Logic. desciption.. >Mom is Jehovah's Witness >Have to keep lights off on Halloween >Kids come to door anyway and mom's not home >Don't have anything to give them >G tags
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#36 - skateabuga
Reply +76
(11/01/2012) [-]
>Mom is Jehovah's Witness
>Have to keep lights off on Halloween
>Kids come to door anyway and mom's not home
>Don't have anything to give them
>Go grab some canned peas
>Kill and dismember the kids bodies with the peas
#44 to #36 - triggathepirate
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
7/10   
Did not see coming
7/10
Did not see coming
#103 to #36 - iwalkudie
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#52 to #36 - beyondwolf
Reply +3
(11/01/2012) [-]
I really don't know where a good reactions picture is to reply to how funny this was but have this. 9/10 would read again.
#54 to #52 - skateabuga
Reply +4
(11/01/2012) [-]
here you go
#55 to #54 - beyondwolf
Reply +4
(11/01/2012) [-]
I don't even think that covers it.
#56 to #55 - skateabuga
Reply +2
(11/01/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#58 to #56 - beyondwolf
Reply +2
(11/01/2012) [-]
That doesn't describe how much I laughed.
#57 to #56 - skateabuga
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
#43 to #36 - benighted
Reply +4
(11/01/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#63 to #36 - ahj
Reply +6
(11/01/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#37 to #36 - skateabuga
Reply +11
(11/01/2012) [-]
MFW
MFW
#62 to #36 - karnax
Reply +11
(11/01/2012) [-]
I have GOT to stop reading the last line first.
I have GOT to stop reading the last line first.
#4 - chazzxz
Reply -76
(11/01/2012) [-]
I know its a joke, but just so everybody is aware, they do celebrate it.
#17 to #4 - thegirlyoudespise
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
No they do not
They do not celebrate any holiday, they also do not believe in medical care
#19 to #17 - anon
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
Um...Correct that they don't celebrate Halloween (Christmas, Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Independence Days, or most other secular holidays), but they don't believe in medical care? You mean "improving the science of medicine for everyone"? Because if you Google "Jehovah's Witnesses bloodless health care," you will find a whole lot of good stuff about new treatments developed specifically for them, and also how the Army is looking at improving and creating new procedures to use on the battlefield. You may also notice that bloodless health care has a shorter recovery time and fewer complications. Even many non-JW's are going the bloodless route because it is being seen as better. Interesting, is it not?

Also, Google "Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York v. Village of Stratton, Ohio," a First Amendment related Supreme Court Case won by Jehovah's Witnesses, and notice that one of the things mentioned was that it protects trick or treaters during Halloween season. Better yet, Google "Jehovah's Witnesses and the First Amendment" and see how else they've prevented the government from barring you from claiming your rights.
#20 to #19 - thegirlyoudespise
Reply +6
(11/01/2012) [-]
take it easy man
#74 to #4 - amidgetwalrus
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
#50 to #4 - ihawk
Reply +1
(11/01/2012) [-]
My Grandma is a JW and it's a pretty known fact that anybody who follows the religion and is caught celebrating this can (and will) be disfellowshipped.


They don't. And I could talk about how offensive and untrue this picture is, but nobody would probably care. Not to mention this was on front page at least 2 months ago.
#5 to #4 - woodizeeman
Reply +50
(11/01/2012) [-]
no we dont...
#8 to #5 - chazzxz
Reply -61
(11/01/2012) [-]
I grew up in the most Mormon part of Salt Lake City, this place was so Mormon that Mormon churches got free land from the city. For every non Mormon I knew there were 20 Mormons, and on Halloween every house in the neighborhood was open for business.
#10 to #8 - Thecoxinthesocks
Reply +65
(11/01/2012) [-]
Mormon's might celebrate halloween but Jehovah's Witnesses don't. Totally different religions.
#9 to #8 - Vynce
Reply +17
(11/01/2012) [-]
Mormons =/= Jehovah's Witnesses.

