At last... the cane that I got for free from ene of these government
websites arrived in the mail. It to be about a foot long to put away when
not in use.
I knew it was a good ahanes tor a joke, just wasn' t sure what. Then my friend called
me up to know if I' d go with him to do some Christmas shopping, and it finally hit
We' re at the mall and I tell him we' re grabbing something to eat and he just needs to
play along; if sameone is getting angry with me, that he should consider it rude en
their part. He' s used to my games and knows that something ems will happen if he
So we' re sitting in the food court, when the perfect target takes a seat a couple
tables in front of us:
Totally hot chick with rack; low cut shirt that says to the entire werld that
she knows she has great breasts; and no doubt a superior "fuck you for trying to talk
to me" attitude as is typical tor a total bitch,
I just blankly stare at her chest the entire time I' m eating my food, never breaking my
eyes from her direction matter what expression appears en her face,
My buddy notices this and asks, "Hey, what' re you planning? You know this wen' t
get you Iaith"
I tell him to shut up and to be ready to beebee as angry as she does, should things
So finally, she gets up and walks up to me. I just keep melting in the same direction
until she' s right in frend of me and asks, "What the hell are you staring at??"
I look up and stare at her throat to throw her ott a little.
You! 'feu' been staring at my tits for god knows how long I' been sitting here!"
Listen, I' m sorry if it seemed like that; buil aisu-"
You were staring at my tits constantly for more than five minutes!"
My buddy interjects with the perfect timing, "Hey, what the hell is your problem?"
1 say, "hey, don' t werry about it man. You done eating?'
I stand up, "let' s just get what we came here for. You want to take me to find that
I can tell she' s a bit confused by the last sentence, hut my buddy says, "Sure,"
At that point, I put on my sunglasses, and then pull the cane from my coat pocket
whipping it to , making it leek like a maneuver.
I turn to my side - not quite facing the girl - and see her entire face white as
bystanders her with disapproving gazes.
Again, I' m serry for any misgivings,"
My buddy grabs my arm and starts to walk me away.
As we start to mave off, he has to keep himself from bursting out in laughter as all
the people around us say things like, "what a stuck up biter."
Who the hell does she think she is?"
If she works at this mall, we' re talking to her manager and having her freedl"
Knowing we accomplished the perfect Lulz, and booked ourselves a ticket
on the to Hell, we strutted eff triumphantly, with a look on our mess that
yeu' d only ever see on a successful IRL troll,