To do list. . Wear shirt that says "Life." Hand out lemons on street corner. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other. Major in philosophy.
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To do list

Wear shirt that says "Life." Hand out lemons on street corner.
Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that.
Go into a crowded elevator and say, "I bet Berthe all wondering why I gathered
you here," with a straight face.
Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
Become a teacher. Make a test where every answer is "C." Enjoy the show.
Wait until Someone is about to sneeze. Right before they do, loudly scream
Run into a store, ask what year it is. When answers, yell "It worked!"
and run out cheering.
Buy a horse, name it "Oscar Takes the Lead," enter it in horse races.
Invite into your office, turn around in office chair and say, "I' been
expecting you-"
Change name to Simon. Speak in third person.
Become a doctor. Change last name tn Acula.
Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say, "Help! I' been turned into a parrot."
Follow joggers around in a car blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement.
Stacy' s mom.
...
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Submitted: 11/09/2012
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#11 - kevinzheng (11/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
User avatar #7 - tanneresbueno (11/10/2012) [-]
>Wear a suit
>walk into crowded elevator
>say, "I bet you're wondering why I gathered you all here."
>straightest face (ain't no homo face)
>say, "If you follow me I can answer all your questions."
>get out at next stop
>see if anyone followed
>If so take them to a petting zoo
>Have a hell of a day petting baby goats with your new friends
#9 - sniperfumbles ONLINE (11/10/2012) [-]
An entire list of jokes older than I am? You must've really worked hard to make that "OC."
#5 - dedaluminus (11/10/2012) [-]
But seriously, repost
#8 - illegalartist (11/10/2012) [-]
in 9th grade my friends and i would ride elevators facing the back of the elevator. we thought we were so funny.
User avatar #6 - boymanlady (11/10/2012) [-]
At one point in my life I tried to say "pika" before I sneezed a couple times, but it came out more like "biGHHAASHUUUU" so I switched to "ACHEEWbacca"
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