I should know, my family contains both.
#11 to #9 - chazzxz
Reply -40
(11/01/2012) [-]
My mistake, as far as Jehovah's witnesses go many do celebrate Halloween because they understand it isn't the pagan holiday it began as, similar to smart Christians that believe in gay rights and evolution.
#14 to #11 - woodizeeman
Reply +13
(11/01/2012) [-]
no dude a true witness does not, one that does isnt a witness. thay just say thay are.
#21 to #11 - thepalmtoptiger
Reply +5
(11/01/2012) [-]
jump in a ditch.

You're being told by several people, one of which is a JW, that they don't celebrate but you're still arguing. I'll punch you in your internet nutsack.
#40 to #11 - zionsype ONLINE
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
That doesn't work. It's like being a jew how loves pork.
#13 to #11 - arabiddrummer **User deleted account**
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
^ Wrong
#22 to #13 - anon
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
No, you are wrong. Members of my kingdom hall have been disfellowshipped for lying about not celebrating holidays such as Halloween & Christmas. To be honest we don't need it. You aren't a true Christian yourself if you have to abide to a certain day out of the year to make someone happy then go out to contradict yourself the very next day. That's why I will never understand Thanksgiving & Black Friday being back to back. EVERY religion has it's flaws, we are all guilty of it because of the simple fact that we are human. That's why changes are made, in time I'm fairly sure there will be a few minor changes made to make better sense of things while staying true to the text but Holidays in general should be something that should be heavily considered as a year round habit instead of one day. Think about it... you'll definitely be liked more if you put the effort forth & it does pay off.
#24 to #22 - arabiddrummer **User deleted account**
Reply +1
(11/01/2012) [-]
I was replying to comment #11, I'm agreeing with you.
#27 to #11 - doctorlean **User deleted account**
-1
has deleted their comment [-]
#76 to #8 - amidgetwalrus
Reply +2
(11/01/2012) [-]
mfw he gets red thumb analraped and keeps posting stupid ******* ****.
#16 to #8 - abottleofrandom **User deleted account**
-6
has deleted their comment [-]
#47 - benighted
Reply +49
(11/01/2012) [-]
>Parents are Jehovas Witnesses   
>Put sign on door saying "no candy" so people wouldn't knock   
>Feels's bad man   
>I put on my hoodie and grab left over candy in pantry   
>come around corner of my house  to give it to kids   
>have to hide so parents dont see me   
>tell kids to come over, they think im selling drugs   
>they run away and tell parents   
>cops show up   
>cops and children brutally anal rape me
>Parents are Jehovas Witnesses
>Put sign on door saying "no candy" so people wouldn't knock
>Feels's bad man
>I put on my hoodie and grab left over candy in pantry
>come around corner of my house to give it to kids
>have to hide so parents dont see me
>tell kids to come over, they think im selling drugs
>they run away and tell parents
>cops show up
>cops and children brutally anal rape me
#98 to #47 - skilletfan
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
<mfw i finish
<mfw i finish
#101 to #47 - iwalkudie
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#79 to #47 - neoexdeath ONLINE
Reply +4
(11/01/2012) [-]
Away...and awaaaaaaaaay, to a world of fantasy...A place, where dreams, come truuuuuuue!~
#68 to #47 - brothergrimm
Reply +9
(11/01/2012) [-]
............... wut
............... wut
#51 to #47 - heartlessrobot
Reply +19
(11/01/2012) [-]
This image has expired
Sounds like the best damn halloween ever.
#60 - futurestas
Reply +27
(11/01/2012) [-]
Story time *************. Gather round....   
****** eatin dessert. Ice cream cone. Minding my own business.   
Jehovah's Witness comes to my door.   
I answer.   
&lt; MFW   
&quot;Can you spare a minute for Jesus Christ?&quot;   
I stare at him. Dead in the eye. No blinking.   
Awkward silence.   
&quot;Are you okay?&quot;   
I stare more. No expression on my face.   
More silence.   
&quot;You're kind of making me uncomfortable.&quot;   
I lick my mother ******* ice cream cone. Not breaking eye contact.   
Dude opens his mouth to say something, changes his mind and walks the **** away.   
Close door and continue my ice cream in ****** peace.
Story time *************. Gather round....
****** eatin dessert. Ice cream cone. Minding my own business.
Jehovah's Witness comes to my door.
I answer.
< MFW
"Can you spare a minute for Jesus Christ?"
I stare at him. Dead in the eye. No blinking.
Awkward silence.
"Are you okay?"
I stare more. No expression on my face.
More silence.
"You're kind of making me uncomfortable."
I lick my mother ******* ice cream cone. Not breaking eye contact.
Dude opens his mouth to say something, changes his mind and walks the **** away.
Close door and continue my ice cream in ****** peace.
#81 to #60 - cometfire
Reply -15
(11/01/2012) [-]
Witnesses don't say "Spare a moment for Jesus Christ" You lying little ass wipe.
#94 to #81 - elcreepo
Reply +6
(11/01/2012) [-]
Way to kill a joke.    
   
