
#114 to #108 - deadfeds **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
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User avatar #117 to #114 - cometfire
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
could be. I'm finding very little info on it. Honestly to me it sounds like he killed the baby.

but from what this person says the translation is, he was supposed to have sex with her.

Ah whatever. It's the king James wording. I hate that crap.
User avatar #154 to #90 - deltadeltadelta
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Catholics consider masturbation a sin because they believe every sperm is sacred. It's also why they believe using condoms is a sin.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk
#153 to #90 - thebigcountry
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Well said sir.
User avatar #171 to #90 - redJericho
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Masturbation itself isn't a sin, however sexual fantasies are (lust), which commonly follows masturbation.
#100 to #90 - iliketires
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
I love you. In celebration of reading this I'm gonna fap to you.
I love you. In celebration of reading this I'm gonna fap to you.
#107 to #100 - cometfire
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Oh you.
Oh you.
#123 to #90 - ahjay
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Sure does cure depression. Masturbated after I had a terrible talk with an ex of mine. Man did I feel better.
Sure does cure depression. Masturbated after I had a terrible talk with an ex of mine. Man did I feel better.
#132 to #90 - malhaloc
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
A pro-Christian comment with +20 thumbs? Sir! You are charged with witchcraft and heresy! BURN HIM!
A pro-Christian comment with +20 thumbs? Sir! You are charged with witchcraft and heresy! BURN HIM!
#219 to #132 - cometfire
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Oh here. if you want a bigger one for next time. Thanks for the lawl.
Oh here. if you want a bigger one for next time. Thanks for the lawl.
#224 to #219 - malhaloc
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
I like bigger gifs
I like bigger gifs
#218 to #132 - cometfire
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#15 - deathrinderalta
Reply +40 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
#25 to #15 - anon id: 3eb12432
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
If it's that old then it's about time it got reposted
#47 - facedodge
Reply +29 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
Here is a photo of the Christian chick........................................................................... ................................................................................ ......................So you can fap to it
User avatar #98 to #47 - jinjo
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
She's not really an anti masturbation embasador or snything, thi is a skit.
#42 - jibb
Reply +18 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
#155 - RamDozer
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
We masturbate so we can relieve stress, if we don't, we're all gonna become ******* rapists.

I'm a christian, but god damn, some christians just need to chill the **** out.
#139 - weirddark
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
not nearly as funny without hearing her response
User avatar #143 to #139 - twothreefivefive
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
What was it?
#148 to #143 - freshbakedrolls
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]






click the video in the description
User avatar #145 to #143 - Ruspanic
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
link in the description
User avatar #146 to #145 - twothreefivefive
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Well I feel dumb now.
#180 - wooyoungkim
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
She posts this picture of herself and expects us not to masturbate???

User avatar #183 to #180 - wooyoungkim
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Wait. I just realized this was an episode of Louie, gah I'm so stupid.
Don't worry, it's fake folks.
#209 to #183 - SunilCCXXXVII **User deleted account**
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
You cunt, I was going to have an awesome wank thinking about her being a christian... now I just have to watch some porn on motherless instead....
#187 to #183 - copperoxideking
Reply -7 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
User avatar #192 to #187 - wooyoungkim
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(11/16/2012) [-]
Except there are multiple people who didn't realize this was fake? You do realize that there are A LOT of people on funnyjunk don't you?
#49 - facedodge
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]







Comedian/Masturbator

User avatar #50 to #49 - HarvietheDinkle
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
That was literally right in the content.
User avatar #53 to #50 - facedodge
Reply -6 123456789123345869
(11/15/2012) [-]
yes... pointing it out for those that glossed over it for the think of you punchline.