List of everyday helpful tips.. just the tips. Home ' Weird > Joke AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. IF YDU' RE DODGING AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BAILIN
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List of everyday helpful tips.

Home ' Weird > Joke
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. IF YDU' RE DODGING AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF
BAILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. THE BLOCKAGE WILL
INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID YOURSELF WHEN SLIDING VEGETABLES BY
SEEING SOMEONE ELSE TC) HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT _ USE THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS =- SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF
AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE
ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL
PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP
AFTER YOU HIT THE SNEEZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES.
THEN YDU' LL BE AFRAID TC) DAUGH.
I YOU ONLY NEED TWD TOOLS IN LIFE _ AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT
DOESNT MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE IF IT SHOULDN' T MOVE
AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
B. REMEMBER _ EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW
THEM.
IF YOU CANT FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YDU' GOT AN ELECTRICAL
PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES _ NOT REALLY
SOCK) FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TC) YOUR FACE WHEN
PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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Views: 19171
Favorited: 64
Submitted: 11/05/2012
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User avatar #3 - megawatt (11/05/2012) [-]
10. CAPS LOCK MAKES EVERYTHING SOUND MORE LEGITIMATE.
User avatar #16 to #3 - thatnerdyguy (11/06/2012) [-]
I don't know why, but I'm very compelled to believe you about that.
User avatar #4 to #3 - sorenlolz (11/05/2012) [-]
I WILL BE SURE TO TRY THAT
User avatar #5 to #3 - negitivzero (11/05/2012) [-]
11. NEVER TAKE LAXATIVES AND SEDATIVES AT THE SAME TIME.
#7 - toureecrensey (11/05/2012) [-]
> 7 says only tool you'll ever need is ducktape
> 9 states if you can't fix it with a hammer its an electrical problem
User avatar #2 - sepheroth (11/05/2012) [-]
I'm confused, it went from hilarious to true at 7. Mixing jokes with serious is weird
#19 - sweateagle (11/06/2012) [-]
The second rule goes for golf balls as well.
The second rule goes for golf balls as well.
#20 to #19 - sweateagle (11/06/2012) [-]
And tomatoes.
And tomatoes.
User avatar #22 to #20 - shogg (11/06/2012) [-]
What the **** is thatÉ
#23 - sweateagle (11/06/2012) [-]
Slinkies, you say?
Slinkies, you say?
User avatar #12 - spikethepony (11/05/2012) [-]
**** your **** , 7 is my life-long philosophy.
#15 - rhiaanor ONLINE (11/06/2012) [-]
#24 - ankensam (11/06/2012) [-]
this sounds like advice i give my friends   
   
friend "my head hurts"   
   
me "cut it off"   
   
friend "then i'll die"   
   
me "but you wont be in pain anymore will u?"
this sounds like advice i give my friends

friend "my head hurts"

me "cut it off"

friend "then i'll die"

me "but you wont be in pain anymore will u?"
User avatar #17 - laky (11/06/2012) [-]
well, they do work?
User avatar #13 - wolverinebamf (11/05/2012) [-]
#5 actually seems like a good idea. I'm going to do something less painful. Like a pin or something.
User avatar #14 to #13 - millenia (11/05/2012) [-]
Even better is a loud alarm across the room so you'll have to get up to shut it down.
User avatar #21 to #14 - JklnHyd (11/06/2012) [-]
You would be surprised at the ingenuity of a lazy person who is half asleep. There is always a way to reach it while leaving at least a foot in the bed.
User avatar #25 to #21 - millenia (11/06/2012) [-]
Probably, my studio apartment is like 5 metres wide though so it'd be impossible for me :P

I've actually gone back under the covers and fallen asleep like a retard though..
User avatar #9 - mahjimmiesarusslin (11/05/2012) [-]
6.. i lost it at 6... this guy in the line where i used to work coughed and **** his shorts so bad it came out as he ran to the restroom leaving a **** trail
User avatar #10 to #9 - mahjimmiesarusslin (11/05/2012) [-]
He also died on the toilet, heart attack
User avatar #11 to #10 - thatoldhorse ONLINE (11/05/2012) [-]
his name wasnt by any chance elvis, was it?
#8 - xfrankie (11/05/2012) [-]
if you can't fix it with a hammer, find yourself some bigger hammer...
#1 - emomonster (11/05/2012) [-]
Forgot the actual description.

Found this while stumbling. Website is You need to login to view this link and I think OP is ibdunn.
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