You must be reeeeeeaaaal fun at parties.
Way to kill a joke.

You must be reeeeeeaaaal fun at parties.
#110 to #81 - skinless
Reply +1
(11/01/2012) [-]
dude you ruin alllllllllllllllllllllll the jokes! you're a ******* buzz kill!
dude you ruin alllllllllllllllllllllll the jokes! you're a ******* buzz kill!
#96 to #81 - randybutternub
Reply +1
(11/01/2012) [-]
You're fun.
#66 - moggycore
Reply +20
(11/01/2012) [-]
#15 - Spitfirex
Reply +19
(11/01/2012) [-]
Everyone should go to their local &quot;Jehovah's Witness&quot; neighbor's house, during a random time of the year and ask for Halloween candy.
Everyone should go to their local "Jehovah's Witness" neighbor's house, during a random time of the year and ask for Halloween candy.
#65 - rubberpig
Reply +17
(11/01/2012) [-]
>Eating some ******* hot pizza
>Waiting for it to cool down
>Jehovah's Witness comes to door
>Answer it with pizza on plate
>"Can you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?"
>Sure, can you just wait a second?
>"Sure."
>He sits outside for 2 hours.
#82 to #65 - cometfire
Reply -8
(11/01/2012) [-]
Again another liar. Witnesses don't ask you to spare a moment for Jesus Christ. Those are baptists.
Again another liar. Witnesses don't ask you to spare a moment for Jesus Christ. Those are baptists.
#93 to #82 - elcreepo
Reply +6
(11/01/2012) [-]
You must be fun at parties..
#100 to #82 - harryscene
Reply +1
(11/01/2012) [-]
Dude, nobody gives a ****.
#107 to #65 - pedochrist
Reply +1
(11/01/2012) [-]
I know man, Jehova witnesses are like, the most pacient people on Earth.
#77 - anonsoftomarroww **User deleted account**
+14
has deleted their comment [-]
#78 to #77 - mrblueftw ONLINE
Reply +4
(11/01/2012) [-]
What? i havent really heard any christian not celebrate halloween.
#87 to #78 - anon
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
Christanon here. Maybe I can shed some light on the situation.

We do believe Halloween is actually a fairly demonic celebration, but we also like candy. So it depends on why you celebrate it. Christians who participate are celebrating dressing up and getting candy.
#95 to #87 - toocheesy
Reply +1
(11/01/2012) [-]
How can you not go out and celebrate with slutty bumble-bees and skanky policewomen?
#88 to #87 - mrblueftw ONLINE
Reply +1
(11/01/2012) [-]
Im christian and i do it. sure its farily satanic but who do you see saying halloween is satanic to a 5 year old princess with a pumpkin bucket?
#99 to #88 - youarelying
Reply 0
(11/01/2012) [-]
halloween isn't satanic at all. it was originally about celebrating the lives of those that have been lost but for some reason was changed to kids dressing up to get free candy
#105 to #99 - monstarach
Reply +1
(11/01/2012) [-]
And then the Christians have Christmas, placed on the winter solstice to over shadow the Pagan celebrations on the same exact day lol
#28 - brukernavn
Reply +11
(11/01/2012) [-]
And then we have the 364 other days.
#75 - bdowns
Reply +9
(11/01/2012) [-]
**bdowns rolled a random image posted in comment #88 at xbox 720 ** MFW Jehovah's witnesses come to my door